Finding sage, p.3
Finding Sage, page 3
Connie was right. It was clear I should have gone out when my mom insisted. Maybe things would have been different. So I sighed and snatched the stretchy material from her. She looked surprised for a moment before beaming at me and showing the matching blue dress she’d bought herself.
“Where are we going?” I asked, trying to remember if there was a place in the small town or nearby that would make sense to wear this to. Connie laughed, a mischievous twinkle in her eye which meant trouble.
What had I just agreed to?
*****
Full shot glasses clinked against the glazed wood and Connie let out a quiet “woop”. She cheered before we downed the shots and ordered more drinks. Sticking with tequila, I waited for a Paloma while Connie vibrated with too much energy.
She was right. We hadn’t been out in forever.
The low bass thrummed through the lively diner-bar. Turned out this was the only place in town outside the strip club to “go out on the town”. Unless you were into driving an hour away to a larger city. So here we were, all dressed up and fully aware of how much we stood out among the plaid and jeans crowd.
No one had bothered us though. Still, I plucked at the jacket concealing a good portion of skin the dress revealed with a quiet sigh. Everyone seemed keen to go about their evening. Some booths were stuffed with people joking while others milled around making bets at the pool tables and dart boards. Connie hummed happily as she picked up her bloody Mary and turned to watch me take my drink from the bartender. He was an older man who’d rolled his eyes at the drink requests but obliged us.
“Oh, let’s go play darts!” Connie grabbed my free arm and dragged me across the room, not waiting for my feedback. I shook my head at her antics. Grabbing darts off one of the boards with exaggerated movements, Connie spun the little death needles between her fingers.
The first dart bounced off the wall, landing on the floor before the other hit off center. Laughing, I picked them up and gave them a go but the alcohol did little to staunch the lingering ache in my limbs. They both landed off-center resulting in Connie rolling her eyes with a huff. Usually I would be better at this.
“I know you can do better than that!” She grabbed the darts, stealing a third from a nearby board that two older guys abandoned in favor of the bar.
Biting my lip, I drank some more in hope the alcohol would finally hit my limbs. My muscles had been tight and cramping even with the morning stretches. Luckily, they relaxed the longer we stayed and no one bothered us. Sure, drinking probably wasn’t the best decision after what happened but if I was slowly dying, how much more harm could it do?
We played a few more rounds before Connie dragged us back to the bar. A giggle slipped out of me, quickly stifled by a hand slapped against my mouth. Turning to Connie with wide eyes, I gave her an incredulous look. It’d been forever since I’d giggled. Shame immediately followed and I had to work to consciously push it away because Connie was right; I was allowed to be happy.
“No, no girl. You do not get to do that to yourself. Take this and let Mother Tequila teach you,” Connie grabbed her shot and pushed it towards me. Drowning out my negative feelings with alcohol wasn’t a long-term solution but I took the shot. Breathing through the burn at the back of my throat, I threw my arms around Connie to drag her back to the dart board. She followed, letting me pull her with a giggle of her own.
The room tilted slightly and she broke out of my hold to grab the darts again. I caught myself against an empty pool table. The polished wood was cool and slightly sticky against my warm palms, as if someone had spilled their beer on it. I pushed away from the table but steadying hands landed on my hips, freezing me in place as warm energy rolled into me at the touch. It worked its way into my system, filtering warmth through my body better than the drinks, filling the void that’d been painfully quiet and empty the past day. I barely managed to stifle an embarrassing moan.
“Sage,” A familiar voice breathed into the side of my neck as I leaned back into a hard body. “We need to talk,” His voice was low against my ear, a warning that should have made me pull away but my self-preservation instinct had been muted by the alcohol.
“We are talking,” I hummed and swayed to the country song that started to blare across the speakers. His grip tightened but he didn’t move away as expected.
“I think you drank too much,” Max’s voice rose with a hard urgency.
“I think I’ve had just enough,” I quipped in a low voice, sliding my hands to his and not wanting the energy to stop flowing between us. Unlike at the railway, this felt good. How did it seem to flow back and forth between us? It was something I probably should have worried about but the frustrated sound he released was distracting.
“Connie,” Max’s breath tickled my neck as his grip moved to band around my stomach. Swaying with me as my eyes fluttered closed.
“I’m taking her to the back to sober up.” The sentence knocked some sense into me. I should not be leaning into him, swaying to the music, or hell — enjoying anything to do with him or the other guys. We were strangers. Breaking out of his hold was easier said than done though. With the spell of the moment broken, my stomach twisted and I tried to pry myself from his grasp.
“Um, no?” Connie turned away from the dart board with a frown. “Just because you helped before, doesn’t mean you get a ticket to take her to the back.” My friend dropped the darts and marched up to us as I continued to struggle in his iron grasp. The bar had grown marginally quieter and heat burned my cheeks when I realized the crowd watched the show our little group put on.
“Guys stop. I’m fine,” The words hissed out of me in embarrassment as my nails dug into Max’s arms in a warning he ignored.
“I’m the owner of this bar and it’s my responsibility if she gets hurt. I’m taking her to sober up.” He repeated firmly before picking me up. Gasping, my feet left the ground and they kicked in an attempt to find purchase. Max marched us away from the large room and Connie trailed after angrily berating him for ruining our fun.
We slipped out of sight of the crowd, the music muted by dark walls. A dim hallway behind the bar led to a plain wood door and the dark room spun around me as he quickly shoved it open before dumping me onto a couch with a frustrated breath. The energy cut off abruptly in an eruption of sparks that audibly snapped in the air and raised the hair along my arms.
Pushing against the cushions, my dizzied gaze caught on the struck look Connie gave us. She hovered by the door as he paced the small room. “I’ll — um, it looks like you guys have something to talk through. I’ll wait out there.” Connie slipped back towards the hall and shut the door with a quiet click. Completely ignoring my pleading look and changing her tone so fast I would have had whiplash if I’d been sober.
The room shifted as if I’d magically boarded a boat. Moonlight filtered through open blinds, illuminating the messy desk reminiscent of Max’s bedroom. Blowing out a breath after a moment, I pushed myself all the way up and dug my fingers into the smooth couch fabric as if that’d stop the room from pitching.
“I can’t believe you,” Max started, cutting off with a rough tug of his blond hair.
“I get it okay? I get you not wanting to cycle with us but if this is how you handle things—” Max looked everywhere but at me as he continued to pace the small office.
“It’s not.” I cut him off with a scowl.
Of course, it wasn’t. It was just tonight. Just this one time. I’ll admit I may have taken the tequila a bit too far if the spinning room was any indication. I was going to suffer by morning but I struggled for words. How could I make him understand?
Why did his opinion even matter?
“Look, I don’t know what you want from me,” Finally I whispered and rubbed my face, doing my best to stay in the moment because I knew this was serious. My body wanted me to seek the floating darkness crowding the edges of my vision in the dimly lit room.
I had just wanted one last night to myself. One night to attempt to be normal. But that was too much to ask.
Max sat next to me after a moment. His shoulder brushed mine as he continued to run a hand through his hair. That zing of energy I was learning to associate with him burrowed under my skin again. Settling into a low buzz that put a stop to the pitching motion of the room.
“I want you to be healthy, to be careful…happy?” He said the last part as if questioning it. “Letting the energy get out of hand like that. The surges — they’re only going to get worse. You saw what it did to your mom,” the last part was a whisper as if he knew it was a touchy subject. Still, I flinched. He was right.
“She didn’t have surges like this — She didn’t…She didn’t tell me.” Hugging myself, I took a steadying breath. If what they said was true, Mom would have experienced them too, right? Why hadn’t I noticed? Maybe I hadn’t been paying attention to the right things. The thought that Mom had struggled in the same way and didn’t say anything hurt. I hadn’t been present enough to notice when I should have been the one she turned to.
“I can’t tell you for sure but even if her energy didn’t surge, it still ate at her over time.” He shook his head and tugged one of my hands into his, massaging it. The comforting action pulled a shaky breath from me. The distant bass of the music thrummed through the floor, filling the silence.
“Knox said you did something to push the majick down…What you’re doing right now, it’s not natural.” Max spoke after a moment, hesitant as if he was scared to say the wrong thing. He was attempting to make sense of it and suddenly I was grateful because I was at a total loss. Focusing more, he was right. Earlier in the bar room, it’d felt like a give and take but now — it just felt like it was being shoved into me. My body automatically takes and shoves the energy down.
“My parents always told me to hide it so I pushed it down.” The alcohol made my lips looser than normal but I didn’t care. Something about this room — this moment, made me want to share things I hadn’t told anyone. Max fell quiet, contemplative as he stared at our hands and the iridescent sparks.
“The other day, when you touched me I couldn’t stop your energy from flowing into me. It was like it burrowed under my skin…just like now.” I admitted into the darkness. The tick of a wall clock and the beat of the bass were the only sounds outside of our breaths. His energy was different, a gentle buzz against my skin now.
“Your parents were just trying to protect you…I don’t know what their plan was but maybe that was part of it. Keep it away from you until you could find someone matching your frequency.” He cursed quietly and I nodded my head as I slouched to lean against his shoulder. Contemplating if I was ready to open a whole can of worms.
“Is it…it’s normal right? Keepers are supposed to find others on the same…frequency? Do some people just never find them?” I asked, trying to piece everything together. Besides my parents and these three men, I didn’t know any others that kept majick.
“It’s normal. We call them soulmatches — like soulmates because it’s an act of fate when there’s someone out there that matches the same frequency.” He squeezed my hand in reassurance.
Soulmates? That wasn’t a thing. But then he confirmed my suspicions.
“The ones that don’t find each other die.” There was nothing gentle or reassuring in the way he spoke the words. The reminder that my life had gone completely off the rails had my stomach churning again. The surges had been going on for months now. How much longer did I have left? My fingers curled into the warmth of his hand. Tears burning my eyes as I glared stubbornly at the rug.
“I’ve barely been able to keep everything together. Connie had to move in with us a few months ago just so I could continue the mortgage payments. And now I don’t know what to do.” I hiccuped. Why did my life suddenly rely on people I’ve never even met? People I didn’t know how to find?
“Give us a chance, we can help you.” His thumb gently brushing across the back of my hand pulled a small smile out of me despite the tears because even though I didn’t understand it, he cared. It’d been so long since I’d had someone other than Connie to lean on.
“Thank you,” I said slowly. I could do this, couldn’t I? Find the people that could help me. And maybe if I was lucky enough, they would actually care about me like my family had. Maybe I could learn to be happy again.
“Can you at least think about cycling with us?” Max asked as he looked into my eyes, concern written all over his face. It brought more tears to sting my eyes. Tears I quickly wiped away. It wasn’t any use though. We sat too close together and he could feel my body shaking.
“I don’t even know what that means,” The words burst out of me in a shaky stream. How could I think of something so abstract? I shook my head. Push it down, hide it, and don’t talk about it. That’s what my parents had taught me. It was hard to break old habits.
“Out in the bar, that was cycling but this, what you’re doing now - you’re just trickling energy from me. You have to stop pushing it down.” He explained, gaze distant as if he were struggling with something. Glad the darkness of the room hid the flush in my cheeks. If cycling was what I’d tasted before, the energy looping between us, then I was screwed.
“We all cycle together but our dynamic is off, it always has been. We’re missing the last person.” He winced as if he hadn’t meant to say it. They were missing someone? Does that mean I needed to find more than one person to stop the inevitable? The idea threatened to send me into a panic.
“Wait, you all cycle together…” Wringing my hand, I pulled back and turned to face him. “How many people do I have to find? Why were my parents okay with just the two of them? How does that even work?” Once again I was grateful for the alcohol that let me ask because I didn’t even know where to start.
“It really depends but it’s not uncommon for there to be multiple matches.” He laughed at my expression. “It’s not so bad,” Reaching out, he tugged on one of my curls as I shook my head. I couldn’t recall anyone else beside my parents. Even after we moved, they’d stuck to themselves.
“We met her once, you know?” A wistful grin returned to his face as he stared at nothing in particular. “She was a bit younger than I was at the time and her family had been passing through. It was complicated but I promised to find her…we just don’t know where they went.” He sighed tiredly. I wanted to ask so many questions but his expression made my chest ache and the trickling energy under my skin grew to a burning itch.
“Sage, I think you’re her…” He admitted as I sucked in a surprised gasp. The buzz in my head intensified until it was all I could hear.
“I-I’m not —” the words were breathless as I tried to take in air but panic made my airway close.
It took him a moment to realize something wasn’t right. Max turned, brushing stray hair from my face and cupped my cheeks. His lips moved but I couldn’t hear him over the rushed ringing.
Chapter 4
Disoriented, I sucked in a breath and let out a pained groan. The action only proved to intensify the pounding in my skull and I instantly regretted drinking. An arm pressed uncomfortably into my bladder and I struggled to tug it off, muscles aching in protest. It felt like I’d been dragged behind a semi.
A familiar popcorn ceiling with wood beam detail greeted me. The arm definitely wasn’t Connie’s; the skin was too warm and hairy, the limb too thick. Max’s hair tickled my cheek where he’d draped himself around me, head resting on my shoulder as he snored lightly.
“Shit,” I whispered, blinking up at the ceiling in a daze. How did we get here? Had I let him bring me home? The ocean scent held a different meaning now I knew who it belonged to. How drunk had I been? I racked my brain and shifted under him, eliciting a grumble that only served to tighten his hold.
“Max–” I choked out as the need to pee became my top priority. I cursed quietly and elbowed him to extract myself from his iron heavy grip. Ignoring his pained grunt, I rushed out of the room and breathed a sigh of relief that the bathroom door was propped open. Pushing into the small room, I quietly locked the door.
After using the toilet, I stood staring at myself in the mirror and winced. My hair stuck straight up on the top, the ends matted and frizzy, and the makeup Connie had painted me with was smudged where it ran down my cheeks.
Had I been crying?
Shaking my head, I quickly ran the tap and used a hand towel to clean up. Did the others see me last night? I couldn’t remember much. For some reason, my chest ached and I rubbed the skin above the t-shirt someone had slipped over me.
Rubbing my eyes, I splashed more water on my face. Almost desperate to remember how I ended up here, who had dressed me? My dress was still on but they’d added a shirt and taken my jacket. About as clean as I could get short of a long hot shower, I wandered out to the hall. The sight of my shoes haphazardly thrown to the living room floor pulled another wince from me.
A throat cleared, not leaving much time to stew over my embarrassment. The sound startled me and I spun to find Slade and Knox sitting at the dining table. He scowled at me while sipping his coffee. Dark tattoos peaked out from the neck of his shirt and added to the intensity of his stare. Was he having fun watching my life blow up?
Pressing a palm against my heated cheeks, I ducked my head and stalked across the room to my shoes. Fully intending to walk back to the cabin on my own, even if I didn’t know exactly how to get there. I’d figure it out. Before I could step into them, Knox called my name.
“You should apologize to Max and I advise against drinking. You’re not giving your body a chance to heal.” He shook his head, eyes still cast to the tablet in front of him. Not wanting to acknowledge the smudges under their eyes, I crossed my arms and worried my bottom lip.
“Yeah, well I won’t be drinking like that again. You don’t have to worry about me, I’m perfectly fine.” I lied, hating how my voice scratched as I tried to inch towards the door. Just as I stepped forward Slade suddenly appeared in front of me with a stern glare.
