The struggle for authori.., p.40
The Struggle for Authority, page 40
Eventually she slapped him lightly on the back. “You’re a tough one,” she told him jovially. “You can dress again. I want to see you again in three days.”
She spent a few minutes describing some exercises. “Do each of them once a day. And don’t come back with excuses about why you didn’t find the time!” She gazed at him with an eyebrow raised threateningly.
“Thanks,” he said. “I think.” He nodded to her, then turned to go.
“Will!” she called softly.
He looked back over his shoulder.
“Follow your heart,” she told him, an unreadable look on her face.
He faced her again, frowning. “What does that mean?”
A wry smile came to her lips. “You do know what your heart is, don’t you?” she teased.
When he didn’t respond, she sighed. “You lead men, Will Prentis, and you devise strategy. You’re very good at it. But a different kind of skill is needed for matters of the heart.”
He felt himself blushing like an awkward youth. Was it possible she’d somehow guessed his feelings for her daughter?
She looked at him seriously. “You’re actually much more capable than many men. You know how to build effective partnerships with difficult people, people who have very different backgrounds and purposes from your own.” She grinned knowingly at him. “That particular skill happens to have very broad application.”
He didn’t know what to say.
“There’s just one other thing you need to master,” she told him, serious once more.
She had his full attention, and he tried hard not to look too eager.
“You need to learn to say what you’re feeling. Women like that.”
He stared at her wide-eyed.
“It isn’t exactly what you say that matters,” she assured him. “The fact that you’re making the effort will count for a lot.”
He stood unmoving, his thoughts whirling chaotically.
“Off you go!” she ordered firmly, waving her hands to shoo him out.
Jolted unceremoniously back to reality, he spun around and hurried out of her hut.
* * *
Back pain had been part of Will’s daily experience for years. Like his limp, he had come to accept it as normal. Although Dahra’s efforts had left him wincing, he didn’t actually feel worse when he left her. And after a day or two he began to feel noticeably better.
After his second visit he began to catch glimpses of a quality of life he had long forgotten, one he had believed gone forever. And her efforts had already begun to improve his limp.
She was changing his life.
“Dahra, I don’t know how to repay you,” he told her seriously.
“Nonsense,” she replied. “No repayment is necessary.” She paused. “There might be something you can do for me though.”
He gazed expectantly at her.
“I’ll let you know when the time comes,” she told him vaguely.
He left her with a shrug.
Spending time with Dahra inevitably set him thinking about her daughter.
He had completed everything he came to Rogand to do. Far more, thanks to the contributions of Rhillyon and others. Amyra, too, had played a key role at the end.
No Rogandan army would be attempting to force the border with Arvenon now. No further reason remained to delay his return to King Steffan.
No reason except Amyra. He would not leave Rogand without making an attempt to win her. He couldn’t pretend he felt confident, but he had never been one to shy away from difficulties. And he wasn’t entirely without hope. She had pursued him into Agon’s camp, almost with disastrous consequences for herself. Did that mean anything?
He knew one of the biggest challenges of his life lay before him. Dahra could say all she wanted about following his heart, but he had more basic problems to overcome first. From his first meeting with Amyra he had succeeded in alienating her, ignoring her advice and bypassing her as translator. Opportunities for irritation had only multiplied from there. And while he found her hopelessly appealing, she had made a point of telling him to his face that she found him unattractive.
A much bigger problem had been weighing heavily on him though. Almost immediately after taking the Stone of Authority, she had discovered how to bend it to her purpose. She made it appear effortless—the memory of her mastery still filled him with awe. With the stone she had rallied nature to end a battle before it began.
The invaders had been routed without loss of life on either side, and her achievement confronted him with a difficult truth. If he had been the one to awaken nature, he would not have hesitated to turn it against the Rogandans.
He was a man of blood. Multitudes had died as a result of his mastery at war. Not just his enemies—his own men had drunk deeply from the same chalice.
It wasn’t that he thought he should have acted differently in the past—he could see no other options. But Amyra, faced with the destruction of the people she loved, had conceived of a different way and imagined it into being.
How could a man like him ever hope to win such a woman?
43
For better or for worse, the time had come for Will to find out if he had any hope of a future with Amyra. He knew she liked to spend time alone in the forest when she could, and having once glimpsed her horse in the distance tied to a tree, he thought he had a rough idea where he might find her. Mounting his own horse, he gathered his courage and headed for the location.
Her horse was exactly where he expected it to be. After securing his mount beside it, he picked his way through the trees in search of her.
Not far in he came upon a small clearing. The sight he saw there took his breath away.
Amyra stood on the far side of the glade. One of her arms was raised high, and a host of brilliantly colored butterflies filled the air around her.
He watched wide-eyed as she slowly weaved her arm back and forth through the air. Glimmers of blue, red, purple, and every color of the rainbow danced before his eyes as the fluttering insects swirled about her in a delicate cloud, imitating her every movement. She swept her arm majestically in a circular motion, down and up again, and the butterflies dipped and soared smoothly in response. He stood entranced, oblivious to all else.
How long it went on he couldn’t say, but a wave of disappointment washed over him when the spectacle finally came to an end. She dropped a small object into a leather pouch; he didn’t need to be told what the object was. Then she stood quietly, watching as the colorful cloud slowly dispersed.
All this time he’d scarcely dared to breathe. As he shifted position she finally noticed him. A delicate blush tinged her cheeks when she realized he’d been watching her.
Stepping into the open, he approached her slowly. “How did you learn to do that?” he asked in wonder.
Her slender shoulders lifted in a shrug, setting her hazelnut brown tresses swaying. “It was a chance discovery. The stone seems to have a gentler side,” she said with a faint smile.
In her hands, the stone was presiding over creativity rather than coercion. It came as no surprise to him.
His breath hitched as he gazed down into her face. He’d always seen the fire that flashed in her hazel eyes, but how could he have failed to be captivated by how beautiful they were?
She was no ordinary woman. Could he really do this?
He checked himself. He needed to stay focused. A challenge lay before him, but he would find a way through it. He always did.
“What brings you here, Will?” she asked quietly.
He sucked in a breath, telling himself it couldn’t be that hard. “I want to speak with you,” he finally managed.
She raised her eyebrows questioningly, watching him far too intently for his comfort.
In an attempt to collect himself he looked beyond her, into the trees. “I’ve been thinking,” he began. “About a lot of things. The stone—in Agon’s hands—it got me to do things. Things that made no sense.”
He looked back into her face and almost lost his way again. Diverting his eyes once more, he tried again. “It got me wondering—are there other things I’ve been doing? Things that make no sense?”
Had he repeated himself? This wasn’t working. He needed to change course before it turned into a complete disaster.
He thought he had rehearsed what he was going to say when he talked with her, but the words had become a jumbled mess in his mind. Releasing a heavy sigh, he gave up any attempt at delivering a speech.
In the heat of battle he had sometimes been forced to abandon caution entirely and follow his instinct. He decided now to do something he couldn’t ever remember doing before. He would just talk—about himself.
He began at once, before he could change his mind.
“I never knew my parents,” he said. “I was raised by my uncle and his Rogandan wife. I think my uncle cared about me in his own way, but from the beginning my aunt never liked me, and she took every opportunity to abuse me. I had no siblings, and they never had children of their own. I was their only child, but it never felt like we were family.”
She stood completely still, her big eyes fixed on him.
Now that he was underway, the words were welling up inside him. “There was no reason for me to stay. I had no idea where I belonged, but I knew it wasn’t with them. All I wanted was to make my mark in the world, and I decided the best way to do that was to become a soldier. I don’t see it that way now, but it was all I knew at the time. Things just happened after that. I think I ended up in the right place at the right time.”
He had no idea what she was thinking. But it was too late to stop. He’d set his course, and he would follow it to the end. “Once I started leading the army, life became overwhelming. I never found time to think about anything else. After the invasion, the king made me a nobleman and granted me holdings in Erestor—I have no idea why. But I can see now I was being given a chance at a new beginning. I didn’t take it. The idea of settling down never even occurred to me.
“So here I am, years later, still wandering the world in a vain attempt to fix it.” He smiled, but there was no mirth in it. “You already know how that’s been working out for me. If it hadn’t been for the assassin, I’d still be under Agon’s power.” His chin dropped to his chest. “I even turned you over to the maniac,” he added miserably.
Amyra gave no response.
How could she remain silent for so long? He’d hardly known a woman to be lost for something to say.
“I never thanked you for coming to rescue me,” he blurted. “It was incredibly brave!” He frowned at her. “Incredibly foolish.”
Still she held her peace.
He threw up his hands in frustration. “I’m no good at this,” he exclaimed, shaking his head. “There’s a reason for it, too—I grew up without a woman’s influence. It’s left me tongue tied when it comes to feelings. I care about things, and about people. I truly do! But I don’t know how to talk about it. I always thought it’s the way I was made. But maybe it’s just another thing I’ve been doing that makes no sense.”
He heaved a deep sigh. For better or for worse, he’d managed to get something out.
“Thank you,” she said, her voice gentle. “That can’t have been easy. It means a lot that you’ve shared it with me.”
He stole a quick glance at her. “My face will always be scarred,” he said awkwardly. “But my limp is gone at least.”
She stared at him blankly.
“It was your mother,” he explained. “She’s been working on my back.”
Her eyebrows twitched together in a puzzled frown. She clearly had no idea what he was talking about.
He shrugged in resignation. “You told me that a scarred face and a limp are not at all attractive to a woman.”
Merry laughter burst out of her. “And you took me seriously? Oh, Will!”
He stared back at her, completely nonplussed.
She took a step closer, and his heart began to pound.
“There’s a lot more to you than your scars, Will Prentis. From the very beginning, it was obvious to me what you have up there,” she told him, delicately placing a finger on his forehead. His whole face tingled at her touch. “You have a sharp mind, and you use it to great effect.”
She paused for a moment. “You’re self-sacrificing, too—I’ve seen that for myself.”
A delicate flush tinged her cheeks. “You need to know that I quizzed Thomas and Haldek about you,” she confessed. “You’re a strong leader, but I’m well aware that you’re also humble and compassionate.”
She nodded solemnly. “Yes, Will, I’m afraid your secrets have been exposed.” Her hazel eyes twinkled mischievously.
“But until today I hadn’t glimpsed anything at all of what’s going on in here.” Amyra touched a finger to his heart, setting it pounding even harder. She lowered her voice almost to a whisper. “I must say, I like what I’ve been seeing.”
Her beautiful eyes settled on his, and he swallowed, barely able to think straight.
She stepped closer. “Did you come here today to woo me, Will Prentis?” she asked him softly.
She was beautiful, she was beyond amazing, and she was everything his heart could possibly desire.
He could bear it no longer. Reaching out, he swept her into his arms, clasping her to himself almost with desperation.
Her face turned upward to him, and he bent down instinctively, pressing his lips onto hers. She kissed him back with a passion that sent fire racing through his veins. He cradled her head tenderly in one hand, and in response she stretched up her arms to send fingers snaking through his hair.
Time seemed to stand still as he lost himself in the miracle of her embrace.
When eventually they drew apart he stood breathing heavily, holding her at arm’s length and gazing into her eyes. He couldn’t speak—his heart was too full. It was more than enough just to soak her in. She gazed back at him in silence, a smile playing across her lovely face.
Dahra had been right about what he needed to say. He hadn’t planned what had come out though—he’d simply done the best he could, and somehow they’d found their way together.
“I had no idea what I was saying,” he finally confessed. “I’ve faced major battles feeling less nervous.”
“The fearless commander, quaking before a woman?” she teased.
“I’ve never met a woman like you,” he said. “I never dared to believe I had any hope of winning you.”
“You underestimate yourself, Will,” she said with a shake of her pretty head. “My heart has been in your keeping almost from the day I met you, even though I stubbornly refused to admit it to myself.”
He gazed at her in wonder. Then he drew her close once more, heaving a sigh of complete contentment.
When at last they walked hand in hand from the clearing, he discovered that the whole world had changed. The birds sang more brightly, the snatches of blue in the sky above were more brilliant.
Will stole glances at her as they walked, unable to keep the smile from his face. Then they mounted their horses and rode to the settlement side by side.
* * *
Will wasted no time seeking out Dahra, Amyra at his side. The older woman didn’t need to be told what had happened between them. She took one look at their faces and burst out laughing.
“You look like you’ve figured out the meaning of the word ‘happy,’” she told Will. “As for you,” she said, turning to Amyra, “you look like you’ve finally discovered how to relax. Not before time!”
Will glanced self-consciously at Amyra. She treated him to a beguiling look intended for him alone.
Dahra raised an eyebrow. “I do hope you realize what you’ve taken on, Will,” she warned. “She might be all smiles and sunshine now, but she’s feisty enough for the two of you.”
Then she grinned at them. “Your lives will never lack drama. But I have to say I’m confident you’re going to make each other very happy.”
44
The following day Will found himself heading to Dahra’s hut with Amyra once more. Amyra would have nestled comfortably into his shoulder if he’d let her. He wanted it as much as she did, but Thomas had joined them, and Will was feeling extremely self-conscious.
In spite of Will’s self-restraint, Thomas was clearly aware that something was up. Will turned to Dahra, eager to divert attention elsewhere. “I’m sure I’m not the only one who would like to know how Ennawi is,” he said.
He chose the right topic, because Thomas immediately redirected his full attention to Dahra.
“I’m happy to tell you,” said Dahra. “Before I begin, it might be helpful for you to know that Amyra has told me all about the scroll. I know how Thomas was able to discover Agon’s plans through Ennawi. And he has been a great help in my attempts to better understand Ennawi.”
Will nodded. He glanced at Thomas, who for some reason appeared to be carefully studying the floor at his feet. Will guessed he must have used the stone to study Ennawi, and passed on to Dahra whatever he learned.
“So how is Ennawi?” asked Will.
“I feel more hopeful than I would ever have imagined,” she said. “He has a long road ahead of him, but he has taken some promising initial steps.”
“What have you discovered about his background?” asked Amyra.
“It wasn’t easy to get to the bottom of it,” she sighed, “but between us we have been able to dig it out in the end. Nistinaa helped too, of course,” she added hastily.
Her eyebrows drew together. “His situation is so complex and so incredible you could be forgiven for refusing to believe it. Lord Drettroth was the one who organized for him to be placed with King Agon, although the king had no awareness of who’d done it.”
She waited for the expressions of amazement to fade away.
“It was also Drettroth who arranged an abundant supply of the potion that enabled Ennawi not to react to Agon’s abuse. The supply never failed, even after his death. The potion is the only thing that kept Agon from killing him—that and Ennawi’s inability to pass on anything he heard the king say. Where the potion came from I don’t know, but apparently Drettroth made quite a study of poisons and their effects. This seems to have been one of his more unusual concoctions. What made it hard for Ennawi is that the drug allowed him to remain fully aware of everything that was happening, even though he never showed any sign of it. The abuse has been wearing away at him for years.”
