It was a bit late now, I thought, as images of a desperately hungry circus troupe came into my mind, standing huddled under show lights as an audience threw crusts of bread at them.

  I didn’t know what I’d expected when we’d arrived at the island, but after the food had been eaten, Argento stood and said it was time for us to depart. It was an abrupt ending and I couldn’t help feeling an odd sense of anticlimax as we said goodbye to Nita, who remained at the table, running her hands through her golden hair, as if preoccupied with other thoughts. As I stood to go, however, she spoke again, looking straight at me. ‘Do say hello to your brother. He was very nice to me the other day. I’d love to see him again, if he too was free to visit.’ I just nodded and said I’d ask him.

  When we got to the wooden dock where the boat was moored and waiting, you thanked Argento and climbed aboard. I was about to do the same, when he said something that made me freeze.

  ‘I have a message for your father.’

  I turned around and looked at him. I noticed you had stopped too. Nobody said anything for a long moment.

  ‘My…my father?’ I asked. It took me by surprise, momentarily forgetting the connection he had to him.

  ‘Yes,’ Argento said, ‘please could you tell him that I’m waiting.’

  I opened my mouth, then paused, sure there must be something more to it than that. When Argento didn’t continue, I asked ‘Just that?’

  He gave a single nod. ‘Just that.’

  ‘I’ll…I’ll tell him,’ I said, wishing I had been given a less ambiguous message. Then something crossed my mind.

  ‘Should I mention this place?’ I wasn’t sure why I was asking permission. Perhaps because I hadn’t involved my family in my plans, it had become a secret – a secret I should continue keeping.

  ‘That is up to you,’ he said. ‘If it makes things easier, you can tell him we met on the seafront outside a café by chance. That is, after all, the truth, is it not?’ He smiled, then took a step closer and said, ‘It was nice to see people using that cove. It remains empty for much of the summer. I often go there to meditate and I was pleased to see you and Alastair there.’

  I felt a blush start to spread over my face, and felt embarrassed, ‘You…you saw us…’

  ‘Oh, I see everything that happens around here. I’m always watching, you see. Promise me you’ll come back and visit next weekend. Same arrangement. And bring your brother, too. It seems Nita has been quite taken with him. And she deserves a few more amusements before her time on this island comes to an end. For we all must enjoy what we have while it lasts. Make sure you both remember that.’ He nodded at me, then looked over to you, already on the boat, waiting to leave.

  I wasn’t sure what else to say, so chose not to speak. I just nodded back and stepped into the boat, my mind in a spin.

  Chapter Thirteen

  THEN

  We didn’t speak on the boat ride back. The old man didn’t try to make conversation apart from once, when he pointed at the sea, where the water appeared to be moving strangely – bubbling almost – and started to say something in Greek that I didn’t understand. Eventually, he just said, ‘Fish. Lots.’ I nodded, barely registering any interest.

  After our time on the island, it felt as if our relationship had been stepped up in some way. It was almost as if Argento’s words had given us permission to carry on this adventure we were on. This adventure with each other.

  I wondered if I should go back to the family villa straightaway, to pass on Argento’s message to my father. But that was an experience I decided was best tackled in daylight, if I chose to go through with it at all. I was still uneasy about him knowing I was attending meals hosted by his business acquaintances without him knowing.

  So I followed you back to the quiet darkness of your hostel. You kissed me as I was about to take off my shirt. You helped me do it, unbuttoning it, firmly but not roughly, and setting it aside before kissing me again. I kissed you back. Everything was slow at first. Like the night was taking in a deep, long breath. Then the sudden exhale – the two of us drawing apart, rushing to get the rest of our clothes off, falling back onto your bed, together, as one.

  Afterwards, all I could hear was the sound of the waves from beyond the window and the beating of our hearts. We lay on our backs, my arm over your shoulder. My mind seemed to have divided into two streams. One was full of questions. Were we headed for a full-on relationship? Would you become my boyfriend? Or was this a summer fling for you? Would you discard me once the novelty had worn off? At the same time, the other stream of thinking was pure bliss. A bliss that loved the feeling of your hand resting somewhere above my left knee. The feeling of your hair brushing against my wrist as you lay, relaxed in my embrace. The feeling that we might be able to do that all over again very soon.

  As if you could read my thoughts, you turned over so you could see me properly. ‘I want to do this with you for ever,’ I said. ‘Every day, every moment, every second of my life.’ I didn’t care how intense it sounded, how presumptuous it might seem. You didn’t seem alarmed, but didn’t say anything – just kissed me deeply, then gently pulled away, smiling at me as you did so, brushing my cheek with the palm of your hand. ‘Will your family be missing you?’

  I looked up, taken aback. You had rarely asked about my family, and I’d got the feeling you didn’t have much interest in my life outside of us. Perhaps you had heard the message Argento had asked me to pass on, I thought. ‘No. Well, they might. But as we’ve already established, I’m an adult,’ I said, playfully kissing his shoulder, ‘capable of making adult decisions.’ I kissed your neck, then up to your cheek.

  ‘It was touch and go whether I’d even make it to Greece,’ I said. ‘I overslept the morning we were coming here. Almost missed the flight. My dad and I had a disagreement the night before. I had some old school friends over for a few drinks and it turned into more of a party than a gathering.’

  ‘You don’t seem like the partying type,’ you said.

  I didn’t know whether to be offended by this or not. But it was a fair comment, I decided. ‘Yeah, well…I’d just returned from uni and was keen to make sure this summer didn’t become…I don’t know…just like any of the other summers. It was a while since I’d seen everyone, so I tried to liven things up. But I’m pleased I wasn’t left behind. I’m pleased I got on the plane.’

  You met my eye. Smiled that small, bewitching smile that never failed to quicken my heart rate. ‘I’m pleased too,’ you said.

  Much as I wanted to spend the next day with you, I decided I should spend some time at the villa with my family. When I let myself in, I could hear Dad having a heated phone call in one of the downstairs rooms, the door closed. I made my way through the large glass doors at the back of the villa to find my mother lounging by the pool, as usual, flicking through one of her magazines, an irritated look on her face.

  ‘I’m back,’ I said, then immediately regretted my choice of words, in case they placed too much emphasis on the fact I had been gone.

  ‘Nice of you to bother,’ my mother said with a sniff.

  ‘Come on, don’t be like that,’ I said with a sigh, letting myself drop into one of the sun loungers next to her. The gentle sound of the trees swaying in the breeze could have sent me right back off to sleep. But my mother’s voice cut through the tranquillity.

  ‘What did you think we’d be like? I think we’re very understanding, very…very…modern with you and your activities and believe me when I say it, it’s taken some convincing behind the scenes to bring your father on board. But there is a limit, you know.’

  ‘Sorry, what?’ I asked, confused.

  ‘Your father saw you. You were on the beach meeting a man…kissing him. Brazenly, in daylight.’

  Even though part of me was rather mortified to learn this, I couldn’t help but half-laugh, half-splutter in indignation at my mother’s words.

  ‘Brazenly? Mum, you do know this is 1997, not 1957.’

  She closed her magazine with as much of a snap as its flimsy pages would allow. ‘We are abroad,’ she hissed. ‘This isn’t England, this is…’ She trailed off as Achilles wandered into view, setting a plate of small cakes down on the wicker table next to my mother. ‘For your enjoyment,’ he smiled, then walked off.

  I looked down at the cakes. ‘Does he just do this all day, everyday?’ I asked.

  ‘That’s what he’s paid to do,’ she said, still sounding cross, reaching for a cake.

  ‘And you don’t worry about…I don’t know…becoming diabetic.’

  I knew I’d said the wrong thing as soon as my mother’s eyes flared. Health concerns were one of her ‘things’ and it was enough to make her drop the cake on the plate and hurriedly swallow the mouthful she’d taken. ‘What a horrible thing to say! Are you suggesting I’m overeating? That I’m overweight?’

  ‘Well, no, you’re not—’

  ‘I can’t believe you’d be so…so…’

  ‘What’s going on?’ My father’s voice echoed from the doorway behind us.

  ‘Oliver was just telling me how I’m…I’m…ballooning.’

  ‘I didn’t say anything of the—’

  ‘It certainly sounded like that to me.’

  Dad frowned. ‘Why would you say that to your mother, Oliver?’

  I stood up, outraged, ‘You’re believing her?’ I looked around, but there was nobody to back me up. ‘Where’s Douglas?’ I asked, suddenly noticing his absence.

  ‘Swimming,’ Mum said. ‘Alone, because you’ve abandoned him. And don’t change the subject.’

  ‘I haven’t abandoned him,’ I said, regretting my decision to come back at all, wishing I’d just spent the day away.

  ‘Well, I rather think you have,’ my father said, folding his arms. ‘We don’t know what’s going on with you, lately. Never know where you are, who you’re…spending time with.’

  ‘He’s going off the rails,’ my mother said, reaching again for a cake, apparently the fear of limb amputation now a distant memory, ‘It happened to Timmy Baythorne’s son. He found him with drugs. Prostitutes and drugs.’

  ‘I haven’t been taking drugs, or mixing with prostitutes,’ I snapped back, then something occurred to me. ‘In fact, if you’re worried about the latter, you should talk to your other son.’

  ‘What does that mean?’ My father frowned.

  I’d planned on picking my words carefully around this subject, but I’d become so riled up that any sense of caution had gone out the window. ‘Well, Douglas is the one lusting after that Nita your business friend is paying. She’s an escort, didn’t you know? Oh, and Argento has a message for you. He says he’s waiting, whatever the fuck that means.’

  I turn to go.

  ‘Steady on there,’ Dad called out to me. ‘What do you mean he’s waiting? How do you…who…where did you…’

  He trailed off. I paused trying to steady my breath and calm myself down. ‘I just…bumped into him,’ I said, flatly.

  ‘When?’ Dad barked, his face growing pale.

  ‘Last night. Near…near the sea.’

  It wasn’t entirely a lie, although far from the whole story, and I think my father could tell I wasn’t being entirely forthcoming. He stared at me for a few seconds, then nodded. ‘Very well. I’ll see to it.’

  He blustered off, back into the villa.

  ‘You’ve upset him,’ my mother said, tutting.

  ‘Well, that makes a change,’ I muttered back, and went inside, planning to sulk in my room.

  It was later that evening when the phone call came. I’d mooched about most of the day, picking up books and putting them down again, trying to keep to my room as much as possible. When I went downstairs, feeling hungry, I saw that Dad was trying to get the barbecue going, with Achilles standing patiently next to him holding a tray of meat ready to be cooked.

  As I was on my way I heard a ringing coming from the living room. I looked inside to see my father’s mobile on the coffee table. I picked it up, answered and said, ‘Hi, sorry, can you hold for a sec.’ I went back out to the corridor and called out ‘Dad! Phone!’, but he didn’t hear, so I shouted ‘Dad!’ again, going to the doorway.

  ‘What?’ he yelled back. ‘Just wait a moment!’

  Fuck it, I thought, turning away, putting the phone to my ear. ‘He’s not available,’ I said bluntly. ‘You’ll need to call back.’ I was about to cut the call when the person at the other end spoke.

  ‘No problem, tell him John called,’ a man’s voice said. ‘John Foal-Amos.’ Then the line went dead.

  I chucked the phone onto one of the chairs in the living room, then made my way outside for the evening, gearing up for battle once more.

  Chapter Fourteen

  THEN

  I returned to your hostel each night for the week that followed, and I kept my visits back to my family’s villa infrequent and brief. Often I’d miss Douglas, who would be out when I was there, having taken himself off on a hike, while Mum and Dad seemed unable to decide whether to moan at me or ignore me altogether. I’d begun to feel guilty at how little I’d seen my brother over the past week, and woke up on Wednesday morning with the aim of going to find him and apologise, perhaps even confide in him properly and fill him in on everything that had been happening. Any need to hunt for him – or even to return home – vanished, however, when the door to the dorm room opened and in he walked.

  ‘Well, this is an interesting sight,’ he said, hands on his hips.

  I rubbed my eyes, a beam of morning sun causing me to blink and crane my head forward, although I knew the voice. I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

  ‘Douglas? What the fuck?’

  ‘So this is where you’ve been enjoying yourself.’ He nodded towards you. ‘Who’s this, then?’

  By some miracle you remained asleep.

  ‘What? Oh…we shouldn’t wake him,’ I said, lowering my voice. ‘He was up late.’

  ‘Was he now,’ Douglas said, copying my low volume, giving me a sly smile and sitting down on the mattress opposite. ‘You two do look rather cosy on that single. Please don’t tell me you’re renting a bed here? I know Mum and Dad are bad but this is extreme.’

  ‘No, I’m not,’ I said, still keeping my voice low. ‘Look…how did you get in here? How did you know where I was?’

  ‘In answer to your first question,’ Douglas said, ‘the lovely young lady downstairs said I could go up and take a look at the size of the beds. I said, being a tall guy, I needed to make sure my feet wouldn’t be hanging off the end. She seemed to find this quite funny. Very relaxed. I think she finds her job boring.’

  ‘Well, she’s barely batted an eyelid at me coming or going,’ I conceded. ‘But I don’t get how—’

  ‘Followed you,’ he said with a shrug. ‘Saw you and pretty boy here heading in here when I was out for a late-night stroll last night. Decided to pay you a morning visit.’

  ‘I’m honoured,’ I said with a sigh.

  I felt you starting to stir next to me. ‘What’s happening?’ you mumbled, your eyes slowly blinking open.

  ‘Hey, I’m your bed-buddy’s older brother,’ Douglas said, offering his hand.

  You shook it, looking confused and still half asleep, rubbing your eyes.

  ‘Douglas, maybe we could catch up later?’ I said, looking at him, hoping he’d notice how embarrassing I found this situation and retreat now that you were awake.

  ‘I think I’ll take a shower while you two talk,’ you said, getting out of bed and straightening up. ‘I’ll be back in a bit.’ I watched as you grabbed your towel, tied it round your waist and headed out.

  ‘So what’s going on here?’ Douglas said, as soon as your footsteps had died away. ‘Quick work, eh? Already shacked up with some—’

  ‘We’re not shacked up. It’s all happened very…I don’t know…’

  ‘Are we talking summer fling or summer romance?’ Douglas said, the sly smile still on his lips.

  ‘It’s just some…summer fun,’ I said. I didn’t know why I was trying to diminish what I felt for you and how strong my feelings were. Douglas’s sudden gate-crashing made it seem like my time with you was under threat – like the outside world was threatening to break into our sun-soaked, dreamlike existence. I usually welcomed my brother’s company, but for the first time in my life I felt like he was more irritant than welcome presence. And it annoyed me all the more that he didn’t seem to realise that.

  ‘Well, leaving your holiday fling aside, I’m tempted to do what you’ve almost done and get a bed here.’

  I frowned at him. ‘You’re not serious?’

  Douglas groaned, ‘I had a major row with Dad last night. He was being unnecessarily unkind to Mum and I told him he was a prick. It was sort of a final-straw situation. It’s why I left for a walk, needed time away from them.’

  I nodded. I understood how he felt. ‘Well, don’t make any sudden decisions. See how things are.’

  He raised an eyebrow, ‘Worried I’ll disturb your little love nest? Don’t worry. I’m not here to stop your summer fun. By the way, I’m starving – I didn’t eat last night because of the row. Shall we go out for breakfast?’

 

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