Tutoring a ladys heart, p.7
Tutoring A Lady's Heart, page 7
He needed to do more. He couldn’t allow them to keep struggling for money and Gabriel was determined to put it all behind them.
“Mother,” he said, taking another bite of bread, “I will not allow you and Lydia to suffer and fight for food and survival. This is important.”
“I know, I know,” she said, waving him away before cutting into her chicken.
“Then you know that when you eat grand foods, when we can afford meat and anything aside from simple bread and a few potatoes, I am delighted. It means that we are surviving well. And I want to be the one providing these things. Not you, Mother. It is not right that you should have to keep working while also minding the home,” he said.
His mother sighed and nodded, clearly grateful for his consideration. But Gabriel couldn’t bear that she was doing so much for so long. He thought back to the poem about the woman at the fair, burning up from the expectations of others. Had he not noticed all that his mother was doing? Had he not realised that she, too, was burning up in a different way?
He had sensed that Lady Montague related to the poem for the way she was having to fight against society’s demands upon her, but perhaps he had missed that even his own mother was trying to get beyond the tasks that were constantly heaped upon her. Gabriel couldn’t bear to see it any longer.
He needed to do something about it.
Chapter 13
Kittie was enjoying the opportunity to walk outside of the house each day, making her way outside nearly fifteen minutes before the lessons were to begin. Mr Whitman had been arriving early and it continually gave them an opportunity to talk and get to know one another better.
She knew that it was a mistake to hope that he was doing it intentionally, that he was trying to find her and speak with her also. Nevertheless, she couldn’t help but have hope. Whenever she saw his lovely, smiling face, Kittie’s heart leapt, and she knew that she wanted to be with this man.
“You really do know everything,” she teased him after he recited a poem while they walked up to the house.
“I know very little,” he replied, insistent. “But what I do know, I make the effort to know well. That is the difference between myself and many other men who are, perhaps, far more intelligent than I.”
“I disagree entirely. I think there is no man out there as intelligent as you and I find it fascinating that you would suggest otherwise,” she said.
“How so? Why is it fascinating?”
“Because you are so dedicated to making yourself smaller that you do not realise just how grand you are,” she said.
Mr Whitman laughed, and Kittie shrugged, having meant every word of it.
“You are very kind, Lady Montague, but I fear that I am not as grand as you think I am,” he said.
“You shall just have to prove that to me. Otherwise, I will never believe you,” she said.
“And if you do not believe me, you do not trust me. I should like for you to trust me,” he said.
They reached the front door and paused, looking at one another for a long moment before turning back to the door, remembering that they needed to get inside so they could have their lesson.
Kittie enjoyed his company so much, but she knew that it was foolish to think that anything could ever happy between them. She wondered if Mr Whitman fancied her in return, but couldn’t ask, knowing that her interest would amount to nothing. Richard would be furious if he ever found out that she was even thinking along these lines with a man who was hired to be Henry’s tutor.
But just as Kittie was thrilled to sit in on another lesson, to enjoy more time with Mr Whitman, even with Henry present, she was also sad. This was the last day before Richard would return and it was the final lesson she would have with Mr Whitman before she was certain Richard would ban her from studying at all. There would be no further opportunities to enjoy the company of this man she cared for or his mind, which she found equally fascinating.
“Very well, we must continue on in our Latin. Gabriel, tell me, what is the importance of knowing not only Latin phrases, but also the meaning behind them?” Mr Whitman asked.
“We cannot study only the words without knowing their context,” Henry replied.
“Excellent. So, what does it mean with I say Carthago delenda est?” Mr Whitman asked.
Henry paused and thought about it.
“I am not sure about Carthago, but it is a statement that something must be destroyed,” Henry said.
“Indeed. And we are speaking of Carthage. So, what is behind this phrase? Why must Carthage be destroyed?” Mr Whitman asked.
Henry chewed his lip, trying to figure out the answer. At last, Kittie chimed in.
“This was a popular phrase during the Second Punic War,” she said.
Henry’s shoulders slumped.
“I knew that. Kittie, I wish I had your mind for remembering. Of course, it was the phrase they used,” Henry said.
“Do not scold yourself, Henry. You have an excellent mind. You simply have to put things within the context as your sister has done,” Mr Whitman said.
“Of course,” Henry replied.
Mr Whitman looked at Kittie and gave her a gentle nod.
“Excellent work.”
A bitter scoff sounded behind Kittie and she turned to look in the doorway. There, much to her dismay, stood Richard, an expression of disdain upon his face.
“Richard?” she asked, her skin going cold at the sight of him.
“To your room at once, Katherine,” he said through gritted teeth.
“Wait, Richard, you must listen to me. I know you are angry, but I can explain,” she said.
“You will do no such thing. You will go to your room right now. I will deal with you later,” he hissed.
Kittie paused, unable to move. She had a terrible feeling that she had just gotten Mr Whitman into trouble, all because she had insisted upon staying in the lessons and being a part of them. She feared that, now, Richard would use this as a chance to demand higher standards from Mr Whitman that he would not be able to follow or that he would release Mr Whitman altogether and she would never see him again.
No matter what happened, Kittie wished she could undo her choices that had led to this. She wished that she could make things right and talk to Richard before he did anything rash. She was petrified that she had caused Mr Whitman to get into trouble that he never deserved or asked for.
“Go,” Richard insisted.
Kittie relented, knowing that it would do no one any good if she remained there, indignant and trying to fight against her brother’s orders. Instead of allowing herself to fight, she made her way out of the room, quickly departing so Richard wouldn’t be further angered by her presence.
She rushed up the stairs, trying to stay close enough along the wall that she would not be seen if she tried to listen to what happened next, but she was disappointed to find that she could hear nothing from there. Instead of learning what might happen to Mr Whitman, she had only found herself further away, hoping that nothing would get any worse.
Chapter 14
Gabriel sat in the parlour with Lord Courtshire staring at him, looking furious but also torn.
“I cannot imagine what possessed you to allow my sister to participate in the lessons you were teaching Henry,” he said.
Gabriel stayed quiet, knowing that he had not yet been given permission to speak. Although he wanted to defend himself, he had been warned that it could come to this and he had known better. All of this was his own fault for not putting his foot down and refusing to teach Lady Montague when he had known it was the right thing to do for the sake of her older brother.
“This was absolute foolishness that you would think it was acceptable to teach her,” Lord Courtshire said. At last, he turned and faced Gabriel, giving him a chance to reply.
“Indeed, my lord, it was a foolish decision. I was unaware that there was a problem in allowing her to sit in on the lessons, but I ought to have thought about it further. I know that you hired me only to teach your younger brother and teaching Lady Montague was never agreed upon. I fear that I was foolish enough to think it was all right for her to learn,” he said. “Furthermore, I assure you that I will be more cautious in the future—should you allow me to stay on. I now know that this is outside the scope of duties you wish for me to perform and I would not make such a mistake again,” Gabriel continued.
“I am glad to hear that, Mr Whitman, but you must understand why I am so upset,” Lord Courtshire said.
“Indeed, my lord,” he replied.
“I cannot imagine what it was that made you believe I would allow it, but I do understand that I never expressly forbid it. As such, I am inclined to give you one more chance, but if I do so, it is not merely out of trust or even generosity. I would give you another chance only because you are so highly recommended and there are many men out there who insist that you are the most remarkable tutor in all of London. I would be remiss to deprive my brother of you just because of a misunderstanding,” he said.
“I am grateful that you are willing to give me another chance,” he said.
“But I do not expect another mistake like this one. You must be more careful and be sure that you do not treat my home like it is some…some den of education for women,” he said.
Gabriel tried not to flinch, although he was deeply bothered by Lord Courtshire’s view on the matter. It was clear that this earl had an opinion many would express in which young ladies were meant for nothing, but the traditions of the home and they were not even allowed to exercise their minds in order to learn and grow further.
“I understand,” he said again, although understanding did not mean agreeing.
Lord Courtshire did not only appear upset, but also stressed. Gabriel wondered if there was something more going on even beyond this issue with Lady Montague and her studies.
“I want to see improvements in Henry’s learning,” he continued, listing the demands and expectations he had if Gabriel was to continue. “I expect that my brother will learn and do well even when you are not here. I want him to enjoy his studies enough that he will continue to read and look into them even once you have departed from our home.”
It was a high demand, but Gabriel was determined to bring it to fruition. This had been a desire of his own already, to make studies enjoyable. He did not expect Henry to have his nose in a poetry book at all times, but there was still progress in the making.
“Yes, certainly,” he agreed. “I promise that I shall do better.”
“Very well,” Lord Courtshire said. He seemed to be appeased, although Gabriel was still upset and wishing that he had found a way to continue seeing Lady Montague. It was dreadful that he wouldn’t be able to spend more time with her or see her as often.
He wondered how she would be able to continue her studies now that she was not allowed to. Gabriel couldn’t help grieving for her. He knew how hard this would be once she learned the full extent of their punishments and the fact that her brother was adamant that her education would be ended.
At last, it seemed that the discussion with Lord Courtshire was over.
“You are dismissed,” he said.
Gabriel stood, bowed, and departed from the room and then made his way towards the front door. He was on his way for the rest of the day, aware that he would not be teaching Henry until the following Monday. That meant there was no chance for a goodbye to Kittie or an opportunity to tell her how much he had enjoyed teaching her as well and to encourage her to keep trying to learn.
It was very difficult, knowing that she might never again find someone who would be willing to show her such important things as mathematics and Latin and the like. These had been her favourite subjects.
Who would share them with her now? Henry certainly couldn’t, for he didn’t understand enough to do so.
It grieved Gabriel, but he knew that this was always going to happen. As long as he allowed himself to be near her, he was asking for something to go wrong. It was only reasonable and right that it had all come to an end now and he would have to just move on and do his best with the work he had originally been assigned.
When he arrived home later, Gabriel sat in his small bedroom and tried to read, to focus on anything he possibly could that would get his mind off the mistakes he had just made. But as much as he tried, he could do nothing but think about Lady Montague.
He tried sitting down and even writing a poem about her, something romantic and lovely like Sir Edward Lawson would write. But nothing came. Nothing about her raven locks or her moss-green eyes with little flecks of brown and gold. He felt confident there was much material to work with if he wanted to write something poetic, but his words failed him. He was far too distracted and broken by what had taken place earlier.
At last, Gabriel heard his mother and sister return. Lydia had probably been out selling flowers and had met with their mother before coming back. He went out to meet them.
“Gabriel? You are home already? What is it? What has happened?” his mother asked.
He shrugged in disappointment before answering her.
“I made the mistake of allowing Lord Courtshire’s sister to learn with her brother. I have been given another chance, but I was told to leave for the day,” he confessed.
“Oh, dear. Gabriel, what does this mean?” his mother asked.
“Nothing, for the moment. It is only that Lord Courtshire is disappointed in me for giving her the chance to learn subjects he deems to be for men only. I fear that I made a grievous error, but I am doing my best to make it right,” he said.
“Why is he against her learning anything from you? Does he truly want his sister to be as dimwitted as the rest of the young women in society?” his mother scoffed.
In truth, Gabriel felt that he did. It seemed as though every man was willing to put his mother, sister, or daughter at risk in order to find a husband.
These were the demands placed upon a young woman for the sake of society. These were the ugly cruelties that had bothered Gabriel for most of his life.
But now, it was a woman he cared for who was being subjected to them. He couldn’t bear it. All Gabriel wanted now was to ensure that Lady Montague would not have to live that way. He wanted to see her thrive and he would do whatever he must to ensure that it happened.
Chapter 15
Kittie remained silent as she and Richard made their way to the ball. Although she would have loved to have argued with him about it, she knew that it would only get her into more trouble and that was one thing she couldn’t afford just now.
The last ball she had attended, while Richard was gone, had been as dull as ever. Kittie had tried to be polite, but she did not interact very much with others and she didn’t mind keeping close to Jane for the sake of companionship and standing there just to tell gentlemen that Jane was a grand woman. It seemed to help, encouraging them all in Jane’s direction.
But now, she was with Richard. He would insist that she mingle, demand that she make herself presentable to any man who showed an interest.
“And I insist that you remain in the ballroom the entire time. No wandering. You may not follow Jane to play any card games in another room. You may not find a dark little corner or a library,” he said.
Richard had already searched Kittie’s purse to ensure that she did not have a book with her. She had assured him she did not bring one, but he didn’t seem to believe her and looked through it anyway. Now, however, knowing she didn’t have a book with her, he was clearly worried that she would find one at the estate they were going to.
