Whiskey smoke, p.7
Whiskey Smoke, page 7
That night, he came by Gran’s and asked to talk to me. I didn’t want to talk to him, but I’d been raised to be polite. I went on the front porch and sat on the steps. He sat beside me and began to explain that he wanted a family one day. His last name would only be carried out by him, seeing as they only had girls in his family, except for him. That he had to plan for the future and he was afraid he’d fall in love with me.
It was then that my heart broke. Not because of Brent. I wasn’t in love with him. It broke because I realized in that moment that my life was going to be full of this. Not being enough. I couldn’t get pregnant. Not with my heart. It was too dangerous.
Brent had gotten tears in his eyes that night and told me he would never want another girl as much as he wanted me.
After that, I never agreed to another date with anyone. I kept to myself for the most part. Read my romance novels and didn’t attempt to think about one day falling in love or being loved. I was broken. I’d been broken my entire life. Pretending otherwise would only cause me more pain in the end.
“It’s almost four. I think we can get away with having margaritas,” Trinity announced, walking out to the pool with several stemmed glasses and a pitcher full of what I assumed was margaritas.
“Absolutely!” Shiloh replied, beaming.
Shiloh belonged to Gage—and when I said belonged, it was exactly what I meant. Maybe he belonged to her. I wasn’t sure, but the possessiveness and sexual energy coming off those two was off the charts. When he’d left earlier, I’d felt like I needed to fan myself after their goodbye. The way he had looked at her like he survived for her alone made me envious. That was something I’d never experience.
“I called Maddy, but she’s with Fawn and Gypsi, doing wedding preparation stuff,” Trinity said.
“We really need to get Gypsi and Fawn over here. Maddy is the only one who has really gotten to bond with them,” Shiloh said.
Trinity turned to me. “Garrett Hughes is engaged to Fawn, and Gypsi is her daughter but dating Trev, the youngest Hughes son. Blaise, the oldest son, is married to Maddy,” she informed me, then laughed. “That’s a lot of information. When you meet them, it’ll be easier to keep it all straight.”
I wasn’t positive I was following her, or maybe she’d already had some margaritas and gotten confused. “Did you mean to say that Garrett’s youngest son is dating his soon-to-be stepsister?”
Shiloh and Trinity giggled, then said, “Yep,” in unison.
“The boys tease him about it daily. Gage especially,” Shiloh told me.
Trinity took a glass and poured the margarita into it, then handed it to me. I took it, staring at it, unsure. I’d never had a drink before. Gran hadn’t kept alcohol, and Irish had been worried about me drinking it with my heart. I didn’t want to be rude or point out my heart condition, so I decided I’d sip it slowly. One glass couldn’t hurt.
Shiloh took her glass and leaned back in the lounger. She wasn’t as tanned as Trinity, but her skin tone had more color than mine. It went perfectly with her long black hair, blue eyes that reminded me of the sky, and one singular dimple when she smiled. While Shiloh’s appearance made me feel intimidated, her personality brought me in. Made me want to get to know her. She was friendly, funny, and easy to talk to. With her sunglasses pulled down and her skin glistening with the tanning oil, she reminded me of a bikini model.
“This is delicious,” Shiloh told Trinity.
Trinity was less intimidating in looks. She was beautiful, sure, but she didn’t have the exotic, stunning look that Shiloh had. Trinity was curvy with dark brown hair, a heart-shaped face, almond-shaped brown eyes, and, well, the boob and butt fairies had been good to her.
I owned one bathing suit. It was a white bikini that my sister had given me. Gran had never approved of swimming, so I hadn’t owned a bathing suit. The bikini I owned was one that Irish had bought online, and she’d said it had more fabric than she liked. My sister had had not one shy bone in her body. She’d liked to show it off too.
White on my pale skin made me feel like a glowing white orb, but I also hadn’t wanted to turn down the chance to make friends. While they were tanning, I was wearing sunblock that I never went anywhere without and staying under the umbrella that covered the table.
I took a small sip of the margarita, and it did taste good. I hadn’t imagined alcohol would taste like this. There was a lot I didn’t know. Things I had thought I’d learn from Irish, but we’d only had such a short time together. My chest ached, and I tried not to think about her.
“How long will the boys be gone?” Shiloh asked.
“Huck didn’t say for sure. I know it’s college football game day, but the party is being held over at the shop. Huck doesn’t want it here this weekend. He said he would ride back with Gage. Levi and Kye are keeping the SUV at the shop.”
Trinity turned to look at me. “We could have a movie night here. With Levi and Kye gone for the evening, we can take over the living room. I make really good homemade pizza. My cauliflower crust is the best.”
“Okay, if you’re making cauliflower crust, I’m going to have to convince Gage to give me up for a couple of hours,” Shiloh piped in.
Levi wasn’t going to be here. I tried not to panic. I would be fine. I couldn’t rely on him at night.
This morning, it had been clear that he was uncomfortable about the way we’d woken up. I could barely breathe. Having his hard, warm body wrapped around me, only being able to smell the whiskey smoke scent that clung to him, his hot breath against my skin—the things tingling in my body were wonderful and startling, all at once.
Then, he’d gotten away from me as fast as possible. I worried that meant no more sleeping in his bed when I had nightmares. They couldn’t last forever though. At some point, I had to get over them.
“Do you have a movie preference?” Trinity asked me, and I snapped out of obsessing over Levi.
“Uh, well, Gran didn’t let me watch television. We didn’t have one. But I did watch several TV series when I moved in with my sister.” I stopped. There I was, making myself sound like a weirdo. Why had I had to tell them that? I could have said romantic comedy or something.
Trinity slipped her sunglasses up and looked at me. “Are you telling me you are a movie virgin?”
I’d never heard it called that, but I nodded.
The grin that broke out on her face made her eyes dance with excitement. “Oh my God. We are going to have so much fun. I don’t even know where to start!”
“Pretty Woman,” Shiloh said matter-of-factly. “You made me watch that one when you realized it was something I didn’t remember, and I loved it.”
“That’s a good one, but I was thinking Top Gun or The Breakfast Club. You remember those, don’t you?”
“Yes, I’ve seen those. Pretty Woman or Clueless,” Shiloh replied.
Trinity laughed, sitting up and grabbing her phone. “We need a list. The Best Movies Ever list.”
“The Notebook!” Shiloh said. “It has to be The Notebook! I think I made Gage watch that five times after you had me watch it.”
“YES! And Titanic,” Trinity added.
“The Princess Bride … and, ohmygod, Dirty Dancing. I love that one.”
“Love Actually, Bridget Jones’s Diary, Ghost—oh! And Gone with the Wind!”
I realized I was smiling, watching the two of them get so excited over this. Irish had been more annoyed by my lack of movie knowledge. Not at me, but at Gran.
“I’ve read some of those. I read a lot.”
Trinity looked up from her phone at me. “Did you read The Notebook?”
I nodded.
“That one killed me. I sobbed for days.”
“Me too.” Although not because of the way it ended. Because it was another example of a fierce, all-consuming love I’d never get a chance to have.
“Bridget Jones’s Diary was a great book too,” Shiloh added. “I read the book first, not knowing there was a movie.”
That was odd. I’d not seen the movie, but even I had known there was a movie. It was well known.
“I think Gone with the Wind beats them all in the book division.”
Trinity frowned. “I have never read that one. Watched the movie several times. I need to get it on my Kindle.”
“I have it upstairs if you want to borrow it. I mean, the physical book,” I told her.
“Yes! Please,” she replied.
We went on like this for another thirty minutes. They added movies I needed to watch, and I gave them books they needed to read. It was hands down the best time I’d had with friends in my life.
“There is entirely too much laughing and fun being had out here,” a male voice drawled.
I didn’t have to turn to know it was Gage by the way Shiloh’s face lit up.
“How can it be this damn fun without me?”
Shiloh bit her lip and looked at the man like she wanted to lick his body from top to bottom. I felt myself blush, watching her.
“We are making a list of movies that Aspen needs to watch, and she’s telling us books we need to read,” Shiloh told him as he bent down and scooped her up into his arms with a growl.
“I love you all oily and hot,” he said loud enough for everyone to hear.
“Take it to your fucking house,” Huck grumbled as he stepped outside. “Hey, baby,” he said in a softer, huskier voice, which had Trinity giving him that completely infatuated smile.
“I missed you,” she said, moving up to her knees as he came and pulled her to him, grabbing handfuls of her butt.
Wow. Didn’t need to see that.
Feeling awkward, I started to stand and make my escape.
“Nope, don’t go!” Trinity called out. “I promise we won’t get gross.”
“I don’t fucking promise shit,” Huck said, kissing her neck.
She laughed and swatted at his arm. “We have a movie night with cauliflower crust pizza planned,” she told him.
He pulled back and looked down at her. “Tonight?”
She nodded.
He looked actually pained.
“Uh, no, we can do it another night. There is a television in the room I’m in. I can watch Netflix in there,” I said.
Trinity shook her head at me, then looked back at Huck. It looked like they were having a silent conversation.
“If Shiloh is involved in this movie night, she’s gonna have to go back to the house with me right now. I’ve been thinking about this hot piece of ass all fucking day, and I need her for a bit,” Gage called out.
Huck finally sighed. “Yeah, okay, but first, downstairs.” His tone sounded like a demand, and she shivered, then bit her bottom lip before standing up. He slapped her bottom hard, making her squeal. “You wear bottoms like that, and you’re gonna get spanked.”
I was torn between watching this because I’d never seen relationships like these before or running away because I felt so out of place and in the way.
“Meet me in the kitchen in an hour!” Trinity called out to me.
“Two hours,” Huck corrected her.
“Okay,” I replied.
“I’ll be back later,” Shiloh said.
I heard Gage make some sexy, deep sound in his chest, and I took that as my cue to get the heck up to my room.
I picked up my glass and went to the kitchen. I poured the margarita down the sink, then washed the glass before heading upstairs. Two hours would give me time to shower and get on some comfy clothes for tonight.
My thoughts kept going to what the others were doing. Gage and Huck had both looked like they couldn’t wait to get their women alone. The excitement and anticipation on Trinity’s and Shiloh’s faces had only told me whatever it was they were going to be doing was extremely enjoyable.
I really needed a new romance book to read. It would help me deal with my lack of sexual excitement and relationship. Falling in love with the men on the pages I read was almost a good close second. But I had nothing to compare it to, so what did I know?
Thirteen
Levi
I wasn’t staying for the entire game. I knew Kye wanted to share the blonde he’d brought tonight, but I had already had Stella, one of the new strippers at Devils, bounce on my cock. Then, she took me back to the conference room and begged me to spank her with my belt. I’d given her thirty lashes and a bright red ass. Getting my sexual frustration out was my goal. I’d been wound up all damn day, thinking about how good Aspen had felt in bed this morning.
My cock twitched to life again when I thought about it. Fuck, maybe I needed to go fuck the blonde with Kye after all. It was getting late though, and I was worrying over the fact that I’d left Aspen all day. When I had texted Trinity to ask about Aspen, Trinity had assured me that she was doing great. Shiloh had come over, and the three of them had sat around the pool, talking. Knowing Aspen was in a bikini was also a reason I hadn’t gone back.
That was shit I couldn’t handle.
The blonde was currently bent over the back counter while Kye pumped into her and watched the game at the same time. He’d already had her in his lap, fucking him. Maybe he had the right idea. Just keep fucking until my dick didn’t get hard when I thought about Aspen all pressed up against me this morning.
My phone dinged, and I pulled it out, looking down at the text.
Huck: Girls fell asleep in the living room, watching a movie. I just took Trinity downstairs, and Gage came and got Shiloh. You or Kye can get Aspen when you get here. She’s on the sectional.
Fuck. She was downstairs alone, sleeping. What if she had a nightmare? I glanced back at Kye and decided to just take the extra bike home. He wasn’t going to be done anytime soon.
I hurried out the back and headed to the house. I shouldn’t have stayed out so late. But I also shouldn’t be so damn worked up over her either. I was getting too damn protective, but, fuck, she was fragile and alone. She needed someone. Those beautiful, sad eyes of hers haunted me.
I headed inside the house and walked quietly into the living room. Aspen looked as if she hadn’t stirred. No twisted covers. Her hands were tucked under her cheek, and the damn tightness in my chest was pissing me off.
I didn’t want to wake her, so I pulled the blanket back and lifted her up into my arms, holding her against my chest before heading for the stairs. She curled into me, pressing her nose to my shirt and sighing.
Jesus Christ, stop that.
As I climbed the stairs, her hand splayed over my chest, and she began to fucking feel me up. The sooner I got her in her bed, the better.
Pushing her door open with my foot, I walked inside, glad the lights were off, and laid her on the bed. The moment I started to let her go, her eyes opened, and she looked at me. Shit.
“It’s okay. Just putting you in bed. Go back to sleep,” I said softly.
She let her hands slide away from me and kept watching me.
Leave the room, Levi.
She was fine. She would go back to sleep.
I started to turn.
“Levi.” She said my name in that sleepy voice of hers, and I wanted to groan in frustration.
“Yeah?” I asked her.
She licked her lips as she looked at me nervously. “Do you think … maybe I could … have one of your shirts that you’ve worn recently? Just to sleep in.”
My shirts?
“Why?”
She had plenty of those little satiny shorts that looked entirely too sexy on her.
“I just … I thought maybe … if I smelled you, then I might sleep better—you know, maybe not have a nightmare.”
I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. Fucking hell. Dammit, why did she say shit like that?
Opening my eyes, I stared down at her, and the fear in her eyes was all I could handle. She was terrified of having another nightmare.
Fuck. I bent back down, scooped her up, and headed to my room with her. Not once did she question me or even squirm. A woman who was trying to manipulate me to get in my bed would be rubbing against me, kissing on my neck, doing shit to turn me on. Aspen barely breathed; she was so still. Why was her fucking innocence turning me on? I liked to beat women’s asses and call them sluts. Tell them they were dirty whores who got their cunts wet because they wanted me to be their daddy. Shit like that.
Aspen would never be able to handle me. I put her on the side she’d started on last night, then covered her up. She stayed still and said not one fucking word. No flirty smile. Nothing. Just those big-ass eyes watching me, unsure.
I sighed and brushed some hair out of her face. “Until you feel like you can sleep without having nightmares, you can sleep with me,” I told her. “If I’m not home when you go to bed, just go ahead and get in my bed.”
She pressed her lips together, and gratitude flickered in her gaze, but so did admiration.
Sweetheart, don’t do that, I thought. You don’t know me. Don’t give me that worshipful look. If you truly knew me, you wouldn’t look so damn happy to be in my bed.
The ceremony was difficult. I watched Aspen cry while the retired minister, who had been at the Baptist church when Irish and Aspen were growing up, spoke about her. He talked about heaven as if he was sure that was where she was. When he finished, he hugged Aspen and whispered something to her. Probably told her to get the fuck out of this house and that we were all going to hell. But then again, for the amount he’d been paid to come here, he’d better not say a word to upset her.
I watched as Aspen walked over to the urn with her sister’s ashes and the framed photographs of Irish, which she had taken from an album in the things she had in her room, and she spoke softly to her sister.
