Again, he remembered when he used to stay with Danny during the holidays. Liz had seemed like such a child to him then — someone he used to tease but forgot about easily, never someone he ever imagined he’d be attracted to. But he was attracted to her, and found himself a little more each time he saw her. It disturbed him how many times thoughts of her popped into his head when he wasn’t with her.

  Justin stood up to get some more wine, and Alex was instantly on his feet. ‘Here, let me do that. You relax and enjoy yourself while Seb’s asleep.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Justin handed Alex the empty bottle and sat back down. ‘I knew there was a reason we asked you to be Sebastian’s godfather.’

  Alex smiled, glad to be doing something. The obvious love that Justin and Amanda had for each other and for their child was bittersweet to him. He and Amanda had grown up together in their early years, but drifted apart as teenagers. Like Tia, she’d been a rock to him since his return to London, and he genuinely enjoyed being in both her and Justin’s company. He was glad that she had found someone she loved and who loved her, and he was so proud of the mother she had become. But today was stirring uncomfortable emotions in him. His own child would be a toddler by now, and he couldn’t help wondering what he or she would have been like. His eyes welled at the thought, and he turned away. The last thing he wanted was to spoil this happy day.

  ‘Won’t be a tick,’ he managed to say in a voice that was little more than a croak.

  He opened the kitchen door — and there she was in front of him again. The woman he had been unable to keep from his mind since that night at Tia’s. She was so focused on her work, she didn’t even see him. In front of her was an enormous chocolate cake, which she was carefully adding decorations to. She lifted something delicate in her hands, placed it carefully in the centre of the cake, and stood back, frowning to assess her work.

  ‘It looks beautiful — a work of art.’

  She jumped at his words and looked up at him, confused. ‘Sorry, I didn’t realise you were standing there. Again.’

  ‘You were concentrating so hard; I didn’t want to disturb you. Can I have a look?’

  ‘Of course.’ She nodded, and he saw a faint blush rise in her cheeks.

  ‘Oh, I see. It’s a baby in a crib,’ he said, looking more closely. ‘What’s it made of?’

  ‘Moulding icing.’

  He stepped forward. ‘It’s exquisite,’ he said, admiring the detail. ‘Where did you get this from?’

  ‘I made it,’ she said hesitantly.

  ‘You did?’

  ‘Yes. I must admit, it was a bit of a challenge. I haven’t done much confectionary work. It took me a few goes to get it right. But in the end, I think it’s turned out okay.’

  ‘It’s more than okay, it’s magnificent.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  He stood up and looked at her closely. ‘Liz, I just wanted to say that I’m really sorry for the other night at Tia’s. I wasn’t expecting to see you there and it caught me on the hop.’

  The colour rose even more in her cheeks, and Alex’s heart did a little jitter in his chest. He loved the fact that she was so modest. A breath of fresh air.

  ‘Actually, I’m sorry as well. It’s been a shock for me too, seeing you after all these years.’

  ‘Apology accepted.’

  She looked away, seemingly unable to hold his gaze. ‘Did you come in for some more wine?’

  ‘Yes, Justin will wonder where I’ve got to. I’d better take it through.’

  ‘Have you finished the main course?’

  ‘More or less.’

  ‘I’ll clear the plates.’

  ‘I’ll take this in and give you a hand.’

  It felt strange them being so polite with each other, strained even. ‘There’s no need, I can manage. And you’re a guest.’

  ‘I know you can manage, but I’d like to,’ he replied pointedly. ‘Amanda is used to me pitching in. She won’t mind.’

  ‘Thanks then,’ she said as she went into the dining room.

  * * *

  Liz was glad that she didn’t have much more to do other than clear the plates and deliver the cake to the guests. It had been nerve-wracking knowing Alex was in the next room, especially as Emma wasn’t here to serve the food. But it had all worked out, and she just hoped the cake tasted as good as it looked.

  Alex’s apology had surprised her and she was more than a little pleased by it. Few people would have admitted that they’d spoken hastily, and it had taken him up in her estimation.

  The last week had certainly changed her perspective. She hadn’t realised it before, but she’d allowed the past to keep her in its grip, and although she’d fooled herself that she was striving towards her future, she’d still been holding herself back. Not anymore.

  ‘I can stay and help you clear up,’ Alex offered as Liz brought in the last of the plates.

  ‘No, you mustn’t,’ she replied. ‘I’m just about to take the cake in. You have to be there for that.’

  ‘Yes, of course. But before I do, can I just ask . . . will you come out for a meal with me one night? It would be good to talk when you’re not working.’

  ‘What would Nikki say about that?’ The words slipped out before she could stop them. What did Nikki have to do with anything? He’d obviously only want to talk about Danny.

  ‘Nikki and I have split up.’

  ‘Oh,’ she said in surprise. ‘That was sudden. You seemed so together on Thursday.’

  He shook his head. ‘It wasn’t working. I ended it later that night.’

  Liz couldn’t believe how pleased she felt at his words. ‘Well, in that case, yes. I’d like to have a chance to talk to you properly.’

  ‘Are you free tomorrow night?’

  ‘Um . . . okay.’

  ‘Great. I’ll pick you up at yours. Seven o’clock?’

  ‘Yes, that’s great,’ she said, hoping she wasn’t setting herself up for more heartache.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Liz spent Monday in nervous anticipation of the meal with Alex. Her first concern was what she would wear. She didn’t have an extensive wardrobe, as most of the time she wore either chef’s whites or casual clothes. Her suits were too formal and clothes she wore for clubbing entirely unsuitable for a dinner date.

  Date. Was it really a date? Years ago, she’d have passed out with excitement if Alex had suggested they go out for a meal, but today she was filled with so many conflicting feelings. She kept telling herself that he just wanted to talk about her brother and tried to ignore the fact that he’d split up with his girlfriend.

  Just as she was giving up all hope on the contents of her wardrobe, she remembered the dress Mel had bought her the week before. She hadn’t even tried it on. She’d actually tried to take it back, but as she didn’t have the card it had been bought with, the shop had refused. Liz slipped it off the hanger and held it out in front of her. It was perfect, even more so when she tried it on. The dark green satin clung to all the right places without being obvious, and she decided that it was the type of dress that could be worn anywhere. Liz smiled at herself in the mirror and silently thanked her sister. She would find some way to repay her for the gift; a way that didn’t offend her.

  The buzzer sounded as she was applying her lipstick, and nervously she answered it. Alex stood, fresh and handsome in a light-blue linen shirt and navy chinos.

  ‘Wow, you look fantastic,’ he said as he eyed her dress. ‘I knew you’d scrub up well.’

  ‘Excuse me!’ She feigned astonishment and then burst out laughing. ‘Well, I suppose it’s a change from my chef’s whites.’

  ‘You’d look good in anything,’ he said. She blushed and looked away. ‘I don’t suppose you’re ready, are you?’ he asked, and the awkwardness was broken.

  ‘Yes, of course. You said seven.’

  ‘Yes, but . . .’ He laughed.

  ‘What?’

  ‘It’s just that a lot of women I know wouldn’t take that literally. But I’m glad you did. Come on, I’ve got a taxi waiting downstairs.’

  He instructed the driver to take them to Ristorante Angelo in Fitzrovia when they’d climbed into the taxi. Then he turned to her. ‘Is that okay? Or is going to a restaurant a bit of a busman’s holiday for you?’

  ‘Not at all. I love eating out, but don’t often get the chance. I’ve never been to that restaurant before. Italian, I presume?’

  ‘Yes, and very good too.’

  ‘Maybe it will give me inspiration for some new dishes.’

  ‘I hope you won’t be thinking about work all night.’

  ‘No, of course not,’ she said, then added, ‘We have other things to talk about.’

  A while later, the taxi stopped outside an ordinary looking Italian restaurant by the side of a busy road. Momentarily, she was disappointed. It certainly didn’t look like the sort of upmarket place he’d take his model girlfriends. Inside, it looked like a traditional Italian, warm and cosy with delicious smells. If the food tasted as good as it smelled, then perhaps that’s why he had chosen it.

  ‘Ah, Mr Sinclaire. So nice to see you again.’ A waiter greeted him at the door and smiled at them both. ‘We have your favourite table downstairs,’ he added as he led them down the stone staircase to the basement restaurant, where the atmosphere was completely different. She gasped as she took in the stone walls and arches, enormous chandeliers, and little nooks and crannies where secluded tables were set with white linen tablecloths, napkins, and shining glass and silverware. The whole place oozed romance and Liz was momentarily stunned.

  ‘It’s fabulous, isn’t it?’ Alex said quietly. ‘Some restaurants these days are so noisy you can’t hear each other talk.’

  She nodded. That’s what he wanted to do. Talk. ‘It’s lovely.’

  ‘And the food is excellent. I wanted to bring you somewhere you’d be impressed by the food. Not an easy task.’

  ‘Not having to cook it myself is impressive enough for me.’

  The waiter led them to a table in one of the more secluded nooks. Alex pulled out the chair for her and she smiled at him as she sat down, although she felt her nerves rising.

  He ordered wine while Liz concentrated on the menu, more to hide the fact that her conversational skills had deserted her. Everything on the menu looked wonderful, and she was spoiled for choice.

  ‘Do you eat here a lot?’ she asked. ‘The waiter seemed pleased to see you.’

  ‘I’ve eaten here a few times, yes.’

  ‘Do you have any particular favourites on the menu?’

  ‘The pear and blue cheese salad is great as a starter, and the roast poussin with wild mushrooms is delicious.’

  ‘I haven’t had poussin for a while and the starter sounds good too,’ she said, shutting her menu.

  He did the same, and the silence between them elongated.

  ‘It’s good to see you when you’re not in work mode,’ Alex said eventually.

  ‘Or screaming abuse at you.’

  ‘You had your reasons.’

  ‘At the time, I thought they were very good reasons . . . but now I’m not so sure.’ Her mouth was suddenly dry and she reached for a glass of water.

  ‘Go on.’

  ‘It’s a long story.’

  ‘We’ve got all night,’ he said, smiling at her.

  His smile made her feel like she was melting, and she took a deep breath to steady herself. After all these years of hating him, now she desperately wanted him to like her. It was an unusual feeling. When the waiter had taken their order and retreated, she plucked up the courage to say what was on her mind. ‘First of all, I want to apologise again about what I said about your wife. I was out of order.’

  He nodded. ‘I think I backed you into a corner. And I could have reacted better. Storming out was childish. I do regret that.’

  ‘Do you?’ Her heart started to thump in her chest.

  ‘Yes. Because it left so many unanswered questions.’

  ‘Yes, of course,’ she replied, disappointed. He was making it obvious that this dinner was all about Danny. She mustn’t let her own feelings get carried away. The waiter arrived with the wine and they were silent as he poured it. When they were alone again, she carried on. ‘When you left my apartment the other Sunday, did you notice anyone coming in?’

  He frowned. ‘Yes, a woman and two children.’

  ‘That was my sister, Mel, and my niece and nephew.’

  ‘Mel?’ He looked at her in surprise. ‘That was Mel and her kids?’

  ‘Yes, Sophie and Ben. They’re nine and six. She’s a great mum.’

  ‘She was always looking after stray animals on the farm.’

  Liz smiled. ‘She still does. Her husband’s a vet, so there’s plenty of opportunity to collect waifs and strays.’

  ‘I’ll bet. It would have been nice to catch up with her.’

  ‘We weren’t exactly at the point of offering friendly invitations.’ Liz tried to make a joke out of it but he remained serious.

  ‘No, I don’t suppose we were.’

  ‘Anyway, she stayed for a few days and we talked about Danny. Seeing you brought everything to the surface, and it turns out that we remember things very differently.’ She paused and took a sip of her wine to ease the constriction in her throat. Her voice broke a little as continued. ‘I idolised Danny but Mel saw things more clearly. We’ve never been able to speak about it until now.’

  ‘I thought you two were really close?’

  ‘We used to be,’ she admitted. ‘But I have to confess that I’ve kept my distance in recent years.’

  ‘Why?’

  She sighed. She wasn’t going to tell him the truth, that being with her family reminded her of her illness. Instead, she said, ‘I suppose because I’ve found it all too painful.’

  ‘That’s such a shame.’

  ‘Yes. But maybe things can be different now.’

  The food arrived and Liz was grateful for the space it gave her, as she felt she was doing all the talking. The salad she’d ordered was delicious: the pear, walnuts and blue cheese an excellent combination.

  When she put down her knife and fork, Alex was watching her. ‘What actually happened, Liz?’ he asked suddenly.

  She took a deep breath and told him everything. When she’d finished, she added, ‘I’m so sorry. Danny made it sound as though you knew how much he loved you and that you’d knocked him back rather cruelly. He was heartbroken, but then he always was a bit of a drama queen.’

  When she’d come to the part in his diary about him writing the goodbye note, she’d re-read the note she’d shown Melissa. It was totally clear now that it wasn’t a letter declaring his intentions to leave them all, although the way it was worded had made it easy to think that. It was a relief to know that it was just his way of moving on from unrequited love.

  ‘I’d agree with you there,’ Alex said, interrupting her thoughts. ‘We had some real humdingers over the years.’

  ‘Especially the night you announced your engagement?’

  Alex took a sip of his wine before he answered her. He remembered so vividly that last night at university. ‘I’ve been thinking about that since I bumped into you. I suppose I didn’t really see what was going on under my nose. I was too in love.’

  ‘With Kas?’

  ‘Yes. We got together at the May Ball and we just clicked. From then on, there was no stopping us.’

  He recalled how wonderful life seemed then. His entire future was ahead of him. He’d had big plans to move back to Dubai, and he had a good job lined up. When he’d first met Kas, he couldn’t believe that she also came from Dubai. Like him, she’d been sent to boarding school in the UK and had wanted to stay in the country to do a degree in art, but she was more than happy to go back to her family so that they could be together. Life was perfect and he’d felt that nothing could go wrong. What a mistake that had been.

  ‘I was so sure about Kas that we got engaged really quickly. Danny was furious. I thought it was because he felt we were moving too fast, but now I realise that wasn’t the whole story. He never let on, though. Like I said, I had no idea how he felt about me.’

  ‘Yes, I get that now.’

  ‘We had a massive row that night and he stormed off. I decided to give him a chance to cool down, but when I went round the next morning, he’d gone. Packed up and left. I never saw him again.’

  Liz leaned forward, put her hand over his and he felt a frisson of excitement at her touch.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I really got the wrong end of the stick.’

  ‘I can understand why. But I did hurt Danny, whether I meant to or not. When Kas and I got together, I never wanted to be apart from her. I neglected my friends and I wish I hadn’t. I’ll always feel guilty about that. At that age, you think you have all the time in the world. When Danny spoiled the announcement of our engagement, I was furious with him. I was even more furious when I found he’d done a disappearing act. But I never for one moment thought that we wouldn’t have the time to re-build those bridges. If I’d known what would happen, I’d have tried harder.’

  ‘It’s easy to see with the benefit of hindsight. I’m sure we’d all have done things differently if we’d known what was about to happen,’ she said softly.

  He smiled, glad that they had sorted out their differences.

 

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