The shadowed mind darkne.., p.1
The Shadowed Mind (Darkness and Destinies Book 1), page 1
Chapter List
Before
Jasper
Part 1
1 | Alyssa
2 | Dean
3 | Alyssa
4 | Dean
5 | Alyssa
6 | Dean
Part 2
7 | Alyssa
8 | Dean
9 | Alyssa
10 | Dean
11 | Alyssa
12 | Dean
Part 3
13 | Alyssa
14 | Dean
15 | Alyssa
16 | Dean
17 | Alyssa
18 | Dean
Part 4
19 | Alyssa
20 | Dean
21 | Alyssa
22 | Dean
23 | Alyssa
24 | Dean
Part 5
25 | Alyssa
26 | Dean
27 | Alyssa
28 | Dean
29 | Alyssa
30 | Dean
Copyright © 2023 B A Grime
All rights reserved.
All events, characters, places, and organisations in this book are completely fictional. Any resemblance to actual people is entirely coincidental.
For fifteen-year-old me
who sat in a room with her friends and promised to dedicate her first book to them.
We made it.
A letter from the author
This book was born from years of vibrant nightmares and vivid daydreams, from the fears of a frightened child who never really stopped being afraid. I created this story because at fifteen I was scared of falling asleep and now, at 23, I’m still scared of the shadows that lurk in dark corners. This book, this story, was a way to gain control of those fears; to turn those shadows into something that I created so that I would no longer be afraid of them.
- b.a.g
Before
“All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream.”
-Edgar Allen Poe, A Dream within a Dream
“We dream of places and people we have never known, yet feel like home”
-Fauna Lamonteau, A Brief History
“Our dreams are like lighthouses, carefully guiding us to a shore we’ve never seen”
-Sahlem Ashwind, Dreaming of Reality
“Our resting bodies are unaware and unaffected by the events that happen while they sleep”
-Fauna Lamonteau & Sahlem Ashwind, The Compendium of Ten
Jasper
Thunder rumbles ominously in the distance as he runs down the rain-darkened street, hands holding his old, leather messenger bag over his head to shield his face. His footsteps echo off the old warehouses around him as he splashes through the shallow puddles in his haste. He checks the watch strapped to his wrist and mutters a curse under his breath as he speeds up. He’s late. He rounds around a large, shadowed warehouse and his destination comes into view.
The old junkyard is lit up with a small bonfire that illuminates the skeletons of old trucks and broken-down machinery eerily, creating shadows that dance around each other making the darkness feel somehow alive. A tall chain link fence surrounds the scrap yard and once he reaches it, he easily finds the corner that has been pulled away from the metal poles enough times that it’s permanently warped and ducks his way inside.
“Jasper!” A friendly voice calls out to him as he comes into view of the group of people standing around the fire.
“I know, I know” He calls back as he hurries up to them, bending over with his hands on his knees as he finally reaches the warmth of the fire. “I got held up.”
A soft hand rests on the small of his back through his damp shirt. “It’s all right.” He looks up and smiles at the kind green eyes looking down at him. Dampened by the rain and illuminated in the firelight, Ellie's bright red hair is glowing in a way that makes it look like waves of magma falling over her shoulders. Behind her, Brian stands tall with his hands tucked deeply into the pockets of his muddied jeans. His deep, ochre skin is shadowed heavily by the firelight, making it even harder to understand his usually stoic expression. He lifts a hand from his pocket in a silent greeting which Jasper returns with a curt nod.
“Speak for yourself.” A gruff voice jests from the other side of the small fire. “I’m getting soaked over here.” Jasper looks up, and through the small flames, John’s figure looks even smaller than usual as he tucks his arms tightly to his sides in an attempt to keep dry. Next to him, the much larger form of Aro is laughing at John's discomfort, reaching the edge of his jacket out to shelter John’s head from the rain. The pout on John’s face, as he glares up at Aro, is comical as he shuffles closer to him to stay dry. Aro just smiles down at John fondly.
“Did you bring it?” The person on the other side of John, Sarah, asks excitedly, seemingly unbothered that her usually curly blonde hair has been flattened and darkened to a soft brown by the rain as she bounces from foot to foot. Next to her Jarad is also watching Jasper keenly from behind his wire-framed glasses, standing up on his toes as though that will help him see through the fire and into Jasper’s bag.
“I did,” Jasper speaks over the flames, reaching into his bag and carefully pulling out the large, heavy, leather-bound book. “My parents demanded a life catch-up as payment though.”
“They aren’t that bad.” Penny laughs from next to him as he hands the book over to her, her white hair that is slicked down to her face looking oddly like she has been caught in the snow rather than the rain. Her pale eyes run over the cover of the book eagerly, taking in every dip and crevice that make up its intricate design.
“You only say that because you didn't grow up with them.” Jasper groans and leans further into Ellie's hand on his back, looking at her over his shoulder and whispering a small private hello that is answered with a soft smile and an even softer kiss.
“No,” Penny argues without malice, and Jasper pulls his focus off of how Ellies features become cut from smooth marble in the firelight and back to Penny, “I say that because they feed me every time I see them.”
“That’s fair.” Another voice joins in. From the other side of Penny, Anika has looked up from her conversation with Steven, both of them smiling as they help tease Jasper. “Your Mum makes the best Oliebollen I’ve had since moving.” Her accent thickens noticeably on the foreign word and Jasper can see the fond smile John sends her way out of the corner of his eye.
“It’s a ball of fried dough” Steven quips lightly, snorting at the offended look Anika sends him. “I don’t think you could make it badly if you tried.”
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that for the sake of our friendship.” Anika feigns offense as she turns away from Steven, who simply laughs at the dramatics.
“Too bad that you’re stuck with me then.” Steven guffaws and Anika sends him a half-hearted glare before smiling brightly.
“Should we get started then?” Aro’s voice cuts in across the fire. His eyes flickering between the fond smile on John's face and Anika sadly.
“Yes,” Jasper clears his throat, leaving Ellie with a soft kiss on her forehead before making his way to his place between Penny and Anika. On the ground around the fire, five curved, overlapping lines had been drawn into the dirt with a large stick. At the end of each fork, two members stand close together in pairs, the lines that end at their feet connect them to one another in the circle; Jaspers’ line connects to Ellie, on her right, Brian’s line connects to John, to Johns right Aro’s connects to Jarad, on Jarad’s right Sarah’s line is connected to Anika, then to her right Steven’s links back to Penny who stands on Jaspers left.
The small bonfire sits in the middle of the starlike shape. Evenly spaced around the fire are small objects; a piece of wood, a bowl filled with dirt, a small chalice of water, a candle, an empty jar, a small vial of blood, a shard of metal, a helium balloon with ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ printed on the side, a plasma lamp, and a lump of coal.
“So, how do we do this then?” Brian pipes up, gruff voice shaking slightly, whether, from the biting cold or his excited nerves, Jasper doesn't know.
“Jasper's parents’ book outlines the ritual,” Jarad answers, greedily eyeing the book despite being on the opposite side of the fire from where Penny flipped through the weathered pages.
“It does” Penny replies in her soft airy tone that paired with her ghostly appearance, makes her all the more ethereal. “This book is amazing.” She whispers.
“What do we need to do?” Aro’s deep voice asks. He’s lowered his arm and is now looking at the fire with steely determination.
“Hold hands with your partner.” Penny reads out, voice projected enough to carry across the fire. Jasper reaches his left hand out to hold onto Penny’s right. Around the group he can see the others doing the same; Brian holds onto Ellie, Aro cautiously grips John’s hand, Sarah and Jarad happily link their fingers together, and Steven holds his hand out to Anika the way one would offer their hand to royalty.
“Close your eyes.” Penny recites and they all do, the glow of the fire flickers behind Jasper’s eyelids as he smiles in eager anticipation. “Focus on the connection with your partner; on how you’re strengths are heightened when together. Focus on your own power, where it resides inside of you. Focus on the fire and the elements surrounding it; allow yourself to open up to them. Breathe deeply and focus.” Jasper controls his breathing, using the breathing technique that he has practic ed to death over the years. He focuses on the feeling of Penny’s hand in his and feels the power surge between the two of them, he focuses on the power that lives in the back of his mind, he focuses on the feeling of the fire in front of him, letting the heat warm his skin, focuses on the elements lying around it and lets his mind circle through them, allowing them to focus on him all the same.
A searing sensation burns where his skin is touching Penny’s and his hand flinches from the pain, but it’s stuck in place. A few gasps and pained hisses echo around the group and Jasper concludes that they all felt the same thing.
“Focus” Penny whispers, but the words echo around Jasper’s mind, around the air surrounding him. The burning pain races down his arm and hits his chest, hard. A few more pained groans come from the group, one from Jasper himself. Jasper feels lighter. He can feel his feet slowly start to lift off of the ground, his toes scrambling against his will to find purchase but there is none to be gained as he is raised into the sky, his eyes still clamped tightly shut.
Penny's hand has risen with his, so he can only assume the rest of the group is being lifted as well. He really wishes he had read his parents' book more.
The cold air is whipping at his clothes, the dampness from the rain now icy where it rests against his skin. Jasper can feel himself shaking but ignores it as he feels the burning sensation growing in his chest. It’s almost painful but underneath the searing sensation he can feel the familiar pulsing of energy, this burning isn’t fire, it's power. And it’s not trying to hurt him it’s going to make him stronger. He feels the power growing inside of him, getting larger and larger until he can feel it at the tips of his toes and the crown of his head, the sensation makes goosebumps rise all over his body and he’s left feeling raw and tingly, the wind sharper against his skin yet somehow numb to the sensation.
Just as Jasper starts to find comfort in the feeling his stomach is thrown into his lungs. More accurately his body is dropped to the ground. The fall is further than Jasper had expected, and the impact in his legs reverberates through his body so harshly that his teeth clash together. Around him his friends are either groaning in pain or concerningly silent, they had been dropped too quickly for any of them to cry out. Jasper feels his body aching, his mind filling with fog, and the all too familiar sensation of losing consciousness washes over him.
He manages to peel his eyes open slightly. The light from the fire is almost too bright to bear, but he stares at it. He stares at it and smiles. Because despite the pain radiating through most of his body, the sensation of power has stayed. It lives within him now and he smiles as the inky blackness of unconsciousness smothers the fire in front of him. Shadows snuff out the light.
Part 1
“The Compendium of Ten: Rites, Rituals and Records by Fauna Lamonteau & Sahlem Ashwind is a comprehensive collation of information regarding Decuri, Decuria, their history and their power. This book will outline how Decuri gain their powers and the impact that having these powers can have on them. This book will also outline and guide you on how to perform several important rituals and ceremonies for Decuri.”
- Lamonteau & Ashwind, An Introductory
1 |
Alyssa
Alyssa really didn’t mean to set her school on fire. Technically – according to the police – she hadn’t, but the police weren’t in the room to see her hand ignite on its own in the middle of her science class, so they wouldn’t really know, would they? At first, she thought her sleeve had caught fire, but the Bunsen burner next to her wasn’t lit, so now … well, now she’s standing in the emergency assembly point with the rest of the school, watching as the fire department tries to gain control over the flames quickly spreading through the science block.
Alyssa and the rest of her science class had been led over to a makeshift nurse’s station where an ambulance was parked. Several of the students in Alyssa’s class had been burnt in the fire, some worse than others – her stomach churns with guilt when she sees a student crying as a nurse examines her arm, which is covered in blistering burns. Alyssa tries to stay at the back of the group and avoid the attention of the nurses as much as possible, but she knows it won’t last long. At some point, one of her classmates is going to mention that the fire had started right next to Alyssa, and people will swarm around her trying to find burns. She won’t be able to explain why she doesn’t have any.
That detail is something she’s still trying to wrap her head around; every time she tries to go through the series of events that led to the fire, she always comes back to: My arm set itself on fire. She can’t understand it, there has to have been something else that caused the fire, but even as she goes through all the other possibilities, the fact that there are no burns on her skin, despite the left sleeve of her jacket being singed off up to her elbow, doesn’t make sense either.
“Alyssa,” she hears distantly, her mind still reeling. “Alyssa,” the voice comes more clearly and with the addition of a warm hand on her shoulder. She blinks as her eyes focus on the person standing before her. For a moment, she thinks someone placed a mirror in front of her; familiar red hair and green eyes stare back at her with concern. Ivory skin, with a straight nose and a thin mouth that is curved down at the ends with a concerned frown. Then Alyssa notices the creases of worry that have worn down the skin around the eyes, born from years Alyssa hasn’t lived yet, and the sharpness of the features that are still hidden by the youthful softness on Alyssa’s face. Alyssa blinks rapidly, and the image of her mother starts to become clearer; while they are similar in height, Alyssa’s mother has a narrower frame; where Alyssa is soft and round, her mother is sharp and slender, where Alyssa’s shoulders broaden through her back her mother’s drape delicately. Finally, she notices the delicate gold chain her mother never takes off, the small, spherical pendant made of Lapis Lazuli secured in the center.
“Mom?” she reaches up to rest a shaky hand on top of her mother’s. “What are you doing here?” Her mother is wearing her teal work scrubs, an old, knitted cardigan hastily placed over the top, and her hair is tied up in the tight knot she wears to work.
“The school called and said there had been a fire,” now that she knows she has Alyssa’s attention, her mother has started fussing over Alyssa, looking for any sign of injury. “I got someone to cover the rest of my shift and came straight here. Are you okay?” Alyssa’s mother now has Alyssa’s cheeks firmly grasped in her two hands, squishing her mouth and making it difficult to speak.
“’m f’ne,” she slurs, and her mother lets go of her face, moving her hands instead to fuss at and straighten her school uniform. She stops at the sleeves of Alyssa’s jacket, holding the charred ends between her fingers. The concern in her eyes darkens as she takes in the lack of burns beneath the fabric. “I told you; I’m fine,” Alyssa repeats as if saying it enough times will make the strange sinking feeling in her stomach disappear.
“This isn’t fine, Alyssa,” her mother says; her voice is lower than Alyssa has ever heard it, and fear is audible in the shakiness of her lungs. “Take this off. We need to get you out of here.”
“They said we can’t leave until we’ve all been examined,” Alyssa relays the instructions that the nurses gave her class as she removes her jacket with the help of her mother’s frantic hands.
“I can change that,” her mother says, folding up Alyssa’s jacket and gently taking her hand, leading her over to where Alyssa’s science teacher is holding a clipboard and a megaphone, going through the list of students waiting to be looked at by the nurses.
“Ms. Lapwing,” Alyssa’s teacher greets, somewhat confused. “What are you doing here? I don’t believe we contacted parents yet.” Her teacher casts an accusatory glance over to Alyssa, who simply shrugs distractedly, the sounds of pain coming from her classmates making it hard to focus on what she’s saying.
“I got a call from a friend who works here,” her mother clarifies. The shakiness of her voice is replaced with a professional calmness. “I didn’t realize that wasn’t an official call from the school. Sorry if it throws off any systems, but I’m here to sign Alyssa out.”
