Hate and chaos the compl.., p.43
Hate & Chaos : The Complete Duet, page 43
“Great, you came to your senses.” She smiles back at me sweetly before placing the tray on one of the chairs outside the cell. She doesn’t elaborate on her statement and since I don’t know what she’s talking about, I simply let it go for now.
She pulls her chair all the way up to the iron bars so I can reach through and grab something while pulling yet another chair up to sit on.
I move my cot closer as well, so we have the illusion of sitting at a table across from each other. Reaching through the iron bars, I grab one of the four croissants and pull it through to my side. I take a bite of the buttery pastry and chew it slowly while watching Scarlet take a sip of orange juice.
“I’m so glad therapy is going well. Dr. Stone says you are responding well. She’ll be here in about an hour and a half, so we have time.”
Alarm bells go off in my head. They brought in a shrink. Great. Ren is trying to get rid of me, of course. I shouldn’t be surprised by that or how easily Scarlet is fooled. I can fool the therapist the same and maybe I can get rid of Ren in the process. That would be a fucking plot twist.
“I’ll do what I can to fix this,” I say with a smile.
“I know.” Scarlet’s face lights up with happiness and contentment. I hate how beautiful she is when she smiles, but I know she is even prettier when she cries. I wonder if I can make her cry today. Weep for her Ren to come back, or for her daddy to protect her.
“How’s your croissant?” I ask as she takes a bite.
“It’s delicious,” she answers while her cheeks are full of pastry. “Want some jam for yours?” She moves the bowl of strawberry jam closer to me, and my eyes fall onto the small knife right next to it. She must have forgotten that I’m not allowed sharp objects. I could easily grab it and stab Scarlet in the neck. Her bleeding out in front of me, gurgling blood while her sad little eyes look at me in shock.
“I’ll have some jam,” I say, pushing my thoughts of murder away. Ren would lose his fucking mind, more than he already has, if I hurt her. Could that be the key to get rid of him or would that be the end of both of us? I can’t take that risk? Especially now that she is carrying his little spawn. I wonder if she’s told him yet. Surely she hasn’t told her family or they would have locked her up in her room for good.
I grab the knife through the bars. The cool metal lays heavy in my hand, provoking the beast inside of me once again. Instead of stabbing Scarlet, I use the knife to spread some strawberry jam over the pit of my croissant.
“Did Dr. Stone leave that for you?” Scarlet points at something on the ground.
My gaze follows where she is pointing, and my eyes fall onto a thick textbook lying next to my cot. Dissociative Identity Disorder for Patients.
“Oh yes, she gave it to me for homework, I guess.”
“Cool, did you start reading it yet?”
“No, but I will today. I was tired last night and went to bed early.”
“Are you sleeping all right here? Maybe, I can talk my dad into moving you into one of the guestrooms.”
“That would be nice.” It would make it ten times easier to break out of this hellhole. “I haven’t been sleeping great.”
“I’m sorry,” genuine concern laces her voice. “I’ll talk to him, but I can’t promise much. You know what I had to do just to see you.” She flinches as if she just caught herself saying more than she meant to.
Curiosity gets the better of me. “What?”
Scarlet sighs, biting into her croissant quickly. She chews slowly, like she is hoping I will forget my question. When I keep looking at her expectantly, she finally gives in.
“I didn’t want to bring the tracker up again.”
My first impulse is to shrug my shoulders, but then I remember Ren would give a shit. “Oh, yes, that.” I play it off like I already knew about it. “I still wish you hadn’t done that. You should be free of your father’s control.”
“It was worth it. I could not stand staying up in my room another day without seeing you.”
Another day? Worry fills my gut. How long have I been here and why has Ren been in control for that long?
I won’t have answers to those questions now, but at least I can teach Scarlet a lesson and hopefully piss Ren off in the process. Scarlet needs to understand the kind of power I have over her.
Standing up, I move right up to the bars until my body is pressed to the cool iron. “Come here,” I coax. “I wanna kiss you.”
Scarlet’s full lips pull up in a lopsided grin as she gets up from her chair and closes the distance between us. Her body is so close now I can feel the heat radiating off of her. She brings up her slender hand and weaves it through the bars, cupping my cheek like it belongs there.
I have to fight the instinct not to slap her hand away from me. Instead, I’m leaning into her touch and placing my hand over hers. She pulls me closer, urging my face to meet hers.
Our lips touch, first softly, then with an urgency I didn’t expect. My body comes to life, electricity flowing through me like a lightning storm. Her lips move against mine passionately, her tongue softly begging for entry, which I grant happily.
For a moment, I forget where I am, and what I’m doing here, and simply enjoy her closeness. I never enjoy anything; the thought of revenge, pain, and suffering is all I’ve known… until now.
Scarlet moans softly, pressing her body closer to mine until there is no space between us. My cock is painfully hard, pushing against her warm dress. I want nothing more than to rip that dress off her body and fuck her senseless, but then I remember I’m in a fucking cell, a prison her father put me in, that she put me in.
In an instant, my mind is clear, and I shove the moment of unforeseen happiness away so I can invite the darkness back into my soul.
I move my hand to her wrist where I take a hold of it before she can pull away. She breaks the kiss with a gasp when I tighten my grip painfully. I weave my other hand through the iron bars to grab a hold of her hip, keeping her in place just where I want her.
“What are you doing?”
“Teaching you a lesson, Angel,” I taunt.
“River…You won’t hurt me,” Scarlet says with her chin tipped up like she is confident about her answer.
“You are right, this won’t hurt, at least not you.”
15
SCARLET
“What do you mean, at least not me?” I question, trying my best to keep my voice even.
“If you behave, this might actually feel good for you.”
“What…” My next question dissipates into thin air when his hand moves from my hip to the hem of my skirt and disappears beneath it. His fingers brush against my inner thigh, his rough skin meets my softer one and butterflies take off in my stomach.
I’m frozen, my feet cemented to the ground as he dips his fingers into my panties. I want to tell him to stop, but my throat is clogged up, my mouth dry and my tongue glued to the roof of my mouth. Who am I kidding? I don’t want him to stop. Is that so wrong of me? This is still my Ren, no matter what, and I always want him.
His fingers delve into my folds, rubbing over my sensitive clit, making me bite into my lip so I won’t moan.
“I was right. You do like this. You like being Ren’s angel, but you also like being my little slut.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and press my lips together, unwilling to admit that I do like him calling me that. And I definitely like how he is rubbing circles over the small bundle of nerves between my legs.
My pussy grows wetter with each stroke, letting his fingers slide over my sensitive flesh with ease. Shifting my stance, I part my thighs slightly, giving him better access.
“Look at you being my good little whore. Spreading your legs for me like a slut. You like being my sex toy, letting me use you anywhere and anyway I want,” River says in a husky voice. This time I can’t help but moan, making him chuckle in response.
“Say it… say you like being my slut,” he orders as he dips one of his fingers deep inside of me, reaching that special spot that sets my core ablaze.
Shaking my head, I keep my eyes closed, being too much of a coward to look at him while he fingers me.
“Say it or I’ll stop,” he threatens, and I know he is serious too, already pulling the finger from my pussy.
“I like… I like being your slut,” I blurt out, forcing the words past the giant lump in my throat.
“Good girl,” he praises. “Now open your eyes and look at me when you come all over my hand.”
“Ugh! Please don’t make me,” I beg. “Please.”
River lets go of my wrist, knowing damn well I’m not going anywhere now. With his free hand, he grabs hold of my hair, forcing my head back. His lips are only inches from mine, his minty breath fans over my face.
“Open your eyes,” he orders again. This time his voice is a bit sharper.
Not wanting him to stop, I force my eyes open and let my gaze connect with his stormy one. His eyes are filled with lust and a darkness I didn’t know I craved until this moment.
“Good slut.” A sinister smirk forms on his lips. “Your cunt is so fucking wet for me. If these bars weren’t between us, I would fuck you senseless. I would bend you over and fuck you from behind until you scream my name. Tell me, has Ren fucked your ass yet? I bet you would like that too, getting railed in that tight forbidden hole.”
I’m not sure what exactly sets me off, his finger pressing against my clit, his intense gaze pinning me, or his dirty talk alone. No matter what the cause, I come suddenly and hard. So hard I have to lean against the iron bars for support.
“Oh, my god.” I throw my head back, letting pleasure run through every vein of my body until my muscles are sore and slack.
I am still in a daze of post orgasm happiness when River suddenly shoves me away. I stumble backward, almost falling on my ass in the process. I somehow manage to regain stability. Looking around, disoriented, I realize why he pushed me away.
Down the hall, Dr. Stone is walking in our direction. I glance back at River, who has a big smile plastered on his face. He looks right at me as he brings his glistening fingers to his mouth and wraps his lips around them to suck them clean. I gulp, not understanding why this turns me on so much. Is there something wrong with me?
“Good morning,” Dr. Stone greets when she gets closer. “Everything okay? You look a bit… flushed.”
“I’m fine,” I say, a little too fast and too loud.
Get it together.
I brush my hands down my dress, making sure everything is back in place before I take my seat once more.
“Dr. Stone, meet River,” I introduce them like he is a whole new person she’s never met.
“River, it’s nice to meet you. Would you guys like to finish your breakfast? I can come back in twenty minutes.”
“That won’t be necessary,” River says. “I have nothing to say to you.”
“I’m only here to help. There is nothing to worry about.”
“You are here to help Ren. I know what you are doing. You are trying to get rid of me.”
“That’s not true at all. I’m here to give both you and Ren more control, and it starts by having a better understanding of each other.”
I’m not sure if she is telling the truth or just saying anything to keep him calm. Either way, I’m not ready to leave. Unless one of them asks me to, I’m staying right here.
“And how is that supposed to work?”
“For starters, I brought you this.” She digs in her purse and pulls out a notebook and pen. “I would like you to start writing in it every day, kind of like a diary. You can write about your day, about your feelings, your thoughts, anything you like.”
“Sounds fun,” River muses sarcastically.
Dr. Stone holds the notebook and pen through the bars, but River doesn’t move to take them. She clears her throat and opens the food latch instead to place it inside.
“Would you be comfortable talking about your childhood with me? Ren doesn’t seem to remember a lot, and I was hoping you could shed some light on what happened back then.”
When River simply stares at me without answering, Dr. Stone continues. “Would you like Scarlet to leave?”
“No, she should stay. I’m sure it would hurt her hearing what Ren and I had to go through,” he says with a smirk that makes my skin crawl.
“And why do you want to hurt Scarlet that way?”
River holds my gaze as he talks like he is talking directly to me instead of the doctor. “Because she deserves it. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be locked in here. I would have already gotten the revenge I deserve.”
Dr. Stone clears her throat and shifts in her seat like she is uncomfortable. “Okay. Scarlet, if you want to stay, feel free, but if you don’t want to hear this, you don’t have to.”
“If she leaves, I won’t talk at all,” River threatens.
Does he really hate me that much or is he just playing games to mess with me? Probably both.
“I’m staying,” I confirm.
“Okay then, let’s get started. River, could you share some of your earliest memories with us?”
“Mhhh, let me think.” River says, as if he is not taking any of this seriously, but I can see the real pain in his eyes reflecting back at me. “Getting beaten with a belt or a whip comes to mind. Crying myself to sleep is up there too. Not getting fed for days at a time was a fun one too.”
“And how did that make you feel?”
“Pissed.”
“Anger is a very valid feeling, but usually there is more underneath. Can you tell us what else you were feeling back then?”
For the first time, River averts his vision, looking at something on the ground instead of me. His jaw is tight, and his hands are balled up into fists next to him. Clearly, he’s uncomfortable talking about this.
Dr. Stone gives him a few moments to answer, but when he doesn’t, she pushes on. “It’s easy to be angry, but anger doesn’t actually help you heal.”
“Who says I want to heal? All I want is revenge.”
“And what then? Do you think you won’t be angry after? I have some bad news for you. Even if you hurt everyone you feel like deserves it, that dark, empty feeling inside of you will never go away. There is only one way to be happy again, and that is to deal with your trauma.”
“I have some bad news for you as well,” River tells the doctor. “I like feeling this way. Happiness can go fuck off. You want to know how it made me feel getting abused as a child? I felt weak, helpless, and unloved. But I don’t anymore, and I never will feel that way again. I feel nothing but the need to kill, and I won’t stop until everyone who hurt me is dead.”
“I don’t believe you,” I blurt out, drawing River’s attention to me once more. “You are lying. Everyone wants to be loved and so do you.”
River suddenly gets up from his cot, his chest rising and falling rapidly, his nostrils flared. I don’t know why me saying this made him so angry, but he clearly is. “Whatever makes you sleep better at night, Angel,” he finally says through gritted teeth.
“Why don’t we change the subject?” Dr. Stone tries to defuse the situation.
“I’m done for today,” River announces before turning his back to us. “Thanks for the notepad. I’ll be sure to tell Ren all about today.” He snickers.
If it wasn’t for the doctor, I’d probably take the stupid notepad back.
“I’ll walk you out,” I offer, and Dr. Stone nods with a gentle smile before gathering her things.
As we make our way to the exit, I can’t help but ask, “Are you sure you can help Ren now that you have met River?”
“It will be a long journey, but since Ren is willing to work with me, there is no doubt in my mind I can help in the long run. Just be patient with him. It will take time.”
Time. I wish I had enough, but with being pregnant, I’ve got nine months tops. I need Ren beside me. There is no way I can have this baby on my own.
16
SCARLET
“I’m so glad you decided to come out with me. It’s not that I mind shopping when I’m by myself, but it’s so much more fun to have somebody to talk to and ask for opinions.”
Aspen smiles at me from over the top of a rack of baby clothes. They are adorable, so cute I could cry. Little dresses, little pairs of overalls. The tiniest shoes. My fingers itch with the need to touch everything, to hold it.
To put it in a cart so I can buy it for my baby.
Impossible. I can’t even afford to think about it as we move from rack to rack in the cute little store. The mood here is bright and cheerful, and it’s infectious. I’m able to smile happily through the jealousy that exists on the edges of my awareness.
I want to be able to do this for myself. I want to be happy about being pregnant. I want to feel hopeful, the way Aspen does. Instead, I carry the secret inside me, knowing it would be a very bad idea to announce it now. At this rate, I don’t know when would be a good time to tell everybody. I haven’t even gotten up the nerve to tell Ren, mostly because I’m still never sure if River is going to pop out. I don’t feel like trying to share a personal moment with somebody who hates me just for existing.
And forget telling my family. I don’t even want to think about the horror show that would turn into. Dad would never let me out of my room again. Quinton would never stop bitching and making threats against somebody he was supposed to love like a brother. There’s a tiny part of me that wonders if something like a baby would eventually unite us, but I’m not a little girl anymore. I can’t afford to believe in the impossible.
“How do you feel?” I’m genuinely curious, and not only because she’s my sister-in-law, and she’s carrying my little niece or nephew. I sort of want to know what to expect once the months start to pass.
Her eyes cut to the side, where one of the guard’s Q insisted on sending with us stands only ten feet away, his back to the front door. There’s another guard at the rear exit, as well. Can’t be too careful.
