Perfect, p.1
Perfect, page 1
Perfect
Abby Woodland
Copyright
Copyright © 2004 by Abby Woodland
All rights reserved.
No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher or author, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
Perfect
. K
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Further Reading: The Place She Lies
To those who keep breaking the generational cycles, this one's for you.
Trigger Warnings: Assault, murder, drugs, alcohol, infidelity, and several other forms of abuse.
Also by
The Circus Black
Dolls Kill
The Place She Lies
While She Sleeps
Secrets in the Woods
Birchwood
The Raze
In the Mirror
The Dragon Keeper
The Fairwing School for Troubled Girls
Chapter 1
Kayla knew her mom had been drinking again. She could see the liquor bottles and smell the alcohol the second she walked into the house. There were wine bottles sitting next to vodka bottles, next to rum, next to her mom's unwashed, collapsed body on the couch. Kayla set her backpack down and took her mom's pulse. She was alive at least but stunk of sweat, alcohol, and unbrushed teeth. Every time her father had to 'work late' her mom would stay up and drink all night long. Kayla would come downstairs to find her mom passed out on the couch, clutching her wedding photo and watching her old pageant videos more often than not, mascara streaks on her face from crying herself to sleep and greasy hair stuck to the side of her face. Kayla's mom would tell her she watched the videos to prepare for their next win, but Kayla knew it was her wondering why her husband would trade a winning beauty queen for a plain, in her mother's opinion, secretary at his law firm.
Kayla cleared the bottles off the table so her younger brother, Chris wouldn't see them. He knew their mom drank but Kayla was good at pretending things were ok. Chris had been very young when their mom started drinking and Kayla was always trying to protect him from her and their father. It didn't work every time, but she still felt as though she had to try. Kayla went to the phone and called the babysitter who just happened to be a neighbor. It was an older woman named Kathy, who would watch their younger sister, Lily when their mom was out. Lily was only a few months old and Monday through Thursday, they had to get Kathy over there to care for both baby and mom while the kids were in school. Friday was different because their mom would sober up just in time for the weekend beauty pageants that happened and then Sunday night, go back to slamming down as much as she could 'in celebration' of whatever victory they won. Their dad never attended the pageants anymore as he would spend the work week sleeping around with his secretary, and then come home on the weekends when the house was empty, and sleep around with her at their place while 'taking care of' Lily since she was too young to go to the pageants with them. Kayla suspected he would drop her sister off at the babysitter's house instead of having Kathy come over, mainly so he could fool around all weekend, ignoring the fact that he already had a family that he refused to take care of.
Kayla knew her dad hated them all. He was never nice to them. He beat them profusely, constantly rubbed cheating on their mom in her face, and paraded around town like he owned everyone and everything. This just gave Kayla several more reasons to want to leave home. She couldn't wait for next year when she would be old enough to attend college. While she worried about her siblings, she knew it would be the best move for her to leave. Maybe one day she would save them both and they could live in their own place together. But that wasn't the case right now.
***
It was Thursday and naturally, school was a requirement. Chris wasn't much of a school lover, but Kayla was. As she walked down the stairs, she noticed her mom was half off the couch again. She set her backpack down for a moment to hoist her mom up off the floor. Luckily it was her upper half that had slipped off the couch and not the bottom half. She checked her mom's pulse again, as she did every time to make sure she wasn't over drinking, before she covered her with a blanket. Then, Kayla picked up her backpack again, put it on and headed out the door.
Walking down the street, Kayla saw her brother Chris with his friends. They were all standing in an alley between the grocery store and hardware store. To her, it looked like they were just skipping class, at least until the drugs came out. The boys were passing around white sticks. Joints. That wasn't the problem, the problem was what followed. Syringes. This was the last straw. Kayla rushed over to him.
"CHRIS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" She shouted, snatching away a syringe.
"What the fuck, Kayla! I just bought that!" He said, trying to get it back from her. She was much faster than him, probably because she wasn't stoned the way he always was.
"We have enough problems at home without you killing yourself. You have a pageant this weekend too you know. If you don't show up sober, you will be disqualified," she told him.
"I hate pageants. I don't want to do them, but mom and dad make me because not many guys do it and I always win them cash. I don't care anymore. Just leave me alone," Chris said, finally getting back the syringe. Kayla knew she couldn't stop him. She stormed off and went to school. She knew her family was falling apart and there was nothing she could do to stop it.
Chapter 2
At school, Kayla felt the most at home. Her teachers appreciated how hard she worked to keep her grades nearly perfect, and she was always on the honor roll despite her family's best efforts to make her fail. She volunteered for just about anything that didn't fall on a pageant weekend or pageant prep weekend, and she was always the person that stayed out of trouble. This week was a pageant weekend and the school formal. She had been asked by several people to sign up to help but she was going to be out of town at the pageant and had to decline. She felt bad because she would rather do that than go off with her mom to another competition, but it was the only time she ever saw her mom sober and she missed that, even if it meant her mom sobbed into hotel pillows every night and covered up her lack of sleep with layer after layer of makeup.
Kayla walked to her math class and sat down in the front row. She had just gotten her books out and class was about to start when the school counselor walked in.
"I need Kayla Williams for just a moment please," she said to the math teacher. He excused her and she went with the counselor to her office. Kayla took a seat as the counselor said, "Sorry I had to pull you out like that first thing this morning, but I wanted to talk to you about a few things. One, I know college is coming up and you applied for several of them, and applied using a few scholarships, some that you've won in competitions you've been in. Correct?" She asked.
"Yes. I have four of them and I can pick whatever school I want. My first semester should be free," Kayla replied.
"That's wonderful! What are you planning to study?" She asked.
"I want to be a social worker," Kayla told her, thinking about how she wanted to save other children from being abused like her.
"That is a great and very difficult field to work in. Are you feeling ready for it?" The counselor asked.
"I am. I have some experience with it already. A... friend was abused." She stayed vague and tried not to let her counselor know that it was her family's treatment of her and the abuse she endures daily, that made her pick this field.
"Hope everything turned out well in that situation." The counselor eyed her suspiciously. She must have noticed that her parents were hardly involved in her school life or that she wore secondhand clothes to school.
"Yes. It did." Kayla wasn't sure she convinced the counselor and honestly, she wasn't convinced herself. She just needed to get both her and Chris to graduate and then she could figure out a way to help take care of her siblings on her own.
"Well, that's good then. I am glad things are all were sorted there. You should be hearing from the college admissions department soon for the places you've applied. I think it's wise that you picked community colleges for your education. This will save you a lot of money. The second you find out where you're going, apply for a job on campus ASAP, as campus jobs go fast and mainly to seniors. Then you should apply for housing should you choose to stay on campus. Those are things you have to do each semester, so make sure you're the first to do it. Set an alarm on your phone or something and remind yourself."
"Ok. Thanks," Kayla replied.
"The next thing we have to talk about is your brother." The counselor pulled out a file from her desk.
"I tried to reach your mom to let her know he wasn't in school today, again, but I can't seem to get her on the phone or in the office. I did leave her a message though. He's missed three weeks of school this semester and will have to be in summer school now. Can you give her this form? I would send it with your brother, but I have a feeling he may be on the brink of dropping out." She handed Kayla a form for summer school.
"Sure. I can get it to her. She's been busy with work so I will make sure she gets it." Kayla replied. She felt sick to her stomach, knowing that her brother was in really big trouble right now and her parents weren't doing anything about it.
"Good. You can go back to class now. Thanks for the help!" Kayla got up and went back to math class. She couldn't focus for most of the day and was anxious to get back home once the bell rang at the end of the day. She knew
Chapter 3
After school, Kayla half expected her brother to still be in the alley with his friend's doing heroine or some sort of heavy drug. To her surprise, they had left, a giant pile of needles stuffed in the trash can that was already overflowing with garbage. She rolled her eyes thinking he was either spending the night with his friends or at home now, hiding from their drunk mom and ignoring Lily. He never helped with the house, the money, or the parents. In some ways, she was glad. But in other ways, she wished he would change a diaper or take out the trash so she could study.
When Kayla opened the front door, her mom was sitting on the couch holding Lily with no babysitter in sight. She must have gone home already when their mom sobered up enough to take care of her own kid. Kayla rolled her eyes and dropped her backpack by the front door, then sat beside her mom.
"Hey, did you clean up my mess?" Her mom asked.
"Yeah, I did. Again," Kayla snapped.
"I'm sorry ok! I just have a lot going on and I need the drinks to relax," her mom replied, tearing up a little.
"No, you really don't. You and dad just need to split up. There's no point in being this unhappy and controlled. He's abusing all of us and you need to just get out of here. You are a drunk and everyone knows it. We all deserve better than this. Dad is cheating, you're drinking and passed out all the time, and I have to pick up after you. Who's the parent here? I know it sure as hell shouldn't be me. We all deserve to be happy and BOTH of you are messing it up," Kayla scolded.
Her mom was on the brink of tears. "You kids should be happy. I can't go anywhere though. He won't let me. He won't divorce me and still wants to sleep around. There's nothing I can do." Her mom was full on crying now, tears dripping on the top of Lily's head.
"YOU CAN GO! We can just drain the bank accounts, pack clothes and some food, and leave! He's gone most of the time anyways. He doesn't need to know where we are, and you can be happy with someone else one day. File for divorce and get out of here. I am ready to start college, so you have to do stuff on your own for a bit. Once I graduate, I will get a job quickly and help support you guys. But for now, just get out of here!" Kayla was frustrated.
"I can't," her mom whispered.
"Why not? He hates all of us anyways. He beats the shit out of you and screams at us kids about how trashy we are. If you don't leave him, you'll lose all of us instead. Is that what you want?" She was shouting at her mom now.
"No, it's not," she sobbed.
"Then WAKE UP! Your son is on drugs, your husband is cheating on you, and I can only take care of Lily for so long before I have to leave. The pageant weekends are coming up now and we still have to prepare a dress. I honestly don't know why you didn't put Lily in pageants too since she is able to do the kids pageants. But whatever. I don't think we should be leaving her with dad anymore though. We always come back to her being neglected and hurt somehow. I think she should attend the adult pageants with us. I just hate this family!" Kayla stormed off to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle for Lily since her mom had too much alcohol in her to feed her own baby. She stormed back in the room and gave the bottle to her mom so she could feed her in the only way she was capable at the moment, and then she snatched her backpack from the floor and marched upstairs to finish some homework.
Even though it was a Thursday, she knew she wouldn't have time Friday to do anything, and she still had to get her things together for the pageant and cook dinner for people who would probably never eat it. This was going to be a horrible weekend; Kayla could feel it.
Chapter 4
The weekend came and it was pageant time. Kayla was in their hotel room putting on a sparkly blue dress that she picked up at the thrift store in a section full of former prom dresses. The jewels were her own addition since they couldn't afford to get her custom dresses. Kayla's mom was sober and had decided that her daughter was right about some things such as keeping her youngest safe from her own father. They had Lily with them now and even though she was a bit of a distraction, it was good she came along. They had Kathy with them, babysitting and trying to help out as much as she could, but it wasn't easy on her either. She didn't have all the right things she needed to take care of Lily since Kayla's mom packed everything herself, insisting she could do it. It was a miracle they had enough diapers and formula, but that was about it. Lily was drooling on her bare stomach, having had a blow out just moments before, while Kathy was busy scrubbing out the stains in the bathroom sink and drying the clothes with a hair dryer. Kayla had just finished putting her hair into a twist when Chris knocked on the door.
"Come in!" Her mom said. Chris walked in smelling strongly of pot and looking completely red-eyed and stoned out of his mind. He had a busted lip that was bleeding, and his knuckles were bruised. He took his shoes and jacket off and laid on the bed before collapsing in a chair.
"Chris, what happened?" Their mom asked.
"Mmmm.... nothing," he grumbled.
"You stink. What is on your suit?" She pointed to a stain that looked like blood.
"Oh, that was from the fight," he said nonchalantly.
"THE FIGHT?!" Kayla and her mom shouted at the same time.
"Yeah, some douche bag was talking trash about how he was going to beat all the guys in tonight's pageant, and I don't know, I just lost it and beat the shit outta him. He was a prissy loser anyways. I don't see him competing. He claims he's just here for the girls. His sister is competing too, and she is dog fuck ugly." Chris rolled over on his side and fell asleep before anyone else could say anymore.
"What the hell, Kayla?!" Her mom shouted.
"What'd I do?" Kayla was confused.
"How could you let your brother be so out of control without telling me about any of this?" She snarled.
"How could I? Your drunk ass bum is always passed out on the couch while the rest of us have to take care of everyone else! Then you make us dress up and play perfect for the cameras, win prizes for things we don't really care about, and then go back and repeat. This isn't my fault, it's yours! You are a drunk piece of crap who can't take care of your own family and whose husband doesn't even want her. You want to blame someone? Blame your nasty self!" Kayla stomped out of the room carrying her makeup bag. She knew she had crossed the line with what she said, but it had been building for some time. She had to get it out even if it meant now. Storming past Kathy who was still drying Lily's onesie, she decided to get ready somewhere else. Kayla wasn't trying to win anymore; she was trying to escape her family. She thought about bringing her siblings to school and draining her parents bank accounts just to get by. She knew she'd get caught and then what? There'd be no one to save them then.
Kayla finished setting her makeup and gave her hair one last spritz of hair spray. Then she got behind the curtains and lined up with the rest of the teens waiting for their turn to shine. This was a full glam pageant and she hated it. She kept trying not to scratch her eyes as the false lashes were irritating her. When her number was called, she walked on stage, smiled as best as she could, performed like the good daughter she was, then went backstage and bawled her eyes out. How could her mom be so cruel? This wasn't the worst thing that she could have done to her daughter, but Kayla kept thinking that it needed to be the last. She was tired of putting up with so much stuff. If her siblings acted out, it was her fault. If her dad acted out, it was her fault. When was everyone going to leave her alone and let her be herself?
Back at the room, Chris was still passed out and looked worse than he had before. The bruises on him were darkening and Kayla knew he couldn't compete like that. They would lose money on this pageant if he couldn't win something. Kayla wasn't expecting to win any crowns or cash after her performance, and she knew that this would invoke her father's rage when they got home, if he was home at all and not with his mistress. She was fed up with her screwed up family. Everyone was having problems and pinning it on her. It was time for a new plan. She had to find a way to get everyone back together again before it was too late.
