Working girl, p.22
Working Girl, page 22
She had suffered at the hands of Big Earl that night too. After he’d grabbed me in the alleyway, he’d gone back to get her. He took out his anger on her, beating her until she blacked out. She woke up bruised, battered, and bleeding. She’d been trying to do what was best, but I knew there was a reason she hadn’t done anything about the pregnancy. None of that mattered after that night, because Big Earl had made her decision for her. And even though she had said she never wanted that baby to begin with, I think a part of her did. I tried to get her to talk to someone, but she refused; saying she just wanted to move on from it.
When it was all said and done, Chrissy made her decision and stuck to it. She knew everything was going to be okay.
And it was. Being so young and beautiful, she found work easily enough—this time at someplace more respectable. You can see her dancing most nights at the Pussy Cat Dolls Lounge. The time she spent at the strip club showed her that she was good at something else, and she found a new passion because of it. Dancing was in her blood and she knew now that she didn’t have to take her clothes off to make a buck. I couldn’t be more proud.
We live together in an actual apartment, which we pay for with our own money. Chrissy was able to secure me a part-time job at a studio where she trains; I keep the books and get to take some dancing lessons for free. It’s fun, and I’m proud of myself for being able to do something for myself. On my own.
Immediately after the incident, after I almost lost my life, Emerson wouldn’t let me out of his sight. While he kept me close, he never touched me. Our kisses were placid, always on the cheek, and every time he touched my skin he flinched. In the comfort of his dorm, I spent every waking hour and night with him. It didn’t take long for me to figure out why. He needed me just as much as I needed him. But things were different. He was guarded.
And as the days and weeks passed on, I never could get used to hearing Emerson cry. Sometimes, it was when he thought I was sleeping at night; other times it was when he was in the shower. His sadness tormented me, but what hurt even more is how he spent weeks thinking that he couldn’t let me see him mourn his father.
Eventually, I grew tired of him attempting to shut me out and I barged into the bathroom and jumped into the shower, my clothes still on. Wrapped my arms tightly around his waist, I held him as his sobs shook his whole body. We stayed like that until the water ran cold. After that, Emerson didn’t shut me out anymore.
Once Emerson opened his heart back up to me, so did his Mom. Our first meeting after the shooting was strained, and I couldn’t help but think that they were all blaming me for what happened; no matter how many times they hugged me, or had Emerson tell me that I did nothing wrong.
So here we sit, out the back of his house, on the most adorable bench I’ve ever seen. Emerson’s mom has the best taste and it’s nice to have an actual mother around. The heat is oppressive, and a bead of sweat trickles down my neck. “It’s hot,” I say mindlessly before wiping off my forehead with the back of my hand.
Emerson sits in stoic silence, minutes passing by before he speaks. “Presley, I want you to start back at school for Spring Semester.”
I sigh. “We’ve talked about this, Emerson. I can’t do it.”
“Yes, you can . . . and you will.”
Shaking my head I continue to argue. “I have no money, a measly part-time job, and nothing on the horizon. What makes you think I can start taking classes again?”
It was more of a statement than a question. He was being foolish for even bringing it up, and I was ready to stop talking about it.
“Mom and I are going to help. We just got a huge settlement from Dad’s death, plus his assets from liquidating his businesses—”
“I can’t let you do that,” I say, cutting him off.
He turns his body towards me. “Some good should come out of his death. His whole life was a sham, Presley. He was a fake, and it kills me that he had such a hand in making your life shit while mine was easy. I need to make things right.” He pauses and runs his hand along the back of his neck. “This is my way of making it happen.”
“But that’s your money—”
He gently covers my mouth with his hand, preventing me from arguing with him any further. “And you’re my girl. I want you to be able to do whatever you want to. If it’ll make you feel better you can pay me back, okay?” He doesn’t remove his hand, choosing instead to give me a pointed look, letting me know he’s waiting for me to surrender. Even though I don’t really want to, I give up and nod. He smiles and immediately drops his hand.
“Deal,” I say, leaning over and planting a kiss on his cheek. “I still don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
“Me either,” he jokes, tangling his fingers with mine. His thumb rubs lazy circles on the back of my hand as he directs his attention to the sun that is slowly falling behind the horizon.
“It’s gorgeous.”
“It’s you.”
Perplexed, I look over at him. He’s smiling, reveling in his cryptic code. “What do you mean?”
“The sun. It’s you.” He laughs, loving every minute of my confusion. I slap his shoulder playfully before he continues, “You were an Alaskan winter when I met you. It was cold and dark, and you were begging to have warmth in your life. Now . . . well, now, you rise and fall everyday, but the brightness and the life is always there. So you, my dear, are the sun.” He smiles at me and I can feel my stomach take flight.
“So what does that make you?” I ask breathlessly.
With a grin, he rebuts my question with another. “What needs the sun?”
“Everything.”
“Bingo.” He winks. “I want to be your everything, Presley. Every minute, of every day, of every remaining year of my life. I will be it for you.”
“Things are going to be okay, aren’t they?”
“Yeah.” He sighs, looking out at the horizon again. “They are.”
“So, where are we going?” I ask. Emerson has been acting like he’s up to no good since we woke up earlier that morning; obviously he has something up his sleeve. This excites me because Emerson plans the best dates.
His face is adorned with a wide grin as he looks over at me before reaching into the backseat and grabbing a bag, tossing it into my lap. “I’m taking you swimming.” Intrigued, I open the bag and start to rifle through the contents: two towels, and a bikini for me.
“Swimming?” I question, my eyebrows lifting in curiosity. “I hate to break it to you, but I actually have managed to go swimming in my sheltered life.”
With his hands gripping the steering wheel, he lightly laughs. “Maybe so, but I bet you’ve never been swimming like this.” Obviously not wanting to talk any further, he uses his right hand to turn the volume up on the stereo. Me First and the Gimme Gimme’s flood the car and I drop the subject; not really caring where we’re going, I just don’t enjoy surprises. Unfortunately for me, Emerson seems to really like planning them.
We drive for what seems like hours. I definitely nod off at one point. Swimming is starting to sound like a great idea, especially considering the sweat that is beginning to collect at the small of my back. I throw a silent celebration as the car pulls down a dirt road and eventually slows. Looking out the car window I see rocks; jagged rocks, surrounding a hole.
“This doesn’t look like a place to swim,” I huff, slightly annoyed. The heat is stifling and I’m feeling hot, and definitely let down. It’s like taking a drink of cool water when you’re expecting it to be soda.
Placing the car into park, Emerson looks over at me. “Looks can be deceiving, Presley. Remember that.” He winks, pushing the pre-packed bag toward me. “Get your suit on and meet me out in front of the car.”
“What?” I grin. “You’re not going to stay and help tie me up?” My suggestive comment is met with laughter.
Despite my advance, Emerson opens the driver’s door. “If I stay in this car with you while you put that thing on”—he points at the itty bitty string bikini in my hands—“we definitely won’t be doing any swimming today.” Before I have the chance to plead my case, he exits, slamming the door shut behind him.
I sigh and start changing. It only takes me a few minutes and I’m thankful to stretch my legs as I get out of the car. With a few short strides, I’m next to Emerson, pressing up against his side as he wraps his arm around my neck. “So are you ready to feel the most amazing feeling known to mankind?”
Looking up at him, my eyelashes flutter with complete adoration. “I thought I’d already felt that,” I joke half-heartedly. It had taken us awhile to be intimate again after everything that happened. There had been a few failed attempts; the reality of knowing that his father had raped me proving to be a big obstacle for Emerson. It messed with my head but he was so loving about it, assuring me that it had nothing to with me and everything to do with where his head was at. But we took it slow, and once we got there it was like nothing ever changed.
Emerson shakes his head, a smile on his face the entire time. “Since when did you get so frisky?” he asks, grabbing my hand and walking toward the rocks surrounding the abyss before us.
“Since my boyfriend started being so damn mysterious.”
“Haven’t I always been mysterious?”
“Touché.”
“Means to touch,” he finishes, laughing before playfully slapping my rear end and causing me to squeal. “Now shut your mouth and hop up on that rock.” He points directly in front of us at the enormous rock that looks out over the hole.
I look at him like he’s crazy. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Just get up there. I’m right behind you.”
I do as I’m told and take the last few steps, lifting myself up onto the rock. Once on top of it, I begin to stand and my knees start to shake. My eyes fan outward and I see the gorgeous blue water filling the ravine, managing to mutter a weak, “Wow,” before Emerson scales the rock to stand next to me.
“Isn’t it awesome?”
“How’d you know about this place?” I ask, still in awe of the natural beauty right before my eyes.
“I came here a lot after Sebastian died. It was a bad time for me. Nothing made me feel nearly as good as taking a leap off this rock.”
My eyes bug, and I look back at him. “You what?”
“Jumped off.”
Suddenly aware of where this is going, I look down. It seems too far; like the impact alone would kill me. “It’s so far,” I add.
“Yeah, that’s the fun in it. Trust me, Presley, there is no greater feeling in the world than that of free falling. It’s the best medicine, and it’s exactly why we’re here. We could both use a little pick-me-up.”
He always had a reason for everything. Always delivering a message to me—whether or not I wanted to hear it. “But I don’t need any medicine,” I coo, snaking my arms around his waist. “I have you.”
Leaning down, he kisses my forehead. “I know. But I also know that you keep blaming yourself.”
I don’t want to go there. “Emerson—”
“Let me finish,” he cuts in. “Everything that went down was just a series of unfortunate events. You were just a girl, working. What happened in the past deserves to stay there. It doesn’t need to cause any more discontent. So today, we jump.”
With my heart full of love, I ask the only thing that seems appropriate. “So, where are we jumping?”
“Into the future.”
Once the words leave his mouth he takes two steps toward the edge and launches himself outward. I watch in shock as he falls quickly, his hands flapping at his side as he free falls. The splash echoes in my ears and I hold my breath, waiting for him to surface. He comes up for air, hooting and hollering. “C’mon, Presley!” he calls out to me. “Come on down, the water is full of hopes and dreams.”
I smile as I position myself closer to the edge. I’m scared shitless but I know taking the leap will be worth it. Drawing in one final deep breath, I throw myself forward, and the instant my feet leave that rock, my stomach drops out and my heart races.
Emerson was right.
Free falling is one of the best feelings I’ve ever experienced; second only to being in love with him. Cutting through the air feels like the longest few moments of my life but once I hit the cool water, I’m hit with invigoration. I kick my feet, propelling me toward the surface, where I know the love of my life awaits. As soon as my head breaches the surface I gasp for air, panting slightly. With a smile still on my face I turn around and look at Emerson, who is looking at me, grinning from ear to ear. “That was amazing,” I say between breaths.
He swims to me, wrapping his arms around my naked waist. His skin against mine warms me underneath the cool water. “So was it worth it?” The tone of his voice lets me know that there’s more meaning to this question than meets the eye. That’s always the way with Emerson; everything has meaning. There is a purpose to every utterance he speaks.
“Was what worth it?” I ask. For this one time, I want him to say what he really wants to say. No more beating around the bush—it’s time for him to start laying it all on the line.
“All of it,” he whispers into my ear.
The heat spreads through my body, awakening every nerve ending. My chest heaving in and out of the water as I struggle to catch my breath from the jump, I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer than imaginable. Our bodies tangle under the water and my heart starts thundering to its own beat. I speak to him in a hushed voice. “As long as I’m here with you, yes, it was. Every single second, of every single day, was worth it.”
EMERSON AND I ARE LAUGHING as we enter his house; the home he once shared with the man whom I hated more than anything. I almost forget about it until we enter the foyer and our voices echo. The reverberations bring me out of my love-induced stupor and my head snaps. But then I remember what Emerson said just hours ago: what happened in the past does deserve to stay there. Big Earl doesn’t deserve to be here, in these precious moments between Emerson and I.
These moments are about us, and only us.
With a newfound confidence, I stroll over to Emerson and place my hands on the sides of his face, pulling him towards me. “I love you,” I say loudly. “Now kiss me.”
He doesn’t hesitate and his lips quickly cover mine. We stay that way for a few moments before I hear a throat clear from the top of the stairs. Breaking the seal of our mouths, I look up to find Emerson’s mother gazing down at us. She looks happy, but I still feel that little devilish guilt creeping in. Her whole world has been turned upside down because of me.
“Did you two have a good day?” she asks as she starts to make her way down the stairs.
“We sure did,” Emerson says proudly, his arm still wrapped around my neck.
“Can I count on you two for dinner?”
Emerson doesn’t even hesitate. He drops his arm and goes to his mother, enveloping her in one of his amazing hugs. “Of course you can.”
She smiles and looks at me. “Emerson, would you mind terribly if I had a chance to talk to Presley a little on my own?”
Again, despite all my attempts to control my feelings, the anxiety starts to spread throughout my body. I immediately fear the worst and panic that this is the part where she tells me to leave her son alone; that I’m toxic and will kill him. The part where she blames me for everything. All the things that I say to myself everyday are finally going to come to fruition and someone else is going to say them. I pray that Emerson will say no. That he’ll want to continue to spend the day with me.
“Of course I don’t mind, Mom.” He speaks so nonchalantly as he breaks his embrace with his mother and walks towards me, placing a quick kiss on my forehead before he excuses himself to head upstairs and get changed, leaving me alone with a woman who totally scares the shit out of me.
We stand in the foyer for a few more tense moments before she sticks her hand out. “Come with me, Presley.”
I slide my hand into hers and she leads me into a room I’ve never seen before. It’s formal looking, the furniture nicer than anything I’ve ever seen before. I’m afraid to sit on it, it’s that pretty. But once she sits down I decide I should do the same. It would be too weird if I continue to stand over her.
We’re sitting on the couch together, our knees practically touching, when she finally starts to talk. “I always wanted a daughter.” She pauses, swallowing hard, her eyes glued to the floor. “His reasons made sense to me at the time, but now I know that they were a big sham. I mean, he was obviously a great liar. He didn’t want more kids because he was a heartless man.”
“Mrs. Williams, you don’t have to do this.”
She holds her hand up, indicating for me to stop. “Yes, Presley, I do, because not only do I feel like I owe you something, I know I do.” A single tear slides down her cheek. “I want you to know that I had no idea. I thought he owned his own practice. I’d even been to an office. I’d seen his license. His diploma hung on the wall. He even had a secretary . . .” The tears are falling faster now.
“Mrs. Williams—”
She ignores my pleading. “If I had only known . . . maybe I could have done something to help. Maybe I could have gotten all the girls the assistance they needed to get on their feet.” Her words come faster as she continues to plead with her guilty conscious. Listening to her, I feel empathetic. Because both of us are stricken with guilt in our own way.
I place my hand on her knee and it seems to snap her out of her trance. “Mrs. Williams, with all due respect, we could sit here all day and talk about the what if’s. But none of that really matters anymore now, does it?”
Wiping the tears from her eyes, she shakes her head. “I guess not.”
“No, it doesn’t. But I’ll tell you what does matter. Right now. Me, and you, and Emerson.” I smile. “You know, a wise man once told me that you can’t keep living in the past. He said something like, ‘leave the past where it belongs.’ And you know what—he was right. If we keep living in the past, trying to think of all the things we could have done differently, we’re going to miss all the good things that are right in front of us. Besides, why would we want to change anything? Everything that has happened has led us here.”
