Fake flame, p.21
Fake Flame, page 21
His older sisters paraded through in a bit of a blur of similar quasi-motherly noises until it was time for Cait and Nicole to come in. “Saved the best for last,” his favorite sister said softly. “We won’t stay long. You look like shit.”
He chuckled. “Peak Cait.”
She shrugged. “I gotta be me. Is there anything we can do for you?”
He shifted, already sick of the hospital bed. “Mom and Dad are going to want me to move back in with them while I recover.”
Cait grimaced. “Yeah. Well, you’re definitely not going to be on your own until you get the use of your right arm back. And you’re for sure not sleeping on our pull-out sofa. That’d just do you more harm than good.”
“You can stay with me,” Eva said.
* * *
The offer had been utterly spontaneous, spoken without thought. But when everyone looked at her, surprise evident on all three faces, she said, “It makes sense. My summer schedule is light. I have the room. And I want to.”
She maybe should have said that last part first.
Sean reached for her hand and squeezed it. “You sure?”
Eva nodded.
Caitlin glanced at the closed door. “You know I’m the biggest cheerleader for your relationship, but this is kind of a big deal. You haven’t had a chance to have the kid talk yet and I don’t want either of you to get hurt.”
Sean sighed and groaned, a deep rumble in his chest. “Not for nothing, Cait, but you’re channeling Mom. Go away now, willya?”
She chuffed out a laugh and patted his cheek with a gentle palm. “Fair enough. Don’t have the kids talk when you’re still high on pain meds, though, okay?”
“Cait.” His voice was a growl.
She raised her hands in surrender. “Fine, fine. I’m going to take my wisdom and my fabulous wife and we’re going to go home.”
“Get some rest,” Nicole said as they gathered their things to leave. “I’m glad you’re doing so well.” She shot a shy smile at Eva. “I’m also glad you came. Let us know if either of you need anything.”
“Thank you,” Eva said, a little in shock from the events of the afternoon, then even more shocked when Caitlin stepped forward and pulled her into another strong hug.
“Thank you for loving my exasperating little brother,” she murmured in Eva’s ear, making her choke with laughter.
“Thank you for calling me. This means everything to me.”
Cait gave her one last squeeze. “Good.” She pulled back and held out her hand for her wife to take and the two women left the room.
Eva took a deep breath and scanned her surroundings, wondering what she should do. Feeling like she should do something.
“What’s up?” Sean said.
“Just feeling like I should be useful,” she admitted.
“Come over here and hold my good hand. That’ll be useful.”
She dragged a plastic chair to his bedside and sat, weaving her fingers into his, cherishing the familiar feel of his calloused palm against her skin. Something she hadn’t thought she’d ever experience again.
“What’ve you been up to?” he asked, shifting a little then wincing.
“Are your pain meds wearing off?”
“Don’t think so. It’s just not comfortable being all strapped in like this.”
She grimaced. “No, of course not. But I’m sure it’s necessary.”
“Yeah.” He heaved a sigh. “You didn’t tell me what you’ve been up to, though.”
“Well.” She thought about her morning and how different it felt from now. “I did get a restraining order against Darren.”
He squeezed her hand. “Good. Did the asshole put up a fight?”
“No. He defaulted, in fact. Showed up after the hearing just to be a cartoon villain by making his presence known outside the courthouse, but I think I’m truly done with having to deal with him for good.”
Sean’s eyelids drooped. “Good.”
Guilt surged through her. She should have put him off, not actually told him about the hearing. She should have protected him just now, the way he would have protected her. “Sleep,” she said, lifting his hand to her mouth and kissing his knuckles. “I’ll be here.”
* * *
Discomfort and unfamiliar light woke Sean. He groaned and looked around the sterile hospital room, remembering the night of disturbed sleep, of nurses’ rounds and medication, of Eva’s pale, worried face as she took in the latest data from the latest medical professional.
Hospitals were no place to get better; that was for sure.
He rummaged for the bed’s controls that would lift his torso and looked around the room. Eva was curled up in a vinyl upholstered recliner in the corner, covered with a cotton hospital blanket. His heart felt like someone had reached into his chest and squeezed.
She loved him.
That alone was better than a full night’s sleep.
Untangling the blankets with the hand that wasn’t strapped to his body, he carefully levered himself to a sitting position. He was only on an IV at this point and he could wheel that into the bathroom to relieve himself.
God, just sitting up was exhausting.
He sat and just breathed for a few moments, admiring the baby blue rubber-adorned socks someone had placed on his feet, then carefully shifted upright, his good hand on the IV stand for balance. He took one step forward, then another. Okay so far. Moving slowly but with more assurance, the wheels on the IV stand squeaked and Eva started awake.
“Sean! What are you doing?”
“I’m going to take a piss. It’s fine.”
“You should have woken me up.”
“I apparently did,” he said, his voice dry.
She struggled out of the recliner, almost tripping over the blanket as she got to her feet to come over to him. “I mean before you got out of bed.” Her hands hovered around his left arm as if he was about to topple over.
“I’m fine. I just have a full bladder.” He tried to give her a reassuring grin, but what went across his face was probably more of a grimace. Her brows drew together and he patted her shoulder. “Hover if you want, but I have to piss.” Stepping carefully, he went into the bathroom and took care of his needs, finding dealing with life one-handed to be incredibly awkward and difficult. Though he had to admit being in a hospital gown helped. No fly to deal with.
And yet, it was going to be okay. Because Eva loved him. And he was going home with her. Emerging from the bathroom after washing his hand and splashing water on his face to make himself feel marginally more human, he found Eva talking with a nurse.
“They’re discharging you this morning,” Eva said, her face alight with the most radiant smile. It lifted a tiny bit of his fatigue, that smile. Because it appeared she was as happy as he was that he was going home with her.
* * *
As it turned out, they did need Caitlin’s help in the form of getting clothes from Sean’s apartment. Everything he’d worn on the upper part of his body had been cut off him by the paramedics, and as much as it might be a kind of stripper or beefcake calendar fantasy to have him exit the hospital in just his firefighting pants and steel-toed boots, it wasn’t exactly practical.
Caitlin arrived with a giant duffel bag full mostly of workout wear that was easy to slip on and off with only one hand. She’d also raided his bathroom for necessities like his toothbrush, deodorant and razor.
He rubbed his chin as she gave them the rundown of the inventory. “I don’t think I’m going to try to shave left-handed. Guess I’m going to get to grow a beard for the first time.” Eva blinked, confused, and he grinned at her. “They aren’t allowed on the job. Can’t have one and get a good seal on the oxygen mask.”
Comprehension flooded through her. “Oh.” She had so much to learn.
Caitlin commented that he looked a degree less like shit than he had the day before, gave him a sisterly peck on the cheek and left. Eva helped him dress, assistance that he grumbled about but accepted. For her part, Eva was glad to have a nurse show her how best to get a T-shirt off and on Sean without moving his arm. She marveled at the smoothly competent way the nurse explained how he should rest his elbow on something and work the shirt onto the injured arm first, moving it up high enough on his biceps so he could use his left hand to thread it over his head and on completely. Then the sling went back on, carefully immobilizing his arm against his torso.
Then there was a period of time where they did nothing, waiting for Sean’s discharge papers. “Hurry up and wait,” he grumbled. Finally, another nurse came in with the papers, a follow-up appointment and instructions for care so his surgical incision didn’t get infected. At last, with more grumbling from Sean, the nurse made him sit in a wheelchair while Eva scurried out to the garage to get her car and pull it around to the front entrance of the hospital, weighed down by the giant duffel Caitlin had brought.
Finally, Sean transferred himself into her passenger seat, ratcheting it back to accommodate his long legs and carefully managing the seat belt. Eva shut the door and rounded the car, sliding in and pausing for a moment to catch her breath.
“You okay?” he asked.
She nodded. “It’s just been a bit of a whirlwind.” In truth, she was starting to worry she’d been too hasty, offering her home to a convalescent Sean. But he grinned at her, weary but apparently happy and she remembered every kind thing, every thoughtful gesture, every concerned action, then buckled her seat belt and headed for home.
Twenty-Eight
By the time Eva had pulled up in front of her house, Sean had fallen asleep. What woke him was the lack of sound when she cut the engine, the quiet echoing in ears that had grown used to constant noise. He blinked and rubbed at his eyes, then let Eva open his door for him, getting slowly out as she retrieved his bag from her trunk. He felt imbalanced by the arm that was strapped to his chest, tired and generally not himself. He followed her inside, wondering why the house felt off.
“Where’s Timmy?” Normally, the little dog would be bouncing and prancing around both of them, eager for attention. But Eva’d been with him in the hospital since yesterday evening.
“Krystal took him for me. He’s having a playdate with Luther. She said she’d keep him until we got sorted.”
Sean realized she was already rearranging her life to help him. “You don’t have to do that. I can help. I can feed him, walk him—I only need one hand to hold his leash. Maybe only one finger.”
“Okay. But later. You need to get to bed. You look like you’re about to fall over.”
“Then you need to come with me. I think you got even less sleep than I did in the hospital.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t have a serious injury and surgery beforehand.”
He stepped forward into her space, cupping her cheek. “It’s not a competition. Krystal can keep Timmy for a few more hours while we sleep. Then we can both go get him when we’ve had some rest.”
Her expression melted into something he couldn’t quite read. “Dammit, Sean, I’m supposed to be taking care of you.”
“Come on upstairs. We can take care of each other.” It felt right to be with her. To be here where they’d made something special between them. They still needed to talk about kids, but he knew how he felt now. Somehow, in those days apart, he’d been able to unstitch the expectations he’d unwittingly absorbed from his own feelings and priorities.
They climbed up to her room and stretched out on top of her covers without conferring, as if they’d already agreed, Sean on his back, Eva on her side. “How do you feel?” she asked.
“Sore,” he admitted. His head throbbed and his shoulder ached.
“Do you think you can sleep?”
He yawned, his jaw cracking. “Mmm-hmm.”
The last thing he registered was Eva’s hand coming to rest on his good shoulder, warm and comforting.
* * *
Eva only slept for an hour before her eyes popped open and she was instantly awake. She’d rolled away from Sean in her sleep and now she cautiously turned to see how he was doing, careful not to wake him up. She needn’t have bothered. He was obviously deeply asleep, his massive chest rising and falling with his breath, his face slack and peaceful. She slid out of bed and crept downstairs, grabbing her keys and her phone and slipping out of the house. Krystal was home with the dogs and Timmy pranced and whined and generally behaved as if he hadn’t seen Eva in weeks.
“Thanks for taking care of this silly creature,” she told her friend.
“My pleasure. I think Luther appreciated the company.” She rested her hand on her dog’s massive head and he looked soulfully up at her, drool trailing from his jowls.
“I left Sean fast asleep, but I better get back in case he wakes up.” The need to be there felt like a line tied around her heart, towing her back to be with him.
Krystal flapped a hand. “Go take care of your heroic fireman. I’ll see you later.”
She thanked her friend again and she and Timmy fast-walked back to her house. Creeping upstairs, she reassured herself that he was still asleep. Good. His healing body would need the rest. Going back to the living room, she grabbed a pen and paper and sat down to make a grocery list. He was going to need fresh, healthy food and lots of it. It felt good, purposeful, to be able to take care of him.
Her phone rang. “Is this Eva?” a vaguely familiar voice asked.
“Yes, who’s this?”
“This is Felix—we met at the county fair.”
“Oh, of course. How are you?”
“Better than Sean is, that’s for sure. His sister says he’s recuperating at your house.”
“He is. He’s asleep now, as a matter of fact.”
“Good. Is there a good time for some of us to swing by? We’ve had a slow few hours and made up some chili and soup and stuff if you have room in your fridge or freezer.” The reality of Sean’s life—so many people ready to step up and support him, to support both of them—made tears push at the backs of her eyes.
“Oh, gosh. I was literally just making up a grocery list because I figured he was going to need a lot of food as he recovers.”
“You’re not wrong. He’s a big guy and can put it away even at the best of times. We figured you might want some help.”
“That’s so sweet of you. Really any time today would be fine. I’m not going anywhere. But if you want to actually talk to Sean, you might want to give him a few hours. He seems like he’s going to be napping for a while.”
They arranged for a time for the firefighters to come over to Eva’s and she looked off into space for a long time after they ended the call.
* * *
Sean drifted awake slowly, aware of pain before he was aware of anything else. His eyes slid open and he realized where he was. Eva’s bedroom. The aches in his body didn’t disappear, but they somehow seemed to recede, to become less important.
Eva was somewhere in the house and she and he were going to make a go of it.
Voices filtered up from downstairs. Was that Felix he heard? Carefully, he levered himself up and got to his feet. The next few weeks of sleeping exclusively on his back were truly going to suck. He went to the bathroom, emptied his bladder and washed his hand and, awkwardly, his face. It wasn’t just sleeping on his back that was going to suck.
Maybe Eva would give him a sponge bath. That would improve his mood.
He moved slowly downstairs, finding not just Felix in Eva’s little living room, but also Thea and a bunch of the rest of the squad. “Hey,” he said, his voice raspy.
“Hey, sleeping beauty,” Thea said, but her voice didn’t have its usual irreverent snap. Her skin was pale and her eyes looked too big for her face. She was trying to smile but it was more like a grimace.
“Hey yourself,” Sean replied. If he asked Thea what was up in front of the rest of the guys, she’d clam up. But maybe he could talk to her later. Something was definitely wrong.
Eva moved forward through the little crowd. “How are you feeling?” she asked, her eyes scanning his face.
“Like something heavy fell on me and I was cut open and reassembled. But with more sleep. What are all you reprobates doing, invading my girlfriend’s house like this?” he asked with mock severity. It felt so good to be able to call Eva his girlfriend again.
“Hush. They brought food,” Eva scolded with an affectionate grin.
“Mike and I made chili, Ray made his matzoh ball soup, and Thea made stuffed shells,” Felix said.
“And thank goodness I had extra room in my freezer,” Eva said. Then she turned to the entire group. “But honestly, thank you all so much. It will help a lot, I’m sure.”
Sean hadn’t thought he was hungry, but mention of his squad-mates’ best dishes made his stomach rumble.
“Ah, well. That’s our cue. We’ll get out of your hair and let you feed the big guy,” Felix said, winking at Sean and waving everyone toward the front door. “Let us know if we can do anything else while he recuperates. We can deliver more food, drive to doctor’s visits, physical therapy appointments, you name it.”
The memory of handing the small child off to the paramedic hit him. “Wait, before you go—how’s the kid?” Sean asked.
Felix stopped and turned. “Kid’s right as rain, ya big hero. The EMTs got her on oxygen and despite some smoke inhalation, she’ll be just fine.”
“Good.” A family losing their home—as Sean was sure was the case here—was bad, but homes could be rebuilt. If the family was whole and together, that was the important thing.
