Broomstick, p.21
Broomstick, page 21
“Well, you wrote the essay like a Christian.”
Then something weird happens. She stops talking. And I don’t dare say a word. A few students are still glancing over.
“I’m sorry I disappointed you, Cadence,” she says.
Seriously? That’s a fucking understatement.
“Now to the other matter,” she says. “I didn’t only come here to hand-deliver your grade. I also came because Mira told me about your visions. A witch, after initiation, can receive great power. I believe you are channeling energy, but it’s moving in the wrong direction. I can help you. I can help channel it so that it no longer haunts you. So that you can control it.”
“I don’t want your help.”
Alondra raises a hand. “I know. Think it over… You are still writing your grimoire, are you not?”
“How would you know that?”
“Natural witches are part telepathic, Cadence.” Then she shrugs. “And it wouldn’t be a hard guess. I wouldn’t doubt you’d add entries to try to understand what’s going on.”
“Yeah? What’s going on?”
“I think you can figure it out. You’re channeling the ghost because of your family’s heritage. Maverick is in your blood. According to the story, Abigail tortured Escoba and her child, Maverick, in revenge. Abigail so hurt Escoba and her son that it has left a mark, like a scar, in Hawthorne. I think you are tapping into this. Their pain has become your pain, and your mind has mixed it up with your own bereavement over your mother. And Maverick’s ghost manifests to you as a boy because it was at that time that his psychic energy was at its strongest.”
“How do you know Maverick is my great-great-grandfather?” I ask. I’ve always guessed, with my surname, that I was related to the Hawthornes. I’ve been remembering the Wandering and asking my father, confused, about our ancestry.
She doesn’t answer me. Instead she pauses pensively for a moment. Then she adds, “Abigail went mad after murdering Escoba—so the tale goes. But we don’t know if she murdered her. Maybe Escoba committed suicide from the stress Abigail had caused? But both were punished with a kind of madness. Both obviously had Wanderings of their own, just like you and me. But they never seemed to recover. I think both Abigail and Escoba were witches.
“The same madness could happen to others who aren’t helped through their Book of Shadows… It is said that Abigail wandered through the forests around our campus, haunted by visions of Escoba’s ghost, after Escoba died. Does all this sound familiar, Cadence?”
“What are you trying to say?”
“Nothing.”
“Are you hinting that I’ll go crazy unless I get rid of Maverick?”
“Well, it’s gonna be hard for your sanity if you keep seeing visions of his ghost. Isn’t it? I mean, Mira is pretty open to the paranormal, but she was severely shaken after seeing your spirit. She told me you were used to seeing him.”
“I see him,” I say, looking down.
But then I’m thinking Alondra is manipulating me. She’s trying to get me back. And when I look up, she seems to guess my thoughts.
“I can help you, Cadence. Unlike Mira, I’ve seen ghosts and I’ve gotten rid of them. Ghosts thrive off energy. If you can’t control your energy, you might start seeing them. It can get difficult.”
“I don’t want your help.”
“You don’t have a choice,” Alondra snaps. People turn again. “Cadence,” she says more quietly, “you’re already too deeply into this.”
And isn’t that what Mira told me?
Now I am reminded of it. All the times Mira came to me, it was Alondra. Mira was her messenger. Probably the last time, too, even though Mira denied it. It’s another secret that lowers my respect for her. I don’t feel as if I am talking to a superior anymore; I feel as if I’m talking to someone like Mira.
“I don’t want this,” I say, shaking my head. Tears form in my eyes.
She surprises me by taking my hand. “Cadence, I’m sorry. I’m sorry our coven hurt you. I really am. I’m so sorry. But we knew we hurt Maddie. That was why Bryce and I made sure the same didn’t happen to you. I’ve asked you to trust me. No longer do I come to you as a professor. I am here as the High Priestess of our coven. As your sister. I’m asking you to come back…to me. Please come back to me, Cadence.”
I don’t say anything. I put my arm up as if to push her away, as if I’m pushing away a demon. I shake my head and jump from my chair.
Alondra doesn’t run after me. I don’t look back, but I don’t hear her.
I run for it.
As I make it quickly down the escalator, I see Bryce. He’s near the library exit. He sees me and looks concerned.
I fall in his arms and weep. I don’t care if anyone’s watching. I cry. I feel so confused.
See, the thing is, I still like Alondra the Witch. I feel drawn to her. But I also hate her. I hate her for everything she’s put me through. She’s even admitted to being evil. Am I evil?
But I like her.
Bryce holds me and whispers into my ear, “Can I take you home?”
I nod.
We run out between the glass doors.
It’s pouring outside even though it’s eighty degrees. It’s dark because of the fog, and a yellow glow radiates from the lights lining the sidewalk. As the water rushes down my long hair, it mixes with my tears. I’m still in Bryce’s arms, crying. One hand is clutching me tightly while the other is hopelessly trying to shield me from the rain. Neither of us has an umbrella this time—there was barely a cloud in the sky before I came to the library. So we’re rushing down the cement sidewalk to the parking lot. Even though Bryce grasps me tightly, he’s letting me guide him. He seems willing to let me take him wherever I want. I don’t know where he parked—I don’t really care.
Then I trip and fall to the ground. I’m not sure if it was a crack in the pavement or if I’m just too distraught. It feels like my world is collapsing again. I thought I was done with her—with him. But I called Bryce. I brought him back. Why does Alondra surprise me so much? I should have known she would follow me.
Bryce helps me up. In the parking lot he points out his used gray BMW, parked only a handful of steps away. There aren’t a lot of cars parked here—we’re a long way from the next major exam. But I don’t go to his car. He tries to guide me to his BMW, but I don’t want to go.
I turn toward my dormitory and run down the grassy hill. Bryce takes my arm and follows me without saying anything.
Even the main drag of campus is empty tonight. I want to go home. Do I? No, not really. I don’t know what I want to do. Or where I want to go.
So I do something weird. I walk off the path into the trees. And Bryce is still latched on to me, trying to comfort me. I hear him saying it’s going to be okay. Is it? How? How can it be okay? But I just nod.
It doesn’t take long to get lost in the woods. Bryce doesn’t object, and he takes out his cell phone as a flashlight. I’m still crying.
I see Maverick. I see him on nearly every corner between the trees. Flashes of his glimmering eyes between the leaves, then through the branches. The tall trees surround me and comfort me. They’re like Bryce’s arms, embracing me. And for a moment, I forget that Bryce is even holding me.
There’s no more path. We’re walking through bushes. I’m wearing boots, but I think Bryce is wearing dress shoes. It’s muddy. Sometimes I feel like I’m trudging through snow. Then I feel Bryce’s arm. He’s still holding me. Why? Why is he doing that?
I realize I don’t need him. I have the forest. The forest is my comfort. I don’t need anybody.
The moon shines through the clouds, lighting our way. Then we walk toward a clearing. The rain is pouring down now, drenching my long black hair and dress. Bryce has finally let go of me. He’s standing in the shadows beside a tree—I can’t see his expression. I’m guessing he thinks I’m mad. Am I?
I stretch out my arms and tilt my head back. The rain is now dripping straight into my mouth and over my chest. My mascara is running as the rain pelts my face, but I don’t brush it off. I stretch, arching my back as I lean back. Then I laugh. I laugh and my laughter seems to spread throughout the field, as if echoing everywhere around the trees that circle the grass. The thick trunks of oak trees circle me. They hold me just like Bryce was holding me. I’m crying now, but I’m laughing too. And I recognize this place—it’s the plateau I once ran to, the highest point around Hawthorne University.
It’s a wild grassy knoll surrounded by tall trees. At the center is charred wood from past pyres built by my family of witches. I stand near the charred logs and stretch myself far back again, letting the water drip down my chest, stomach, and waist. My dress is now drenched.
Then I see the familiar brown-skinned boy in suspenders standing beside Escoba. It’s the first time I see Escoba, but I recognize her immediately. She’s wearing a bandana, a bright ornate necklace and a long dark dress. Her smile is welcoming.
Their ghosts are not frightening. Rather, the presence of my ancestors soothes me.
Then I see Bryce. He walks over cautiously. His short black hair is soaking wet. His formal button-down is as wet as a bathing suit. And the whole thing seems more like a dream than reality. Thunder strikes. Then lightning bursts forth, casting my shadow along the grass. Bryce seems scared. And I can finally see Maverick’s face, and he looks frightened too. Frightened of what? Of me?
Bryce is beside me.
“Cadence, I’ll take you home,” he says to me. “We need to go home.”
I shake my head. I run my hand through my hair, and it feels as wet as if I just left the shower. I suddenly feel stifled in my wet clothes.
Bryce has his hand stretched out to take me home. I grab it, and then I kiss it. Then I look into his eyes—those mesmerizing blue eyes. But he looks confused.
He tugs at me again, but I pull the other way. I just stand in the hot pouring rain. Then I pull him closer. I run my hand through his hair. Then I bring my lips to his. He gasps and shakes his head, but I refuse to let him go. I won’t let him go.
“Cadence,” he says, finally pulling away from me. But I bring him right back into a tight embrace. I unbutton his shirt. He stops me.
“You’re wet,” I say. “Take it off.”
“It’s raining. We have to go.”
I yank on each button and one pops off his shirt. Then I pull the shirt off his back. His T-shirt is taken off even more quickly. I run my hand along the wet hairs of his chest as the rain falls. Then I grasp him close again, kissing him, moving my tongue into his mouth.
Next my dress goes over my head. He’s now desperately tugging at my arm, telling me we have to leave. I shake my head. I am only in a black bra and matching panties. But the water is hot. He keeps pulling me to leave the field so we can go home. I keep laughing and pulling him closer.
The thunder cracks again. Then lightning illuminates my whole body. Bryce’s eyes get large, looking at me, and that makes me hungrier.
I yank his pants down and he holds me tightly as we stand close together. Between kisses, he’s still pleading to leave—I think. But the words coming from his mouth contradict his actions. I feel as if we’re in a warm pool, the water crashing over our bodies. It’s so soothing.
I take off my bra. My breasts fall, and I can feel the curves touching the hairs of his arms. Then I remove my panties. He leans his head against my forehead and runs his hand along those curves. The other hand is grasping the crack of my ass. My nipples are hard and he plays with them between two fingers.
He’s naked now. I can feel his long cock against my naked hip.
I want it. I want it so badly. I want him to enter me.
I am a virgin. In high school, I was in a heated embrace like this in the back of a boy’s car, but I never let him enter me. Now I want to be entered. I want to be fucked. I want the pouring rain to wash over me while Bryce fucks me. Just like when I was on mandrake. But now I want him to fuck me so hard that I forget about everything. I just want him to fuck me in the fields, under the moonlit trees, in the pouring rain—letting the water wash over me, washing away all my problems.
We fall to the grass, and we’re sitting, naked, in an embrace. I’m laughing again. He’s not. His eyes are very serious. He still looks frightened by my transformation and my desire. I straddle his lap. Then I run my hands over his hair and kiss him all over his face. I touch his hard cock. He has a condom. I don’t know where it came from and when he got it on, but it’s there. I guide him inside me. It hurts at first, but I don’t care about pain. Soon it feels incredible and satisfies my hunger.
He’s not asking to leave anymore. Oh no, he’s not saying a damn thing. He’s slowly bobbing my nude body up and down with his thick, strong arms. And it’s careful and serene—it’s Bryce. And as ravenous as I feel, his kindness and care drive me even more. But I’m too wild. I’m too untamed. I’m an animal in the woods. So I bounce up and down, riding him. It hurts again. I still don’t care. Mud and water splash under his buttocks as the rain pours over us. I look down into his eyes. He looks as if he’s worried he’ll break me. It’s so nice. So Bryce. It drives me even harder.
The lightning flashes again. I see a deer behind the trees. A flash of lightning lights up the animal’s eyes. Is it a deer? A cougar? A wolf? The eyes shine white. The animal is staring at us and looks afraid.
Then I turn to my lover. He’s staring at me too. I can see his eyes, flashing with the bursts of lightning. Bryce looks fearful too. But he mesmerizes me with his stare as we make love, naked, in the field. He caresses my breasts and runs his hands along my wet, dripping back. I move my hips up and down on his cock. He moans.
This is when I finally realize what we’re doing. We’re sitting together, entwined in each other’s arms—naked and drenched—in the middle of a grassy knoll surrounded by oak trees—fucking. It’s as if nature is our coven. The trees surround us like witches around a pyre. They seem to move in a circle around us.
The pleasure is beyond any imagination. I am fucking Bryce. He’s not fucking me. I am fucking him in the rain in the forest. Why? Was it a spell? Did Alondra bewitch me? Or is it my spell? Did I conjure this? I don’t know. But I relish holding and touching him and wish it would never end.
The rain pours harder and I push into him harder. I feel him deep inside me. I have his hair entwined in my hands, and I’m pulling it as he pushes into me. Our lips meet again, and we lick and taste each other’s tongues as I bob up and down on him, again and again.
Do I love this man? He cares about me—that much is certain. I am so alone, but Bryce is here and he cares about me.
And I’m not alone. I have the grass, the trees, the breeze, the forest. I have the Earth. And I realize that when I walked through the forest in my Wandering, I wasn’t alone then either. I feel like I’ll never be alone again.
“Oh, Cadence.”
There’s an earthen smell mixed with his cologne and my perfume. I smell mud. Then I hear our naked bodies slapping against the water and dirt below him. I slam down harder. And I can feel the wind, oddly cold, under the pummeling drops of hot water.
I finally feel him climax inside me. It makes me jerk over him in a rush of pleasure. I cry out, moaning. We roll on our sides in the wild grass, my heart racing and the two of us breathing heavily. He’s still holding me tightly in his warm embrace.
And then…I cry.
I’m as surprised as he is. I don’t know why I’m crying. I don’t feel sad. I feel confused.
“Cadence, what’s the matter? Why are you crying?”
“Because it’s raining.”
He clutches me more tightly. On one side, I feel the sticks and mud against my naked body; on the other, I feel Bryce. He wants to get up, but I pull him back down. I want him to cover me. To stay with me.
It is sin. It’s a baptism of sex under pouring rain. My virginity has been taken in this way because of who I am, because of what I am. I am a witch.
30
Lattes
It’s Tuesday morning at eight thirty. Maddie and I are drinking together in the university coffeehouse. I tell her I want to drink inside so she doesn’t steal anything. I have my laptop on the table. I was reading a passage on the construction of the Panama Canal before Maddie arrived. Maddie doesn’t have anything in her hands. She’s a known procrastinator. I’ve never known her to study until the night before a test. Except when she was in Alondra’s class.
She’s looking out the window at the lawn. There’s something really morose and depressing about her. It’s very unlike her. It’s hot today. The coffeehouse is busy. I’m wearing a white lace summer skirt. Maddie has on shorts and a T-shirt. I see her looking at three boys at a nearby table. They’re not looking at her. She could probably attract any of them if she tried, but I think she told me she’s back with Nick. Is that what the doom and gloom is about? Nick?
“So…” I pause. I’ve been preparing how I’m going to broach the subject. Now I feel stupid about the whole thing. Of course my best friend has known me long enough to know something’s on my mind.
“Do tell,” Maddie says with a smile and a sip of her cup of Joe.
I look around as if it’s a big secret. Of course no one can hear. The coffeehouse is packed. We were lucky to grab this small table after another couple left.
I lean forward. “I had sex last night.”
Maddie giggles. She finally brightens up. “And …”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“And …”
“And what?”
“Yeah,” Maddie says. “And what?”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, Cadence.” Maddie is still laughing. I lose my smile. I feel like she’s making fun of me.
“It …” I bite my upper lip and shrug. “It was my first time.”
Maddie gives me a funny look for a second. She stops laughing.
“That is sooo sweet, Kate.” She’s suddenly very thoughtful. She sips from her paper cup and touches my arm. “Sorry. I forgot. It was Bryce, right?”
