The wolf diaries, p.13
The Wolf Diaries, page 13
Jadin: …
Jadin: I’ll be right out.
April 7
Is my life just super weird, or…?
No.
I know it’s super weird.
Yesterday, Mona—you remember Mona, Tess’s best friend who was catering at the party—showed up outside of my little house. Actually, she didn’t just “show up” outside of my little house, she showed up in my parents’ driveway, because—of course—we share a drive, and she sent me a text, completely out of the blue, demanding to “fight” me because I’d done something to upset Tess.
That’s…not the kind of text I usually get.
So, of course, I went outside right away, because I was gonna be damned if I dragged my parents into this. I mean, obviously they’re wolves too, but planning a trip to the farmer’s market is their speed, lately.
They don’t do fights anymore. That’s plenty of years behind them.
So there was Mona, sitting on the hood of my car, her short little body completely riddled with tension, and her lips up and over her teeth…
Which were already pointed.
Which meant that she was pissed, and her wolf was coursing just under her skin, ready to come out at any second.
I live in the little house behind my parents, as I’ve mentioned, and there’s a tall wooden gate and fence around the house, but where I park my car is right in the open, the driveway connected to the sidewalk that wends its way through the neighborhood.
Translation: anyone could see us.
We don’t live in a wolf-only neighborhood. Hell, I don’t even know if one of those exists.
So I shook my head, jerked my thumb back through the open gate to the backyard.
“Can’t we just talk about this?” I asked her wearily. “I promise, it’s not what you think, Mona.”
“Like hell it isn’t.” She hopped off the hood of my car with lightning speed, and then she was in front of me in a heartbeat, her hands balled into fists, her whole body vibrating with that tension.
She snarled at me.
The thing is, and I promise this is not an insult to vertically challenged (read: short) people, but…Mona was much shorter than me, and she was pretty wiry, and even though I could tell she was my age, she looked young, and when she snarled…
I probably did the worst possible reaction.
In my defense, her showing up at my door was pretty damn unexpected and I’d been having a rough time (remember, I’ve been eating a lot of pizzas by myself, something that doesn’t exactly scream “I’m perfectly okay over here!”).
So…I chuckled at her.
And Mona didn’t like that.
There was suddenly something very solid ramming into my torso as Mona ran into me, her head down, her shoulder hitting me right in the middle. I doubled over, the breath leaving my lungs fairly quickly, and then I was flying through the air, because Mona had put a lot of strength behind her.
I crashed into the gate.
And it hurt.
“Dammit, anyway, you’ve got to listen to me,” I wheezed, but Mona was already there, and a fist was flying through the air, because—apparently—she still had enough sense in her to realize that we had to do this whole business as humans, or risk the actual humans seeing us as wolves.
Thankfully, I move pretty quickly myself, and I’d been anticipating a follow up attack.
From my place on the ground, I reached up and my palm connected with her fist.
I grabbed it and held on.
“Listen,” I hissed, grinding my teeth together, “it is not what you think.”
“Oh, really? It’s not what I think? That you broke Tess’s heart? What did I tell you?” Mona growled, her teeth elongating, even as I watched her. “I told you,” she snarled, “that she was in a delicate state.”
“Yeah,” I huffed, holding onto her fist, still, even as Mona tried to drag it back, “but did she tell you how much of a delicate state?”
“I’m pretty sure,” Mona huffed and puffed—we were pretty evenly matched, it turned out. She couldn’t get her hand out of my grip, so she tried with the other one, throwing a punch at my head.
I caught the other hand, and then I just lay there, on the ground, as Mona tried to drag her fists back, or push them down into me, neither way succeeding, crouching on my stomach.
It was plenty awkward.
“Tess asked me to pretend to be her girlfriend,” I told Mona then, trying to catch my breath. “I was only acting as her girlfriend to show Laurie that Tess had turned out okay after the breakup.”
Mona blinked.
She stared down at me.
“…What?”
“I wasn’t really Tess’s girlfriend. Tess and I met in a pizza parlor, and Laurie was coming in, and Tess wasn’t prepared for Laurie to see her eating a pizza…alone.” I know that feeling, I thought glumly as I stared up at Mona. “She wasn’t really my girlfriend.” And then I followed it up with a pretty stupid statement, “as much as I wanted—” I stopped myself before I went all the way, but Mona—of course—had caught it, her being only about a foot from me and all.
She relaxed, I relaxed, and then Mona straightened, and I let go of her fists. For her part, they were no longer fists—she rose, letting her hands rest at her sides, then shook her head and offered me a hand to help me up from my position, on my back on the gravel driveway.
When I took her hand, I winced a little—she’d driven my shoulder pretty damn hard into that gate.
“Sorry,” she muttered, then glanced at me a little sheepishly. “So, wait. What’s going on? Can you…um…this is all pretty weird.” She leaned back into her heels, ran her hands back through her short, red hair, making it stick up in all directions. “Can you explain things in a little more detail?”
I shrugged, and considered her for a moment.
I know we’d both just been fighting, but if Mona came all this way to deliver on her promise because I’d “hurt” Tess, then she really cared about her.
And I needed to talk about Tess, just then.
It was better than eating pizza alone.
So I nodded, jerked my thumb back toward my place. “Yeah…I can explain,” I told her. And then I invited her into my little house, because why the hell not?
And then I told Mona everything.
I, of course, also shared my pizza with her, because I’m not a monster.
At the end of my long and painful tale, Mona leaned back on my battered old couch and shook her head, folding her hands over her now pizza-filled belly. “Wow. That’s some twisted shit right there.”
“Tell me about it,” I groaned, and leaned back on my couch, too. I put my feet up on my little coffee table and sighed for a long moment, gazing unseeing at the vintage seventies lamp beside the couch. It had actual shag fringe along the bottom of the shade, and was one of my most treasured possessions, because I’m ridiculous. I glanced sidelong at Mona, then. “Why did you come here, anyway? How did you find out that…well, that Tess ‘broke up’ with me?”
“We talk every day,” said Mona with a little shrug, “and I asked how you two were doing, and I sort of yelled at her for not telling me you two had gotten together…you know, normal shootin’ the shit.” She wrinkled her nose. “So, after all that, Tess told me that you’d both mutually broken up, and I guess I just lost it. I imagined her being all sad, and figured you were to blame even though she said you weren’t, and since she expressly ‘forbade’ me—her word—to not eff up Laurie, I figured you were the next best thing.”
“Gee, thanks,” I muttered, casting my eyes heavenward.
“I really am sorry,” said Mona, and she looked so genuinely apologetic that I gave her a bit of a laugh and waved it off.
“It’s okay—I’ll put an ice pack on my shoulder and be good as new, soon,” I said with a little grin…which faded away. “You know what’s honestly horrible?”
“What?”
“That I was about to say, honest to goodness, ‘but my heart is not so easily mended.’ When the hell did I become this person?”
Mona shifted uncomfortably in her seat, then shook her head. “Man…I’m gonna give it to you straight. When you were telling me your story earlier, I saw it, clear as day: you really have it bad for Tess.”
I nodded, miserable.
“The thing is, I don’t think you’re in lust with her.” She shrugged easily. “I mean, I’d get that—she’s a pretty lady and all. But this is more than that.” Her eyes were calculating as she cast another glance my way. “Isn’t it.”
It wasn’t a question.
“Yeah.” I hated dragging my heart out of my chest and showing it to someone who was—more or less—a complete stranger. It felt intensely vulnerable and a little weird, but I didn’t have anyone else to talk to about this.
And now Mona knew everything about everything.
And she was easy to talk to. I could understand why Tess adored her—they’d work really well together as friends, I thought, as I looked at her. Tess was pretty put together and Mona was a little…well…
“Sorry to go all crazy on you there,” said Mona with an easy shrug. She stretched and rolled her shoulders before draping her arms on the back of the couch. “I low-key stalked you, found out where you lived and then I just showed up here. I guess I just wanted to pummel something after Laurie was such an asshole, and Tess was just so…so…accepting about it all. She’s all like ‘Laurie and Helene are childhood sweethearts! Laurie should be with Helene! They’re fated, blah, blah’ and I’m all like woman, fight for your woman! But she didn’t listen to me. She said it wasn’t the right thing to do.” Mona rolled her eyes so emphatically that I honestly wondered if they might pop out of her head and fall onto the floor.
“Yeah, I mean—it’s obvious you’re super loyal. That’s…nice. I can’t fault you for it,” I said, shaking my head. “No hard feelings. Honestly? I’m glad I got to talk about this whole thing with someone.”
“Yeah…” said Mona, but she didn’t look entirely convinced. “So…what are you going to do about all of it?”
We stared at one another.
“Do?” I blinked. “Tess and I broke off the whole acting arrangement, so there’s not really anything—”
“Dude,” Mona drawled and sighed for so long that it ended with a groan, like she’d run out of the air in her lungs she needed to keep the sigh going. “Not you, too!”
“Me…too?” I asked, not understanding.
That is, until Mona stood up in front of me and waved her hands in front of my face.
“Um, hello in there! You just said that you have mega feelings for Tess, right?”
“I don’t think I said it in quite those words—”
“Whatever. You have feelings for Tess, right?”
I took in a deep breath.
But then I nodded.
“And they’re pretty strong feelings, right?” she persisted, narrowing her eyes.
“Well, yes, but—”
“Dude,” sighed Mona, drawing out the word so that I was reminded very, very strongly of hairspray and neon spandex. “It’s pretty damn simple: if you love the girl, fight for the girl. I told this to Tess, but she didn’t listen, and I’m honestly hella glad she didn’t listen, because Laurie was always an asshole to her, and—frankly—Laurie did not deserve Tess. But you?” Mona put her hands on her hips and gave me the once over, as if she was sizing me up. “You’re not an asshole. I can tell. And I can also tell you give a shit about Tess and care about her, and I saw how you were looking at her at the party, and it gave me butterflies, right here.” She patted her heart.
If you’d asked me if Mona was a person who could even get “butterflies,” I don’t think I would have said yes. She was a little rough around the edges, but I was starting to be thoroughly convinced that she had a heart of gold somewhere in there.
I sighed, worked my jaw, and then, quietly…I said the truth.
“The thing is, Tess still loves Laurie,” I murmured. “And…there’s no getting around that, you know? She still loves her. It’s obvious. And you can’t break through love. Love is stronger than…well. Anything.” I swallowed, pain radiating out of my heart.
It hurt to say that.
Mona sighed and glanced down at me, obviously deflating. She sat down on the other end of the couch, drew up her legs beneath her and sort of sagged there. She bit her lip, put her chin in her hand, and then she stared unseeing at the empty pizza box.
“The thing is, I don’t know why Tess is still in love with her,” she groaned after a long moment. “Laurie and her never had a real connection. She thought Laurie was hot, and Laurie was powerful, and I think that just made Tess horny or whatever.”
“‘Or whatever,’” I repeated, raising a brow and trying not to dejectedly chuckle.
Mona flicked her gaze to me, and then she did chuckle, giving a helpless shrug. “I don’t know. I’m her best friend, right? I saw Tess and Laurie together a lot. And there were no sparks. Tess loved Laurie, but I truly and honestly believe that Laurie didn’t give a damn about Tess. She was sort of like…just holding onto her until something better came along. Those are the vibes I got, anyway.” Mona shrugged again.
I took a deep breath, opened my mouth and was about to say something else, but a knock on the door derailed my thoughts.
Three short knocks and one really hard one—it was my Mom, who decided that was her code, because she watched one too many Datelines and decided that she and Dad needed a code to knock on the door, because…well, I mean, we’re werewolves. We’re not really in danger of anything, most days.
“Gimme a second—it’s my mother,” I told Mona, rising and heading toward the door. I didn’t have to explain to Mona about living behind my parents, because we’re werewolves. We have a strong pack mentality, and to werewolves, living behind your parents in your thirties doesn’t mean that you’ve failed at life.
Mostly.
I answered the door, and there my mother stood, her long gray/blonde hair loose and flowing over her tie-dyed shoulders like she was going door to door to tell people about the gospel of the Grateful Dead.
“Hey, Mom, I’ve got company,” I murmured, but that didn’t deter her from pushing open the door and striding in, her eyes twinkling with good humor.
“I know, dear, and I’m excited to see it!” she chirped. “And who might this lovely lady be?”
Mona rose, rubbed her pizza-y palms off on her jeaned bottom and offered a hand to Mom to shake. “I’m Mona,” she said, nodding her head and grinning in turn. “I’m Tess’s best friend—”
“Tess! Your girlfriend! Oooh, I just got goosebumps! What a co-inky-dink!” gushed my Mom, putting an arm about Mona’s shoulders, and then also putting an arm about my shoulders and squeezing the both of us before she let go. “Darling, I’m having my Moon Tea on Saturday, and I wanted you to bring Tessie. And you can come too, Moanie, if you want!”
Mona stared at me with wide eyes.
I…don’t think anyone had ever called her “Moanie” in her life. But that was just my Mom, through and through.
It didn’t matter if you were Good King Wenceslas. At the end of any interaction at my parents’ house, you’d be “Wentzie,” and she’d give you a Tupperware box of freshly baked cookies to go.
My mother was a new age fueled powerhouse, wrapped up in the body of a woman so short that to reach our shoulders, she’d had to stand on her tiptoes, and drag us bodily toward her like she was grabbing dolls off a shelf.
It says a lot about the presence of my mother that anyone she ever did this with just went along for the ride.
“Um…” Mona cleared her throat, gave a grin down at my mother. “Moon Tea?”
“Wolf-only, dear,” said my mother with a brisk little shake of her head. “I get all the wolf ladies I know to come on over, and we dialogue about being a woman in this patriarchal cesspool of a world. We invoke the Goddess into the circle, and then with our yonis we—”
“Got it,” said Mona hastily, holding up both of her palms. “I’m sorry, I’m busy on…” She trailed off, looking at me with a helplessness that was pretty damn hilarious.
I let the silence drag on for a few seconds too long before I gave her a hand. She had thrown me into a fence after all, dammit.
“Saturday,” I supplied with a smile.
“Saturday,” Mona repeated instantly, clearing her throat.
“Ah,” said my mother, her eyes flashing. “Well, we’ll hate to miss you. But you’re coming, missy,” she said, turning to me and reaching up to tap my nose with her forefinger, “and you’re bringing that lovely girl of yours. You’ve backed out on too many in a row, dearheart—you’ve gotta come to this one.”
I cleared my throat, was about to launch into the whole “well, you know that girlfriend I had? I don’t have her anymore,” speech, but—over my mother’s head—Mona’s face…changed.
It went from kind of neutral, kind of uncomfortable because the word “yoni” had been uttered…
And then she looked at me with eyes so wide, I wondered if there might be a Sasquatch behind me.
There wasn’t one, of course, but that was the expression she gave me: “oh, my Goooood.”
“Sure, Mom—can we talk about it later?” I asked her, and ushered her firmly toward the door.
Thankfully, even though my mother does push boundaries, she also knows when to take a hint. She reached up and patted me affectionately on my cheek, and then she flowed out of my cottage. Literally flowed—she’d layered her tie-dye skirts, and they all sort of swooshed after her like a colorful tidal wave.
Once I’d closed the door after her, Mona was right in front of me, gripping my t-shirt’s collar in her hands. “Oh, my God,” she muttered to me, her face alight with a sort of rabid delight that was only slightly terrifying. “Oh, my God, Jadin, I’ve got it.”
“Got what?” I managed, taking her hands and gently pulling them off my collar.
“The solution!”
“The solution to what?”
“You’re being really damn obtuse, you know that?” she snorted, then sighed for a long moment, putting her palm to her forehead. “The solution to this whole damn problem!” she gestured. “The problem of you not having the girl, but wanting the girl, and needing another chance to get the girl!”
