Asking for it, p.13
Asking For It, page 13
Neither Kingston nor Owen was at the hearing. Because no one showed to argue for changing the zoning, and because I had my paperwork in order to show why it should stay as-is, the request was dismissed.
Arrogant idiots. All that trouble for nothing, on their part.
Unless Kingston never intended to pursue it after we got close.
I couldn’t believe that. Refused. It was the only way to cling to any bit of sanity.
As I was leaving, Ramsey caught up to me.
“Hey, I heard you guys split,” he said.
I smiled too brightly. Toning it down meant falling apart. “Split implies what we had was real.” Was it better or worse that I said with so much enthusiasm and cheer?
Ramsey shook his head. “I’m glad things went your way. I love the café, and you shouldn’t have to change how you do business.”
“Thank you.” I was too much sunshine, but I couldn’t lower the glare. “Can I do anything else for you?”
“I wanted you to know, it wasn’t Kingston who pushed the hearing up. I assumed, and I shouldn’t have. The clerk said it was one-hundred percent a scheduling issue.”
“That’s fine. I need to run. Have a fantastic day.”
Ramsey’s smile was weak. “You too.”
I was numb. I wasn’t thinking about Kingston and Owen. The only way to get through this was to stay icy until the pain receded. On the way home, I stopped at the grocery store. The ice cream called my name, and I’d forgotten to sneak in an order with my supplier. But I still hated that I ate so much last time. I grabbed a box of sugar free ice pops instead. Those would hit my sweet tooth perfectly, and keep me from getting dehydrated from the coffee I also stocked up on.
Every time I dozed off, as the night wore on, the nightmares rushed back. That coffee was a lifesaver.
I was more alert on Thursday. The world around me was in focus, and all I had to do was keeping looking forward. And drink more coffee.
Friday was more of the same, but I was up for getting back to the books. I wouldn’t let my café crumble from neglect, after keeping it out the hands of... assholes.
I logged into my banking portal to make my extra loan payment—it still felt good to be able to do so, as long as I ignored the memories of how that night ended.
My loan balance was at zero.
Odd.
Software glitch? All of my other accounts looked right. I could check back in a few hours, but a quick call to the bank would clear things up.
The woman who answered was cheerful. She probably meant to sound pleasant, but the sincerity grated on me. Did she mean it? What was she hiding from the world, under that brightness?
I couldn’t go through life questioning everyone who sounded like they meant something. “Hi. I’m calling because my loan balance isn’t showing correctly on the website.” I gave her my name and account number.
“I can check that for you, hang on.” The clacking of keys filled otherwise dead air. “Miss?”
“I’m still here.”
“Your account is fine. I show the loan paid off. I’m not sure why it’s not reflecting that for you, but give it a few hours—”
“I’m sorry.” I couldn’t have heard her correctly. “I didn’t pay off my loan. I wish I had, but no.”
“Oh.” More clacking keys. “Can I put you on hold for a moment?”
“Of course.”
I didn’t want to deal with this today, but it was better than what I’d been mired in. At least this was a problem I could confront head-on. Something I could get a solution for.
After a few minutes, the hold music vanished. “Jaelyn?” Miss Cheerful was back.
“Yes?”
“There’s no mistake. We received your check, drawn from Kingu Kafes, for the full balance this morning.”
Fuckers. “That’s right. I forgot they were sending that today. I’m so sorry to take up your time.”
“It’s fine. Is there anything else I can do for you?”
Castrate the last two men I slept with. “No, thank you so much.” I disconnected.
I was so livid, I was seeing red. Apparently that was a thing. My anger had me swaying on my feet. How dare they? I could call and scream, but I wanted to look them in the eye and ask them what the actual hell? They couldn’t buy their way into my life any more than they could fuck their way into my café.
I made it to their hotel and was hammering the side of my fist on Kingston’s door before I registered confronting them in person wasn’t the best idea for me right now. They probably weren’t here anyway.
When Kingston answered the door, surprise on his face, my stomach crumpled. If it hadn’t been empty, I might have vomited on his shoes.
“Lyn.” He sounded relieved.
I was angry. And tired. But mostly angry. I shoved past him, stalling for a heartbeat when I saw Owen was there too, sitting at the desk. “What are you doing?” I demanded.
“Working?” Leave it to Owen to be understatedly direct.
I wasn’t in the mood. The room was wobbly—did anger do that? “With my loan. You can’t just go around paying off people’s loans. If you thought I was pissed about being fucked to get into my good graces, large sums of money I didn’t ask for, in addition to the sex, aren’t going to help.”
“This isn’t about sex,” Owen said. “It’s not about your shop, or our business. It’s a gift. There’s no lienholder. We don’t have any claim to anything you own.”
Kingston moved into view and stood next to Owen. “We want you to be successful and happy.”
“Oh, okay. Sure.” Sarcasm bled into my retort. “And I’m supposed to believe that? How do I know this isn’t a way to get back into my life?”
“It’s not. I’m telling the truth. Why do you have such a hard time believing we like you for you?” Owen’s typical calm demeanor was buried under a frown.
My brain stalled on his question, and I forced the gears to start turning again. “But you didn’t tell me the truth.” That was the problem. The root of all of this.
Kingston pulled out a spare chair. “Sit, please? We’ll talk.” When I shook my head, he stayed standing “I’m sorry I put off telling you about the zoning. But that was the only—”
“The only lie? That and the names? One of the very first things you said to me when we met face to face? Barney? Your track record speaks for itself.” Maybe I should take the chair. Four nights of no sleep was catching up to me.
“I’m sorry,” Kingston said. “We’re sorry. It was a dick move anyway, but I hate that it was done to you.”
I wasn’t hearing that no-fault bullshit. “That you did it to me. This wasn’t a generic fluke; you made it happen.”
Owen sighed. “You’re right, we did.”
“Ravyn and Ramsey told me you don’t call in favors.” I focused on him. Or tried to. He was kind of fuzzy around the edges. “Guess I was special?”
“You are special. There were no favors.” Kingston looked blurry too. “I filed a request for a zoning change. Anyone could have done it.”
“I tried to have it pulled after we met you. I would have used a favor for that, but Ramsey couldn’t make it happen. We had to let it go to hearing,” Owen said.
I should shut this down and go home. Why was I here? “Goodie for you. You did something cruel, and then couldn’t backstep it. Boo hoo.”
Owen’s frown deepened. “I’m sorry. I miss you.”
Why did he have to sound so sincere? It made me want to punch something.
“Give us another chance,” Kingston said.
“How many chances do I give you?” Darkness licked the corners of my vision. I was definitely wobbling. And so tired. “I think I’ll take that seat now.” My world went black.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Why was I in a hospital bed? An IV running into my arm?
Everything in my brain was fuzzy. I’d been furious at Kingston and Owen. Yelling. Wobbling.
Someone kept asking me questions. My head throbbed as I tried to make sense of the memories. Was I taking any medications? Any allergies? When was the last time I ate? That was easy. Days ago. Unless coffee counted.
“...leave when we... answers.” Owen? He was shouting, but I couldn’t make out all the words. Owen shouted?
“...deserve answers... what you did... Fuck you both.” That was Anne. She sounded pissed.
“I’ll help you find the door.” Luke’s voice was more distinct. Or carried better. Or I was becoming more aware.
The pain shooting through the back of my neck said the latter was definitely the case.
“No.” Kingston’s reply was easy to make out. I could picture him stubborn and squaring off against Luke’s six-foot-two of imposing former Marine. I wasn’t surprised Kingston didn’t back down.
“Sirs, please.”
I didn’t know that voice.
“Tell Lyn,” Owen called.
“No.” And that was Sadie.
Was the entire world here? For me? What had I done? I didn’t want this attention. I wanted to curl up in a ball and vanish.
A beeping noise sounded next to my ear. Great, now what?
A nurse appeared by my side almost immediately, looked at something near me, then at me. “It’s a blood oxygen monitor. I need you to take a deep breath.”
“Why am I here?”
“Take a deep breath.” She was sterner this time.
I complied, mostly to get this part over with.
“Now exhale slowly, and repeat,” she said.
I didn’t have the patience for this, but after several excruciatingly slow inhales and exhales, the beeping stopped.
“I’m Joy. What do you remember?”
“I’m not sure. It’s all jumbled.”
Joy nodded. “A sign of exhaustion. Keep breathing. Your friend told 911 that you passed out. In the ambulance, you told the EMT you hadn’t eaten or slept since Monday.”
“I was delirious. I didn’t mean that.” Crap, I didn’t want to be stuck here. I started to sit. The alarm went off again.
Joy nudged me back gently. “Your blood tests show low potassium and some other nutrients, and you’re dehydrated, so I suspect at least some of it’s true. Keep breathing, or I’ll have to put you on oxygen.”
I made a show of taking and letting out several deep breaths.
“Good.” She smiled. “Your friends don’t know what happened—privacy laws—and I can’t let them all in here at once. Who do you want to see?”
“Can I see two of them? Sadie and Anne. Purple hair, and blonde?”
“All right.”
A moment later, Anne and Sadie appeared in my doorway, and then I was wrapped in hugs.
“We were so worried.” Anne squeezed me tighter. “You’re okay, aren’t you?”
I was going to cry again, at their concern, and I didn’t want to. Aside from that I was okay. “I’m fine. How did you know...?”
Sadie made herself comfortable next to me on the bed. “Kingston slid into my DM’s. Said he didn’t know how to get hold of any of your friends. I waited until I was here, and knew you were safe, and could look him in the eye before I told him what I thought of him.”
“The yelling in the hallway?” I put some pieces together.
Anne nodded. “Luke is out there standing guard. What happened?”
“Long story. I had to see them about something, I was more tired than I thought...” Shit. The shop. “I need to get home. There’s baking to do. Other work.”
“The doctor’s not ready to discharge you,” Joy said from the doorway.
Sadie leaned into me. She did a decent job of making pinning me down look like a hug. “I already called Violet,” she said. “The café will have to go without pastries for a day. It’ll be okay.”
“No. I can’t. I—”
“Stop.” Anne’s voice was sharp. “You can. You will. If you’re good, maybe we and the doctor will let you do a little work on Monday.”
Sadie pulled out her phone. “Now, call your mom. Tell her you’re all right.”
“You told my mother?” Another person worrying about me who didn’t have to.
Sadie pressed the phone to my ear. “You’re in the hospital. Of course I told her.”
“Hello?” Mama sounded concerned.
And now my heart was cracking at her voice. Did exhaustion make someone cry about everything? “Hey, Mama.”
“Jaelyn. How are you? What’s wrong? Your friend told me you were in trouble. I’m trying to book a flight out there now.”’
As much as I wanted to see my parents, I didn’t want them paying last-minute flight prices. “I’m okay. I promise. I’ll get the doctor to tell you so, too, if you need to hear it.”
We chatted for a few more minutes, and I promised her I’d eat and sleep more, and convinced her not to change their vacation schedule for this. I’d see them in a few months. She asked for Sadie, and I handed over the phone.
Sadie’s replies were mostly yes or a variation of it. By the time she gave me the phone again, my curiosity was at capacity.
“What did you tell her?” I asked my mom.
“To take care of you, and not to leave your side, and that if this happens again, we’re hopping the next plane there.”
“Yes, Mama.”
“Love you. Dad loves you. Be safe.”
I smiled. “Love you both too.” I disconnected.
The doctor came to talk to me, and I told him it was fine if he did so in front of Anne and Sadie. I regretted the decision when he brought up the not eating or sleeping thing. He refused to discharge me if I was going home alone.
“That’s not a problem,” Sadie said, before I could argue. “I’m moving in with her for at least a couple of weeks. She won’t be alone.”
I gave her my best excuse me? look.
She shrugged. “I promised your mom. I have to. Besides, you take care of us all the time. You listen to us. You feed us. Over advice and hugs and support. We’re here to do the same for you. Always. You just have to ask, or in this case, you don’t even have to do that.”
More tears stung my eyelids at the warmth that raced through me. I really did have the best friends in the world.
WHEN SADIE AND I GOT back to my place, she set her bags in her old room. “You didn’t change much.”
“I haven’t gotten around to it.” It wasn’t that I cared if she knew I missed her, but I was already taking up her time. I didn’t need to be clingy or sound like I was pulling a guilt trip on top of that.
“You missed me.” Sadie grinned. She grabbed my hand and led me into the kitchen. “Sit.”
I pulled up a chair at the kitchen table. “You have your own life.” Weak comeback.
“That you’re a part of. Where’s all the food?”
“I have plenty of food.”
Sadie pulled a half-empty box of rice cakes from the cupboard, and a mostly full box of ice pops from the freezer. “Do you make sandwiches with these?”
I clenched my jaw. The last thing I wanted right now was a lecture on my eating habits.
Sadie grabbed her phone. “Pizza or Chinese?”
“Pizza.” Not Chinese. Not again for a long time. The pit in my chest ached at the thought. How many other memories had been tainted?
Sadie made a few more swipes, than dropped into a chair across from me. “Ordered. You’re in idiot, by the way.” She met my gaze unflinchingly.
What was I supposed to say to that? Only I got to call me names. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.”
Because I’d fallen for the bull Owen and Kingston fed me? “What happened isn’t my—”
“It’s not your fault, I know. I agree. The stuff with those assholes? Not your fault in the slightest. “The not eating? The shutting us out so you’re not a bother? That’s on you.”
Unbelievable. “This is your idea of supporting me?”
“You’re one of us, Lyn. You’re not a burden or a third wheel. We want you in our lives because we like you for you.”
I didn’t care for her plucking thoughts out of my head that were meant for me alone. “That’s not what this is about.”
Sadie raised her brows. “Isn’t it?”
“No.” Maybe a little?
“I’m not trying to be mean,” Sadie said. “But I’m not taking back what I said.”
“You called me an idiot.” Like I hadn’t done the same to myself countless times.
She didn’t flinch. “Idiot was harsh, but I needed you to listen. You can be heartbroken. Take all the time you need to heal. You deserve so much more than being led on. You’re worth more than that.” She sighed. “My point is I wish I could show you what we see in you.”
I didn’t know what to say, and I was tired of feeling. “I’m going to lay down until the pizza gets here.” I pushed back from the table.
“Wait.” Sadie grabbed my wrist before I could walk away. She stood and threw her arms around me and squeezed tight. “You’re amazing and wonderful and smart and successful and beautiful and so many other words that would take me all night and into next week to list. No one, not even you, should be allowed to tell you otherwise.”
I didn’t know what to do besides hug back, and fail to swallow past the lump in my throat.
THE FIRST THING I DID Monday morning was drop a check in the mail, for a normal loan payment amount, addressed to Kingu Kafe’s corporate offices. I couldn’t pay them back all at once, but there was no way in hell I was taking anything from Kingston and Owen, especially money.
Sadie became my shadow, going so far as to get up when I did, and make me breakfast. I’m pretty sure she would have force fed me if I hadn’t eaten voluntarily. With her company, it was easy to distract myself from my thoughts.
On Friday, a letter arrived from Kingu Kafe. My torn up check was inside, along with a note written in simple block letters. The money was a gift. Non-returnable. We miss you. Owen.
I used a baking blow torch to light the entire thing on fire in a steel bowl in the café’s kitchen, while Sadie watched.
“Are you going to send them another one?” she asked.
It was tempting. “What do you think the odds are they’ll send it back the same way?”
