“Not at all. The Captain’s going to count the hours and give me extra shore leave next time we dock at home or at Perth. Now hurry up and smarten yourself up or he’ll be angry with me.”

  I’m ready in a flash. Change of clothes. Quick brush of my hair and a swish of lip-gloss and I’m off, running down the corridor to the elevators. It isn’t until I pause outside the doors to the Grill Room to get my breath back that I wonder what Clara is going to make of my sudden appearance. I hope the Captain has prepared her.

  He hasn’t, for she looks up in astonishment when the maître d’ pulls out a chair for me next to her at the bottom of the Captain’s table.

  “Why, Merry, did you change your mind about leaving Sukey alone?” she asks, her question catching the Captain’s attention.

  He smiles down the table at me and explains to Clara that he has sent Moira to take my place for the duration of dinner.

  “I thought you would like to have your niece with you,” he says to Clara.

  What can she do but thank him for his kind thought, although I can see from her pinched expression that she is annoyed. She gives a dismissive shrug and turns back to her conversation with the Admiral. I’m not hurt by her behavior. Clara loves me, and if she is displeased by my presence, it’s only because she was hoping for a touch of glamour in her own right. She’ll come round and be her usual cheerful self again.

  For what remains of dinner, I chat with the pleasant couple across from me. Every now and then I feel the Captain’s eyes on me, and when I glance his way he gives me a secret smile over the heads of Clara and the Admiral.

  As everyone peels away from the table — to go to the on-board theater, they say — the Captain gestures to me to remain. At last we are alone and he moves down to take a seat next to me, pulling the chair out and sitting down casually with his long legs stretched out and crossed at the ankle. He puts his arm round my shoulders as if to comfort me. “That wasn’t too bad, was it? Moira can look after Sukey for you every other night when it’s your turn to babysit. You’ll have to be at the bottom of my table, as I have several passengers whom it’s my job to make feel important. But on your night off, you can sit next to me because your aunt will be babysitting. She won’t be here to watch us.” He takes his hand away and caresses my cheek in passing. “Come, I think it’s time we left. We mustn’t overtax Moira’s indulgence. This is a long voyage.”

  He draws my chair out for me and gives a quick look round the room to see how many passengers are left. We are the last, and so he can put his arm round my waist and guide me out with his hand clasped possessively round my hipbone. He holds me like that, folded against him, until we reach the corridor to my cabin.

  Two doors up from our suite we pass a door marked “Linen”. He jerks to a stop, spins round and checks both ways. No one’s in sight. He opens the door and thrusts me inside, clicking on the light. I steady myself against a rack of shelves as I almost lose my balance.

  I must look startled for he laughs, “Sorry about that. Had to be quick. And don’t look so worried. I don’t have any evil intentions. I just need to kiss you.”

  He doesn’t have to tell me he has no evil intentions. I never feel scared of the Captain in that way.

  “I don't know what’s got into me,” he goes on. “I don't know which is worse not seeing you, or seeing you and not being able to touch you.”

  It’s a tight squeeze inside the cupboard and he is already touching me, his body against mine from head to foot. He places his hands on the shelf either side of my head.

  “Now, where did we leave off?” he jokes, as he surveys my face. “Here, I think.”

  He trails a ribbon of soft kisses from my chin to my ear. The touch of his lips sets my nerve endings alight and there’s a delicious stirring deep within me. I am astonished at my involuntary response. I never thought I could ever feel this way.

  “Or here?” He nibbles my ear and I bow my head. He chuckles and strokes his tongue behind my ear towards my nape where he mouth kisses me.

  The sensations he arouses in me make me wriggle with pleasure. It’s like being tickled, but it’s not childish. It’s sensual in a grown-up way. He rubs himself against me and inexperienced as I am, I can tell that he is aroused. In spite of myself, I find myself shrinking back against the rack.

  As if reading my thoughts, he says, “Merry, it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had it away with someone in this cupboard, but I made you a promise and I’m sticking to it, so relax and enjoy this.”

  I take a deep breath and decide I’ll feel less threatened if I take the initiative, be less passive. I put my hands on his chest and push him away, not to fend him off, but so that I can see his face. He quirks an eyebrow at me, “Feeling impatient, young Merry?”

  Smiling, I say, “I would like to kiss you but I can’t reach.”

  “That’s easily solved,” he says, and widens his stance. “What about that kiss then?”

  “Fair’s fair,” I answer, and gently stroke my lips along his jaw line and up to his ear, first on one side and then on the other.

  The Captain stands with his eyes shut, a look of rapture on his face. He sighs deeply. He loves what I’m doing to him, and my anxiety lessens as I discover what joy I can give. But he can’t stay still for long. He drops his arms around me and pulls me in close. His mouth is on mine, demanding my response which I give gladly. His tongue taunts and savages by turn. I never knew a kiss could last so long or be so pleasurably exhausting. We break away at last, panting softly, and stare into the darkened whirlpool of each other’s eyes. There is no blue, no brown, only an unfathomable yearning.

  He sweeps his hand up under my dress, grasps my thigh and lifts my leg up to hook it round his hip. I stagger at the unexpected movement, but he catches hold of me with his other hand and brings me in hard against him to kiss me again. He strokes my thigh, each caress climbing higher and higher. I tense with anticipation of his touch on my sex, half-wanting, half-fearing it, but his hand only reaches up inside my panties to cup my buttock, which he molds and kneads. Just when I think I can take the suspense no longer, he draws his hand out and runs it over my panties and down between my legs, startling me.

  I pull away a little, but the Captain murmurs in my ear, “Whoa there, there’s nothing to be afraid of. Stay with me.”

  The ease with which the fabric slips backwards and forwards beneath his fingers surprises me. I must be so wet, and I can’t ignore the tremors of pleasure his touch is evoking in me. My body is ready for this even if my mind is holding back. Willing myself to relax, I once again take a more active role and I cover his hand with mine.

  It’s the Captain’s turn to be taken unawares. He chuckles and withdraws his hand. “Merry, you’re so ready. I’m finding it difficult to remember what I said.”

  Holding my face in his hands, he kisses me lightly on the lips. “But a promise is a promise, and you’re worth more than a quickie in a cupboard your first time.”

  Part of me is disappointed, but I’m also relieved that I haven’t been tested too far this time. I feel I reached my limits. Any further and the gray mist could have made an appearance. If we take things one step at a time like this, maybe I’ll really be able to cope and keep it at bay.

  The Captain takes my hands in his and looks down at me with a tender half-smile. “Don’t look so serious, Meredith. We have plenty of time to explore each other. We don’t have to hurry.”

  I straighten my dress while the Captain opens the door and checks the passageway. He beckons me out. It’s only a few steps now to my cabin.

  When we reach the door the Captain takes my arm as I’m about to unlock the door. “I won’t be able to see you tomorrow, Meredith. It’s the First Officer’s turn to go ashore and I’ll be minding the ship.”

  Although I’ve been expecting that, and I’ll be spending the day with Sukey anyway, I can’t stop myself from drooping with disappointment.

  “Hey, it’s okay,” he says. “We’ll have dinner together tomorrow night. Cheer up!”

  I try to smile as I slide the plastic key in the lock. The door clicks open. The Captain pats me on butt and gives me a push into the cabin. “Sleep tight!”

  10 – Barcelona, Spain

  I’m up on deck again early to watch the Albion steam into Barcelona. I love the hustle and bustle of docking and take a silent pride in the Captain’s skill in maneuvering the great ship alongside the quay. The deep sea berths in Barcelona, as in Malaga, are once more cradled right up against the city, which lies stretched out before us in the early morning sun.

  How I wish I could go on the sightseeing tour with Clara. I’ve always wanted to see the unfinished Sagrada Familia Cathedral and Gaudi’s other quirky architectural masterpieces, but a day spent with Sukey will be rewarding in its own way. Barcelona is only a two-hour flight away from London and fares are cheap. I can visit any time. Barcelona isn’t going to vanish. Kate is spending the day with the gang and so it will be just Sukey and me

  I run down to the Hospitality Desk and ask for advice about a good day’s outing for a toddler and am given a schedule I think Sukey will enjoy: a visit to the aquarium which is a short walk from our ship, lunch back on board and a siesta, and then a stroll through the famous Las Ramblas.

  Sukey loves the aquarium, taking great delight in viewing the fish swimming above and around us, and returns to the ship a happy little girl. It’s warm enough for us to have lunch at the open air restaurant on the fore-deck.

  At four o’clock, complete with baby stroller, we board the shuttle bus en route to the foot of Las Ramblas. This street is much wider than the Calle Marqués de Larios in Malaga, but not as classy. Sukey walks and rides by turns as we ascend the long slowly climbing hill. We find a market on our left, the renowned La Boqueria, and spend a while browsing through the stalls of colorful Mediterranean vegetables and what is left of the strange sea creatures from the day’s catch.

  As we leave, we bump into Kate and the gang who are on their way to a café to have hot chocolate and churros. Sukey likes the sound of that so we join them. Sukey stuffs her little stomach with these Spanish donuts and falls fast asleep in her stroller. The gang disappear to continue their shopping and I saunter back down the hill to the ship, stopping at a bar for tapas and a cold beer while Sukey sleeps on in her stroller. I feel a little guilty about letting her sleep so long, knowing that Clara will be babysitting tonight and may have trouble getting the little one to settle down.

  *

  Clara’s late returning to the ship and I worry I’m going to miss my dinner with the Captain. It falls to me to put Sukey to bed, but I needn’t have been concerned as she falls fast asleep at once. I’m sitting on the end of her bed reading my book when Clara eventually comes in. Her eyes are glowing with excitement. She tells me she’s met a nice guy on the tour bus. I’m glad for her, and for me, as I’ve been fearing that she was too interested in my Captain.

  Dinner is half over by the time I reach the Captain’s table. The unfriendly Mrs Scott is sitting on his other side. She narrows her eyes when the Captain stands up to greet me. I’m not sure whether she recognizes me as the interloper at the kennels, or whether she is always this sour.

  She purses her lips when the Captain says he has been worried that Sukey might be ill and was on the point of sending up for news.

  “Sukey’s just a tired little girl. We had a wonderful day, but my aunt was late getting back to the ship. And you?”

  “Standard old boring day as Master of the largest old-style cruise liner in the business.” As Mrs Scott turns to help herself from the waiter’s tray, he adds in a whisper, “And missing you like hell. Coming to my cabin later?”

  I just have time to nod my agreement when Mrs Scott turns her attention back to the Captain. It’s clear as the meal progresses that she thinks he is her special property, and I am an extraneous nuisance. She must wonder what on earth I’m doing sitting next to the Captain. I marvel in silence at the Captain’s patience and good manners, as he fields Mrs Scott’s probing questions and thinly disguised sexual innuendos.

  At last we are on the final flight of stairs up to the Captain’s cabin, taking them two at a time in our hurry to be alone. As soon as the door closes behind us, the Captain sweeps me up in his arms and swings me in the air as if I were thistledown.

  “Merry, Merry, How I missed you,” he says, as he puts me down gently on the sofa in front of the window. “I could get used to evenings like this, a beautiful girl and a wonderful view. What can I get you to drink?”

  I shrug as I don’t drink often.

  “I know, champagne.” He strides over to a cupboard, pulls the door open to display a small fridge and removes a bottle of champagne. I cover my ears with my hands, but still flinch when the cork bursts out of the bottle.

  The Captain chuckles at me and pours us both a glass. He comes to join me on the sofa, handing me mine. We clink glasses to my “Cheers” and his “Down the hatch”, laughing at our different toasts.

  He holds my eyes with his for a few moments, lowers his glass to the table and unclasps my fingers from around mine.

  Offering me his hand, he coaxes me to my feet, saying, “Come and dance with me, Merry. I want to feel you close to me.”

  He leads me into the open space behind the sofa, switching off the lights on the way and clicking on a player. Soft romantic music spills out around us. The only light is from the shore where the city twinkles in the darkness.

  The Captain holds me so tightly that he transfers the rhythm of the music through his body to mine. Our shuffling steps match perfectly. His head rests on my shoulder and he nuzzles my ear. He smells divinely of musky male, strong and protective. It’s heaven. Our dance slows to a standstill. We stand swaying together, melded into one.

  He leans back and I feel him looking at me, his gaze intense and inquiring. I answer him by lifting up my face and offering him my lips. He takes my face in his hands and brushes his mouth against mine, sending shivers of delight running through me. He teases my lips open with his tongue, and I respond joining us in a long deep kiss. Tiny pangs of pleasure tighten my thighs and I feel myself melting as our kiss deepens. He leans back and I am bereft at the loss of contact, but he drops little kisses all over me. He slides one hand round my head to keep me still while he unzips the back of my dress with the other. My dress falls open at the back and a slight chill blows across my skin, raising goose bumps.

  I’m not wearing a bra and I tense unsure of where this is leading. So far it’s been wonderful and I am not at all scared or put off — no hint of the gray mist which usually stalks me. Quite the opposite. It feels good and right. I let my breath out slowly and try to relax.

  He eases my dress down to my waist. Instinctively, I cross my arms over my breasts, but he says, “Trust me, Meredith,” and takes my hands in his, lowering my arms to my side, keeping them there while he mouths my shoulder with soft lips. His tongue traces a line up my neck to my ear, licking away any lingering unease. He nips my earlobe. I flinch and half duck away, but he holds me steady.

  He brings my hands up coaxing me to caress my own skin until I am cupping my breasts. He holds them there within his own. My breasts respond to this dual touch by swelling and warming beneath my hands, the nipples standing out proud. I marvel at the sight and lean in towards him, wanting to dissolve in his arms, but he holds me away and kisses down to my nipple. He takes it in his mouth. I reach up on tiptoes to thrust my breast towards his suckling, little darts of pleasure homing in on his quest.

  A languor new to me steals over my limbs, causing me to totter and fall forward against him. He catches me and scooping me up, carries me over to the sofa where he lays me down with care. He draws me towards him, kisses me on the top of my head and props me with a cushion. He sits back and looks at me, a slight smile touching the corner of his mouth and his pupils dark and wide. A sudden sensation of vulnerability overcomes me and I struggle to sit up, but he quiets me by pushing me down again gently with his hands on my shoulders.

  He touches the tip of my nose with his finger and says, “You have no idea how beautiful you are with your pale breasts luminous in the moonlight. Lie still and let me adore you for a while.”

  A sensation of self-awareness ripples through me. His gaze on my neophyte form draws me into an unknown complicity, and I am growing wetter than I have ever been even in my wildest daydreams. I stretch my legs and arms like a cat on heat.

  He strokes up my leg and fingers aside my panties to touch me with a fingertip, skin on skin. But this is too much for me and I scoot backwards away from him, dislodging his hand. I draw my knees up and hug them to my naked breasts.

  “Whoa!” he gentles me by taking my hands and raising them to his lips. “Remember you are in control, Merry. If that is enough for you, it is my signal to stop.” He stands up. “I’ll get our glasses.”

  I wrench my dress back up feeling awkward, sit up and drop my legs back down to the floor.

  He hands me my drink and kisses me lightly on the lips before dropping to his knees on the floor in front of me. He slides my skirt up and when I don’t move, he eases my thighs apart, cups my buttocks with his hands and draws me towards him and nuzzles between my legs. I hold my breath, waiting for the gray mist to approach, but I’m surprised to find I’m fending it off. I ache for him to go further, but he mouths a kiss through my panties and pulls back to sit on his heels, looking up at me.

  “My God, Merry, I wish I weren’t so noble, but unfortunately I am.”

  He smoothes my skirt back down and takes my drink away from me for a moment. He slides my dress down my arms again, saying, “This is my consolation prize,” and he tongues my other nipple, and I let him.

  I stretch for my drink and he sits up again beside me and pulls me in tight against him, his left hand reaching round to clasp my breast while his fingers toy with my nipple. I lean in to him and turn to kiss him on the mouth. He takes hold of my hand and guides my glass up to his lips. He takes a mouthful of champagne and kisses me, pushing the champagne between my lips, and I swallow the fizzy drink of the gods.

 

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