Rufus, p.4
Rufus, page 4
As was her right if she so chose, he allowed.
But he couldn’t—wouldn’t allow a liar anywhere near his daughter or granddaughter.
He released her arm and stepped away. “I think we both know that isn’t true,” he bit out grimly. “Just as you must know I can’t allow anyone near Mia, and now Lilybeth, whom I can’t completely trust.”
Molly could see the resolve in Rufus’s hard green eyes and knew that, as far as he was concerned, this was the end of their association. That, quite rightly, Mia’s and Lilybeth’s safety and happiness came first with him. And Molly’s less-than-helpful replies just now had given him serious reason to doubt her in that regard.
Given the circumstances, even the smallest doubt in Rufus’s mind would be enough for him to no longer trust her.
He couldn’t possibly know Molly would never ever hurt Mia or Lilybeth. She would rather put herself in harm’s way than ever do that.
But Rufus saw only black and white where his daughter, and now granddaughter, was concerned, and Molly’s evasive behavior just now had put her in a gray area, if not a black one.
She drew in a shaky breath. “I had a younger brother.”
“What?”
“I had a brother,” she repeated in the face of his complete bafflement.
“I didn’t find any record of him when I—” Rufus broke off abruptly, looking uncomfortable.
“It’s okay.” Molly gave a half smile. “Mia told me you had to do a security check on me before I could start work at the shelter. Ronan was just a baby.”
“Like Lilybeth.”
She nodded. “Just a few weeks older than Lilybeth, yes.”
He grimaced. “Which is why it upset you to hold her.”
Not quite. But close enough.
Rufus shook his head. “I know that there was no official record of your own birth, but there was also no mention in the police report of a baby being found in the apartment with you.”
“That’s because my mother took Ronan with her when she left.”
“What the hell!”
Molly avoided Rufus’s gaze as she released a long and slow breath. “And the reason there was no record of my own or Ronan’s birth was because my mother didn’t like what she called ‘interfering government bureaucracy’ snooping into her life.”
“And you didn’t tell the police about Ronan?”
“No.”
“Why not? Never mind,” he dismissed before she could think of an answer. “You were only a child yourself, and you’d been abandoned and living on your own for five days and nights when the police found you. As far as you were concerned, it must have hurt to think your mother had chosen to take Ronan with her rather than you.”
There was more to it than that, so much more, but Molly had already told Rufus all that she dared. Perhaps, more than was wise.
“Would you like me to find him for you now?”
Molly recoiled. “What?” she gasped.
Rufus shrugged. “Now that I know exactly what I’m looking for, I can do another, more in-depth search for what happened to your mother and brother. We didn’t have the amount of camera surveillance then as we do now, and it might take a while, but I’m sure I’ll be able to find an archived image of them somewhere. People really don’t tend to just disappear.”
Did Molly want Rufus to look for her mother and Ronan?
She wanted to know Ronan was safe, yes.
But her mother?
Sarah Harper had abandoned her and, for all intents and purposes, had never looked back nor cared if Molly lived or died once she was gone.
After so many years, Molly felt the same disinterest in knowing her mother’s fate.
Rufus saw the conflicting emotions in Molly’s changing expression, and he could easily guess the reason for it. To be abandoned by her own mother was heartbreaking enough, but to know that same mother had taken Molly’s brother with her but left her behind must be devastating.
So much so that Rufus had no idea how Molly usually appeared so cheerful as an adult.
“Look at me, Molly,” he prompted gruffly, waiting until she had raised those beautiful long-lashed blue eyes to look at him before lowering his head and slowly brushing his lips against hers.
He instantly felt that same surge of electricity through his body as he had at the shelter earlier when their gazes had caught and become locked.
That same flare of desire he felt was also evident in Molly’s eyes.
Rufus’s pleasure was intensified a hundred times with the feel of Molly’s soft lips beneath and responding to his.
“Come home with me.” He lifted his head to breathe huskily against her lips. “I promise you can leave anytime you want, but please come home with me when we leave here.” Rufus desperately needed privacy for when, or if, this attraction between them moved to the next level.
At the same time, he knew it was utter madness to allow himself to succumb to these feelings.
But it was an intensity of desire Rufus had never felt before. With any woman, including his wife.
He could deny it as much as he liked.
Could keep trying to deny Molly in the same way.
But it was becoming increasingly impossible for him to do that now he had seen that same desire reflected in her expressive blue eyes.
A desire the sudden regret in her expression said she was about to deny.
His chest felt heavy. “Molly—”
“I’m about to take a tray of tea things in to Mr. and Mrs. Kingston. Would the two of you also like a drink?”
Rufus turned to find the receptionist from earlier standing behind them. The same receptionist Molly had told she was Mia’s sister and Rufus’s daughter. Their closeness right now was hardly that of a father and his daughter!
The teasing light in the woman’s eyes obviously agreed with him. “Tea?” she prompted again brightly.
“No. Thank you,” he refused woodenly, almost afraid to look at Molly and see her reaction to the two of them having been found in such a compromising position.
“Don’t look so worried, love.” The receptionist squeezed Molly’s arm as she passed her. “I already knew you weren’t Mrs. Kingston’s sister.”
“You did?”
She nodded. “It says on her notes that her only relatives are her husband and father. But you arrived with Mr. Wynter, so I had to assume he wouldn’t allow just anyone in to see his daughter and granddaughter.”
“You assumed correctly,” he confirmed.
He had no idea if the receptionist was one of the people who had read the articles in the newspaper two years ago about his reconciliation with his daughter, but it was a fair assumption to make that she had.
“Molly is a close friend of Mia’s, and my daughter asked me to bring her with me so she could visit with her and the baby,” he added.
The older woman nodded. “If you change your mind about the tea, just let me know.” She walked away. “If I had a Daddy who looked like you, I probably wouldn’t want to let him out of my sight either,” she called out cheekily as she disappeared into a room farther down the hallway.
Leaving an awkward silence behind her.
Molly wasn’t sure if she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her or to break into hysterical laughter.
One look at the discomfort of Rufus’s expression, and the latter won out.
He initially scowled his displeasure when she began to laugh, but then seconds later, he joined in, and the two of them laughed together for several minutes.
“The look on your face was priceless!” Molly eventually managed to gasp, her hands resting on her thighs as she bent over slightly, trying to catch her breath.
“I have no interest in being your Daddy,” he grumbled.
She knew that, but that one kiss they had shared told her he was definitely the man Molly knew she had been falling in love with for the past three months.
The same man she now realized she had told far too much about her past.
Why had she done that?
Molly knew exactly why.
Because no matter what happened next, she didn’t want Rufus to think badly of her after she was gone.
Even as she recognized it was a futile hope if Rufus ever learned the truth about her and the real reason she had jumped at the chance to work at Mia’s animal shelter.
She had been living a lie these past three months, indulging in a life she knew she couldn’t keep and forming a friendship with Mia that she also knew had to end.
Kissing Rufus meant she had now started something much deeper with him that most definitely couldn’t be allowed to go any further.
She straightened. “I don’t need or want a Daddy either,” she assured him coolly. “Real or kink-wise,” she added dismissively. “But I do need to get back to the shelter. I told Meg I’d only be gone a couple of hours.” She was effectively refusing his invitation to go home with him without actually saying the words.
Rufus frowned his frustration with that statement for several seconds before nodding tersely. “I’ll drive you.”
“No, thank you.” She gave him a brightly insincere smile. “There’s a bus stop directly outside the hospital.” She didn’t know that for certain, but she hoped there was.
“Then I’ll come and see you later this evening.”
“I’d rather you didn’t,” Molly said, and immediately had to harden her heart against the look of disappointment now shadowing Rufus’s eyes. “I have a lot to do when I get back, plus I have to spend time loving on Honey this evening to make up for Mia and Darius’s absence.” She would have rather spent time “loving on” Rufus, but she’d never held too many expectations of her wishes coming true.
Which was not self-pity, because she refused to indulge in that if it could be avoided. It was simply a fact that she rarely, if ever, received what she most wished for.
Which was ungrateful of her because she had just spent three months getting to know and become friends with Mia. Something she had never thought possible.
But now she would seriously have to start thinking about packing up her stuff and moving on. After she’d helped out with the open days at the shelter this weekend, of course. She wouldn’t let Mia down by leaving before that.
And what about her feelings for Rufus?
They, and he, were something else she couldn’t have.
Rufus didn’t like Molly’s plans for the evening one little bit. Mainly because they didn’t include him.
At the same time, he couldn’t dispute the fact that not only had Molly verbally turned down his offer to go home with him or for him to visit her at her apartment later this evening, but the determination in her eyes told him she was absolutely sincere in that refusal.
He should never have kissed her!
She had just looked so sad at that moment, he hadn’t been able to resist.
But knowing the reason for Molly’s wistful expression earlier had now given him a purpose that would hopefully result in him having a legitimate reason to see her again.
All he had to do was find her brother, who had been only a few weeks old when he disappeared with their mother.
All!
Despite his confidence when he spoke to Molly on the subject, Rufus knew that looking for Ronan Harper after all these years was going to be like looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack.
Which didn’t mean Rufus wasn’t going to do everything he could, and ask Linus to use every one of his hacker skills, to search for Molly’s now seventeen-year-old brother.
CHAPTER FIVE
“It suits you.”
Rufus turned to look at his daughter as she joined him in Lilybeth’s nursery. He was standing in front of the window, holding the baby in his arms and pointing out and naming the surrounding buildings to her.
Not that Lilybeth understood a word he was saying or was even interested in the London landmarks, but she’d seemed to like the sound of his voice before she fell asleep, and so he had just kept talking. He was just happy to be here and holding her.
Mia and Lilybeth had been discharged from hospital yesterday afternoon. Rufus had given the family the rest of the day and the night together before visiting first thing this morning.
Darius had taken advantage of Rufus’s arrival to collect Honey from the shelter and bring her home to meet Lilybeth.
Before being adopted by Darius and Mia, the Golden Labrador had been trained to relieve stress in humans. Darius had been suffering from PTSD when he and Mia first met, and Honey had been amazing in helping him deal with that. Rufus knew that the dog would now be Lilybeth’s perfect protector.
“You look good holding a baby in your arms,” Mia said, explaining her earlier remark, her smile relaxed as she came farther into the room. “I’m curious… Why did you never remarry and have more children?” she prompted as she tidied the nursery from where she had fed and changed Lilybeth before going to her bathroom to tidy her own appearance.
Rufus felt a painful tightening in his chest. “Possibly because my wife and daughter were killed in a vehicular pileup on a motorway which developed into a fire that destroyed them and my whole fucking reason for— Fuck! Damn,” he substituted, wincing as he looked down at the still-sleeping Lilybeth. “I apologize,” he told Mia earnestly. “For the remark and the swearing.”
“You’re allowed to feel as if fate cheated you of the life you should have had,” she consoled, her hand warm on his arm.
“But maybe not to swear so much about it in front of you or my granddaughter.” He grimaced. “The truth is, I buried myself in my work.” He felt the need for honesty after his previous outburst. “By the time I raised my head, twenty years had passed, and Nikolai bloody Volkov, of all people, was introducing me to my miraculously still-very-much-alive daughter. I can’t apologize for swearing this time.” He scowled. “The arrogance of that bast—man, is enough to make a saint swear.”
Mia chuckled. “I have a completely different opinion of him. Because he gave us back to each other,” she added huskily.
And in the two years since that time, the arrogant Russian never lost an opportunity to remind Rufus of that fact whenever Mia and Darius invited them to the same social event or dinner. Which they did a lot.
Rufus was completely certain of his place in Mia’s affections. He also knew she looked at Nikolai as an honorary uncle. After years of her having no family at all, he couldn’t begrudge her that relationship.
“Darius and I have also asked him to be Lilybeth’s godfather,” Mia added calmly.
“He’s second to the head of the Russian bratva in London, not the Italian Mafia,” Rufus muttered.
Mia gave another chuckle. “He and Daisy came to visit us last night. We asked them both then, and they have accepted.”
Daisy Volkov, in contrast to her arsehole of a husband, was one of the nicest women Rufus had ever met. How the hell she ever ended up married to the man who was known for being the killer called the Wolf in his native Russia as well as here, was a mystery to Rufus.
He nodded. “Good choice.”
Rufus knew, despite Nikolai’s enjoyment of annoying him, that the Volkovs would make excellent and protective godparents for Lilybeth. He would willingly approve of anyone who wanted to keep Mia and Lilybeth safe.
“You didn’t really answer my question,” Mia reminded softly.
No, he hadn’t.
But the answer he’d given her was literally the truth. He had spent almost half his lifetime feeling numb inside after being told his wife and daughter were dead. They were both just gone, and he would never see either of them again.
Even the thought of dating again, let alone having more children, had made him feel ill.
He simply hadn’t been able to reconcile the idea of having another life, another love or children, when Beth and Emily had perished in such a horrendous way.
“It would have felt as if I was replacing you,” he admitted.
“No.” Mia squeezed his arm, a frown between the eyes that were the exact color of his own. “You must never think that.”
“I haven’t lived the life of a monk, love,” he assured ruefully. “I’m really not that noble. I just never allowed myself to care for anyone enough to take the relationship further. I always made sure they knew that before—well…before.”
“Not sure I want to hear about my father’s sex life,” Mia teased before sobering. “But what about now?”
“What about it?”
“Dad.” There was a wealth of daughterly reproval in that single word. “I’ve seen the way you look at Molly.”
Rufus tensed, immediately passing that tension on to Lilybeth, who began to stir and whimper in his arms. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to startle you.” He lowered his head to kiss Lilybeth’s downy forehead before scowling at his daughter. “Isn’t Molly a little young for me?” he dismissed.
“What do they say? Age is just a number.”
“So is seventeen, which is how many years older than her I am.”
“But you like her—”
“I like a lot of people.”
“Apart from Nikolai,” Mia derided.
“Hey, I like him,” he protested. “I just have an impulse to punch him in his arrogant nose every time I see him.”
“But it’s such a regal and aquiline blade of a nose,” Mia lamented.
“If you like arrogant Russians. Which you and Darius obviously do,” Rufus acknowledged. “I think your choice of the Volkovs as Lilybeth’s godparents is perfect.” He had absolutely no doubt that Nikolai would take the duty of protecting Lilybeth as seriously as he did that of his own family. Which was very seriously indeed.
“What about Molly?”
“Darling, I just told you—”
“We’ve decided to ask her to be Lilybeth’s other godmother.”
Rufus could only stare at his daughter in disbelief.
“Admittedly, we haven’t known her for very long, but I feel—I feel the same instinctive connection to her as I do Nikolai,” Mia explained. “Probably because of our similar backgrounds. She doesn’t have any family of her own, Dad,” she pleaded when Rufus couldn’t think of a suitable reason to veto a decision which would keep Molly in his life.
