Ghosts the complete seri.., p.36
Ghosts: The Complete Series, page 36
"There's no point," she says.
"He might be alive!" I say firmly.
"I stabbed him in the head," she says.
"We have to try," I say, getting up. "Come on. We'll wake Elise and we'll go over."
"No..." she says.
"You have to come and try to help him," I say. "Even if there's only a small chance. And you have to see what you did to him. You can't hide from this, Katie." I can't believe I'm having to tell her this. As if I don't already have enough problems, do I really have to try to help her work out what's right and what's wrong?
"You go," she says. "I can watch Elise for you -"
"No fucking way," I say.
She looks hurt. "You don't trust me?"
"No, I don't fucking trust you," I say. "Are you serious? You just admitted to stabbing your brother to death because you were lonely, and now you want me to let you watch over my sister? Are you fucking insane?"
She gets up and heads to the door. "Don't help," she says, turning to me with hatred in her tear-filled eyes. "I don't need your help. You don't understand. Just leave me alone and get on with your own stuff, okay? I don't need you standing there telling me what a bad person I am. I know that already. Just let me be by myself."
"We have to check on your brother," I say.
She shakes her head and walks out, leaving me standing there in shock. Is this the Katie who used to be my friend? The Katie who used to be so smart and so kind? It's as if she's gone completely off the deep end. I pause. Okay, maybe it's not true. Maybe she didn't kill him, maybe this is all some kind of cry for help. I'm not sure why a ghost would bother with a cry for help, but... I look over at the table and I see the large knife, and I realize with mounting horror that there's no way I can persuade myself that this isn't really happening.
Going through to Elise's room, I gently touch her shoulder. I'm still not used to being able to touch her again, and her skin feels so soft.
"Hey," I say, making a conscious effort to sound cool and composed, "we have to go somewhere. Can you come with me?"
She blinks her tired eyes. "Where?" she asks.
"Just somewhere," I say. "Just to check on something."
"It's not daytime yet," she says.
I look over at the window. The first rays of light are beginning to appear, but it's still far from being morning yet. "I know," I say, "but we'll be quick. We'll be back here soon."
"Can't I stay and sleep?" she asks, closing her eyes.
"No way," I say. " Come on."
She opens her eyes, sighs and gets up.
"I promise, you can sleep later," I say. Hell, it's not like I can think of anything else for her to do all day. I wait for her to get changed, and then I lead her through toward the kitchen door.
"What's that?" she shouts, seeing the bloody knife on the table. Damn, I should have hidden it. Rushing over, I grab the knife and quickly put it away in one of the cabinets. "Nothing," I say, smiling at her. "Nothing, honey. Let's go."
"Was someone hurt?" she asks as I usher her out into the cool morning air. It's still mostly dark and there aren't many signs of life on the streets.
"No, honey," I say, leading her out onto the sidewalk. "Now listen, Elise. You can't talk to me while we're walking. You have to just look like..." I pause. Fuck, there's no way to make it look like she's supposed to be out here walking about by herself. This is crazy. I sigh. "Just walk normally, and if anyone asks if you're okay, you say that you're walking to your grandma's house, okay?"
"I don't have a grandma," she says.
"I know," I say. Damn it, I wish we had a grandma, someone who could look after Elise. I look along the street. This is insane. Someone's gonna see a young girl walking alone at this time of day, and realize something's not right. I'm pretty sure the authorities think Elise was killed in the flood, and they've probably given up looking for her body by now. But I still have to be careful, I can't afford to lose her again.
We wander through the early morning streets, with the town waking up around us. The recent flood caused extensive damage, so local construction companies are working flat-out. A few tired workmen give Elise strange looks, and one asks her if she's okay, but she responds like a pro and there are no problems. Soon we're outside the house where Katie's brother Alex has been staying with a friend since his father died and their home burnt down.
"Wait here," I say to Elise, positioning her out of sight in the garden. "Don't follow me, okay? I'll be back in a couple of minutes."
She nods. She's still sleepy, and I feel bad dragging her out like this. But I couldn't leave her alone. "You can go back to bed when we get home," I say, although the word 'home' seems hopelessly out of place in this situation. The truth is, we don't have a home, and I don't see how we can get one.
I head into the house, passing straight through the wall. Because it's still early, no-one is up. Alex has been staying with a friend and his family, who have taken pity on him and are putting him up for a few days before he goes to live with his uncle out of state. As I head up the stairs, I realize that if Katie truly has killed Alex, the calm of this house is about to be broken when one of the residents finds the body. I stick my head through one of the walls and see two people, presumably the parents of the house, asleep.
Eventually I find the spare room where Alex has been sleeping. It's immediately clear that I'm too late. Blood from his head and chest has soaked into the bedsheets, and his eyes are part-way open, as if he just started to wake up when the blade went into his brain. Otherwise, the room is strangely peaceful and quiet, bathed in blue-tinged light from the blue curtains and the early morning sun. I stand and stare at the body. How did Katie ever believe that this would be the right thing to do? What the hell is wrong with her? I sigh. Things are getting out of hand.
I sit on the floor and look directly into Alex's eyes.
"I'm so sorry," I say, even though I know he can't hear me. His spirit is either long gone, or has woken up somewhere else in town. Either way, he's not here; all that's here is his body. "She should never have done this," I continue. "But she did it out of love. She got it totally wrong, but she loved you and..." I pause. There's nothing else to say, so I get up and leave the room. I head through to the parents' bedroom and look at them as they sleep. They look so peaceful, but soon they'll be screaming and calling the police and running wildly. I feel so bad for them, but there's nothing I can do to keep all of this from them.
I head downstairs and back out into the garden, where I find that Elise has fallen asleep next to a tree. I consider letting her sleep, but then I realize that when Alex's body is found this whole place will be crawling with cops.
"Come on," I say, rousing Elise gently. "We'll go home and you can sleep properly."
Elise doesn't say anything. She just gets up and we start heading home. As we get to the end of the street, we hear a horrific scream coming from the house where Alex has been staying. Elise looks back.
"It's nothing," I say. "Let's go." But as we walk away, I suddenly recognize a figure walking toward us. It's Alex, or at least his ghost. He stops as he sees us, and there's a look of shock on his face. "Alex..." I say.
"What the hell happened to me?" he asks. "Where's my fucking sister?"
Chapter Four
Edgar Keneally sleeps on the sofa in my office. Such a wretched man. I cannot understand how he could have murdered his entire family, even if I was slightly involved in the provocation. The truth is, Edgar Keneally is beyond salvation. He has fallen further than any man could ever fall, and I do not see that there is any way back for him. He has killed for money, and he has no remorse. He refuses to accept that he has committed a great wrong, and all he cares about is ensuring that his own life is as pleasant as possible. I'm sure the only reason he wants his remaining daughter Elise is so that he can sell her into prostitution, or worse. He is a truly despicable, decrepit man, and I can only hope that by bringing about justice, I can at least save that little girl.
Hearing a noise through in one of the other rooms, I head through and find Emily standing over the crib, watching Peter as he sleeps. Her belly still swollen with the second child, she looks like a harmless young woman. Few would look at her and see the truth that burns in her soul. "Good morning, Lucas," she says, smiling but not looking up at me. "How are you doing as a single parent?"
"I feel I'm doing as well as could be expected," I reply, which is true. Peter is an amazingly calm baby, preferring to sleep most of the time and having never once cried.
"It must be strange for him," Emily says, "being raised by a ghost." She turns to me. "I do hope you're not encouraging him to follow in your footsteps, Lucas. The last thing the world needs is another man like you."
I smile. "Should he instead take after his mother?"
"Good comeback," she replies. She sighs. "I suppose it would be best if little Peter ignores his parents and grows up under some other influence. And I suppose that at some point you will have to turn him over to the relevant authorities, who can ensure he is given better care in a foster home."
"At some point," I say, "but not just yet."
Emily laughs. "I never took you for the sentimental type, Lucas, but I can see that there's a soft spot in your heart."
"I want to protect him," I say. "From both of us. And that doesn't mean just throwing him out into the world with no protection."
Emily stares down at the child. "Perhaps he's stronger than you think," she says. She puts a hand on her belly. "And what about this one?"
I pause for a moment. "According to tradition," I say eventually, "one of these children should be filled with the power of hope, and one should be filled with the power of evil. I can only help one of them."
"And I'm supposed to help the other?" Emily asks.
"I do not know," I say.
Emily smiles. "You'll have to excuse me for a moment. I have to pee." She steps past me. "Being pregnant and all, my body's really quite unpredictable."
She walks through to the bathroom and I go over to Peter. He's sleeping so peacefully, completely unaware of the true nature of his mother and father. Emily is right. At some point, I'm going to have to turn him over to the authorities. He'll be raised by a loving family in the foster system, and I'll be able to watch over him and protect him, but he won't ever really know me. For most children, that would be a terrible thing, but for Peter it will be a blessing. Hopefully he can grow up and live a full life without ever knowing that his parents were such terrible people.
I hear the toilet flushing in the distance. I must be careful around Emily. She is confident, and that makes her both powerful and dangerous, though it also makes her more prone to making a mistake. As far as I can tell, there is only one way in which she can be defeated, and the odds of achieving success are slim. Nevertheless, I have no option but to try. After all, I need to try to make sure that there is a world for Peter to grow up in. Having a son changes my perspective completely.
Realizing that Emily should have come back through by now, I go into the other room to find her. I'm greeted by the appalling sight of her kneeling by the sofa, with Edgar Keneally's penis in her mouth. Edgar is grunting with pleasure, and Emily smiles as she glances up at me. I turn and go back in to Peter. There really seems to be no limit to Emily's determination to cause the maximum possible amount of damage and pain.
Peter gurgles and I step over to him. The child looks up at me, his eyes searching my face. He must wonder where his mother is, and why his only parent seems to be this tired old ghost.
"Don't worry," I say to him, "soon you'll have a real family." The truth is, I must think about giving Peter up in the next few days. Every day that he is with me is another day for him to stare up at me and see the evil in my eyes. I am corrupting my innocent son just by allowing him to see me.
"Excuse me," says Emily, entering the room. She wipes her lips, and then she reaches into the crib and picks Peter up.
"You can't take him," I say.
"I don't want to take him," she says, carrying him to the other side of the room and sitting in a chair. She lowers her dress and starts to breastfeed him. "I'm just being his mother. One time. It'll be good for him."
I want to tell her to stop, to pull Peter away from her. But I have to think of the child, and feeding from his mother might help him to feel more normal. After a few minutes, Emily finishes and puts Peter back in his crib.
"That was so strange," she says, and the look on her face suggests that she genuinely found the experience to be unusual and affecting. "I should go," she adds.
"You don't want a repeat performance?" asks Edgar Keneally, who has come through and is standing in the doorway with a dirty grin on his face. "If you want someone else to suck on your titty, I'm sure I could find some time in my busy schedule." He burps.
"Edgar," Emily says firmly, "you are quite possible the most pathetic human being I have ever encountered. And the fact that you seem to hold yourself in such high regard only adds to your obnoxiousness."
He sniffs and smiles. "Your loss," he says, before turning to me. "Come on, Lucas. It's nice sitting around getting my dick sucked, but I don't see you getting my money ready. I sure hope it's gonna be ready by tonight."
"It will be," I say. "Not long now."
"Fucking make sure," he replies before heading through to the bathroom.
"Are you going to give him what he wants?" Emily asks coldly.
I pause. "I'm going to give him what he asked for," I say. "Not quite the same thing, but close enough for a thug like him. I'm sure he'll be very happy, at least for a while."
Emily heads for the door. "I admire you, Lucas," she says, stopping and turning back to me. "The world is coming to an end, and you choose to spend your final days playing stupid games with morons like Edgar Keneally. Most people would want to spend that time with their loved ones, but... I guess you don't have any loved ones, do you?" She looks over at Peter. "I mean, he doesn't really count, does he? Because as soon as you're out of his life, Lucas, he'll forget all about you. To him, the word 'father' will just mean some random guy who donated his sperm." She smiles. "Then again, he probably won't live much longer. Like the rest of this filthy world, his days are numbered."
Once she's gone, I head back through to find Edgar Keneally, who has gone back to sleep on the sofa. He's happy: he got a blow-job, and he thinks he's going to make a whole stash of money later today. He also thinks he's going to get his hands on his one remaining family member. But he's going to get a lot more than he expects, because today is the day when Edgar Keneally is going to find out why he's really been put up to all these things. And as strange as it might seem, as I stand and watch this monster, my overwhelming feeling is that I pity him. This terrible man is going to find his whole world comes tumbling down, and the truth will become clear to him. And it's at that point that I will finally put my plan into action.
Chapter Five
I take Alex back to the abandoned house where Elise and I have been staying. Elise is tired, so I quickly put her to bed before checking on Alex, who seems confused and pretty shocked. The last time I saw him, he was happy-go-lucky and annoying, but the events of the past few days seem to have drawn a kind of sadness down over his face, and he seems much older and more mature. I guess that's not too surprising: after all, he's lost his sister, father and home in quick succession, and without any easy answers. And now he's dead too...
"This is all wrong," he says, staring out the window. "This is totally, totally fucked up."
"It takes time to get used to things like this," I say.
He shakes his head, tears in his eyes. "You can't get used to something like this. It's just crazy. The whole thing is insane, and... I don't get it."
"There's nothing to get," I say. I wait for him to reply, but he doesn't. "Listen," I continue, "I don't have all the answers. I don't even have any answers. I don't know why any of this happens, or why some of us come back and some of us just vanish, but once it happens, you just have to accept it."
"No," he says.
"I don't think you have a choice," I reply.
"I want answers," he says, turning to me, a determined look on his face. "I want to know what happened to my dad and to Katie. I want to know why our fucking house burnt down. I want to know..." He pauses. "Things don't happen without a reason. Stuff like this doesn't just happen by itself. It's more than a coincidence. It's like someone is doing it on purpose, to fuck up my entire family."
"I know it seems like that," I say. Hell, the truth is: he's right. His father's death is linked to Katie's death, and the fire is linked to both, and even worse things might be right around the corner. "Do you..." I pause, not sure how to phrase this next question. "How much do you remember from what happened?"
"Not much," he says. "But do you want to know the really crazy thing? I'm actually starting to wonder if maybe..." He looks away for a moment. "I'm glad I bumped into you," he says. "I was kind of thinking of doing something stupid."
"Like what?" I ask.
He sighs. "I don't know," he says. "I was sort of thinking of maybe... just ending it all."
I stare at him. How does a ghost try to commit suicide? Suddenly I realize: it's impossible, which means Alex doesn't know he's a ghost. He thinks he's alive. Like all people who die, he doesn't remember the moment of his death. He probably just woke up somewhere and figured he'd got drunk and passed out. It probably wasn't long after he woke up that he bumped into Elise and me, so he hadn't had time to figure out what was happening. And now here he is, not only not realizing that he's dead, but not knowing who killed him.
"Silly, huh?" he says, smiling sadly.
"No," I say. "But you have to -" I pause, not sure what to say. He has to find out that he's dead. It's just not possible to go on without realizing, and he'll find out pretty soon. But can I be the one to tell him? Can I actually say those words to him? And if I do, can I then explain how it happened? "You can't kill yourself," I say eventually, partly to buy myself time.
