I couldn’t respond as I watched her get in her car. She waved, started her engine, and then backed out of the driveway, leaving me standing there with my mind spinning and my body aching for a woman I had once thought lost forever to me.

  TWELVE

  Dinner that night had been its usual messy affair. Mom and I would both be glad when Sarah got a better handle on forks, spoons, and a plate.

  Mom made meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans. Sarah was proving to be just like her mother; she hated green beans. Even with Mom and I both closely watching her, for every bean that made its way into her mouth, two more seemed to end up dropped to the floor, or hidden under her plate.

  However, mashed potatoes ranked right up there with mac and cheese and spaghetti on Sarah’s list of approved foods. Especially when Mom served them with meatloaf and gravy. Sarah would build mashed potato houses on top of her meatloaf and smash them and the meatloaf into a mush like Godzilla stomping across Tokyo. Then she’d have me pour gravy on it and dig into it like it was candy.

  Because of scenes like this, dinner was always followed by bath time. One of the upgrades we had done for Sarah was to combine the two small bedrooms on her end of the house into one and add a big bathroom with a good size tub and a huge shower. Might be overkill now, but as she got older, it would be an awesome teen suite for her.

  As Sarah sat splashing in the water, I squirted a blob of shampoo into my hand and then rubbed it all over her head. Once I had the shampoo on, Sarah attempted to wash her hair. Some nights it was a couple of scrubs with her little hands, and she was then back to focusing on her rubber ducks. Then I could finish washing and rinsing her hair. She loved the rinse part, especially because she could try to blow bubbles.

  But, for the majority of nights, my attempt to wash her hair was met with a resounding ‘I do it myself.’ That was becoming her normal response to anything we tried to help her with.

  Little Miss Independent.

  Tonight was no different. But she was already back to playing with her ducks.

  I placed her little pink washcloth in her hand and squirted some soap on it. She started washing her belly and chest herself while I picked up where she had left off on the hair.

  “Unka J, can Juweah come back and play?” she asked, plopping her washcloth into the water and then squeezing it all back in the tub.

  “Sure, Bug,” I replied, pulling her curls up into a small ball to make sure to keep the soap off the front of her head.

  “Tahmorrow?”

  “Well, she might be busy tomorrow.”

  “You gotta ask, Unka J. I like coloring wid her.”

  “Okay, Bug. I’ll ask her.”

  “Promise, Unka J?” she asked, staring up at me with those excited little eyes, virtually guaranteeing that she would get what she wanted.

  “Promise, Bug,” I replied, daubing the end of her nose with a huge glob of bubbles. She laughed and blew them back up at me.

  When story time was all done, I kissed her sleepy head and left her room, leaving her door open a crack so we could hear her easily if she cried out. I wandered back out to the front room to find Mom sitting on the couch, reading a book. I grabbed a beer from the fridge and plopped down on the other end of the couch. Setting the beer down, I let my head lay back on the couch and started going over the day.

  I had never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would be telling Julia about Brandy or reliving that pain again. Then again, I had not imagined holding Julia in my arms again. Not once, but twice. And seeing her so happy with Daisy made me feel good. Maybe there really was something to this, letting the hurt and anger go.

  But what did that mean for me and Julia? Could there be an ‘us’ again?

  It was obvious Sarah already adored her, but could I take the chance that she would get attached to Julia? Julia said she had some purpose she was pursuing and who knew where that would take her. If things didn’t work out, how would I explain to a two-year-old why her new friend wasn’t coming around anymore?

  I must have eventually dozed off. A small rumble of thunder woke me up. Scrubbing my face, I listened to the sounds of the storm outside. A flash of light illuminated the front room as lighting raced across the sky. The accompanying thunder was dying away when my phone pinged with an incoming text. I pulled up the message, the light from the screen glaring like a flashlight in the dark room. I felt a small rush of adrenaline when I saw Julia’s number on the glass.

  Julia: Hey, just wanted to thank you again for today.

  Being that I could never get my thumbs to work well on the tiny keys of my phone, it took me a few seconds to get a response out.

  Jake: Me too. Sarah really liked playing with you.

  Hitting send, I found my heart racing a little faster, eagerly awaiting the response.

  Julia: She is so adorable. I loved spending time with her… and you.

  Jake: She made me promise to ask you over again to color.

  Julia: Well, I would love to do that, but I remember that part of your talk about protecting her and not wanting her to get attached.

  I paused for a moment, the words from earlier today springing forward. Surprisingly, I didn’t feel the same about those words when it was Julia I was thinking about. I started typing again on the small keyboard.

  Jake: I’m okay with it. Sarah doesn’t connect to people and is normally shy. She wasn’t with you. Can you come back for lunch tomorrow?

  Waiting for a return text was giving me flashbacks to asking her out that first time back in high school. I had been a nervous wreck then too. I jumped a bit when the next text pinged.

  Julia: I would love to! How about I bring a couple of pizzas? What kind does she like?

  Jake: She just likes cheese. Do you remember what I like?

  Julia: Of course I do. I’ll be there at 11, if that works?

  Jake: Sure, I’ll let Sarah and Mom know.

  Julia: Great. See you both tomorrow. Night, Jay.

  Jake: Good night, Jules.

  I kept staring at my phone long after the screen locked and went blank. What was I doing? This was my ex. The one who left me. But she was provoked to leave. And if I was being honest with myself, I had already forgiven her. It felt good talking with her today, not to mention holding her. It had definitely been nice to hold her.

  Crap.

  My thoughts just wouldn’t settle down.

  Draining my beer, I pulled myself up off the couch and headed off to bed. Hopefully, I would only spend a few hours staring at the ceiling.

  Breakfast was almost done when Sarah reminded me that females, even small ones, never forget anything.

  “Unka J, did you ask Juweah if she play wid me? Huh? You promised me. Did you? Huh?”

  I had to laugh at her excitement. “Well, as a matter of fact, I did. She said that she could come over at lunchtime today and that she would bring pizza.”

  Sarah threw her arms up at me as she began bouncing in her chair. I eagerly scooped her up, and she hugged my neck before kissing me multiple times on my cheek. Of course, she did that when she had just finished a breakfast of syrup with some waffles added.

  I pulled her down to my hip as she began chanting Julia’s name.

  “All right, Bug, settle down. Now, do you need help putting on your clothes?”

  “I can do it myself, Unka J. I a big girl now.”

  I set her down and then washed her face and hands. I watched this girl like a hawk while she was eating and somehow she still managed to get syrup in her ears. Finished with the de-syruping, she scooted off to her bedroom. Given how things normally went, she would wait about twenty minutes before asking for help or she would come out with her shirt stuck around one arm and her head, and her bottoms on backwards.

  I turned to find Mom standing at the sink, staring at me, her eyes slightly squinty.

  “So, Julia’s coming over for lunch. Two days in a row. Anything I should know?” she asked, flipping her dish towel over her shoulder.

  I shook my head. “Not really. We had a good talk yesterday. She wanted to know about Brandy and John, so I told her.”

  Mom just fixed me with her famous ‘Mom glare’ as she peered into my soul and began cataloging all my faults and lies, adding them to the running list I am sure all moms maintain about their kids.

  She crossed her arms and leaned against the sink, still staring.

  “What’s going on in that head of yours?” she asked.

  I held up a hand. “Hey, I’m trying to do what you asked me to do.”

  That got an eyebrow raise.

  “Look,” I stated. “You sent me up to the camp with that letter and asked me to set aside anger and hurt. Then we talked to the doctor. Then she apologized, not once or twice, but three times.”

  I took a deep breath. “So… I listened to you and her doctor, and I listened to her. She wasn’t lying; she wasn’t evading anything I asked her. So, as I saw it, the right thing to do was to forgive her.”

  Mom gave a sharp intake of breath and stood up off the counter. She crossed the kitchen to look up at me, trying to see whatever it was that moms are looking for when they search your face.

  After a few moments, evidently satisfied with what she saw, she nodded her head slowly.

  “Okay. I just hope you know what you’re doing.”

  I shook my head, chuckling softly. “I wish I did, but I’m flying blind here.”

  A muffled little voice interrupted us.

  “Gamma, help.”

  We both turned to see Sarah standing in the doorway with a shirt half over her head and her pants on backwards. Barely holding in a laugh, I left Mom to handle the clothing emergency and headed out to the barn.

  It was a good summer day. A light wind was rustling the leaves on the trees, and that same wind carried the scent of farm life back to me. The gravel crunched under my boots as I made my way up the path and into the barn proper. Two or three horses stuck their heads out of their stall doors to watch me, ears twitching. I ran into Jason near the tack room as he was dumping a new bag of sweet feed into a banged-up metal garbage can. He put the lid back on the can and then fastened down several clamps to secure it. We needed the clamps to keep the intelligent little trash pandas from gorging on our expensive horse food.

  “Anything I need to know?” I asked him.

  “Nope, not really,” he replied, picking up the empty bag, folding it, and sticking it under one arm.

  “I’m checking the back pastures this afternoon. Oh, and I left reminders on two of the stalls that the owners need to get them mucked out.”

  I nodded at his update. “I’ll put a reminder on the board for everyone. When’s Mark scheduled to be here?”

  “I think next week. Can’t remember if it was Tuesday or Wednesday.”

  “How many were signed up on the board for farrier time?”

  “I think there were eight owners and I’ve got all four of the rescues slated. I think I remember you saying you wanted them barefoot?” he asked.

  I nodded but explained once I saw the puzzled look on his face.

  “I make it a habit not to shoe the rescues if we can avoid it. Barefoot trims are cheaper and work fine until they go to a new home. Then the new owner can make the call if they want to put shoes on or not.”

  Realization crossed his face. “Fair enough,” he said.

  Updates done, Jason headed out to check on pastures and fence lines. We had a small storm pop up overnight last night and had to make sure the wind didn’t drop a new limb or small tree onto the fence. Broken fences meant loose horses, and we didn’t want to have to chase horses.

  I spent a couple hours checking out various horses for general health and such. Two of the horses could use a trim and were not on the list for next week. I texted Mom and asked her to contact the owners and let them know we were adding them to the list before I updated the barn board.

  Our general rule was to add the cost of the farrier work to their monthly board. That way, Mark got paid for his work when he was finished and the horse’s feet got taken care of. Arguments over money were handled between Mom or me and the owners.

  I stepped over to the side pasture and looked for Drago. He and Daisy were at the far end near the tree line, taking advantage of the shade. I pulled a small whistle from my jeans pocket and gave one long blast, followed by two shorter ones. I could see both heads come up as they began trotting my way.

  It was a neat trick for getting them in from any pasture. It had taken me and Julia about a month to get both horses trained, but it was time well spent. I enjoyed not having to chase them down like I had to do with some of the boarders’ horses.

  I waited patiently till Drago and Daisy came trotting up and paused at the side fence, throwing their heads and snorting as they waited. They knew what was coming.

  I reached in my shirt pocket and pulled out four wrapped peppermint balls. Unwrapping the hard candies, I gave each horse two, laughing as they crunched the sweet treats and wrinkled their noses at the taste. I opened the gate and called out for Drago, who trotted out and started grazing on the grass nearby. I closed the gate on Daisy and then slipped a halter over Drago’s head.

  I led him over to the tie up near the barn opening and tied the lead rope into a quick-release knot. Pulling out the hoof pick I usually carried in my back pocket, I worked my way through his feet, picking at bits of rock and mud. Several times, I had to swat his head away as he attempted to nip my hat off my head.

  Satisfied his feet were good, I grabbed a curry comb and began working on his coat.

  I’d run over his coat with about a dozen strokes when my phone rang. I dropped the curry comb and pulled my phone from my pocket. Glancing at the screen, I was surprised to see it was my lawyer. A small sense of unease crept into my gut. I clicked the call button, dreading the words I was about to hear.

  “Hello, Mr. Birdman.”

  “Hello Jake. Do you have a few moments?” His tone seemed friendly enough, but it didn’t ease my tension.

  I ran my hand nervously across Drago’s back, raising a cloud of dust that danced in the sunlight. “Sure. Is, um, is everything okay?”

  Surprise entered his voice. “What? Oh, yes, for the most part. We just haven’t talked in a bit, so I wanted to bring you up to date.”

  I felt a sense of relief wash over me. An update. It couldn’t be bad if it was just an update. “Okay, shoot.”

  “Well, Mr. Peterson’s lawyers have been busy, I’ll give them that. Unfortunately, they’re not getting much traction in the courts. Every challenge to the will has been rebuked. Both you and your mom are stellar citizens, pay your taxes, etc. So, there’s nothing there for them to grab onto.”

  He chuckled before continuing.

  “God, I can only imagine the hours they are billing him, but, that’s between them.”

  Then his tone got a bit more serious. “Jake, it goes without saying, but you need to make sure to stay out of trouble until this blows through. Don’t give them any ammunition to use against you, clear? Not so much as a parking ticket.” He paused, waiting for my reply.

  I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. “I understand, Mr. Birdman.”

  I could hear the pleased tone in his voice. “Good. Good. Well, gotta go file a few motions to cause the enemy some more confusion. Goodbye, Jake.”

  “Bye.”

  I clicked end on the call and returned it to my pocket. I took a deep breath and blew it out, willing my heartrate back to normal. This whole mess with the Petersons was always at the back of my mind, always lurking there, a threat to me and Sarah.

  A car horn pulled me out of my thoughts. I straightened up and glanced down at the house to see Julia getting out of her car. Checking my watch, I noted she was about an hour or so early.

  Daisy’s nickers told me that she had spied Julia as well. Julia looked up toward the barn and waved. She then pulled a large and small box out of the back of her car and walked over to the back door. A moment or two later, the door opened, and I could see Mom standing there. I laughed as I heard a small shriek of “Juweah!” come drifting up my way. I turned back to currying Drago.

  A minute or two later, I heard Sarah’s excited voice again. I glanced over Drago’s back to see Julia and Sarah walking up the path to the barn. Julia was holding Sarah’s hand as the little bundle of energy bounced and skipped her way along the gravel.

  I felt my heart clench as I watched them. They looked good together, and it just brought to the front of my mind the plans Julia and I had made for our own family. I shoved those thoughts back down as the two laughed at something Sarah must have said.

  Julia was wearing jeans and an old UC T-shirt today. Something plucked at the back of my mind about that shirt. Then I remembered. It was the same shirt she used to wear when we were spending time together in the evening relaxing, watching a movie or some random TV show.

  The boots were gone, and I didn’t need to look too close to know she would be wearing black Reeboks. She always said they were the only tennis shoes to fit her feet well.

  I stepped around Drago, rubbing his flanks as they got closer. Julia had taken half a step before she realized that Sarah had dropped her hand and stopped on the pathway. She looked up at me as I walked to them, proud of my niece. I nodded to Julia and pointed to her right, where a white flag was planted on the side of the path. Its twin was on the other side.

  Julia looked even more puzzled as I reached and scooped Sarah up. She was so excited she was bouncing on my hip.

  “Unka J! Juweah brought pessa!”

  Julia was still looking at me with an odd expression on her face. I point over to the flags.

  “Sarah’s not allowed past the flags without me or Mom with her, right, Bug?”

  Sarah was nodding her head quickly.

  “I stopped, Unka J. You see? I not go past white flags.”

  I bopped the end of her nose with my knuckle.

  “You did great, Bug.”

  Julia laughed and reached out to rub Sarah’s shoulder.

  “Smart idea, and you are a smart little girl.”

 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27