The trust factor, p.28
The Trust Factor, page 28
The kitchen and dining area were small, but I enjoyed the intimate space. Once Dominic passed away, I learned quickly that the size of the room didn’t matter if the people you missed weren’t in it. I sat comfortably next to Lyla with my hands on the table, keeping them in plain sight if Jane decided to turn around while she prepared the tacos.
What could I say? It didn’t matter what my hands did in the hotel room twenty-four hours ago. When it came to leaving a good first impression, Relationship Deacon appeared front and center.
Lyla sighed, and I sensed an admission coming forward. “Mom, Aaron is engaged.”
Jane scoffed over her shoulder, scanning Lyla’s face to make sure she was being serious. “That asshole. He flew you all the way to Miami to tell you that!”
Lyla nodded. “But the good news is, that should be my last trip.”
“Jesus,” Jane muttered under her breath. She placed frothy red and yellow drinks with a pineapple garnish on the table. “I tried to tell Lyla you should meet me first, Deacon. I’m much more fun and way less of an asshole.”
I chuckled at her blunt admission, and Lyla palmed her face. As embarrassed as her mom could make her sometimes, I loved seeing Lyla in this element. I could see why Lyla wanted to help her mom chase her dream, and it melted my heart to see the small, happy exchanges between them.
I sipped my drink, savoring the sweet taste as it flooded my mouth. “Holy shit. This is amazing. What is this?”
“Pineapple upside down cake drink.” Jane smiled adoringly at Lyla. “Usually, you order them as a shot, but Lyla and I got it as a drink on one of our trips to Florida. We haven’t been able to let go of them since.”
“Okay, Mom.” Lyla sucked her teeth. “Don’t distract me with the drinks. I love how you casually left it there on top of the microwave.”
Jane shrugged, returning to her chopping at the counter. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
It felt awkward to look over at the microwave, so I took another sip of my drink while they sorted out the silent conversation happening between them.
Lyla rolled her eyes and stood up. “Let me at least take a shower first.” Her hand grazed my shoulder as she leaned down to kiss me on the cheek. “If you think you’re good at chess, I can’t wait to see your skills at Uno.”
Jane cheered, placing a saucepan on the stove and reaching behind her for the game. She took the chair across from me, bringing along a notepad and pen.
“The woman is a fiend,” Lyla whispered, sending goosebumps down my neck. “And you better not pull some sort of travel Monopoly out of your bag while I’m gone.”
I watched Lyla leave as she ran up the stairs to her bedroom. When I turned my attention back to Jane and her decks of Uno cards, she was beaming at me. The way the corner of her mouth pinched into her cheek told me she had a comment brewing. Lyla wore the same expression when she wanted to tell me something.
I decided to start the conversation. “Thank you for having me, Jane. I’m glad Lyla decided to stay here tonight.”
Jane shuffled the cards and dealt to all three chairs. “You know you’re only the second guy Lyla has brought home?”
I tried not to look surprised. I knew the first guy she was referring to, and the thought of him made my blood boil. I wasn’t sure if Lyla told her mom I knew about Hunter, and it wasn’t my place to say anything.
“It’s okay.” Jane smiled reassuringly. “She told me she talked to you about her high school boyfriend. It says a lot about how she feels about you. She trusts you, and I think you’re really good for her.”
“She’s really good for me, too,” I admitted, deciding to roll with the rest of the thoughts coming into my head. “I care a lot about your daughter, and I’d never do anything to hurt her. She’s my best friend.”
“I appreciate that.” Jane placed the deck in the middle of the table and flipped over the first card. “And the fact that you’ve met Aaron twice and still haven’t gone running tells me you’re something special.”
We clinked our glasses together and laughed.
I winced. “Has he always been—”
“A dick?” Jane smirked. “Yes. I knew he was a piece of work when I met him. But”—she sighed—“he’s just one of those people that sprinkles hope like it’s fucking glitter. You find pieces of it when you shake out all the shit he put you through, and you believe this could be the last time. He makes you feel like there’s a chance he can change.”
“Do you think you’ll go to Chicago?” I asked.
Jane smiled faintly. “I know she wants me to, and I might once she gets settled, but not for why she wants me there. Aaron has it shoved so far into Lyla’s head that she owes everyone something. I know she wants to fit my dreams into hers, and she deserves every goddamn penny for having to deal with that man. But to answer your question, I’ll go because she wants me to go, not because of what she’s offering.”
“I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “I wasn’t implying that you would go for any other reason.”
She fanned the air in front of her. “Oh, sweetie, I know you weren’t. Now, do I need to explain the rules of the game to you, or do I need to show you how to keep score?”
I gestured for her to hand me the pen, and she laughed as she refilled our glasses.
When Lyla came downstairs, she shook her head, smiling at the scene. She sat beside me, and I rested my arm on the back of her chair. The familiar flowery scent of her body wash drifted into the room, and I fought the urge to pull her in for a kiss.
She scooted closer to me and started picking up her cards, quickly shoving them into her chest. “Back off, Deac!”
“I’m not looking!” I exclaimed, shifting my body so I could hide my cards.
We spent the next hour and a half playing Uno with Jane before we called it a night. I was looking forward to crawling into bed and getting some sleep before we left for BG tomorrow morning. Since Lyla’s mom would be at work by the time we woke up, we said our goodbyes before we headed upstairs.
The second floor of the house was cozy, with only one bedroom and a bathroom across the hall. Lyla’s bedroom was much more personable than it was in Bowling Green. The space had been lived in for a few years, and it was nice to see a bright green color on the walls instead of the cream plaster that covered all of the BG rental properties.
Lyla took the spot closest to the wall and gestured for me to lay beside her. She draped her arm over my chest and snuggled into me. “Thank you for playing Uno tonight with my mom,” she mumbled. “I know she was excited to meet you.”
“No problem. It was nice to meet her in person.” I relaxed into the mattress and let my hand drag lazily across her back, making her jump when I hit the sensitive spot on her shoulder blade.
“I’m sorry, but I’m so tired,” she groaned. “I’d reward you for another on-screen performance, but I can barely keep my eyes open.”
I closed my eyes and pulled her closer. “You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m tired too.”
“I wasn’t sure if you expected to have sex tonight. I’m sorry if you’re disappointed.”
I was glad the work of her blackout curtains made it dark enough to hide my confused expression. “Being here with you is more than enough. I don’t need anything else.”
Lyla rolled on top of me and rested her head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, savoring the way her body felt against mine. We were both completely clothed, but somehow, I never felt more exposed. My feelings for Lyla were beginning to show, and there was no way I was letting this girl go.
Chapter fifty-eight
Lyla
“I’m sorry.” I laughed sarcastically into my phone and stared at my computer screen. “The next appointment you have is in June?”
“That’s right, ma’am, yes.” The healthcare worker on the other line was already annoying me with her obnoxious availability offers, but now Sylvia insulted my age by throwing in a “ma’am.”
My mouth hung open as I processed my options, although it didn’t seem like I had any. I guess I could book the appointment in June and just take notes on all of the shit that happened in my life? Provide a bulleted list of emotions and situations where I felt like my heart was going to hammer out of my chest.
I didn’t know what to say, so I sighed and admitted defeat. “I guess I’ll take the appointment in June then.”
“Great! Your appointment should appear on your account in two minutes. Please make sure you complete the intake paperwork at least two weeks before your appointment.” Sylvia sounded like she had just helped me solve an outstanding case, but her excitement made me feel like I had taken ten steps backward.
I was trying to move forward, to get on track to take care of things that were happening in my head that I couldn’t explain. Our entire healthcare system preached about mental health, yet when I tried to make an appointment with a therapist, I had to wait three months before I could see one. I understood why some people never followed through with therapy. It took a lot of energy to make the phone call and figure out who to talk to. Then, when I finally spoke to someone, they told me my problems could hold off for two months.
It was Sunday afternoon, and classes would resume bright and early tomorrow morning. Charlie was on her way back to campus, and Michelle and Keira were doing some sort of volunteer event in downtown Bowling Green. The apartment was quiet, and it was wild to think it would no longer be home after graduation. All of the parties and pregaming would be a memory. The nights around the breakfast counter with margaritas and tacos would be a thing of the past as we all followed our paths. I spent so much time wishing for my next chapter, but I never considered that I might miss being in this one.
Just as I was getting a little too sentimental for my taste, Deacon walked through the front door. He wore a compression shirt, gray sweatpants, and a backward hat. It was a delicious combination, and I wanted to devour every inch of him.
“Hey, baby.” He smiled, plopping down on the couch next to me. His eyes narrowed as he searched my face. “What’s the matter?”
I closed my computer. “Nothing. How was the gym?”
“Good, but what’s the matter? You look like Keira just asked you to clean the apartment before everyone gets back.”
I must’ve looked pretty pathetic. “Remember how I said I wanted to look into therapy?”
“Let me shower real quick, and I can help you.” He sat up, and I reached for his hand, pulling him back onto the couch before he could get away.
“I tried,” I whined. “They weren’t able to get me in until June. I just don’t understand. In the movies, people get into therapy the next day—”
Deacon sucked his teeth. “Nah, that’s bullshit.”
I sank further into the couch, defeated by Deacon’s blunt response. “Oh.”
“No, baby.” Deacon chuckled softly and prompted me to look at him. “That’s bullshit that they couldn’t get you in until June. Can you call the number again for me, please?”
I followed his instructions and handed him the phone. It was attractive watching him take charge like this. He usually saved his assertive tone for the bedroom.
“Yes, hi, my girlfriend, Lyla Brooks, called earlier today and tried to schedule a therapy appointment—” Deacon rested his arm above me on the couch. “No, she’s sitting next to me, but I had a question regarding her appointment . . . yes, I’ll hold.” Deacon raised his eyebrows eagerly, digging his finger into my side. I smothered my laugh when he started talking again. “Yes, that’s correct. Her birthday is August 7th.”
There was a soft pang in my chest as my birthday left his mouth. It saddened me to think about a date when Deacon wouldn’t be next to me. His birthday was a month before mine, and I wouldn’t be there to celebrate his either. I wondered what he and Cassie would do to—
“Yes, I understand that,” Deacon offered in a charming tone. “However, I wanted to ask what third-party companies you’d recommend or even contract through for someone who wants to get an appointment this month.”
He leaned in closer and turned on the speakerphone. It was Sylvia again, only this time she sang like a canary, eager to answer Deacon’s question. She listed three companies with offices around Ohio, providing virtual and in-person options to accommodate different needs. I jotted down the information in a Google Document while Deacon said goodbye to his new phone-a-friend bestie.
After he hung up with Sylvia, I stared at the three options on the screen. “How did you know to ask that?”
“Dominic,” Deacon answered proudly. “After he passed away, I called my doctor and requested more information about therapy services. He explained that the general offices might take a while, and when I told him why I was calling, he gave me more information. Doctors aren’t technically supposed to mention third-party clinics unless they’re asked.”
I leaned into his chest and sighed. “Do you still go to therapy?”
“Sometimes,” Deacon said softly. “I reach out to her when I think I need a session. She’s in Michigan, so it’s nice that she has virtual appointments. I find myself needing to go around milestones or certain dates.”
“That makes sense.”
“I thought about scheduling one in a few weeks,” he admitted. “No matter how much time goes by, the twenty-fourth of every month—” He lifted his hat and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s just hard.”
I couldn’t imagine having monthly reminders of a date you couldn’t escape. I had been with Deacon for six of those days, and I never noticed anything different. He did an amazing job masking the emotions he didn’t want to explain to anyone else.
“Do you ever do anything on those days? Is there anything I can do?” I looked up, and he met me with a soft smile.
“I usually take a half hour out of that day to talk to him. It helps just having that time—just me and him. I tell him about things that happened and ask him questions.”
I nodded as tears pricked the corners of my eyes. I knew if I spoke, they’d come loose.
Deacon’s smile dug deeper into his cheek. “You already do it.”
I cleared my throat to adjust my tone. “Do what?”
“You asked if there was anything you could do, and you already do it. You have since the moment you became my best friend.”
I nodded again, faster this time because I was on the verge of a full-blown breakdown. Deacon pulled me into his chest, and I wrapped my arms around his waist.
A few silent tears melted into the fabric of Deacon’s shirt, and a warmth settled into my stomach. He was like having a cup of my favorite green tea the morning after a night out or going in blind with a book and falling in love with the plot. Deacon helped me in ways I didn’t even know I needed, and I hadn’t realized how much until he put it into words a few moments ago.
Chapter fifty-nine
Deacon
St. Patrick’s Day fell on a Friday this year, and with about a month and a half left of school, even the professors were antsy. The holiday weekend resulted in many classes getting canceled, and I was grateful mine was one of them.
It was quiet when I got back to Falcon’s Pointe. Lyla texted me to let me know that she and Charlie were making a liquor run for our afternoon pregame. I put her keys on her nightstand and plugged in my phone. When the screen lit up, I noticed a missed call. It was from Cassie.
My mouth went dry. I would have done anything to have her name littered in my notifications a few months ago. Now, her contact photo made me feel like I was cheating on my fake girlfriend.
Fake. Fuck, what about this was still fake?
Not a real relationship, no lying, fuck around in private, and no love. There were two other rules, but I already forgot the phrasing. The only rule we hadn’t broken was rule number two—no lying. But as things grew more intense between us, I started to wonder if that was true. We never spoke lies to one another, but I was lying to myself if I said I didn’t want more.
I played it safe and sent Cassie a text instead of a phone call. I asked her why she called, and before I could put my phone down, her name lit up my screen again.
Cassie
Going out today? I wanted to see if we could meet up.
I started to respond, but my thumbs froze over the keyboard. I didn’t know what to say back. I just wanted to be in the same room together without feeling like we still had closure to take care of.
Deacon
Yup. I’m not sure where we’re heading yet. I’ll know more when Lyla gets back to our place.
I hit send before I realized the word that slipped in there—our place. When I got out of the shower, I checked my phone, and my inbox was empty.
“Deac, you here?” Lyla yelled, her voice growing louder as she came down the hall. She popped her head into her room and looked me up and down, smiling when she saw my towel. “Hey.”
“Don’t look at me like that,” I warned her playfully and stepped into some shorts. She watched me closely from the doorframe but didn’t approach me until there was some material between us.
Lyla was already dressed in green attire, wearing black jeans and a top that showed her stomach. Shiny green necklaces draped her neck, and her hair rested on the collar of her black leather jacket.
“I have news,” she squealed, keeping her voice down so only I could hear her. She threw her arms around my neck and leaned into my chest.
“Yeah?” I said right before she planted a soft kiss on my lips. I grabbed her hips and drew her closer to me. “What’s that?”
“My dad called. He just pushed the paperwork through for my trust.”
A pang vibrated through my chest, and the lump in my throat made it clear. I needed to tell Lyla how I felt, and I needed to do it now.
“That’s amazing, sweetheart,” I said through a massive grin. “I—”
