“What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I thought we weren’t doing the heart-to-heart thing?” he joked.

  “Yes, well…” A weighted sigh fell from my lips. “My heart’s a little tired. It could use a bit of comfort.”

  He smiled, but it felt more like a frown. He crossed his arms and leaned against my doorframe. “Kai’s a good one, Holly. Yeah, he has his baggage, and his ex did something completely stupid, but he didn’t do it. He cares about you more than I’d seen anyone care for a person—outside of Dad and Mom. So, maybe consider giving him another chance. He’s one of the good ones. You know how far and in-between those are, especially in this city. Get some sleep. It’s late.”

  I did as he said, taking his words to heart. As I closed my eyes, I prayed for clarity. Knowing that even though my heart was tired, the sun would still rise come morning.

  KAI

  Somehow, I’d avoided dinner with my parents until New Year’s Eve came around. I’d overheard my father telling Mom that I was ungrateful for not entertaining them over the past few days. As if they weren’t rude for bashing into my life uninvited. Mano did his best to keep the peace in the household, but it was almost impossible. Whenever I did anything, my parents seemed to have an opinion on my choices.

  Why are you opening that can with an automatic can opener? The handheld ones work better.

  Your garbage disposal needs good bleaching.

  You’re going to ruin your shirts by hanging them on those plastic hangers.

  That’s a pretty small television in your living room. Let me gift you a new one. I know you wouldn’t do the same for us, but I’d like to offer you a new TV.

  Their seemingly kind gestures came with a passive-aggressiveness that made my skin crawl. Their ability to nitpick at everything was impressive. Who knew the way someone put on a roll of toilet paper could lead to World War III?

  I counted the minutes until they headed to the airport later that evening. They were taking a taxi right after dinner, and I couldn’t wait to wave them off to wherever the hell it was they were going to after they finished ruining the end of my year.

  “It’s about time you made it to one of our dinner outings,” Mom mentioned as I walked into Rare steakhouse. It was one of the best steakhouses in the city. At least I was going to get a good meal from the dreadful dining experience with my parents.

  “I told you, I had a busy few days,” I mentioned. “I would’ve planned some free time if you had made me aware of your arrival beforehand.”

  “Yes, well, you must forgive us for thinking otherwise, seeing you go out of your way to avoid us whenever we’re in town.”

  I didn’t argue that assessment. I didn’t argue anything. I put my napkin in my lap, picked up my menu, and prayed for time to move quickly.

  Mano sat beside me and smiled, trying his best not to make the dinner uncomfortable. “I was thinking of signing up for Habitat for Humanity next semester,” he said, trying to bring some conversation to the awkward silence that was taking place.

  “Oh? That’s amazing, sweetheart! You’ve always had a giving heart. It’s good to see you want to give back to the community,” Mom said.

  “It was Kai’s idea. He was helping me decide what to do with my free time since football would be over soon. He did Habitat for Humanity in college. Did you know that? He told me all about it, and it seems cool,” Mano mentioned, trying to make me sound impressive to the two people who were completely unimpressed by my entire existence.

  “That’s nice. I wish Kai shared his life with us the way he shared with you, sweetheart,” Mom said, smiling at me.

  That smile felt like a dagger to my heart.

  “Mom, come on,” Mano urged. “Kai has been nothing but great toward me.”

  “Yes, well…it’s possible that we don’t get the same Kai you get, Mano,” she replied.

  I felt the rage bubbling up in my gut. “And it’s possible I don’t get the same parents that Mano gets,” I shot back. The moment I said the words, I felt instant regret. I didn’t want to argue with them. I didn’t even want to be at that dinner. The only reason I showed up was for Mano. Still, my speaking up for myself was enough ammo for my father to fire back.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Dad barked my way.

  “Nothing. Never mind.”

  Dad’s nose began to flare. “No, it seems you have something to get off your chest. So, get it off, Kai. Tell us what kind of parents you got versus Mano.”

  “Dad, let it go,” Mano whispered.

  “He’s right. Let’s change the subject,” I said, trying to compose myself. “Let’s just get through dinner.”

  “Get through dinner,” Dad huffed. “As if we are a chore to you. You are so ungrateful, and it sickens me.”

  “Ungrateful?” I sat back, stunned by his words. I could’ve gone off. I could’ve told him about himself and my mother, but I knew no good would come from it. For years, I’d told those two the damage they’d caused me, but they weren’t trying to hear me. You couldn’t speak the truth to those who chose to be deaf to your words. There was nothing I could say that would ever make them admit fault. They were too driven by their pride to ever admit any wrongdoing. In their eyes, I’d always be the villain, and they’d be the ones who struggled with their son not wanting anything to do with them.

  “I’m sorry, Mano, I can’t do this,” I whispered, pushing myself away from the table. I stood and looked at my parents. “I hope you have safe travels.”

  I turned to walk away, and my heart split in half when I heard Mom say, “You are such a disappointment.”

  “What’s wrong with you?!” Mano shouted, making my footsteps pause. I looked over my shoulder and saw my little brother red in the face. At first, I thought he was calling me out for leaving the dinner, but it was the opposite. He was standing up to our parents for me.

  “Mano, sit down immediately,” Dad ordered, but my brother stood taller. “And lower your voice.”

  “No. I don’t know what your problem is, but how you treat Kai is completely different from how you treat me. I love you both, but you’re so mean. You belittle him every second you get. You judge every choice he makes. You haven’t even congratulated him on his new restaurant, which is amazing. You didn’t even ask to see it, and it’s literally around the corner from the apartment you invited yourself to stay at. You invaded his life and made snood remarks to him for the past five days, and he didn’t fight you back. He didn’t even raise his voice at you, and you have the nerve to call him a disappointment and ungrateful?!”

  “Mano.” I placed a hand on his shoulder. “It’s fine.”

  “No. It’s not. They are jerks to you as if they weren’t the ones who gave you a crap childhood,” Mano cried out. Emotions were bursting at his seams as he gestured toward them. “Why is that so hard for you, huh? Why is it so hard for you to admit that you made mistakes? That your mistakes might’ve hurt other people? Why are your egos so big that you can’t confess that you screwed up with Kai? Because you did. You screwed up, and he deserved more than you gave him.”

  Our parents sat there with their mouths tightly pressed together, not saying a word.

  Mano swallowed hard and shook his head. “Kai didn’t get what I got growing up. He didn’t get the same love, the same support, and the same parents. Yet he became the best brother I could’ve ever asked for. So, I’m sorry, I’m not going to sit here and listen to you talk down to one of the greatest people I know because your pride is too big to admit fault.” He cleared his throat. “I love you, Mom and Dad, I do. But I’m not going to stay here and watch you badmouth my best friend. So, have a safe flight. We’ll talk later.”

  Mano turned my way and gave me a half grin.

  I gave him one back.

  “Let’s go,” he told me, walking toward the exit.

  I followed him, a bit speechless at what just took place. Never in my life did I think Mano would stand up to our parents in my honor. He was always the peacemaker, the one who kept everything balanced. Yet, that afternoon, I felt more love than I’d ever felt.

  As we got to my car, Mano climbed into the passenger seat.

  “You didn’t have to do that,” I told him as I drove the car away from the curb.

  “Yeah, I did.” He shook off his emotions and gave me a bright smile. “So, are we going to get wasted for New Year’s Eve or what?”

  I snickered. “In your dreams, kid. But we can stop by the grocery store for some nonalcoholic sparkling champagne to ring in the new year.”

  “I would fight against that, but sparkling champagne slaps so I won’t go against it.”

  “Slaps?”

  “It means it’s good, grandpa.”

  “You could’ve just said it was good, you know. Slaps doesn’t even make sense.”

  “Sometimes you’re so millennial it’s offensive.”

  I smirked. “I live to offend you.” As I pulled away from the curbside, I glanced over to Mano. “Thanks for that, by the way. For having my back.”

  “You would’ve had mine, too.”

  That was a fact.

  We spent the evening flipping the television between New Year’s Eve specials and playing video games. I’d prided myself that Mano couldn’t beat me in Mario Kart, no matter how hard he tried. My millennial skills came in handy every now and then.

  Around eleven thirty, the pizza we ordered hours ago finally arrived, and I paused the video game to head downstairs to get it. As I walked back into the building with the pizza in my hands, I turned around and saw Holly standing in pajamas, grabbing a stack of envelopes from her mailbox.

  “Holly,” I called out.

  She looked up toward me, widened her eyes, and hurried to the elevator. It opened right away, and she went to hop inside it. She wasn’t fast enough, though, and I slid inside with her and quickly hit the button for the elevator to close.

  “Hi,” I breathed out.

  “Hi, Kai.” She hit the twenty-fourth floor for me and then the twenty-fifth floor.

  “That’s it? That’s all? We need to talk,” I urged. She looked beautiful. Gosh, it had only been four days or so since I’d last seen her, and she looked so beautiful in her sweats that it almost made me become a pathetic man and sob. I didn’t know it was possible to miss someone standing right before you until that moment.

  “No, we don’t.”

  “Yes, we do.”

  “We had a short, weird holiday fake relationship, Kai. There’s nothing to talk about.” She hit the numbers to our floors again as if that would make the elevator move faster.

  Without thought, I hit all the buttons on the elevator pad, trying to slow down the speed of everything. “What in the world are you doing?” she asked, bewildered by my actions.

  “I don’t know. I don’t know, okay? I need to talk to you.”

  “Kai, I’m not ready to talk.”

  “Then when?”

  The elevator opened to a random floor, then closed.

  “I don’t know. I need space.”

  I took a step backward. “Is that enough space?”

  “Kai, stop.”

  “No,” I shot back. “I’m not going to stop, Holly. I’m not going to stop until you talk to me,” I said, hitting the stop button on the elevator and making it come to a full halt.

  “Are you insane?!” she questioned, and to be fair, yes, I was. At that very moment, I was a lunatic. I understood how ridiculous it was that I was pushing every single button on the elevator in an attempt to spend just one extra moment with Holly. I understood that I looked wild in the eyes as I stared her way, but I couldn’t help it. I was crazy in love with that woman, and if the only way I could get her to talk to me was to trap her in the elevator with me, so be it.

  I’d do a lot crazier shit for real love.

  I’d do insane things to get Holly to give me another shot.

  “There’s nothing between Penelope and me, Holly. I promise you, there’s not, and I—”

  “I know,” she said, hitting the button on the elevator pad to make us start moving again.

  I slammed my hand against it, confused. “What? You know?”

  “Yes, I know.” She pushed the button again. I pushed it back.

  Slam.

  “Then why aren’t we talking?” I placed the pizza box on the ground and stepped in front of the elevator pad, stopping her from making us move again. “What am I missing here?”

  She looked up at me, and I saw the tremble in her bottom lip. Her nerves were so apparent as her eyes locked with mine. There was a slight shake of her head as she said, “I don’t think I could handle it.”

  “Handle what?”

  “A day when you woke up and no longer chose me. That’s what loving someone is at the end of the day—it’s a risk. It’s putting yourself out there with the possibility of someone one day waking up and saying they don’t want to do that anymore. It happened with Daniel and me. It happened with Penelope and you. Then, when I saw her kiss you, I felt crushed. For a split second, I felt it was happening all over again, and I don’t think my heart can withstand that kind of hurt again, Kai. So, it’s best to call it quits before we start.”

  “No. That’s not happening.”

  She gave me a soft smile that was soaked in sadness. “Unfortunately, you don’t get a say in that. It’s my choice.”

  “No, it’s not. I’m not letting you choose that.”

  “Kai—"

  “No.” My heart pounded against my rib cage. “You don’t get to give up on us before we even get a real chance at this. You don’t get to walk away because you’re scared. I’m scared, too, Holly. Do you think this doesn’t terrify me? Do you think I don’t overthink how this could go wrong in a million ways and how one day, you can decide to leave me, too? I’ve thought of every outcome. I thought of every negative way this could end, and I still want you. I want every piece of you. And do you know why?

  “Because you’re everything. You’re the sun, you’re the moon, you’re the stupid snowman in someone’s front yard with the stupid crooked carrot smile. You’re every good day and every crappy night and every in-between mundane afternoon. So, I’m sorry, you can’t choose to leave me. It’s not an option. Do whatever you have to do to get past this. Be pissed at me. Ghost me for a day or two. Cuss me out, and shove me around, but don’t leave me, Holly, please,” my voice cracked as I stepped closer to her. “Because if there is no you, then there is nothing.”

  Her mouth parted as she searched for words. As she couldn’t find them, I found more.

  “You’re scared,” I told her. “I get it. I’m not asking you to change that fact. I’m not asking you to be anything else. If you need to be scared, then fine. Be scared. But please, Holly…be scared with me.”

  She still said nothing, but I could tell her thoughts were flying through her mind.

  I waited nervously in fear that she’d shoot me down again. I was terrified she wouldn’t give me another chance due to her worry about what our future could turn out to be.

  She didn’t give me any words.

  Nothing.

  None.

  Instead, she stood straight, leaned in, and pressed her mouth against mine.

  I didn’t take a second of hesitation out of fear that she might’ve changed her mind. I kissed her back. My arms wrapped around her as her body melted against mine.

  Her back pressed against the railing of the elevator.

  I slammed my hand against the wall above her head and deepened the kiss.

  My other hand lifted her leg around my waist as I got stiff in my jeans, pressing against her body. Her arms fell around my neck as she let a small moan of pleasure slip between her lips. I took a step to the left to recenter myself, but my foot went right through the middle of the pizza box, smooshing it completely.

  Holly giggled against my mouth at the incident, but I brought her back to reality as my mouth moved to her neck, kissing her skin, sucking on it gently. Her mouth fell to my ear, and the intense sensation made me want to rip her sweatpants off instantly and take her right there. She secured both legs around my hips, and her ass sat on the railing as I allowed a hand to move up the fabric of her T-shirt. To my surprise, there was no bra in sight. My hands fell to her breasts, and her instant reaction to me massaging them made my cock stiffen even more. I lifted her shirt and moved my mouth to her nipples, flicking my tongue against them and darting between them. She moaned against my ear, begging for more as I became feral for her. Her pleasure only intensified my own. I wanted to please her. I wanted to worship her. I wanted to—

  Before I could get any further, the elevator jolted as it began to move. I quickly lowered Holly’s shirt as the elevator stopped at the next floor and opened wide.

  Holly still wrapped her legs tightly around me. Her tastes still lingered on my tongue.

  “Well, I’m glad you two weren’t freaking out from being stuck,” Curtis said with a smirk as he stood outside the elevator.

  I lowered Holly to the floor, and she smoothed her hair down, still in a frenzy.

  Curtis grinned our way and placed his hands against his hips. “You do know that there are cameras in these elevators, right?”

  Holly’s face instantly reddened from the idea that people saw us getting hot and heavy in the elevator. I couldn’t even pretend I wasn’t a bit embarrassed, too.

  I grabbed the smooshed pizza box and gave Curtis a goofy grin. “Happy New Year, Curtis.”

  “Happy New Year to you, too. A little tip,” he said, stepping into the elevator and resetting it with some magic key, “Only push your floor and don’t use the emergency stop button to make up.”

  “Noted,” I said, amused by the depth of Holly’s shade of red.

  Curtis pointed a stern finger my way. “Don’t break Ms. Holly’s heart. Do you understand me?”

  I looked over to Holly and wrapped my free arm around her waist. I leaned in and kissed her forehead. “Yes, sir.”

 

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