Mothers instinct, p.1
Mothers' Instinct, page 1
Dedication
A thousand thanks to Jean-Paul, whose help from the other side of the world was invaluable to me
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
About the Author
Copyright
About the Publisher
Prologue
Laetitia parallel-parked perfectly on the first try. Unfortunately, this did little to improve her mood.
“The Nintendo goes off now, Milo, we’re here,” she said automatically.
The boy in the back seat barely raised his eyes from the screen.
Laetitia climbed out of the car with her briefcase, Milo’s backpack, and two bags of groceries. Her hands full, she knocked on his window with her elbow to catch his attention.
“Come on, Milo, I’ve got all this stuff to carry!”
“Wait, let me just save the game!”
The bags were sawing at her fingers, and her son’s laziness caused Laetitia’s temper, already simmering, to boil over.
“Let’s go!” she snapped. Her parking job was about the only thing that had gone right today. “Get out of the car now, or no Nintendo for the rest of the week!”
“Yeah, OK!” He sighed, still glued to the game. He slid over to the edge of the seat, set one foot on the sidewalk, and dragged himself out of the car like a dead weight.
“And shut the door, if it’s not too much to ask!”
“Laetitia!” She froze when she heard the unexpected voice. “Do you have a moment?”
She turned around. Behind her stood Tiphaine, panting in her running gear. A sheen of sweat covered her face, her bangs plastered to her forehead. When she got no response from Laetitia, Tiphaine went over to Milo and ruffled his hair.
“You doing OK, big guy?” she said kindly.
“Hi, Auntiphaine!” he beamed.
Laetitia strode over angrily, grabbed her son’s arm, and pulled him behind her.
“Don’t you dare talk to him!” she hissed.
Tiphaine barely flinched. “Laetitia, please, can we at least talk?”
“Get inside, Milo!” Laetitia ordered.
“But Mom . . .”
“Now!” Her tone told him not to push his luck. After a moment’s hesitation, Milo went inside, pouting.
Laetitia turned back to Tiphaine. “Now you listen to me, you crazy bitch. If I see you anywhere near my son again, I’ll scratch your eyes out.”
“Listen, Laetitia, can’t you understand that I never wanted . . .”
“Shut your mouth!” Laetitia hissed, eyes screwed tight in an exasperated scowl. “Keep your pathetic excuses to yourself. I don’t believe you in the slightest!”
“Really? What do you believe, then?”
Laetitia gave her a look of utter scorn.
“I know exactly what the hell you’re trying to do, Tiphaine. But I warn you, if anything—anything—happens to my son, I’ll call the cops on you.”
Tiphaine seemed truly taken aback. She stared questioningly at Laetitia, trying to figure out what she meant. Then, as if suddenly realizing nothing would change Laetitia’s mind, she sighed, not trying to hide how Laetitia’s attitude pained her.
“I don’t know what crazy thoughts have got into your head, Laetitia, but I promise you one thing: you’re wrong. Please, just try to believe me. Not for my sake, but for Milo’s. Because you’re destroying him, bit by bit.”
Laetitia arched one eyebrow, a look of contempt on her face. A cruel gleam flashed in her eyes like a lightning bolt in a stormy sky.
“Well, I guess you do know all about destroying children,” she shot back, her voice almost silky.
Laetitia didn’t see the slap coming. As the word children left her lips, Tiphaine struck her across the cheek. Laetitia stood stunned for a moment, eyes wide with shock. The groceries and bags sawing at her fingers seemed to weigh several tons. She dropped them to raise one hand to her cheek.
“How dare you!” Tiphaine raged, choking back tears, as if to justify the slap.
The two women stared at each other for a moment, sizing each other up, the air crackling with hatred. A voice rang out, interrupting the fight before it started.
“Laetitia!”
A man rushed out of the house Milo had just gone into. David grabbed Laetitia by the shoulders and pushed her behind him protectively.
“She hit me!” she blurted, still in shock.
“B-but some words hurt worse,” Tiphaine stammered, aghast at the turn the confrontation had taken.
David gave her a withering stare, weighing his words carefully as he pointed at her with a threatening finger.
“You’ve gone too far this time, Tiphaine. We’ll be reporting this.”
Tiphaine gritted her teeth, barely concealing the storm of emotions raging inside her. It took her a few seconds to master herself. Choking back her sobs, she nodded.
“Fine, David. You do that. You see, the big difference between us now is that I have nothing left to lose.”
David gathered up the groceries spilled across the sidewalk and pulled Laetitia inside, slamming the door behind them. Tiphaine stayed put, trembling all over, until she felt calm enough to walk back down the same path to her side of the duplex. She pulled the keys from her pocket, opened her own front door, and stepped inside.
Chapter 1
Seven years earlier
“Cheers!”
The three of them clinked their glasses—two champagne flutes and one glass of water—in a celebratory toast. There were sudden giggles, knowing looks, nods, and loving smiles. David and Sylvain sipped their champagne, savoring the prickling of the tiny bubbles. Laetitia put down her glass of water and stroked her boldly swelling belly.
“Not a drop of alcohol since you found out, then?” asked Sylvain.
“Not a single drop!” Laetitia said proudly.
“My wife is a saint,” David lovingly teased her. “You can’t imagine what she’s putting herself through to give our son the best start in life. Zero alcohol, zero salt, zero fat, low sugar, steamed vegetables, fruit all day long, fish instead of red meat, yoga, swimming, classical music, early nights . . .”
He sighed. “The past six months have been so boring!”
“I’m not a saint, I’m pregnant, dummy!” Laetitia playfully smacked her husband on the thigh.
“And she keeps going on about parenting rules . . . poor kid! This mom will run a tight ship, let me tell you.”
“You guys are already talking about parenting rules?” Sylvain looked surprised.
“Of course!” Laetitia said, suddenly serious. “Best time to do it is right now. When you’re facing the problem, it’s already too late.”
“What sort of things are you discussing, then?”
“All sorts. Back each other up, don’t undermine each other when the kid is listening, no sweets before they turn three, no Coke before they’re six, no Nintendo before they’re ten . . .”
Sylvain whistled, impressed. “We’ll tell him that if you guys are too strict, he can always come over to us!”
David glanced at his watch.
“We should have waited for Tiphaine before raising a toast,” he said. “She’ll be annoyed she missed it.”
“Not a problem. First off, she hates champagne, and anyway, she didn’t want to stress herself out and keep us waiting. She’s . . . kind of tired these days.”
“Well, what’s the champagne for, then?” Laetitia asked. “A nice bottle of wine would have been fine, you know.”
The question caught Sylvain unprepared. Casting around for a plausible reason, he sputtered, “Well, because, you know . . .”
“I don’t know,” Laetitia said, laughing at his obvious discomfort. But then she realized there was only one reason to open a bottle of champagne: good news. She studied Sylvain for a moment, sure he was hiding a secret,
“She’s pregnant!” she cried, bolting up straight in her armchair.
“H-huh?” stammered Sylvain, looking even more ill at ease.
“Are you two expecting too?” David asked, beaming in delight.
“No!” exclaimed Sylvain. “Well . . . I mean . . .”
The doorbell rang, saving him from their inevitable questions. Laetitia leaped to her feet and waddled to the hallway as fast as she could. “Congratulations!” she called out, vanishing down the corridor.
“Please don’t say anything!” Sylvain begged. “She made me swear I would wait!”
He turned to David, a look of comical dismay on his face. “She is going to kill me!”
David burst out laughing and got up to kiss his friend on both cheeks.
“Welcome to the club! How far along is she?”
“Three months.”
Laetitia opened the front door, her whole face lit up with happiness.
“Darling!” she cried, her voice filled with laughter. “Our children will grow up together! Isn’t it wonderful!”
Without waiting for Tiphaine’s response, she pulled her in for a long hug.
Chapter 2
Later, when they looked back on that evening, the first thing David recalled was the perfection of each moment—the incredible joy in each glance, each gesture, each word. Their future plans, their promises and laughter, and the feeling of coming home to a family—one he had chosen for himself rather than been dumped into—gave him the sense of connection he had so longed for as a child cut off from his roots. An unwanted orphan, passed from foster families to children’s homes, he had climbed a steep, rocky path to adulthood, walking the delicate tightrope between good and evil, nearly falling off a hundred times and clinging on a hundred times more. Until he fell off for good. Prison. And then a chance for a do-over.
Back to square one.
His own square one was right here. Laetitia. And the tiny frog-like creature in her belly. His very own little munchkin. The son he would give everything he had missed out on, whose hand he would hold to keep him on the best path. He always said “best path,” not “right path,” because as far as he could see, the “right path” didn’t exist: it was a trap, a mirage, a lie told to children to keep them on the straight and narrow. Keep your head down. Don’t draw attention to yourself. Just keep walking, head down. Don’t glance sideways.
What a joke!
Real life isn’t about straight lines. Life is one vast expanse of rugged terrain, riddled with obstacles, twists and turns, and deviations. A maze full of pitfalls with no straight lines in sight. The shortest path between two points is the one you know best.
But whatever you do, whatever milestones you pass on the way, at the end of the road you’ll always end up in the same place.
That’s what David thought. Before he met Laetitia.
He had done what everybody does. He took the only path open to him—a rope bridge across a chasm, without a map or a handrail. Without the two guides who should have been there to shepherd him patiently and lovingly into adulthood.
So he fell.
He started out with petty crime. Pot at thirteen, coke at fifteen, barely into puberty and already chasing cash—small-time dealing, the wrong crowd. He was caught up in the machine. Petty crime turned into burglary, breaking and entering, aggravated assault.
Two years in juvie.
Once he was out, he attempted for the first time to climb back onto the bridge. To keep moving forward. David clung to what help he could, but not much was there—just a few strands of rotten rope that snapped under his fingers and broken boards that crumbled away beneath his feet. It was a slippery slope, and he fell back down. Four more years inside, with the men this time, for armed robbery.
On his second release from prison, he made himself a promise. He would never go back. He pulled himself back up onto the bridge. He kept going, whatever the cost. At first, he crawled on hands and knees, washing dishes in a Chinese restaurant to pay for a single attic room. Three hundred euros a month, no hot water or heat, a shared bathroom on the landing, cockroaches scuttling across the walls. Then he shuffled on his knees, driving a bus to pay for a slightly larger room with hot water and heat—still no toilets, but at least no more cockroaches. And then gradually, he managed to stand, carefully testing his balance at every step, one foot in front of the other, taking it slowly. It took him several years.
By twenty-seven, he was a hospital janitor and able to rent a studio apartment with its own bathroom.
That’s where he met Laetitia. At the hospital, that is, not in his studio or bathroom.
Her own journey had been a smooth, wide, fast road with no cracks or potholes, which wound through a lush green rural landscape: a scattering of fruit trees, a few low hills, and fields and meadows as far as the eye could see. A clear, distant horizon. Until her own two guides were knocked down by a truck.
It happened one night, as Sunday turned into Monday. And one wrong turn was all it took. Her parents were on their way home from an evening with friends, not too late, barely midnight. A smooth, wide, fast road. It was raining, though that hardly mattered. The story itself hardly mattered; it was just another accident. Wrong place, wrong time. Killed by what Laetitia later always called the three TRs: a truck, traumatic injury, and tragedy.
Her mother was killed on the spot. The car flipped, and she was thrown out and landed in the neighboring field, where she died. Her father lingered on for a week, hovering between life and death. Laetitia barely left his bedside, snatching a few hours here and there to sneak home and sleep, shower, change clothes.
And to meet David.
It was love at first sight. She was sitting in the corridor while her father was in the operating room, and though her face was etched with grief, her eyes red with weeping, and her nose raw from being dabbed with tissues, David could not help but find her touching and ravishingly beautiful. He felt an irrepressible urge to reach out and help her through the ordeal, and maybe, to walk with her a little way on her bereavement journey.
The following months were a strange experience for Laetitia. The fathomless pain of losing her parents waged a merciless battle with the giddy joy of falling deeply in love. She was an only child: the sole family she had left were a distant uncle and two cousins she had not seen since childhood. She grasped the hand David held out to her like a life raft in the middle of the ocean. At first, she did not know where it would lead, and she felt corrosive guilt about wanting the man she met at her dying father’s bedside, daydreaming about him rather than mourning her parents. She’d catch herself smiling, fantasizing . . . and yet also blaming him for being there, as if he had come to turn her away from her grief. Hating him for something that was so good for her.
A one-way street. Deviations and detours. It took them some time to find their footing and move forward—or at least try—together.
Eighteen months later, they moved into Laetitia’s parents’ house, her childhood home. She could not face the idea of selling it or renting it out. She could not picture strangers taking ownership of the walls that held so many of her memories and her family story. And now that she, like David, had no family, they decided to build a new one of their very own.
David had absolute faith in this new start. A second chance. They were on the best path, no question. Together they would conquer mountains, hand in hand. It would be a wonderful journey. For the first time in forever, David felt serene about the future. But he was forgetting one detail.
Whatever you do, whatever milestones you pass on the way, at the end of the road you’ll always end up in the same place.
Chapter 3
David and Laetitia Brunelle soon met their new neighbors, Tiphaine and Sylvain Geniot. They were all around the same age, in their early thirties, easygoing, and their houses were separated by only a hedge. David found out that Sylvain listened to the same music as he did—King Crimson, Pink Floyd, Archive—and Laetitia saved Tiphaine from a kitchen disaster when she ran out of olive oil one evening. Tiphaine came by the next morning to return the borrowed bottle of cold-pressed extra virgin oil and Laetitia offered her coffee. Tiphaine gratefully accepted. It was the first of many coffees in what became a morning ritual that neither would miss for the world.
