“You sound like a human. Do not do that out there.” He points to the doors. “Being Lymerian means being a hundred times stronger than a human. That is what it takes to live thousands of years as I have, as Clara has. Live long enough and you will experience greater tragedies than a broken heart.” Vic puts his hand on the door handle.

  “You didn’t answer my question,” I say in a rush, refusing to let myself dwell on his words before I get my answers. “Why were you so wonderful?” I need to know so I can move on.

  “Votaries are very important. We cannot afford to make mistakes with them. A relationship with Merrick was our main objective, but there was always a chance you would not like him.” Vic starts to leave again, but stops. Lacking the courage to turn around, he adds in a bitter tone. “I worked very hard to make sure you liked me, but that is not who I am.” The blood in my veins goes cold. Vic opens the door and leaves.

  He’s lying. The voice, the Guard that’s been living inside me ever since I let go of my human self, knows the truth. I just don’t know which part he’s lying about. The others file back in and sit around the table. I let myself fall into the chair closest to the door.

  “Did he make it clear he does not wish to see you?”

  I glare at Clara. Everything I believed for the past fifteen years has been turned upside down on me, and she expects me to already accept it, to move on. Who am I if I was born to take someone’s place? I was never going to have a human life. Does that make this easier or piss me off even more?

  “You will do well to forget about Victor, Angelica. I have known him as long as I have known anyone. We are from the same surge and trained to be Slayers together. He is my second in command and will have no part of your life now that you are a Guard.” If I believed anything she said, then her words might sting. I can feel myself going numb. “Now. It is time for me to tell you how Liturgy truly works.”

  “How can I trust anything you say, Clara?” Clara has managed to keep secrets from me for years—they all have. Will I know if she is lying now that I am sure of my Guard status?

  “There is no higher law than Liturgy. We could not tell you about your birth until you completed your exams. Once thy self be proven, the truth shall be free to you.” I look at Clara, and there is not sadness or regret in her eyes. Jordan wears a face I’ve come to know well, unchanged and stern. Kyle won’t meet my eyes. I reach for him with that other sense and feel his heartache. My caring for Vic has cut him deeply. He doesn’t want me to love anyone but him.

  When he feels my prodding, he cringes away. “Don’t,” he says, and I back off, too upset to be embarrassed at being caught.

  Clara is waiting to tell her story. There is nowhere for me to go and no one but them to help me. Clara just said it—there is no higher law than Liturgy. I’m trapped here and there is nothing left for me to do but listen to whatever Clara wants to say to me.

  Chapter 23

  Clara

  "What you know about Liturgy is true, but it is not the whole truth. For many years, Lymerians were allowed to leave at will and lead human lives. They married humans and had human children, aged and died. Our numbers decreased. Liturgy began.

  “At first, with the help of Astros, we located humans with Lymerian ancestry. No one was forced to join, though many did. When are numbers stabilized, a compromise was forged between those that wanted to give Lymerians the choice to be human and those that wanted to preserve our kind. Liturgy began. Becoming human would no longer come freely—you had to give something in return. All those that chose to become human must offer a replacement of their own blood. The first- born child of their first-born child must be returned to

  Lymerians to be the replacement for the next Lymerian in line to leave. Thus your debt is paid.

  “Only human adults can survive the transition to Lymerian and sometimes even they do not. We had to find ways to keep the child in the human world but also remove them from their family at an early age. We have used stewards to raise and monitor the replacements for centuries. In addition to keeping an eye on the replacement, they are encouraged to form a bond. We have found the replacement embraces being Lymerian more quickly when they understand that they have not lost all their loved ones.”

  “The Franklins are my stewards,” Angelica states wearily. I nod. “How are the stewards picked? Is it like Liturgy?”

  “They volunteer.”

  She looks skeptical. “All of them volunteered? Even Vic? He volunteered to spend years with two Guards and a human?” The irony of our predicaments is not lost on me. Victor and I shared the same fate in this. “And what about Rebecca? Children volunteer? Is she even a child?”

  “Victor volunteered because Merrick asked him to.” At the mention of his name, Angelica tightens. “Stop,” I say firmly and feel her pull whatever is about to come out back in. “Merrick is gone. If you want to waste time hating him for the rest of your life, you can, but that will not change the fact that he is gone. He is human now and under Lymerian protection. You are going to live long enough to see true cruelty. Merrick lied to you to get the life he wanted, but he followed our rules to get it. Your fate was sealed the moment you were born. If not Merrick, then another.” She sets her jaw, grinding her teeth in fury.

  “And Rebecca?” she growls.

  “She is a young Astro, from Kyle’s surge. If you saw a child when you looked at her, it is because she wanted you to see a child. She volunteered to be a steward because she knew it was her destiny to do so. That is what an Astro would say. Victor is telling the truth about her. She did take a risk helping you. She should never have left Mountain Top. There is a strong bond between you—now everyone knows that.”

  Relief waves over Angelica. Rebecca’s kinship is real.

  “Victor and Merrick are friends? Was Merrick a Slayer?” I nod. “They are both your Slayers?” She is accusing me because I am responsible for the choices my Slayers make. She has no idea how close she is to the real truth but for other reasons entirely.

  “That is enough!” Jordan orders, rising to his feet. He glares at Angelica, silently chastising her implied accusation. Angelica does not flinch, but she looks hurt by Jordan’s outburst. Kyle’s head snaps up, obligated to defend Angelica under any circumstances. Jordan looks at Kyle. No one moves as the four of us stare at each other. “I think it is best if I wait outside,” Jordan finally says.

  “I’ll go too.” Kyle backs out of his chair, and they leave the room together. I pick up where we left off.

  “Victor and Merrick were like brothers, inseparable since they were first born. Merrick wanted assurance with his chance to be human. He knew he could trust Victor, so Victor volunteered to be one of your stewards.”

  “What is Victor? What is a Tolken?”

  “The Tolken is the second highest-ranking Slayer.”

  Angelica takes that in. Does she understand how unique a Guard she is? She has formed intimate relationships with the two highest-ranking Slayers, apart from Anubis. The scrolls weigh heavy in my mind. The decision to name Angelica Guard was not an easy one, but it is the right one. Denial or hiding her among Litmars cannot change what is.

  It is hard to envision the Lymerian she will be someday. Angelica may carry this anger and sadness for lifetimes. It will mold her into someone who can lead us. But lead us where?

  “Why all the games, Clara? Even if the stewards are necessary, why let me believe Merrick and me were real? Anyone could have stolen me in the night and brought me to you. I didn’t need to fall in love.”

  “We could not steal you. We needed you to know what Merrick was and love him anyway. Furthermore, you had to understand how desperately he wanted to be human. Have you forgotten? Those moments that convinced you to give him your blood were real for him. Merrick wanted to be human more than anything. If we had taken you, you would not understand. You could not build trust. Without the bonds you formed with your stewards and the bonds you formed with us, you would not have survived.”

  Angelica looks away again. I can see something building in her, something she has been fighting off since the arena. Finally she looks at me, ready to ask the most important question. “Do you remember my grandparent?”

  “I do not.”

  “How is that possible? All Lymerians must be present for ceremonies. Everyone saw Merrick, and they know what he’s done.” Angelica’s eyes blaze with fury.

  “Once the replacement is born and removed from their parents, the Astros block our memories of the Lymerian that is no more. Their commander, the council, and a few others keep their memories. Since I was not their commander, my memories are gone.”

  “So Merrick will be erased someday? Everyone will forget him, even me?”

  I shake my head. “You are his Replacement. You will remember him always.”

  Angelica ignites again, tearing the room apart. Once all the chairs and table are scattered and broken throughout the room, she sits on the floor, breathing hard.

  Gently I take her hand. When I first told Angelica she was a replacement, I was overwhelmed with sorrow. That night I needed Jordan, and right now it should be Kyle holding her. But Kyle cannot hold her while she cries for the loss of another man.

  “I thought he loved me.” Angelica pulls her hand from mine so she can cover her face. Her shoulders shudder while she wastes her last tears on him. Merrick’s infectious smile floods my barriers, forcing me to remember him one last time as well.

  “Anyone would have fallen in love with Merrick.” It is my only consolation since I cannot bring myself to wrap my arms around her. We are back in Krisenica, I am Vegar, and her sadness cannot touch me. Angelica and I must begin to grow apart. She is a Guard, and I am a Slayer.

  She barely notices when I leave the room, consumed in her losses.

  Outside the door, Kyle still looks like a wounded animal.

  Jordan stands emotionless as always.

  “I leave her to you. Take her to our new quarters, and I will come later.”

  Jordan wants to ask me where I am going and why I am not coming with them, but he knows better. We are back in the real world now, and he cannot question me where others can hear him.

  My first stop is the medic wing. Angelica severely wounded one of the Slayers, and I need to check in on her. Victor is already at Bree’s bed. I take a deep breath to ready myself for this dance we must do. Bree is resting in a neck brace to ensure proper healing.

  “How are you?”

  “Vegar. I’ll be fine.” Bree is used to pain, but the neck injury is substantial. It will take weeks to heal depending on how much blood she accepts.

  “You should not have taunted her. Angelica is my Votary, and you will respect her. Though she is Guard, she will be welcomed to the court by you and every other Slayer. Do you understand?” Bree is young and has not seen many Liturgies. No one is ready for a Votary they must respect, but she is my Votary. Bree nods. “Tolken, accompany me back to the court.”

  Victor stands and we walk side by side to the court. It has been decades since the two of us have been seen like this together. When we arrive, we head straight for one of the safe rooms. Like the giza, soundproof and Astro proof. He shuts the door and waits for me to speak first.

  “What are you doing here? I ordered you to stay away.” Victor’s early return has created a ripple in everything I planned to do with Angelica. And he disobeyed an order, which Victor would only do on Anubis’s behalf.

  “Anubis sent for me, and he was right. She was too strong for them. Even if I had stayed away, nothing could have prevented Rebecca’s interference. Angelica would have figured it out anyway.” No matter how justified his reasons are, there must appear to be consequences. Victor understands that. Over the next weeks, he will play the part of repentant soldier.

  Whether it was Anubis that made the decision or Etherial whispered in his ear, only the Tolken could have stood against Angelica. It was too dangerous for anyone else to try, and Bree was injured. Rebecca’s involvement was the only thing that was going to push Angelica to her limits. Without her, Angelica would be with Farrell right now. Disgusted with that idea, I change the subject.

  “How much has Rebecca told you about Angelica’s future?” Victor looks at me, curious. “You are not her Guard, Victor. You are a Slayer. If you have an advantage with an Astro, then you are to use it to benefit us. Have you gone completely soft?” He has changed much since this all began, but he is still a Slayer. “Astros have many gifts, Victor. You knew the risk you took. I told you it would be unwise to volunteer.”

  Victor’s face hardens. “I know about the Astros. Do you really think I would fall under her spell? Merrick has always been the fool, Clara, not me.” I breathe deep. He knows exactly how to get under my skin. “It is not me you have to worry about in regard to Rebecca—it is your Votary you must watch. Angelica’s feelings for Rebecca are real.”

  “It is more than that. I need to know what Rebecca told you, Victor.” Victor will tell me everything he knows. Not because I am his Vegar, but because he trusts me more than anyone else in Krisenica. The real question is how much did Rebecca let him remember.

  “Rebecca is not like the other Astros. Futures come to her, but she does not seek them. Bits and pieces were all she ever told me. This Liturgy will be different. This Votary will be different. This Votary will be the strongest Lymerian yet to come.”

  Understanding washes over me. “And that is why you assumed Angelica would be Slayer. If you knew the truth, you never would have let yourself care for her.”

  Anger blazes in Victor's eyes, not for me but what he has lost. In our lifetime, Victor has never had a mate. He has had companions, but never taken a mate. None of them were good enough for him.

  “Why would Krisenica need a Guard that powerful?” Victor says as he starts to pace. “Ever since Rebecca told me that Angelica was a Guard, I have not been able to stop thinking about what that means.” This reminds me of our many battles together, preparing plans before we strike.

  “What have you concluded?” I ask slowly, speaking the words with meaning. I know the moment Victor comes to the same conclusion that Kyle, Jordan, and I came to years ago. He faces me, eyes wide with shock. The weight of the future of the Lymerian race sits between us.

  “Remember that someday, you will have to choose a side.”

  Victor has a choice in this. My fate has already been written. Many nights I have laid awake preparing for what is to come. She is my Votary. I will never stand against her. Whomever is to be her ward has not yet tried to take power, but it is coming.

  “Until then?” Victor asks, still holding my gaze.

  “We change nothing. I shall not be the catalyst for what is to come. You have the Slayers. I will return when I can.”

  Victor nods once.

  Chapter 24

  Angelica

  We leave the giza and walk for a long time, weaving through the tunnels and archways of Krisenica. Jordan leads, then me, and Kyle behind us. Between the two of them, I appear a well-protected prisoner. Am I a prisoner? No one explained the rules up here, only that we’d be together. The rest depended on my placement. My placement. The horror show in the arena replays, feeding oxygen to the small flame of fury that’s been burning inside me since I recognized Vic’s voice. I ignore the beautiful carvings in the walls, magnificent archways, and gawking onlookers, refusing to be distracted. Instead, I think about my options.

  Two paths lie before me. Be Guard Angelica, Votary to the Vegar and mate to Kyle. Obey the laws of Krisenica. Forgive and forget everything that happened before the ceremony. Or wait, watch, and find a way to escape them as Merrick pretended to do. It’s the first time I’ve dared to consider this possibility, but my performance in the arena gives me hope. Why should I stay? My Lymerian brain interrupts, asking the important questions. Is it even possible to outrun them? Where would I go? How could I hide from them?

  Trumping every troubled thought is my trusted companion, the voice that dwells in the innermost part of me. Rebecca. You must stay for Rebecca.

  Then what? Victor has abandoned me for his place with the Slayers. Rebecca is unreachable and an Astro. She doesn’t need me—Peter is her Guard. Can she even be trusted? Judy and Peter are Guards, but so what? They barely noticed me when we lived in the same house. The rest of the Lymerians are faceless beings. Clara told me once that I would find no friends in Krisenica. Kyle, Jordan, and Clara are all I have.

  You have Rebecca. A hundred memories remind me why I can’t leave.

  We reach a long, high wall with a row of archways across the bottom. Kyle described this to me before, the entrance to the largest gymnasium. Guards live in gymnasiums, and I am a Guard. It looks like a maze of tunnels, each archway leading to a different path. Jordan doesn’t pause as he guides us through several turns, eventually stopping in front of an opening—our new living quarters.

  My room is modern, plaster walls and linoleum floors, but otherwise identical to my previous one. There is a light, chair, and bed, but also clothes. Now I shed my Votary red for Guard gray. Jordan and Kyle leave without saying anything to me. I listen to their footsteps, afraid of how far they will go from me. It’s a silly thought. No matter how strained we are, Kyle is still my Guard. Both settle in nearby rooms, and I change.

  It’s hours before I track Clara moving toward us. Eventually she reaches our quarters and goes straight to her room. We stay divided in separate corners through the night. Liturgy pulls at us, whispers that we are stronger together. The sounds of the others shifting restlessly is a small consolation. I hope that their sleepless night has something to do with knowing how much they’ve hurt me. They are all liars. All Lymerians are liars.

  Rebecca. She lied too, but she also risked something for me.

  The past and the future run laps in my mind. Should I wholeheartedly accept my fate again? When I walked into the arena, I was ready to be one of them. But this, the depth of their lies, is too much. Yet there isn’t another option. Even if I could leave Rebecca, an escape could take decades to plan. I’d have to play along and gain everyone’s trust in the meantime. I’d never be able to fool Clara.

 

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