I emerged from the bathroom to find Albert sitting on our bed in a pair of blue sweatpants. I felt silly in my frilly nightgown. The purple silk felt absolutely ridiculous. I’d just killed a man. My hair was still a wet, tangled mess, and I had just finished clearing the smudged eyeshadow from my face. I smelled like roses, but only because I’d had to dump the body wash all over me to scrub away the blood.

  He must have showered in the other bathroom because he was no longer covered in blood and dirt. His hair was back to being an assortment of jumbled curls that looked lazy as they fell against his forehead. His eyes, though tainted by the horror of what we had experienced, were still a deep, mysterious ocean. At that moment, I wanted to become a part of him. I no longer cared what was healthy or if this was insane. Albert was all I could see.

  He looked up at me with a gaze that seemed to penetrate my body. Everything about him seemed more intense than usual. His lips were pursed in a tight line that held anxiety. Albert looked as if he might fall apart. I was glimpsing the very carefully crafted shell that surrounded his heart.

  I sat down on the bed beside him. Suddenly, I was aware of so much. His shoulders were far more shaped than I had once thought. The jaw that held up his smirk was firm and strong above his neck. His chest, while pale and stone-like, was more toned than most. Though he wasn’t smiling, his arms seemed to invite me in. I leaned over to place my head against his shoulder.

  Without hesitation, he wrapped his arms around me. I felt his strong hands press against my waist as he pulled me closer. Unexpectedly, tears began to drip down my cheeks. I’d thought I blocked the emotion out. I wanted to be able to deal with this in the morning. It would take me so long to process everything that had happened in just a few short days. But as I felt the protective press of his chest against mine, I knew it was okay. I was sure I didn’t have to be strong because he was strong for me.

  In most cases, I liked to feel in control. It was easier to pretend I was the one in power. But with Albert, I was okay with just existing. The fact that I was alive, at least kind of, was enough. He didn’t ask me to be perfect or even extraordinary. All he wanted was for me to be able to relax in his arms. Albert thrived on taking care of me. I wished I’d realized it earlier.

  “It’s not your fault,” he said in a gentle tone.

  “I feel like it is,” I mumbled into his chest.

  He sighed. “I know.”

  The tears kept dripping from my eyes. “I saw his eyes before I stabbed him. I won’t ever be able to forget the way he looked at me.”

  “You did the right thing,” Albert whispered.

  “Did I?” I asked.

  His fingers bored into my hips. “He was killing people, Anne.”

  I bit my lip. “I’ve killed people, too.”

  Albert shook his head. “He was too dangerous.”

  “I’m a monster,” I cried.

  He placed a gentle kiss on my hair. “You are not a monster.”

  “How am I any better than him?” I asked in a hushed tone.

  Albert took a deep breath. “You try so hard. Anne, you love people. Without a moment’s hesitation, you took Penny as your own. James had something wrong with him. His lack of empathy was like a disease. He didn’t feel anything. James took human life carelessly. Anne, you feel so much that I sometimes worry the heaviness might tear you apart. You don’t want to hurt anyone. James wasn’t like that. Maybe he was as a human, but not as a vampire.”

  “I’m scared,” I whispered. “What if I can never forget it?”

  He squeezed me. “You won’t be able to forget it, love. Your heart is too big for that. In time, you’ll come to live with it. Tonight, another woman gets to live because James won’t be there to destroy her. Another teenage boy gets to go home because Darcey won’t be able to kill him. That’s the legacy today’s actions have left.”

  We laid there in silence for several more minutes. I just wanted to mesh into him. There was so much I had to make sense of. For once, there seemed nothing I could do. I couldn’t go apologize to James’s body. It didn’t exist. In fact, there was nothing left of him. No grave, no coffin, no headstone. All I could do was remember his emerald eyes. But when I imagined them, I saw the way he’d looked at me before I killed him. Nothing was peaceful.

  “I love you,” I whispered.

  Albert smiled softly. “I love you, too.”

  I leaned up against him to press a kiss to his lips. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized how perfect he was for me. Albert was the steadiness I needed. Regardless of how reckless he appeared, he was grounded. Albert leaned back and pulled me down against him. He placed gentle kisses along my jaw. I breathed him in, smelling nothing but soap and salt.

  My fingers traced his curls while his hands stroked my back. I wanted his love. Because after all of it, I’d found the one for me. This crazy love triangle was over. Albert was all-consuming. He didn’t give me a moment to be distracted from his love.

  I wanted this to be forever. With Albert, I could live semi-peacefully as an immortal. There was nothing stronger than my desire to be tied to him. I wanted to become so closely linked that we could never be separated. Albert was my choice. I would choose him over and over again until one day when we became so attached there was nothing to think about. He was going to be the love of my life. That was the role I was placing him in. This man that had once made me feel insecure and doubtful was now the only one I wanted. Albert held every part of me that I could possibly give away. And it was okay because I knew he would take care of me.

  So in that moment, I let it all fall away. I didn’t want to fight anymore. This natural love was too strong to deny. We were exactly right for each other. It was a true, deep desire for happiness that brought us together in this swirl of need. My desire to have more of him would never end, and that was exactly how I wanted it.

  Chapter Sixteen — Sweet Farewell

  Penny rested gently in my arms as I rocked her in the low morning light. Her soft blonde hair was glowing in the sunlight. When she was sleeping, she looked like a doll. Her tiny fingers and toes fascinated me. How could anything be so small? What made her so angelic? I was still processing the knowledge that I’d become a mother. The concept was strange. I wished I’d had nine months to prepare.

  James was dead. I didn’t like thinking about it. The words couldn’t seem to escape my mouth. No matter how hard I tried, it was almost impossible to acknowledge it. I felt like he might walk into the room at any moment. It had started to feel like a dream. The whole event was like a nightmare I couldn’t get over. His face seemed to be in the corner of my vision, no matter where I looked. Would I ever get past it? Was it possible to forget killing a man you’d loved? There weren’t many people I could ask about it. After all, it wasn’t a particularly common experience.

  Albert seemed to be giving me my space. He was working a lot but always accessible. He wasn’t going out as much as normal. Actually, he hadn’t spent even one evening away. Every night he was with me. I needed him, too. The girls were preoccupied with Roy and Arthur. They hadn’t handled the loss of their sister well. Of course, how could they? There was no easy way to deal with trauma so terrible. Albert and I were focusing almost all our energy on Penny. She occupied our time. Taking care of her was the distraction I needed.

  Still, Albert and I had the chance to enjoy a few stolen moments. They were the moments when all I could see were his eyes. When he kissed me, I wanted to disappear into his arms. Sometimes I just wanted to melt into him. The concept gave me a warm feeling in my abdomen. It was a familiar tingling at this point. I had stopped being surprised by the reaction that Albert’s name elicited within me. He was just that right for me. I had more chemistry with him than I’d thought was possible. For so long, I hadn’t known that two people could be so thoroughly linked together. He was my new definition of romance.

  “I’m home,” he whispered from the door.

  I smiled slightly without turning around. Within a moment, his arms were around my waist. I leaned my head back against his shoulder as his lips planted soft kisses along my neck. A small sigh escaped my lips as he nuzzled his head against mine.

  “I love you,” he whispered.

  “I love you too,” I murmured back.

  When I opened my eyes, I froze. James was standing right in front of me. I clutched Penny to my chest. My breathing had stopped altogether. James’s green eyes were right before me. He said nothing yet stared at me with an intensity stronger than I imagined possible. He was the human James. This version of him had soft, silky skin. His hair was combed back in the organized fashion he’d always preferred. And his smile, it was gorgeous.

  My body had tensed so much that Albert had noticed. “What’s wrong?” Albert asked.

  James smiled softly before lifting a finger to his lips. He shook his head and blew me a small kiss. My throat had grown tight. My whole body was on edge. It seemed that the world had become still. Penny was still motionless in my arms. Albert was waiting for my response.

  James didn’t want me to tell him, though. I could honor that, at least. I’d failed to keep him alive, but at least I could give him this one small thing. In that moment, he was my James. This was the human boy I’d been in love with, not the blood-drunk vampire running around on a killing spree. His smile widened again as he realized I was going to grant his request.

  “Anne?” Albert asked.

  I didn’t know what was going on. Was I hallucinating? Was I dreaming? Were ghosts real? Nothing was out of the realm of possibility. After all, I was a vampire. Whatever it was—whatever James was—I was glad he was here. Just his small smile was enough to ease the heaviness within me. His spirit was comforting me. He was relieving me and assuring us both that it was all right. It gave me a small smile. We weren’t in love, but we shared memories. It was a bond that ensured our permanent connection.

  “It’s nothing,” I replied with a gentle smile. “Everything’s fine.”

  Chapter Seventeen — To Our Forever

  My new desk was made from dark wood and delicately shaped as if it had come from a historical exhibit. There were wooden pens with intricate designs carved into them and stationary decorated with flowered corners. Albert had stocked it with everything I could possibly need for letter writing.

  I was writing another letter to James. I’d written one when he was in his transition. Of course, he’d never read it. The letter was still hidden away down in Texas. James would never receive this letter, either. I had a habit of writing letters to people who would never read them. They were more for me than anyone else. My words held secrets, confessions, and dreams. These letters were phrases whispered that could never be heard.

  This letter was just one piece of the puzzle needed to stitch my life back together. I had to mumble the words in some way, even if it wasn’t out loud. James and I had a long history of hushed phrases. This letter would just be another one of them. I was really going to have to start a journal. It might work a little better.

  James,

  I’m sorry. I really, truly regret what happened to you. Maybe loving you was right, or maybe it was terribly wrong. Either way, it led to this. You’re dead. You’re actually dead this time. It’s not temporary. In fact, it feels very, very real.

  I’m not sure what I regret. All of this led to where I am. I’m a new person, James. And I know you’re finally at peace. I saw that familiar, human smile. Whatever happened to you, it made you happy again. Your humanity is back. I hope you are in a peaceful place. That’s what I wish for you.

  I have no idea how long this immortal life will last, but I may see you again. I’m not sure how it’ll work, but maybe you’ll come back. I’d like to see you live a human life. You should have fallen in love with a normal girl, gotten married, and had kids. That’s what I wanted your life to look like.

  Eventually, there might be a chance for you to have what you deserve. If somehow you come back, I want you to find me again. Just to say hello, or maybe goodbye. Either would be fine. We could part on positive terms. Because no matter what, I’ll never be able to forget the memory of us. I don’t feel the same way anymore. I’m completely in love with Albert. But even in a hundred years, I’ll still remember you.

  Some things can’t be eliminated. The feel of your touch will fade into a million little pieces of sensation that I’ll lose. But the sensation of your name on my tongue won’t go away. Not love, just companionship. You made me feel joy again.

  Have a peaceful forever, James. I’ll remember you for the rest of my life and my existence after that. You were a great love of my life.

  With love,

  Anne

  Albert was going to get a letter, too. He wasn’t going to read it, either. These letters were both going to be placed under our bed in a box that I wouldn’t open for at least ten years. After that, it might be a hundred more years before I opened it again. Maybe I’d stop opening it at some point. The box might get so dusty from neglect that I never wanted to touch it.

  But for this moment, these pages were what was helping me hold on. I needed these words. The chaos, the disaster, all of it could be transfused into a few pages. I couldn’t forget all of this, but I could write it down. Pouring my words onto the page helped me to remember how lucky I was that I was the woman who held Albert Jefferson’s heart.

  To the most important man in my life,

  Thank you. I am so glad you never gave up on me. Through all our challenges, you never stopped trying to show me your love. Now we get to experience a love that will last many lifetimes. And I’ll never be able to tell you how much I adore you.

  Thank you for loving me and for taking care of this. You gave me a life and helped create a family. I’ll happily live this immortal life with you because there’s no one I’d rather spend my time with. You are the best lover, the best man, and the best partner of my existence.

  We have Penny, our little girl. And there is nothing, no way I would prefer to spend the next eighteen years of my life than raising her with you. Who knows what she’ll decide to be. Maybe she’ll stay human and live a wonderful life. But if she decides to become an immortal, we’ll be with her every step of the way.

  We created a life for ourselves. I love you more than I can express. So, love, I’m going to be yours forever. We have the rest of our lives to experience the beauty of this world. I am so ready to become your wife and forever companion.

  Forever your love,

  Anne

  Chapter Eighteen — Eternal

  The moon was brighter than it normally seemed. Penny was in a little baby basket with a big bow in her hair. She was sleeping quietly with a contented smile on her face. I couldn’t stop admiring her sweet little features. I never wanted her to grow up. Why couldn’t she stay a baby for the rest of forever? Then we would never have to worry about what we’d do when she was older. But right now, I had to enjoy her innocence. For at least a few more years, she would still be a little girl.

  For the first time in days, I’d taken the time to do my hair. The curls that generally fell freely down were piled up in a bun upon my head. A sparkling silver pin tucked them together. Eyeliner and mascara highlighted my blue eyes. My lips were as red as a velvet cake. It was just another one of the days where I was positively sure I belonged in the live-action Snow White.

  My green dress was more frilly than I usually liked. Albert had picked it out. The lace framed my hips, waist, and chest. My favorite part was the boots, though. They were black velvet and tall enough that they reached my knees. My nails were the same deep green color. Albert had told me to dress up tonight. We were having dinner while Nina and Anya watched Penny.

  “The babysitters club has arrived,” Nina called from the door.

  I smiled before turning around. “Reporting for duty?”

  Anya grinned. “One of the best jobs I’ve ever had.”

  “Let’s hurry up, ladies,” Albert said from the bedroom door. “Reservations can’t be delayed.”

  Nina rolled her eyes. “He literally never stops.”

  “I heard that,” Albert responded.

  He walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I leaned my head back against his shoulder. His lips lightly grazed my neck. I laughed as his fangs slipped from his lips.

  “Okay, go,” Anya said. “Seeing you two like that is still weird.”

  Nina and Anya both laughed. Albert rolled his eyes as he took my hand and pulled me away from them. Nina winked at me, and Anya smirked as Albert closed the door.

  As soon as the lock slid shut, Albert pulled me against him. Our lips locked as we melted into each other. Albert’s hands found my waist as he let his fingers trace my hip bone.

  “We should go,” he whispered.

  “Right,” I replied.

  He gave me a tiny kiss before pulling me to the elevator. Albert’s face held a small smile as he tugged me along. I couldn’t help but laugh at the excited expression on his face.

  I was expecting to see a restaurant. But no, he drove me to the ocean. It was the same ocean where James had first kissed me, the same beach where I’d started this chaotic journey. And now, I sat staring at the waves with the love of my life.

  There was a blanket spread out with two glasses of blood atop it. Beside us was a bowl of cherries, lemons, and limes. Candles were set up in a circle around us. As I sipped from my glass, Albert laid his head against mine. We hadn’t talked very much. We’d grown comfortable just holding each other.

  “Anne,” he whispered.

  “Mhm,” I replied.

  I noticed a small box in his hand. I caught my breath. He smiled softly. Albert knew I understood what was going to happen. Our night had suddenly changed.

 

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