Secrets of a christmas e.., p.1
Secrets of a Christmas Elf, page 1
To Billy, Beth, Jude and Dylan
Property of Holly Christmas, aged 155 ¾
This diary is secret!
ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?
Sunday 28 October
Dear Diary,
Really worried about Dad.
He’s not as young as he used to be. He’s coming up to his 566th birthday, and I think it’s all getting too much for him.
I know it’s only October, but when I think of all the things he has to do before Christmas, my mind boggles.
First on the list is the grotto here at the North Pole, when he meets all the elf children of the village, marking the start of the season. Then he’s off on tour around the world, visiting nurseries, schools, shopping centres, fairs and just about everything in between. If that wasn’t enough, on Christmas Eve he has to deliver at least one present to every child in the entire world!
Every child on the Nice List, that is.
This morning at breakfast, he couldn’t stop sneezing. I think he’s coming down with something and Mum had to find him a fresh hanky. Then another one. It was gross. Not that any of my nine older brothers and sisters noticed – they were all too busy arguing over the last toffee apple.
I wish there was some way I could help him.
This morning at breakfast, he couldn’t stop sneezing
Monday 29 October
I’ve had one of my ideas!
When I got to the Workshop, I suggested to Steinar, the Right-Hand Elf, that when December comes, I could stand in for Dad in the grotto, to give him a break. But he just laughed at me.
‘Ridiculous!’ he snorted. ‘Imagine, all those excited elf children turning up to meet Father Christmas, and all they get is his daughter Holly! There’ll be riots!’
‘But listen!’ I said excitedly, as an idea began to take shape. ‘I could disguise myself as him! I could put on a false beard and stuff a cushion up my jacket.’
Steinar pulled a face. Now that Ola, the Left-Hand Elf, was in prison for stealing toys, Steinar was in charge of practically everything to do with Christmas. And, in my opinion, it had gone to his head.
‘Children aren’t stupid, you know,’ he sniffed. ‘You’ve got no wrinkles. They’d guess straight away.’
‘Why don’t you do it, then?’ I replied. ‘You’ve got loads.’
Steinar’s eyes widened, and I realised I must have said something rude.
‘Sorry,’ I added hastily. ‘That came out wrong.’
‘May I remind you,’ he said tetchily, ‘that whoever your parents may be, you remain a junior toymaking elf. And a fairly mediocre one at that, judging by your recent toy quotas. Drones are going to be really popular this year, and yesterday you only made 6,492 of them. You worry about your work, and leave me to worry about Father Christmas.’
Tuesday 30 October
One day till Halloween!
There’s going to be a party on the ice rink, where everyone dresses up as their favourite scary character. It’s the last chance for us Workshop Elves to blow off some steam before the Christmas rush, and we all make lots of effort with our costumes.
During our hot-chocolate-and-marshmallow break this morning, I decided to tell my best friend Tog I was going as Taffeta Hound, the Naughtiest Girl Alive. She’s famous here at the North Pole, because she’s been on the Naughty List every year since she was born. That means she has never, ever had a present from Father Christmas!
In fact, a couple of years ago – I remember, because it made the headline of the North Pole News – she put her younger brother in the washing machine on Christmas Eve! She pressed the button to turn the machine on, and if her grandmother hadn’t happened to check up on her, he’d have been boil-washed with their baby sister’s nappies. My dad was so cross that instead of a present, he gave Taffeta a piece of coal in her stocking. He’s always threatening to do that to naughty kids and gives in at the last minute, but this time he actually followed through.
When I told Tog about my plan to go to the Halloween party dressed as Taffeta, he went quiet.
‘Oh,’ he said. ‘I thought we might go together.’
‘Really?’ I asked. ‘As what?’
‘Max and Ola.’
I guess I need to explain who Max and Ola are. Basically, they’re baddies and last year, they tried to steal Christmas!
It was a huge scandal, because Ola was Dad’s Left-Hand Elf, which is a really important job and Dad trusted him. And I really trusted Max. He was a Workshop Elf just like me and Tog, and he and I used to be ice-skating partners.
Anyway, it turned out that Ola was really Grimm Grimmsson in disguise! He used to be a big businessman at the North Pole, making shoes for humans, but he went bankrupt and stole his workers’ pensions. Max is his son, and the two of them were secretly plotting to steal all the toys and sell them. They said it was to make money, but I think the real reason was because they were jealous of Dad. Giving away toys has made him really famous and popular, and the whole Grimmsson family have it in for him.
Luckily Tog and I found out, and we managed to stop them just at the last minute in a super scary sleigh chase. We were even famous ourselves – for a while.
‘I could be Ola,’ said Tog, ‘and you could be Max.’
‘Hmm. I’m not sure,’ I said, thinking it over.
‘Why not?’ asked Tog. ‘I’ve got really good at masks. I could make us look just like them.’
Tog’s speciality is sewing toy lemurs, but recently he’s been branching out into giant anteater masks. You wouldn’t think many kids would ask for one of those for Christmas, but they’ve been very popular in Finland.
‘What if people think we’re showing off?’ I asked. ‘Because we caught them.’
‘Ah,’ Tog said, and went quiet for a bit. ‘I sort of might have made my costume already.’
‘Well, so have I,’ I said, which was true. Taffeta Hound has ginger hair and freckles, or at least she did in the photo I saw that time in the North Pole News. I had borrowed a ginger wig and made it into two plaits, and found one of my sister Sniff’s old dresses that had just the right kind of light blue check. I had even made a pretend washing machine out of an old cardboard box, and put one of my dolls in it to look like Taffeta Hound’s younger brother!
‘Please, Holly,’ said Tog.
‘Look,’ I said. ‘If you want to go with someone else, I really don’t mind. But I’d like to go as Taffeta Hound.’
We changed the subject, but I could tell he was a bit upset.
I hope I’ve made the right decision.
Wednesday 31 October
Tog asked me if I minded him going to the Halloween costume party with Fizz.
Fizz is one of the new Workshop Elves, and I really like her. She’s even better at electronics than I am. And coding. And design. And remote controls. They brought her in to replace Max, who used to make VR headsets.
Tog explained that she’d look really good dressed in Max’s costume because she’s slim with green eyes, just like Max.
Some elves might feel jealous that their best friend is going to the Halloween costume party with someone else, but luckily I’m not that kind of elf.
Anyway, I’d better go because I need to get ready.
Just back from the Halloween party. It was so much fun!
A weird thing happened though.
As soon as we’d finished at the Workshop, I rushed home to get changed into my Taffeta Hound costume. Mum even let me borrow her eyebrow pencil so I could add freckles.
Then I went crunching out into the snow to join the party.
It’s quite a long way from our house to the village, and the snow was piled high on either side of the track. As I entered the forest, a dog sleigh came skittering round the bend. My heart skipped a beat. Side by side on the front seat were Max and Ola!
A chill bristled up my spine as I remembered them hijacking Dad’s sleigh last Christmas Eve. Then I realised it must be Tog and Fizz in disguise!
‘Woah, there!’ I called out, blocking their way.
Side by side on the front seat were Max and Ola!
They pulled on the reins, and skidded to a halt.
‘Hi, Tog! Hi, Fizz!’ I called.
The two figures looked behind them, puzzled.
‘Are you talking to us?’ asked Tog. Whatever I thought about him going to the party with Fizz instead of me, I couldn’t fault his commitment to the role. He had made himself a mask that looked just like Ola, and he was doing something with his voice so that he even sounded like him!
‘You’re going the wrong way!’ I called. ‘The ice rink’s that way!’
‘The ice rink?’ repeated Fizz, pulling a face. Her costume was really good too, and she looked and sounded exactly like Max.
‘Aren’t you going to the party?’ I asked. ‘I love your outfits – especially the overalls. They look just like the ones they have in prison.’
The two figures looked at one another.
‘Ye-es,’ said Tog carefully, grinning at Fizz. ‘That’s exactly where we’re going. To the Halloween party. Dressed as those two notorious scoundrels, Ola and Max!’
They laughed, and I joined in, because their costumes really were very good.
‘See you on the ice!’ bellowed Tog, and he cracked his whip at the dogs, completely in character.
‘Yeah, we’ll be right along,’ added Fizz, still doing Max’s voice.
I watched them drive away, laughing and nudging one another, and for a ti
Tog and Fizz!
Dressed as a lady and a sheep!
‘Wow!’ I said. ‘Why did you change costumes?’
Tog looked confused
‘Don’t you remember?’ I asked. ‘I saw you just now in the lane, dressed as Ola and Max. And now you’re here! Dressed as…’ My voice trailed off, because I wasn’t really sure what they’d come as.
‘Bo Peep and one of her sheep,’ explained Fizz quickly. ‘Going as Ola and Max seemed a bit mean so I talked Tog out of it. Look, I borrowed a hula hoop from the Workshop and sewed it into the bottom of my dress.’
‘And I had lots of wool left over from my lemurs,’ explained Tog.
‘Careful,’ said Tog, as Fizz prodded him with her crook
‘Plus you’ve got quite prominent front teeth,’ added Fizz. ‘Ooh, look! Let’s grab a glass of that spooky green punch.’
‘Careful,’ said Tog, as Fizz prodded him with her crook.
‘I don’t want to lose my sheep, do I?’ Fizz grinned.
Tog didn’t answer. In fact, for a moment he looked quite cross.
All of which made me wonder who I’d bumped into on the lane…
Thursday 1 November
There was a bit of an atmosphere at the Workshop today.
Tog and Fizz weren’t talking to one another. I’m not sure exactly why, but I think it’s something to do with Halloween.
At cinnamon-toast break, Tog went off to sit on his own, and Fizz followed him, asking what was wrong. Tog muttered something about feeling silly in his sheep costume, and Fizz said, ‘How exactly is that my fault?’ Then they refused to speak to one another for the rest of the day, which was quite tricky because the three of us share a workbench.
‘Would you ask Fizz to pass the sticky tape?’ Tog asked, as he was packaging up one of his anteater masks.
‘Would you ask Tog to pass it back, please?’ Fizz would say, a few minutes later.
‘Will you two stop it?’ I huffed. ‘You’re slowing me down!’
Tog was about to reply, when we were all distracted by a commotion at the far end of the Workshop. Tingle, who makes board games, was reading from a fresh copy of the North Pole News, and a crowd of elves had gathered round him.
‘Cloudberry Break Out,’ announced Tingle, and all the elves gasped in surprise. ‘Ola and Max Grimmsson, the former Workshop Elves who tried to steal Christmas last year, have escaped from Cloudberry Maximum Security Prison.’
More gasps. One elf clapped his hand to his forehead in shock. I felt the hairs on my arms stand on end. I must have seen the real Ola and Max on the way to the party!
‘Their cell was discovered empty this morning, with its window bars sawn clean through. Security camera footage shows that that they were recently visited by a mysterious blonde-haired woman wearing sunglasses and a headscarf, who spoke with a Luxembourgian accent and signed herself in as “Madame Appleklatzen”. This is now thought to be a made-up name, as appleklatzen is a type of cake popular in Luxembourg. Police are working on the assumption that she concealed a hacksaw in such a cake, which she brought to the prison as a gift.’
‘Luxembourg,’ mused Tingle. ‘Didn’t they vote for never-ending Christmas?’
It was true. A woman called Eva Klutsch had been elected President, and her main policy was for every day to be Christmas Day. It sounded great to me, but Dad had been really cross.
‘Christmas Day comes once a year,’ he had said. ‘That’s what makes it special. Just because she says it’s Christmas all year, it doesn’t make it true. I’ll still be delivering my presents on Christmas Eve, whatever she does.’
I decided I had better tell Dad the news about Max and Ola escaping, and I rushed up to his office. But Steinar said he’d gone home. His cold had gone to his chest and he needed some rest.
When I got home after work, Dad had already gone up to bed.
Now I’m really worried.
I have never, ever known him to miss a single hour of work before.
I have to help him. But how? There’s no one who can do his job apart from him.
Saturday 3 November
I’ve had the most amazing idea for how to help Dad! I’m going to build a robot that looks just like him to help with all his Christmas duties!
Sunday 4 November
My idea is rubbish.
Monday 5 November
Feeling a bit more confident today. Plucked up the courage to tell Tog about my robot, and he was really encouraging. In fact, he wants to help! He offered to make a mask for the robot to wear. I said I wasn’t sure how the elf children would react to a Father Christmas with the face of an anteater – but Tog promised me it would look just like Dad. To prove it, he showed me the masks of Max and Ola he’d made for Halloween. They were really good! We put them on for fun and made each other laugh.
Tog’s one of my best friends and I’m so grateful he cares about helping Dad.
Tuesday 6 November
Tog and I spent our whole lunchtime working on the robot designs. It’s going to need to do all the things that Dad does, so it’s quite a complex job. It’s fun spending time with Tog, too.
Wednesday 7 November
Worried that Fizz is feeling left out. After Tog and I finished work for the day, we started building the hardware for the robot. As Fizz was leaving, I caught a strange look in her eye. I know Tog went to the party with her instead of me and she made Tog feel silly dressed up as a sheep – but I still feel bad.
Thursday 8 November
Asked Fizz if she would like to help us with the robot, and she smiled and gave me a big hug!
Monday 12 November
T here’s been no time to write in my diary this weekend as Tog, Fizz and I have been working non-stop on the robot. Really glad I asked Fizz to join the team. She’s made a VR headset that can control him! When you put it on, you see through the robot’s eyes and hear through its ears.
She says it might come in handy if we need to override the remote control.
Just a few more days and he’ll be finished. Then all we need to do is test him. It’s just as well, because I can tell Dad’s really stressed about Christmas. He tried to sneak out this morning to go to work, but Mum heard him coughing in the boot room and sent him back to bed. Obviously only Dad can deliver the presents, but the robot could easily give out the toys in the grotto and handle some of the tour dates. Then, with the pressure off, Dad could focus on getting well for the big day. He’s very proud though, so I need to find the right moment to tell him.
Tuesday 13 November
Got told off by Steinar, the Right-Hand Elf. He said my quotas have dropped too far, and gave me an official warning! It was really embarrassing – I mean I’m Father Christmas’s daughter! I think it’s because my mind’s taken up with making the robot. Yesterday, during Workshop hours, I only made 6,297 drones. What if Steinar tells Dad and it makes him even more worried?
Decided I need to put the robot on hold for a bit while I focus on my toymaking.
Thursday 15 November
Something really weird happened last night.
I decided to get an early night, so I’d be fresh for toymaking this morning. I was lying in my bed, staring at the moon (I like it really cold in my bedroom or I can’t sleep, so I always leave the window half-open), when I heard Frosty, our dog, barking outside.
It was the sort of bark she makes when she sees an intruder. I tried calling to her, but she ignored me, so I crept downstairs. My brothers and sisters were all having strawberry waffles in the kitchen, so I snuck past the doorway and slipped outside.
