Cut, p.26
Cut, page 26
My jaw drops. “Maria, why didn’t you call m—”
“You? Really?” Her lips twist with amusement.
“Right, yeah.” I brush my hair back, frustrated, angry, that she suffered all alone. “Why didn’t you call Rose?”
“Eh, it’s fine. I didn’t say that to get sympathy. I don’t need it. I said it so you understand that I get it. I get what you’re going through. You’re not alone.”
My hands run along the sides of her arms. “Neither are you.”
“Not with you, I’m not.”
Vulnerability slips through the cracks, showing in her gaze.
“Please don’t let your demons tear us apart, Brantley. We have a chance at something here, something real. Something neither of us have ever had, or ever thought we would. I don’t want to lose you.”
I complete the hug she started, wrapping my arms around her body. The smell of jasmine fills my senses.
“You’re so damn strong.”
“Would it be corny if I said I got it from my daddy?”
“Oh my god, I may have to dump you before we even begin just for that.”
She fake cringes. “I can make up for it in sex. Keep me please.”
I know she’s kidding, but it doesn’t stop me from cupping her face in my large hands and looking at her softly.
“As long as you want me around, I’m here.”
“Then I guess you’re looking at your future wife, ‘cause I’m pretty much in love with you. You’re my hero. That shit makes a woman’s panties fly right off.”
“What the…” A surprised laugh bursts out of me. “Wow, your filter needs a replacement, woman.”
“Eh, no, I just check it at the door when you’re around. What do you say we get out of here? You’re dirty. I have to get you clean.”
She winks and wiggles her hips. My cock stirs to life, again. How does she make everything sound sexual? Jesus. I’ll only be so lucky if this woman is my wife one day. My heart thumps harder.
“Yeah,” I grunt. “Make an excuse. Get us out.”
“Yes, sir.”
Maria fake salutes me.
“Don’t ever say I don’t take care of you!” She yells.
When she reaches the doorway, she looks over her shoulder and yells at the top of her lungs.
“I hate excuses, Brantley!”
Click. The door swings shut. I shake my head and smile to myself. She’s insane.
Buzzzz.
I grab my phone and check the screen.
Mandi: I’m not even there and I know I’m right.
TOLD. YOU. 😘
33
“Yo, Blade!” Maria shouts into the full bar.
“Maria,” I hiss. “Are you kidding me?”
She blinks three times, blank faced. “I want to meet him. Officially.”
She shrugs, and saunters into the bar. This is her without alcohol. In the weeks we’ve been together as an official couple, I’ve to realize that she’s actually a psycho. She’s the crazy to my rationality. But what makes her so goddamn fascinating to me is that she’s one of the most intelligent women I’ve ever met. The whole sexy, brave, outspoken woman thing she has going on is a piece of her, but it’s damn sure not the whole picture and no one seems to realize it.
Blade comes popping out from God knows where. He doesn’t even get a chance to say hello to me before Maria is thrusting her hand in his face.
“Hi, I’m Maria Vasquez. I thought I’d introduce myself officially since I’m dating your trainer-friend, and last time we met, I was drunk out of my ever-loving mind.”
“Wow,” Blade laughs. “Nice to meet your sober self.”
He takes her hand. Maria looks at him, assessing. Of course, to outsiders it looks like she’s checking him out, but I have her card. It’s the show she puts up for people who think with their dicks. And it’s smart, really.
Unfortunately for her, Blade does not think with his dick first. Now, he’s not me. He likes the ladies and gets around, but he’s levelheaded. His club comes first. Always. It gives him restraint. Blade nods over Maria’s shoulder once to show his approval. To show he knows she’s feeling him out since they’re both in my life.
“Hey, hey, don’t go speaking guy language over my head. I’m right here.” She rolls her eyes. “And at least wait ‘til the beers come out.”
He chuckles. “Alright, princess. You got it.”
“I prefer queen, but I’ll deal.”
He laughs. “Oh, you’re most definitely a queen, baby.”
I growl under my breath, making Blade look up at me and chuckle.
“Jealous, Cut?”
“He’s not jealous,” Maria says with a roll of her eyes. “This guy over here knows it’s his house I’m going back to. Jealousy is beyond him.”
Blade snickers. “Oh yeah, sure. I’m sure you walking around in three pieces of fabric with every man’s eyes on you doesn’t make him jealous at all. Come on, baby. I’ll get you a drink.” He swings his arm around her. “What do you like?”
I’m literally about to remove his arm from its fucking socket when Maria turns back to me and winks. She grabs his arm, throws it off her, and shoves it back into his chest.
“My guy can afford my drink, but thanks for the offer.”
With that, she comes back to me and tucks into my side.
“Jealousy really is beyond you, Brantley,” she mutters, disappointed.
“I’m a man. I have weaknesses.”
She laughs. “Well, I refuse to be one of ‘em. So pull it together.”
Yes, ma’am.
Blade is smirking at me. I know right where his head is at and he needs to cut the shit.
“Where’s the room, Blade?”
“I’ll lead you two there. Will your old lady allow it?”
“Eww, don’t call me an old lady. Gross!”
“Maria,” I mutter. “Respect.”
“It’s fine,” Blade says casually. “It’s biker talk for you being his woman.”
“Well, I hate it.”
“Filter!”
“No!”
Blade bursts out laughing. “Man, she has your balls! Who the hell is this guy? I sure as hell have never met him.”
I shrug.
“Do I have your balls, babe?” Maria teases, fiddling with the top of my pants, knowing exactly what she’s doing to my dick.
“This is a conversation that needs to end.”
They both laugh hard. Maria jumps forward and demands a high five from Blade, who, being ever the charmer, gives it.
“Mandi’s here already,” Blade adds when the conversation dies.
“What?! And you didn’t call me? What the fuck man? And why the hell are you calling her Mandi? Her name is Amanda to you.”
“Woah, Cut. Relax, man. Mandi —Amanda— told me not to tell you. She wanted you and Maria to have time. Besides, she’s still pissed at you.”
I may have had to come clean to Mandi and my mom about my nickname, and that my clients have been less than legal. Maria demanded I do it. I fought her on it, but she put her foot down. And if there’s one thing to gather from this story, it’s that when Maria puts her foot down on something, she wins. Bottom line.
When I told my mom, she nodded swiftly before leaving the room quickly to ‘not cry’. Mandi, on the other hand, lost it. She screamed. Threw things at me. Then shoved me into my car and told me to ‘drive my ass home’. On my way back home, she called me, crying. I tried to comfort her, but the news broke her heart. It was way overdue. I should have told her sooner. When I got done with that call, Maria stayed home and I went out and got trashed at Blade’s. At some point during that night, Blade had the grand idea to host a party with Maria, my mom, Mandi, him, and some of the guys I know in his club to try and integrate my two lives. My drunk-ass self thought that it was a great idea. When Maria found out, she laughed her ass off and patted me on the back.
So here we are. Me trying to fix shit, but this could not be a worse idea. No matter how many times Blade has assured me nothing criminal or dark will be in the area with my girls, I don’t believe him. His idea of normal has got to be tainted.
“Don’t try anything with Mandi, Blade, or we will have problems.”
“Relax, man,” Blade mumbles. “I’m not gonna hurt your sister-friend.”
“You’re not gonna fuck her either.”
Blade turns on his heel and stares at me. I’ve never put my foot down with him like this before. I will beat the shit out of him if he lays one finger on her.
“Got it, man.”
“Good. Keep it.”
Maria is actually fidgeting when Blade and I break our moment.
“Calm down,” she whispers when we are heading back again.
“With all due respect, stay out of this one. You don’t know Blade like I do.”
“Okay.” Maria rubs the center of my chest, then lets her hand drop. Not even a minute later, the door is in my face.
I let a flow of air into my lungs, but Maria doesn’t let me finish my moment of calm. Blade has the door open and Maria is shoving me inside telling me to ‘man up’.
As soon as I’m inside, I see Mandi sitting there next to two guys, fiddling with her belt loops. She’s in high waisted yellow shorts with a tight, round-neck, red flower top, wedges, and a bandana worn like a headband in freshly curled hair. Very Mandi. She looks comfortable with these men, but I still don’t like it.
“Mandi!”
“Bra… Bright morning to you!” She recovers with a frown. I made it clear to her that no one could know my name. Not in this circuit. The people in this room, I trust unequivocally, or they wouldn’t be here, but my name is still my secret.
Maria laughs at Mandi’s odd recovery. “Good to see ya, girl.”
“Hi, Maria. It’s good to see you, too.”
Mandi turns to me and frowns. “Hi.”
“I see you already met Blade.” I make the disapproval evident in my tone.
“Oh, Blade. Him. Biker. Hot. Owner. Yep, him I met.”
Maria snickers. “Uh-oh.”
“You better be referring to the temperature, Mandi,” I growl.
Her cheeks turn ten shades of red. “I can’t have this conversation with you, B.”
Apparently, she found a nickname for me, and I guess I’ll have to roll with it. It’s not like it’s not hypocritical for me to bring them here, but not let them speak my name to the people I am entrusting to keep their identities safe.
“Stay away from these people, Mandi!”
“Oh, but you don’t have to!” She snaps. “Maybe I’ll screw one just to show you what it feels like!”
Red clouds my vision. No fucking way!
“Okay,” Maria intervenes, grabbing Mandi’s upper arm. “B, go find your mom.”
I’m B now. Great.
Screw one of Blade’s men?! I knew this was a bad fucking idea. I knew it! I will not get drunk again, and that is a promise.
I walk back down the same hall until I get to the parking lot. Sure enough, there’s my mom in the passenger seat of her beat up old Honda, looking completely confident outside an old biker bar. When she sees me, she gets out and comes running over in heels.
“It’s good to see you, honey.”
She grabs my hand.
“Thank you for letting me come to your home.”
“Mom…”
“No.” Her lips purse. “This is your home. Cut is an identity you hide behind and it breaks my heart, but you’ve found peace here. If you didn’t, you’d leave.”
“I wouldn’t…”
“You’re my son,” she smiles sadly. “You would. Let’s do this.”
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too. More than you’ll ever know.”
That’s not true, but I won’t argue. I hate that I broke her heart. I hate that she’s hurting because I hide the name she gave me from the world. But I can’t change it. Not now. Cut is who I am, and bottom line, overall, I like my job. I love it. It’s my safety net, and I’m damn grateful to be able to do the work I do.
“Just stay by me when we get in here.”
Her lips curl up. “What did you think I was gonna do? Go out and introduce myself to the criminals you associate yourself with?”
“Mom…”
“What?” Her eyebrows shoot up, accusing. “Did I say something you don’t like?”
“I deserve that.”
“Yeah,” she says harshly. “I raised you better.”
I force my eyes to find hers. “Everything good left in me is because of you.”
“Then I did good, sweet boy, because despite all this shit, I couldn’t be more proud of the man you are. In here.”
She punches my chest, none too gently.
“I don’t know about that, but…”
I hold the door open where Mandi, Blade, Maria, and everyone else are hanging. Before my mom enters, I grab the crook of her arm.
“Maria’s been talking about this for weeks. In her own subtle ways, she can’t ever admit she cares, but… maybe…”
“I’ll make sure to go spend some time with her. Give her a little extra love.”
“Thank you, Ma. She could use it. The loss of her father is weighing on her. She won’t talk about it, but she cries to me at night, and lately it’s only gotten worse.”
“Poor thing. Yes, I’ll give her some love. Everyone could use a little extra love once in a while.”
“What about you?”
She stiffens. “I’m old, don’t you worry about me.”
“Psh, Mom. You’re young and you’re a beautiful woman.”
“Okay,” she sing-songs. “Totally not having this conversation with my son. How about I go find your love, alright?”
She kisses my head and walks off.
I wasn’t kidding. My mom is beautiful, but more than that, she’s classy, elegant and damn strong. I mean, she showed up at this bar wearing classic black heels, a pencil skirt, and a satin red blouse.
She sure doesn’t need a man, but she deserves to have that. She deserves it more than most anyone I know.
I stand in the back the whole time, watching. Occasionally one of the guys will come back and talk to me, but mostly I stay alone. My mom and Maria are glued to each other’s hip. I can tell my mom likes her, and not just because I do. Not because I’ve asked her to. They are both strong women, and honestly, I’d love to be a fly on the wall for one of their conversations.
My mom can help Maria more than anyone else I know right now.
But the whole, watching, creeper, not participating in the event thing is mainly happening because Mandi and Blade have not stopped talking the entire damn time!
After forty-five minutes, I’m done. I can’t hold back any more. I stomp over there to stand between them. Mandi is nursing a club soda with lime and Blade has a beer. Of course.
“Roses are overrated!” Mandi shouts in Blade’s face, completely offended. “I’m not kidding. It’s out of control. Like, come on, fellas, I need creativity here. It’s not hard to go to Kroger, grab me fifteen dollars of roses, and thrust them in my hand. That says nothing about your feelings for me. Bottom line. I’m right.”
Blade’s eyes light up, amused. He takes a swig of his beer, not taking his eyes off Mandi the entire time. There’s an almost predatory look in his eye.
“Agreed,” I say, stepping in between ‘em. I’m not small, and I make my presence known. Mandi looks like I doused her in cold water. Blade just leans back, studying me for a moment. When he’s done, he doesn’t say a word. He ignores me and looks straight back at Mandi.
“I disagree, angel face. Roses are classic, a statement. I don’t know what sort of assholes you’ve had in your life, but roses speak volumes when given by the right man.”
I swat Mandi’s arm. I hope to God she’s smarter than to fall for this bullshit. But judging by the doe eyes she was giving Blade before I nearly knocked her off her feet, I’m thinking I’m not that lucky.
“Right. Roses still suck,” Mandi mutters.
With that, she grabs my arm and pulls me out of there. When we reach the other side of the bar, I turn to her.
“You’re gonna be the death of me, woman.”
“B, please. Don’t.”
She holds a hand up to stop me. She looks so damn sad before her shoulders sag and she walks off. What the… What did I do?
“You’re such an incredible bastard,” Maria groans from behind me. “A protective bastard, but a bastard nonetheless.”
“What the hell did I do? I’m saving her ass. She doesn’t want to fuck these guys. She’ll get hurt.”
Maria rolls her eyes and saunters over so she’s standing in front of me. When her hand lands on her hip and her eyes drill into mine, I know I fucked up and she’s about to lay it out.
“What do you know about Mandi’s love life, or lack thereof?”
“I… well… I…”
“Exactly, you dick! You know nothing about it. For all you know, Mandi could be getting dick all the time and this is no big deal. Or she could be a virgin just trying to feel what it’s like to live and be flirted with for a night with no intention of letting things go anywhere. You don’t know. And you went over there all macho protective older brother and embarrassed her in front of another macho douche nozzle she obviously finds very attractive. She’s humiliated and probably feeling lonely now. Good job, you asshole.”
She slow claps in my face.
Shit. I am an asshole.
“Well, I should go find her. Apologize,” I mutter.
“No, leave her be. Your mom’s got her. What do you say we go get a drink, bond with your fam, then go home and fuck? Sound good, my big, protective asshole?”
“You’re crazy, Maria.”
“No one ever accused me of sanity, dude.”
“That’s for damn sure.”
“Drink.”
“Alright, babe, lead the way.”
She scoffs and waves a hand in the air. “Duh, of course. Way ahead of you.”
That bravado of hers…
As we approach the bar, she gives me a soft look. I wouldn’t have really led if you didn’t want me to.
