Protected, p.8
Protected, page 8
part #1 of Holt Agency, Book Three Series
“Now what do we do?” he asked reverently.
He was sincere. They were in the same boat. They’d just admitted a lot. Too much probably. She chewed on her bottom lip. “Shit.”
He drew in a long breath. “That kind of sums it up. Let’s watch a movie.” He carefully extricated himself from her, rose, and padded across the room.
She hated him not touching her. After being back with him less than one day, she wanted to climb into his lap and stay there.
They’d been inseparable during their weird eleven-day vacation. She and Grant had even swapped rooms early in the cruise so that Grant could be with Callie and Mel could be with Holden.
Best sex of her life.
She shook the memory away. She was torturing herself. She had to take her gaze off him or she might start drooling. She felt chilly since he’d moved, and she rubbed her arms and hugged herself.
“You cold?”
She lifted her face as he returned to her side. He snagged a throw blanket from the back of the couch, but instead of tucking it around her like she’d expected, he lifted her from the corner of the sectional, scooted her over a foot, and took her spot.
“Hey…”
He smirked as he set his feet on the coffee table, got comfortable, and hauled her into his side. With his arm around her neck, he pulled the throw over the two of them and turned on the TV.
“Are you saying not only was I using your side of the bed last night, but this is your spot on the couch?”
He laughed. “Babe, I was out of my head last night. You may have any spot you want in my bed.”
She twisted to look at him. “I should really sleep in a guest room, Holden.”
He squeezed her tighter. “You’re not sleeping in a guest room, babe. Forget it.” He pointed at the television. “Comedy or horror?”
She shuddered. “My life is currently horror. Let’s go with comedy.”
It was early enough that the sun was still up as the movie started, and though it might have been humorous, it was hard for Mel to focus on it. All of her attention was centered on the fingers dangling over her shoulder that absently grazed her arm, the feel of his heartbeat against her, the way he kept nuzzling the top of her head…
If anyone walked into the house right now, they would assume the two of them were a married couple who’d been together a while. Instead, they’d known each other eleven days over two years ago. It was surreal. It felt good.
It scared the fuck out of her.
Chapter 9
“Do you have men stationed outside all night, Holden?” Mel asked him after she rinsed the toothpaste out of her mouth later that night. She was standing next to him in his bathroom. There were two sinks. Somehow she’d ended up with her toiletries scattered around the left side of the vanity.
Holden finished brushing, rinsed, and snagged the hand towel. After drying his mouth, he reached out and wiped the corner of hers. “You missed a spot. And yes. Jerad and Robert took the day. Two other men are out there now.”
“Four men? That seems excessive. You said this house is a fortress. You have an alarm on every door and window. You’re confident no one knows where I am. And I’d bet money that strange safe beside your bed has a gun in it.”
He pulled her into his arms and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Two guns. Yes. Do you know how to use a gun?”
She shook her head.
“Then don’t touch them.”
“I wouldn’t think of it.” She shuddered though. If he ended up needing one of those guns in the night, she’d die on the spot.
“We’re safe,” he promised her. “If I didn’t think we were safe, I’d have shoes on, and jeans.”
He was wearing flannel sleep pants and nothing else. She was pretty sure he didn’t even have on underwear. Luckily, he’d changed while she’d used the bathroom and vice versa.
Mel hadn’t brought anything reasonable to sleep in. She had planned to be here alone. She usually slept naked. She hadn’t exactly packed lingerie—which would be a horrible idea tonight anyway. Nor had she packed pajamas at all.
“I see you snagged my T-shirt to sleep in,” he commented, his hands trailing leisurely up and down her back. “The one I just took off.”
She shrugged, her cheeks heating. “Do you mind?”
“Not at all. But what do you usually sleep in?”
She bit her bottom lip, not answering him.
He groaned. “I guess you were wearing your sleep attire when I walked in last night, huh?”
“Pretty much.”
“I always figured you were probably a bit too much of a prude in your real life to sleep in the nude,” he teased.
“I was.”
His eyes widened slowly. “Until when?”
“Until the cruise.”
“Fuck. Melanie…” His hands slid to her ass and he jerked her so close she could feel his cock against her stomach. He growled and buried his face in her neck before easing back about a millimeter. “I have one more question, and then we’re going to bed.”
She drew in a breath. Her heart was racing. She didn’t say a word.
“You told me on the cruise that you’d waxed for the first time that week. Do you still keep your pussy bare and smooth?”
Her breath hitched. Wetness leaked out of her. She wanted to tell him to see for himself. She wanted his mouth on her with a desperation she’d never felt. She wanted him inside her, and when she thought about what it might feel like, she shuddered. It would be tight after her celibacy. So tight she’d probably orgasm as soon as he entered her.
He was staring at her, waiting for an answer.
Should she tell him to check for himself? Show him? Tell him it was none of his business? Or maybe beg him to rub his stubble against her tender, swollen skin?
There were a million ways to answer him. She ended up simply replying, “Yes.”
He groaned again, spun her around, and angled her toward the bedroom. “Pick a side.”
She hurried to put some distance between them. “I’m not sleeping on the side with the weapons.”
“Good point. You take the middle.”
She rounded to the other side. “This is a bad idea.”
“It’s a horrible idea. Get in.” He turned off the lights, but there was enough illumination coming from the night light in the bathroom for her to see him as they stood on opposite sides of the bed staring at each other. It was a standoff. She was confident she wasn’t the only one of them confused and feeling uneasy.
“If I climb into this bed with you, I’ll end up having sex with you.”
He shook his head. “No, you won’t.” He sounded certain.
She dropped her shoulders. “Seriously.” Sarcasm oozed from her.
“Get in, Mel,” he ordered again as he climbed into his side.
She felt petulant as she slid beneath the covers opposite him as far away as possible.
As soon as she was sort of situated on her back with the covers tucked around her, Holden reached across the bed, wrapped his arms around her, and hauled her clear over past the center until she was practically on his side. He arranged her in his embrace, spooning her.
“Holden,” she argued, breathing heavily as she tried to wiggle free of his grip. His forearm was grazing her nipples. His other arm was draped across her stomach. The T-shirt she was wearing had ridden up her body in the scuffle, exposing her panty-clad butt, which was now pressed against his crotch.
“Stay still,” he ordered.
She gasped and twisted her head around. “Holden, you’re manhandling me.”
Ignoring her statement, he sighed. “Damn, I’m going to miss this bed. I really like this mattress.”
She humphed. “What the hell are you talking about?” She reached over his arms to try to tug the T-shirt under her ass, unsuccessfully.
“If you don’t stop squirming around, rubbing against my cock to get away from me, I’m going to swap this king-sized bed for a twin tomorrow.”
She groaned dramatically. “That’s absurd. Let me go.”
He held her tighter. “I can honor your wish to not have sex, babe, but there’s no way I’m sleeping next to you without touching you. Do you recall me ever doing that before?”
No, she did not. He’d been a snuggler. A characteristic she’d loved about him.
Holden loosened his grip just enough to slide his hands to hers and thread their fingers together, his palms on the backs of her hands. He drew one up between her breasts and held the other lower against her stomach near her pussy.
“Please,” he whispered. “Let me have this with you.”
It felt so good. Too good. Her resolve was evaporating rapidly. She could easily turn over and press her lips to his. She could push him to his back, climb over him, and straddle him, rocking her pussy over his length to pleasure herself.
Speaking of pleasure, this man she’d been half in love with for over two years was putting a cramp in her style. She hadn’t masturbated since this time last night. She had a habit of crawling into bed at night and indulging her fantasies. It was the only sex she ever got, so she deserved it.
Holden Billings, the man she used as fodder for her self-pleasure, was wrapped around her body, breathing against her neck, holding her tight.
“Holden…” she whispered, losing the energy to fight him. She loved lying in his arms. It had been their position of choice after a few rounds of sex on that cruise ship. This felt natural, like old times. Except they’d skipped the sex part, and had that really been a good idea?
“Mmm,” he breathed into her ear.
“We can’t do this,” she whispered, although there was no force behind her words.
“Sleep?” he teased softly.
“There’s no way in hell I’m going to fall asleep with you wrapped all around me and me so fucking horny I’m about to self-combust. Your presence is putting a wrench in my usual nighttime routine too.”
His breath hitched. “Pardon?”
She mentally berated herself for saying that out loud. Why the fuck had she done so?
He started chuckling. “Are you talking about that pink vibrator?” Then he groaned. “You are. Jesus. You’re killing me. Do you use that every night?” His voice was incredulous.
She jerked her head around to face him, forcing him to loosen his grip on her. “No. Only on the nights when I can’t manage to get off with just my fingers in a reasonable amount of time. And don’t you fucking think of judging me. I would never believe in a million years that you don’t jerk off every day. Why shouldn’t I get to have sex with myself too?”
He swallowed, his expression sobering. “You’re right.” He still had his arms around her, their fingers still threaded together. He gave hers a squeeze.
“About which part?”
“All of it.” He tugged her around, manhandling her back into the position he wanted her in—the spooned position that put her ass against his hard cock and his arms too close to her breasts and her pussy.
“Holden… Please let me go sleep in a guest room.”
“You planning to take the pink vibrator?”
“Grrr…” Yes. But did they have to talk about it? Or she could leave that one. Let him think it was the only one she had. She had others.
“No.”
“That’s it? Just no. End of discussion? The caveman has spoken?” The problem was his caveman routine was only making her hornier.
Holden lifted her lower hand up to meet the one between her breasts and joined them together so he was holding both hands in one of his. Not hard. His hand was much larger.
The effect was to send her arousal through the ceiling though. She held her breath, wondering what the fuck he was plotting.
She didn’t have to wonder long. His top leg nudged her top leg forward, bending it so he could situate his thigh against her pussy. A second later, his free hand slid down the front of her panties, finding her wet folds in a heartbeat.
She moaned so loud it echoed in the room. “Holden…” There was no umph behind her lame protest. She wanted him to touch her. She wanted him to fuck the sense out of her. She struggled, trying to free herself but not succeeding.
“Shh. Let me take the edge off so you can sleep.” He slid a finger into her pussy and groaned. “Fuck me. Mel. You’re so tight.”
She didn’t respond. For one thing, she couldn’t form words. For another thing she’d already told him she hadn’t slept with anyone since him. Yes, she would be tight.
He added a finger, making her arch, and then he used her wetness to circle her clit. His lips came to her ear again. “The waxing is so fucking sexy. I’m glad you kept it up.”
She shuddered. She was going to come any second. He knew how to play her. He knew she loved to be restrained. He knew she loved his lips on her ear whispering sexy things that drove her crazy. He knew exactly how to strum her clit to drive her wild.
“Oh, God.” She came hard, pulsing against his palm and his fingers. Embarrassingly fast.
“That’s it, babe. Milk my fingers.” He slid them back into her as her orgasm continued. “Just like that. So fucking hot.”
When the pulses subsided, she was breathing heavily. The orgasm felt amazing, but she wasn’t fully sated. She wanted that erection at the small of her back inside her. She said nothing though. It was one thing to let him touch her intimately and get her off. It was another thing entirely to let him into her body with his cock.
Wasn’t it? Was she kidding herself? Probably.
He wouldn’t release her when she squirmed. “Are you at least going to let me return the favor?”
He shook his head against her neck. “No. Sleep, Mel.” He eased his hand out of her panties, sucked her arousal from his fingers as if it were the most rational thing in the world to do, and grabbed her hand in his again, resuming the position he loved.
Her heart was racing. Her pussy was still swollen and needy. Her breasts felt heavy. She was trembling. He couldn’t overlook that.
Finally, she drew in a deep breath. “I’m pretty sure if you look up the definition for sex, we just met enough of the requirements. At this point, it hardly matters if we fuck, Holden.”
“We’re not going there tonight, babe. It’s late. You’re exhausted. I’m exhausted. We need a lot more discussion before I take my cock out of my pants,” he informed her.
She sighed. There was no sense arguing with him. At least she’d gotten an amazing orgasm out of the deal.
How much damage was already done? Emotionally, she would not survive losing him again, but that had already been true within moments of waking up last night to find him standing over her. She was foolish to think there was some line, and if they just didn’t cross it, she’d be able to walk away unscathed.
The line had been crossed when the sheet fell down to expose her nudity to him last night. It had been crossed when he’d climbed into his bed with her. It had been crossed so damn many times. She was fighting a losing battle.
They’d spent eleven days together two years ago. Eleven days that had altered her life irrevocably. She’d filed every moment with him in tidy folders in her head and pulled them out every day. Every fucking day.
Meanwhile she’d lied to Callie and Grant. She’d told them she was fine. Pretended she didn’t think of Holden. And it would seem he’d thought of her a lot too.
That didn’t mean anything. They were like star-crossed lovers. Doomed from the start. They didn’t have compatible lives. That was why they’d gone their separate ways in the first place.
And now this. Fate or some warped misfortune had tossed them together again. Now what? She reminded herself nothing had changed. Not a single damn thing.
“Mel…” His gentle voice made her flinch in his arms. She’d been so deep in her head, she’d separated herself from her current situation.
“Yeah?” she whispered.
He stroked her hands with his fingers. “You’re thinking so hard. I know it’s a lot. You’re overwhelmed. I’m here. I’ve got you.” He emphasized his words with a tight grip around her. “Whatever you need, it’s yours. Do you want to sleep in another room?”
She blew out a breath. “No.”
“Good.”
She let herself relax against him. She really did need him. That part was true. The rest she was going to have to figure out as they went along.
Chapter 10
“What are you not telling me?” Callie asked Mel the next morning.
Mel was pacing Holden’s bedroom upstairs. She’d needed some privacy to talk to her best friend on the phone while Holden held a conference call with several members of his team. More than a few of them were involved in this shitshow. She wondered if they would dedicate the same amount of resources to a random person needing similar assistance. Probably not.
Mel wasn’t a random person. She had history with Holden. History that evidently caused his team to refer to her as “his woman.” That hadn’t slipped by her.
Mel ran a hand through her messy curls as she paced. “Probably a dozen things. I can’t keep my lies straight any longer.”
Callie sighed. “I’m sorry you ever felt you had to lie in the first place.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t see another option. If I’d told you I was hung up on Holden after the cruise, you would have pressured me to get together with him.”
“Duh, might I remind you it was you who went behind my back to set up a vacation weekend with Grant for the same exact reason. I was too stubborn to admit I was in love with him and needed to figure out a way to work shit out. And look what happened? We made it work, and now we’re married and life is amazing.”
“It’s different.”
“I knew you would say that,” Callie responded. “But it’s not.”
“It is,” Mel insisted. “I’m not like you. I don’t thrive on danger and chaos. I like order in my life. I like being a boring professor.”
