The rules we break a roo.., p.13
The Rules We Break: A Roommate Romance, page 13
“They told you on Christmas? Who the fuck does that?”
“Exactly what I thought, but my parents didn’t get it. They couldn’t figure out why I was so upset.”
“Nothing against your parents, but that’s a really shitty thing to do,” he says, keeping me in his arms. I’m so glad he’s here. Last night was really hard. Being alone here, thinking about what happened? I couldn’t sleep. But having Theo here, I already feel better. “So what happened with Christmas? Did you guys do anything?”
“No. There wasn’t a tree or decorations or presents. They put money in my account and said that was my gift. My mom made a ham for dinner, but I didn’t eat it. I was too upset.”
“Why didn’t you call me?”
“I didn’t want to bother you on Christmas.”
“What the hell?” He pulls back and looks at me. “You wouldn’t be bothering me. Why would you even think that?”
“Because I didn’t think I could. It seemed like something a… girlfriend would do. Not your roommate.”
“We don’t have to be dating for you to call me. And we’re not just roommates. We’re friends. I thought that was clear by now.”
“It is, but we haven’t been friends for that long and I didn’t think it’d be right to call you when you were with your family.”
“You can call me whenever you want,” he says, looking me in the eye. “And if you need me, you better fucking call me.”
I smile a little. “I will. Next time.”
He’s being really sweet and understanding. It makes sense now why I missed him so much. I was only away from him for a few days, but I really missed him and didn’t understand why. Now I do. There’s something about Theo that makes me feel better, even when I’m feeling really down. Maybe it’s his big goofy grin or his warm hugs or the way he’s so laid back and easygoing about stuff. Whatever it is, I missed him.
He sits down on the bed and pulls me down beside him. “So what do you want to do today?”
“I was going to clean my room and maybe do some laundry.”
“Wrong answer. Try again.”
“What do you mean?”
“You shouldn’t be doing chores today. You should do something fun. Something that gets your mind off what happened.”
“Like what?”
“We could watch movies. Go to the store and load up on junk food. Get really drunk. Any of those things sound appealing?”
“They kind of all do.”
He stands up. “Get dressed and meet me downstairs. We’ll start by going to the store.”
“Right now?”
“We have to. We have no food.” He pauses. “Shit, I should’ve brought some food back. We had all kinds of Christmas cookies and these peppermint brownies that Ella made and like three different types of snack mix. If I knew you were here, I would’ve brought you some.”
I get up. “Why aren’t you still there? Why’d you come back?”
“I didn’t want to be there anymore.”
“Why? What happened?”
“I’ll tell you later,” he says, walking to the door. “I’ll see you downstairs.”
After I’m dressed, I go down to the living room and see Theo playing a video game. It used to annoy me when he did that. It made me think he’s immature, but then I realized it’s just the way he relieves stress, like I do with shopping. And those games he plays actually take a lot of skill. He’s tried to teach me several times and I get frustrated and quit.
“That was fast,” he says, putting the game controller down.
“I just threw something on. I didn’t feel like doing my makeup. It’s not like I’ll see anyone I know. Everyone’s home on break.”
“I think you look good without it.” He turns off the game and gets up from the couch.
That’s another thing I like about Theo. He doesn’t care how I look. He’s seen me at my worst—first thing in the morning when my hair’s a mess or hungover from a night of partying—and I don’t even care because he’s just a friend. It’s great to be able to be myself around a guy and not worry about how I look.
As we’re driving to the store, I turn to Theo. “So what happened? Why are you here?”
“My mom’s drinking was out of control. I’ve never seen her that bad. I didn’t want to be around her so I left.”
“Why was she drinking so much? Was it because of the holidays?”
“I don’t know.” He pauses, then says, “That’s a lie. I know why. I just don’t like saying it. Or thinking it.”
He pulls into the grocery store and parks. His head is down and he doesn’t have that big smile on his face that’s always there. It breaks my heart to see him sad. He’s almost always happy. I’ve never seen him like this.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
DARCY
“Theo, talk to me.” I take off my seatbelt and turn to him. “Tell me what happened.”
“The reason she was drinking so much,” he says, staring straight ahead. “It’s me. I’m the reason. Being around me reminded her of him.”
“Who?”
“The bastard who got her pregnant, resulting in me. She’d deny that’s why she was drinking so much, but every damn time she saw me, she’d run off to get another drink. It’s like just seeing me set her off. So I left.”
“Theo, you’re not the reason she did that. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Just being his son is wrong. I’m a constant reminder of him and what he did to her when he left.” Theo looks at me. “He destroyed her by taking off like that without giving her an explanation or telling her where he’d be. He never even called to check in. He just took off and left her alone with a kid.”
“She didn’t have her parents?”
“They died in a car crash right after I was born. And his parents wouldn’t talk to her. They blamed her for why he left.”
“That’s horrible.”
“Yeah, she had no one until she met my stepdad. She’s tried to get over that time of her life, but hasn’t. Because of him. I honestly don’t get it. I mean, yeah, I get that what he did was wrong and messed her up, but her life is so much better now. I don’t know why she can’t see that and move on.”
“Maybe she really loved the guy. Maybe that’s why she’s never moved on.”
“I don’t know how she could love a guy that would do something like that.” Theo shakes his head. “This isn’t fair to Ella. I feel so bad for her, but I don’t know what to do about it.”
“What isn’t fair?”
“Mom not being there for her. It’s the holidays and my mom’s spent the past couple days in her room, drinking or passed out. She kept telling us she didn’t feel well, but we all knew it was a lie. Dad and I tried to take Mom’s place and make Christmas dinner and set the table the way she would, but then she came down to eat, drunk and looking like shit, and ruined it. I talked to Ella later and she said she was fine, but I know she wasn’t. I can tell when she’s lying. We all lie and I’m sick of it.”
“What do you mean, you lie?”
“We lie to protect my mom, to cover up her problem. We act like everything’s fine when it’s not. We’ve been doing it for years and I’m tired of it. My dad’s given up trying to help her. He doesn’t know what to do anymore so he quit trying. He didn’t want me to leave, but I didn’t want to stay there and make things worse.”
“You weren’t making things worse. You can’t blame yourself for your mom’s drinking.”
“Why wouldn’t I? If she’d never had me, she wouldn’t still feel so attached to that guy. They probably would’ve broken up after high school, gone their separate ways, and she never would’ve started drinking.” He looks away, gazing out the front window. “He called her.”
“Your dad?”
“Don’t call him that. He’s not my fucking dad.”
“Sorry,” I mutter.
Theo glances at me. “I didn’t mean to yell at you. I just don’t like hearing him called that. Anyway, he called her right before Thanksgiving. That’s why she was drinking so much that day. He called to ask her about me. He told her he wanted to see me and she told him it was too late. Now she’s worried he’ll try to find me.”
“What if he did? What would you do?”
“Fucking kill the bastard.”
“Theo, I’m serious. What would you do if he showed up at your door one day?”
“I don’t know. I’d want to punch him, but I’d also want to know why he left.”
“Why? Would it make a difference?”
“Probably not, but I’d still want to know. I can’t understand why he’d leave his kid like that. I know people do it. It’s not like he’s the only one, but I still don’t understand it, especially if he had feelings for my mom.” He opens his door. “Let’s go. It’s getting cold sitting out here.”
I feel bad that Theo blames himself for his mom’s drinking. I wish I could convince him it wasn’t true, but since I can’t, maybe I can at least make him feel better or make his smile reappear. I’m not sure how to do that when I’m feeling down myself, but I’m going to try. I care about Theo, more than I probably should as his roommate. But we’re also friends and because of that, I want to help him.
“How about this?” I say, holding up a box of cereal with unicorns and rainbows on it.
“Sure. Add it to the cart.”
I laugh. “I was kidding.” I put the box back. “I don’t eat that stuff.”
“You eat cereal.”
“Not that sugary stuff. My parents didn’t allow it.” I try to push the cart forward, but Theo holds it back. “C’mon, let’s go to the next aisle.”
He’s staring at me. “Are you telling me you’ve never had sugary cereal?”
“It wasn’t allowed at my house. My parents are doctors. I could only have healthy stuff.”
“What if you went to a friend’s house?”
“My parents would tell my friend’s parents what I could and couldn’t eat before I went over there.”
Theo pushes the cart to the cereal aisle and starts tossing boxes in it.
“What are you doing?” I ask, catching up to him.
“An intervention. You can’t be 20 years old and not experienced the sheer joy of a bowl of colored marshmallows.” He tosses another box in the cart, one with a cartoon rabbit on it. “Go grab that unicorn one you were showing me. It’s new. I haven’t tried it, but it looks good.”
“Theo, this is way too much,” I say, looking at the 10 boxes of cereal. “How are we going to eat all this?”
“I could finish off two of these before tonight.”
“Are you serious? That’s so much sugar.”
“I’ll burn it off. I’m doing a long workout at the gym tomorrow.”
“Yeah, but I’m not. If I eat all this, my ass will be huge.”
He smiles. “I’d be good with that.”
I swat his arm. “Would you stop? We’re not supposed to… you know.”
“What?” He smiles even more. “What are we not supposed to do?”
“Flirt with each other,” I say, putting my hands on my hips.
“How was I flirting? All I said is I’d be okay if your ass got bigger, although the way it is now is pretty damn perfect.”
“Okay, see?” I point at him. “You did it again.”
“It’s just a compliment. I wasn’t flirting.”
“It was a compliment said in a flirty way, which isn’t appropriate for roommates.”
“Why not? It’s just words. It doesn’t mean anything’s going to happen.” He points to himself. “Go ahead. I’ll prove it to you.”
“Go ahead and what?”
“Compliment me.” He steps back and turns around, like he’s showing me his body.
“Seriously?” I roll my eyes.
“C’mon.” He smiles. “You can’t come up with one thing? I’m not that bad-looking, am I?”
He’s the opposite of bad-looking. He’s extremely hot, and the longer I live with him, the hotter he gets. But I’m not telling him that.
I sigh. “You have nice teeth. They’re very straight.”
“Thanks.” He pushes the cart forward. “See? You gave me a compliment and nothing happened.”
“We’re grocery shopping. What do you think’s going to happen?”
“You might try to grab my ass.” He glances at me as he turns the cart to go down a different aisle. “But since we agreed to only be roommates, I trust that you’ll refrain yourself from inappropriate grabbing of my ass. I’m also not worried you’re going to sneak in my bed tonight and have your way with me.”
I clear my throat, trying to erase the images going through my head of that very scenario he just described. I actually thought about that last night. I imagined myself sneaking into Theo’s bed and us doing what we did the night of the party. It’s the last thing I should’ve been thinking about and I told myself I never would again, and then stupid Theo brings it up in the middle of the grocery store.
“What are you in the mood for?” he asks, pointing to the row of chips.
“Why don’t we just get some of each?”
“Go ahead,” he says. “Get what you want.”
As I’m grabbing bags of chips, I notice a guy approaching us with his cart. It’s Curt, the guy we saw at the mall, the one applying for the job of assistant football coach.
“Theo,” he says, stopping beside him. “Back from break already?”
“Yeah, I came back early. I didn’t think you’d still be in town. Does this mean you got the job?”
“I’m not supposed to announce it yet, but…” He cracks a smile.
“You got it? Congratulations!” Theo hugs him, a quick shoulder hug, but it takes the guy by surprise. That’s just Theo. He’s a hugger.
“Don’t tell anyone yet,” Curt says. “The school isn’t announcing it until next week.”
“Yeah, I’ll keep quiet.” Theo glances at me. “But I’m not sure about Darcy. She’s not great at keeping secrets.”
“Ignore him,” I say to Curt, coming up beside Theo. “I won’t tell anyone.”
Curt smiles at Theo and me. “I won’t either. Your secret’s safe with me.”
“What secret?” I ask.
“You and Theo. I won’t tell anyone you two are dating, although I don’t know why it’s a secret. You two are together all the time. And the way he looks at you,” Curt says, glancing at Theo, “it’s obvious you’re a couple.”
“No, we’re just friends,” I say, stepping away from Theo. “Friends and roommates. That’s it.”
“Oh. Sorry. I guess I misunderstood. You two seem so natural together and here you are grocery shopping. I just assumed you were dating.” He pushes his cart forward. “I’ll let you two continue your shopping.”
“Yeah, see ya,” Theo says as Curt continues down the aisle.
When he’s gone, I turn to Theo. “That was awkward.”
“What was awkward?”
“That guy thinking we’re dating. It’s the second time he’s said that.”
Theo shrugs. “He must think we make a good couple. And maybe we would if we weren’t roommates.” He points to the cart. “You good? You want any more chips?”
“No, we’ve got enough.”
“Let’s go to the freezer aisle and get some pizzas.”
As we’re walking there, I say to Theo, “Do you really think that?”
“Think what?”
“That we’d be a good couple if we weren’t roommates?”
“Maybe. It’s hard to say without us actually dating.”
“But dating is really just hanging out together, which we already do.”
“Dating is more than hanging out.” He stops at the freezer cooler and grabs five frozen pizzas. “Is this enough?”
“Um, yeah, for like two weeks.”
“More like two days. Have you seen how much I eat?” He continues down the aisle. “What else do you want?”
“Ice cream?”
“Good idea.”
“Maybe not,” I say, looking in the cart. “This is a lot of junk food. Maybe we should get something healthy.”
“Relax. It’s the holidays. Stop worrying about your ass getting fat.” He opens the freezer door. “What do you want?”
“The peppermint one with chocolate swirls.”
He grabs it, then grabs a couple more for himself.
“I think that’s good for now,” I tell him as we leave the aisle.
We go to the register and Theo pays. I offered to pay half, but he wouldn’t let me.
When we’re home, Theo unloads the groceries while I look for a movie to watch.
“What happened to the tree?” he asks from the kitchen.
“I put it in the basement. It was late and you know how I freak out being in the basement at night so I kind of just threw it down there and ran back upstairs. I’m just letting you know so you don’t trip on it when you go down there.”
“Why’d you take it down?”
“Because it reminded me of the Christmas I didn’t get to have. I took the lights down too.”
“That sucks. I liked the lights.”
I turn back and look at him. “Then why’d you get so annoyed when I put them up?”
“I didn’t want the guys giving me shit about it. But I liked how they looked. Why don’t you put them back?”
“It’s too much work.” I turn to the TV and flip through the movies. “What about this one?”
“That’s an action movie. You hate those. It’s all shooting and explosions.”
“That’s better than romance. I’m done watching those.”
Theo comes over to the couch with some bags of chips, tossing them on the table. “You’re done watching romance movies? Yeah, right.” He hands me a soda.
“I am. They’re all lies. They tell you you’ll find the perfect person, get married, and live happily ever after when the truth is you’ll find a guy you kind of like, marry him because that’s what society expects, then decide you really don’t like him and divorce him.”
Theo sets his soda on the table. “What happened to your parents doesn’t happen to everyone. And I’m sure in the beginning your parents were in love. They just grew apart.”
