Light lordy, p.1
Light Lordy, page 1
Light Lordy
Brent Tyman
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Epilogue
Afterword
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Copyright © 2020 Brent Tyman.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
ASIN: B088B67KVF
Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Names, characters, and places are products of the author’s imagination.
1
I was kicking back, reading a new light novel, when the door to the basement crashed open. I looked up in shock before I realized that I almost tore the page in my hand.
“Leon Light,” my mom growled as she loomed over in the doorway. From her posture, she reminded me of an evil boss from one of the RPG’s I had played recently. Luckily, she wore her kitchen apron and not the -20% damage resistance gear that mob had.
Was she here to bust my ass again? Honestly, with the amount of times she had slammed on my door, it wouldn’t be long until that door smacked her back.
I giggled, that would be funny.
“What?” I asked as I carefully put my light novel down, perfectly placed on my desk. The image of the woman in an erotic pose might upset my mom, so I sighed as I flipped it over. The woman’s barely covered ass was now broadcasted instead, her panties visible. I turned it over again quickly.
“Are you paying attention?” my mom snapped as she crossed her arms.
“Yep, yep,” I said as I swiveled from side to side on my chair. If this was a boss fight, I had to keep a careful eye on her movements. Her posture showed she was agitated, so I had to make sure I dodged out the way if she attacked me.
“You are the most insolent child I have ever conceived. Do you mind explaining this?” my mom said as she produced a book from somewhere. My eyes bulged as I stared at the cover.
“Silly Maidens 3!” I shouted as I got off my chair. “The silliest maidens in the most unlikely of situations. Fujitsu Fuli rated it 7.9 stars!”
My mom gave me a scorching look that forced me to sit my ass back down. She sighed as she lowered the book and narrowed her eyes.
“I think something is wrong with you. Oh, where did I go wrong?” my mom lamented as she directed a glare at the silliest maidens.
You can't give those maidens such a look! That’s inconceivable! I had to stop her.
“Mom, please. Can I have?” I asked in an almost puppy like way. I was sure that if someone else looked at me, they would be seeing an entirely too thin man making a dumb pose. Some people might even beat me up.
Not my mom. Despite all the glares and distaste, I loved her. And she somehow still loved me. Even if I was a good for nothing. Mangas are cool, though.
My mom sighed as she waved the book, fanning her face with it. That made me nervous, and I wondered if this boss was about to get the better of me.
“Uhm,” my mom stammered. “It came in the mail yesterday, but I didn’t have time to give it to you then. Make yourself useful, bring some groceries back from the ration dispensers. Then you can have your… silly maidens.”
“Silly maidens 3,” I corrected with an upturned finger. My mom rolled her eyes at me as she left the basement to go back upstairs.
I almost jumped for joy as I bolted out of my chair and grabbed my coat. Silly maidens 3 and the new manga I ordered will consume my whole day. I was getting really good at holding my own against the mom boss fight. Now it was time to play a little walking simulator.
Going to get groceries made me pause, however. The bombs wouldn’t drop till night-time, but every once in a while, they appeared during the day as well. I guess that if they were to appear at all, I would prefer they drop on me outside than at my home. My sister and my mom had good jobs to look forward to, while I had my amazing manga collection. It would devastate me if anything happened to it. I had just finished categorizing everything in both name and lewdness. Silly maidens 3 was said to be fairly lewd, and I grinned at the thought.
I passed my sister on the way, who was watching TV in the living room. I heard a “Nerd” from her and flipped her the finger.
She just didn’t understand the intricacies of manga’s, the struggle of the fair maidens. All TV had was how screwed the country was in the war. What can one learn from that?
We lived on a fairly quiet street, contrasted next to us was a fairly busy main road. I had a few credits for groceries, but I wouldn’t be able to get much. Maybe some eggs or milk.
Since the street was always dead at this time, I walked along the road. No one would drive fast in our neighborhood, anyway.
Next month would be the day that a brand-new light novel from Kusuma mama would release. It was said to have very skimpy maidens with super powers. One of them even had a power to turn a mob into a sheep. That would be great in boss fights. Imagine turning the troll king or the dragon devastator into a harmless animal. Then watch a party of scantily clad women beat it to death. The thought would definitely make my nose run with blood if I didn’t get a vaccine against my sinus’s last year.
A horn blasted behind me, but before I could turn my head, crippling pain lanced across me. A white light enveloped my vision as I floated into the sky.
What had happened?
From my new vantage point, I had seen the delivery truck speed along my neighborhood.
There was no doubt about it.
Truck-kun had just bitch slapped me across the road. The vehicle didn’t even look damaged aside from all the blood. This is what happens when you don't eat right. I hadn’t been eating the salads that my mom gave me. I bet they gave +1 constitution or something, but I didn't listen.
I didn’t listen.
I floated higher and higher. It was then that I realized a horrible truth.
MY MANGA!
No more silly maidens 3!
Truck-kun would have had that new manga I wanted too!
Nipple Whipple 1. I would never get to experience those sweet pert graphic nipples on those bountiful breasts. There was a lot of controversy since they made more censored versions than uncensored ones. I had managed to get a glorious uncensored copy with great expense. It's all gone to waste, my family hated manga!
“No!” I called out, but my voice was all wispy and quiet.
“My manga!” I shouted as I seemed to float higher and higher.
What will become of my collection?
God truly was cruel to rob a man of manga.
Was I in heaven now? I looked down to see small wisps of smoke that looked like clouds. There was whiteness all around me and a blue sky above.
There was no manga in sight, and I sighed as I tried to come to terms with the loss of my collection.
My sister would likely burn it all, and my mom wouldn’t stop her. All those maidens turned to dust. The very thought made me want to vomit.
Can I vomit in heaven?
I was just about to try when a small white orb zipped along my vision. It was small and danced along the clouds before coming within a few feet of me.
Suddenly, the orb turned into a woman, and she smiled widely at me with pearly white teeth.
“Welcome, brave soul,” the woman said with an ethereal quality. “You have died and have been born again for a great mission.”
My manga sense was tingling. That meant something wasn’t right.
Almost instantly, I treated this encounter as another boss fight. It was best to make sure I didn’t get killed in heaven.
“Who are you?” I asked with suspicion and a raised eyebrow. I narrowed my eyes at the woman.
“I am the Goddess of light. The holy one that watches over all,” the woman introduced herself, and some angel wings suddenly sprouted behind her blue dress.
“You’re a goddess?” I asked, surprised. She nodded pleasantly at me.
“Then why do you look so old?” I asked. Instantly, her smiling face soured into a glare. “Surely goddesses don’t have wrinkles. Shouldn’t your skin be as soft as a maiden’s?”
It was true. She had the face of a mature woman in her fifties. Even her breasts sagged a little. My many years of reading quality manga had improved my skill of noticing beauty. It was a powerful skill to have, and I must use it with care.
“Why you litt…” The goddess growled before she shook her head to regain her composure. Her smile returned soon after, but we both knew it was fake now.
“I have watched over the universe for billions of years; hence I took on a more… wrinkled from,” the goddess explained.
“No, you haven’t’” I retorted.
“Yes, I have.”
“Nope,”
“Yes.”
“Nope, a woman proud of her looks
I could feel the goddess’s eyes bore into my head and had the feeling that I was losing this boss fight. I had to save the situation.
“You are still pretty though,” I offered, and the goddess nodded her head.
“Yes, I am. Anyway, I have pulled you away from that war-torn world of yours to help another world in its time of trouble,” the goddess told me.
“Wait,” I stopped her with an upturned hand. “You’re the one that made Truck-kun smash into me like a train? That really hurt, you know.”
The goddess became flustered again, and I grinned as I seemed to get the upper hand.
“As a reparation, I want my manga collection back,” I insisted.
“Your manga collection?” the goddess said with a tilted head. “What the fu.. I mean, I am afraid that we cannot beam anything from your planet. No mortal items can pass into heaven.”
Beam? Gods and goddess’s beam stuff into heaven?
“Now let me tell…” the goddess started, but suddenly a massive boom resounded and the lights went out.
I knew it… This wasn’t heaven!
Instead of the clouds, blue sky and whiteness, everything was now grey, blue and black. A large circular room surrounded me, almost pulled straight from a sci-fi story. All was metal, with neon lights flashing all along my vision.
The goddess had also changed. She had worn a flowing blue dress you would see on any high-class lady. Her dress was no more, replaced by a blue uniform. It was like a soldier’s uniform too, with a badge, belt and…
Holy shit!
She had a gun on her belt. It was a literal phaser; from a movie I saw once. Some of my mangas had them too. A space gun!
“No, no, not now,” the goddess, or now human, said. She narrowed her eyes at me.
“Don’t move, just stay right there and it should correct in a moment,” she said with all seriousness. I focused on her badge and it said the name Tyniks. That was probably her second name.
“What’s going on?” I asked as another boom shook the walls. The woman looked more and more worried by the second.
A nearby wall opened, which must have been a door. A middle-aged man appeared and glared at the goddess human.
“Tyniks, get him into the bloody machine now. We are almost about to prime spasm,” the man said before he disappeared down the hallway.
“Yes Sir,” the woman saluted to no one before she directed her attention at me.
“Come, we need to get you into a pod,” Tyniks said as she grabbed my arm.
“You haven’t answered my questions,” I said, but a glare from the woman shut me up. The last thing I wanted was to meet my end in this sci-fi heaven.
“That can come later, just follow,” Tyniks said. It seemed she was under an enormous amount of stress and let me go, expecting me to follow.
From what I could tell, I was either in a futuristic underground bunker or on a spaceship. The sleek metal walls and circuitry going everywhere was something I had never experienced before. It was both cool and worthy of its own manga chapter.
The woman dashed off in front of me and I followed her for a bit before I got bored. The hallways were endless, and I wanted to explore this place. It was something the hero of a light novel did once. I was still kinda sad that my collection was long gone though, and I needed something to cheer me up.
As Tyniks turned a corner, I quickly dashed down another hallway and looked around. None of the doors would open for me, making a strange beep as I neared them. Luckily there also didn’t seem to be anyone around either, so I explored at my leisure.
I finally came across a view port that I thought showed what was outside this place. As I looked out, I saw tiny, gleaming white lights—stars amongst a black void.
Holy crap! I was in space!
I could even see the brief outline of the ship I was on. It was hard to tell from my narrow viewpoint, but the ship looked huge as I scanned its hull. This was beyond cool.
There were also bits of debris that floated along beside us, as well as dark red shapes that zipped along. I couldn’t quite make out what they were though before something grabbed my arm.
I twisted my head in shock as Tyniks’ angry face came into view. She did not look happy.
“What did I tell you? You were meant to follow, we don’t have…”
Another boom resounded, and she gripped me tighter as the whole ship lurched.
Holy crap, were we about to die? It figured that as soon as I board a spaceship, it's about to explode!
“Shit, shit, shit,” Tyniks said as she looked at me. “Come on, it's time for you to go to sleep.”
That was the wrong thing to say. Put me to sleep? Did she want to kill me a second time? I’m pretty sure everyone only gets one chance to die, and I didn’t want to go through that pain again.
Her hand was tight against my arm, but I tugged quickly and bolted away from her.
“Hey, what the hell?” I heard her screech behind me, but I wasn’t about to stop for anything. The doors ahead of me opened automatically, which was great. I kept running until I entered a room that had to be the bridge of the ship.
Alarms buzzed everywhere, and there was a whirl of activity. Two very tall space guards with closed visors stared at me for a moment before they approached with their assault rifles at the ready. I gulped as they neared.
Of all the boss fights I had experienced through games and manga, space guards would be an effort, even for me.
Shit.
A huff caught my eye amongst all the chaos, and Tyniks appeared beside me. She wrapped her arm around my own and squeezed way too tightly.
“Hey!” I protested, but she glared at me.
“It's all right guys, he’s with me,” Tyniks said to the space guards and they relaxed as they continued their stroll along the bridge.
There were windows all along the front with the blackness of space beyond. Terminals were stacked neatly beside each other, and each was manned by a uniformed human just like Tyniks. At least they weren’t aliens, but that would have been cool too.
A lewd alien maiden.
Hmm.
There were flashes of light on the windows as the alarms blared. I wondered if we were under attack by another ship.
Tyniks seemed almost paralysed by the activity on the bridge, her face watching the display with an open mouth. This gave me an opportunity to listen in what was happening.
The ship lurched again as another explosion sound rippled through the air.
“Bio warhead, another hit to starboard,” a man shouted.
“Reading shift to south by southwest. 4.4 G’s,” another man said.
“Prime disrupter’s offline, cycling new,” a woman said.
I was in a sci-fi movie, an honest to god sci-fi movie. I half expected a director to pop out the door and tell that woman to put more feeling into her lines.
“Damn demons, get the Prime drive ready,” a grizzled old man barked as he stood tall in all the activity. He directed his attention to me and Tyniks.
“Private, what are you doing here with him? Get him into a pod now. We need every lick of energy we can muster!” the old man shouted before he turned away.
This seemed to snap the woman out of her world, and she tugged me towards the door.
“I’m gonna drag you all the way there. Let’s go,” Tyniks said.
I had no idea where she wanted me to go, but I figured anywhere was better than here.
“You’re just a private? I got a lowly private as a goddess?” I said, and I heard her growl as she pulled me along.
Tyniks offered no more comments, even when I tried to ask her more questions. She seemed determined to keep dragging me to our destination.
Also, did that old man mention demons? Do demons actually exist or was that a figure of speech?
I wondered if there were demon maidens loitering about.
