I was wearing jeans and an old gray Henley, one that fitted to my muscles according to one of the guests that had come in, but I didn’t care. Elijah liked his suits because they were far different from what he wore when he was on active duty and now wanted to feel like a new man. Plus, he was the operations director for the winery. Suits worked for him.

  I was just the one who was the head of the winery and grumbled in the background.

  “How was your date with Joy?” I asked as I levered myself into the golf cart.

  “She’s fucking amazing.” Elijah grinned at me, and I shook my head, wondering why I’d even asked.

  “Is she the reason why you’re so hyper?”

  “I told you it was the coffee, but that was because I stayed up way too late.” He winked, and I just groaned.

  “I don’t want to know about your sex life.”

  “I’m not telling you about my sex life. Yes, we did have sex, but it was more of us just talking all night. She’s amazing, Evan. I mean, she just gets me. I really like her.”

  That was a change. So far, the only person in a serious relationship of my siblings down here in Texas was Eli. Eli and Alexis were getting married soon and moving in together. Our baby sister Eliza was up in Colorado, married, and a mom.

  I had been the first one of us who had gotten married, but I was divorced and now forced to work with my ex-wife.

  But Elijah sounded serious. That was something.

  “So, are we going to meet this Joy?” I asked as we turned down the path, and Elijah nodded and waved at a few guests. I just folded my arms over my chest and tried not to glare. I needed to not hurt this family company. It was nice to work with my brothers after so long of us being separate. But now, I felt like if I didn’t act calm and rational, I would be the one that hurt my family. And I didn’t want to be that person. They all worried about me enough. I didn’t want it to be any worse.

  I knew each of my brothers had their own issues for why they had gotten out of the military. Each of us were either forced out of it or left because things just didn’t work.

  Elijah tapped his fingers along the wheel. “I don’t know. Meeting with the Wilders is a bit of a thing.”

  I raised a brow as I stared at him and shook my head. “We just threw Alexis to the wolves with Eli, didn’t we?”

  Elijah shrugged. “Pretty much. But she works with us, so it’s not the same thing.”

  That just reminded me of Kendall, and I held back a sigh.

  “I heard about what happened with Kendall. You want to talk about it?”

  My stomach clenched. “Do I look like I want to fucking talk about it?”

  “No, but you never want to talk about her, and I feel like you should, so maybe this time is different.”

  “I’m not going to talk about Kendall. There’s no need. She’s not my wife anymore, and she can clearly take care of herself.”

  We got out of the golf cart, and Elijah just sighed.

  “My situation isn’t yours. You should have Joy meet us,” I said after a minute.

  “Maybe. Before you guys find a way to scare her away, I can have you guys controlled and ready.”

  “As long as Joy makes you happy, go for it.”

  My brother gave me a long look. “I’m surprised you didn’t make the whole joke of Joy bringing me joy.”

  We walked through the winery entry area, nodded at a few of the workers, and I shook my head. “I thought about it, but I thought it was idiotic.”

  “Well, just don’t do it around her. She hates that.”

  “Honestly, I would hate it, too.”

  Maddie came up to us then, her smile tight, and I had a feeling she had heard Elijah talking about Joy. I knew that Maddie had a crush on Elijah, but I was doing my best to studiously ignore it. I wasn’t sure Elijah even realized, since he was dense about certain things like that.

  “Hello, boys, I see you’ve already had your coffee,” she said as she pointed at Elijah, then handed me a cup. “Here you go, Evan.”

  My brows rose. “You don’t have to get me coffee, Maddie.”

  “Well, I have bad news about the wine club, so I’m trying to butter you up with caffeine.” She took the spare cup that I had a feeling was supposed to go to Elijah and took a sip herself.

  “What’s the bad news?” Elijah asked as I tensed.

  “Two words.” Maddie cringed.

  “Dodge Ranch,” I growled.

  Dodge was the resort on the other side of town, and for some reason, they hated us. It was a family-run establishment like ours and a little more rundown, but they did their best to try to steal our clients and make us look like shit. When we’d had vandalism in the past, we had gone so far to think it was Dodge or one of his sons, LJ or Brayden. In the end, it had been someone else, but I still didn’t trust the family.

  “Talk to me,” Elijah said as he and Maddie moved off, leaving me to work with my vintner and vineyard manager.

  I didn’t work the grapes, nor was I the cellar master or someone who actually made the wine. My job was to direct it all, to put people in the right places, and Elijah was in charge of operating the sales, PR, and tasting room.

  We had two separate entities of a larger branch, all part of the main Wilders. It was complicated, but we liked complicated. And it was completely different from what we used to do.

  I went to speak with our winemaker, aka the vintner, and went over the next cab and red blend that we were going to be tasting soon.

  There was a frost coming in according to the weather alert, but that could change at any minute. South Texas weather made no sense to me. Then again, neither did most weather these days. It was in the seventies right now, and the fact that people were talking about frost just confused me.

  A wine tour was going on, and a couple of women gave me a look from head to toe, and I just shook my head.

  “I see the Wilders never disappoint,” Jay, my winemaker said, and I rolled my eyes.

  “Apparently, we are also on the tasting menu,” I mumbled, surprising myself, and Jay just grinned.

  As the tour came over, I nodded at my tour guide and answered any questions that I could, though Jay was far more knowledgeable than me. He was the one practically teaching me, and I was always learning.

  Sometimes it felt like that, at least.

  As the tour started to move away, two of the women with dark hair, wide grins, and tight leggings stayed.

  “So, you’re one of the Wilders?” one of the women asked, and I nodded. I needed not to be an asshole and push these women away.

  “I am. Are there any questions I can answer for you? I don’t want you to miss your tour.”

  “Oh no, we’ll keep up. We were just wondering if you’d like to come with us to the rest of the tasting? I know it’s a bit early for wine, but you work here after all.”

  I shook my head. “Don’t worry, ladies. You’ll have fun because we do mimosas with our sparkling tasting.”

  “Oh, we’re excited.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Maddie and Kendall walk by, Kendall’s shoulders tight, and I held back a curse. Well, if she was going to start dating, why shouldn’t I?

  It had been eight years, and I hadn’t had a serious relationship, but I’d been with women. It wasn’t like I could say no to everything. But, as the woman in front of me grinned at me, asking me once again if I wanted to join them, I knew I couldn’t.

  Even if Kendall thought I would, I wasn’t in the mood to date someone who would ask me out at work. Nor was I in the mood to deal with anyone else, other than my own emotions or feelings.

  Because frankly, I didn’t want to deal with those either. And that dream still haunted me, so I shook my head again.

  “No can do, ladies. I’m a little busy, but our tour guides will take care of you, don’t worry.”

  The tour guide, Josie, raised her brows and grinned. “Come on, ladies, make sure you catch up. We don’t want you to get lost in the barrels.”

  “That might be fun,” one of the women purred, but then she shrugged and walked away with her friend, and I rolled my shoulders back and went back to work.

  I was done. Just done.

  My day had already started off like shit, and as Kendall glared at me, walking down the path with Maddie again, I knew it wasn’t going to get any better.

  I needed to get my act together, to do better for my family.

  And that meant getting over my ex-wife.

  Finally.

  Chapter Four

  Kendall

  * * *

  My alarm shrilled, but I was already awake. It was hard to sleep these days, even when exhaustion set in when my mind kept whirling with a thousand different thoughts.

  I rolled over to the edge of my bed, turned off the alarm on my phone, and sat up, stretching.

  I still needed to move a few boxes from my guest room into here and unpack them, as there was barely anything on my walls, and I hadn’t changed the paint color since I moved in. Everything was a whisker gray, builders gray, and nothing spoke to me, but it was mine.

  When I worked at the restaurant downtown, I had worked underneath a Michelin Star chef and learned so much. It was because of him I was the chef I was today, but being in the kitchen meant notoriously long hours and no real time for life outside of food and the drama and politics that came with the kitchen full of steam and sharp utensils.

  My house barely felt like my own because I was rarely in it. I worked hard for my small home. I was the one who paid the down payment, and the mortgage was in my name. Nothing to do with this place had anything to do with my family or the Wilders. Except for now, whatever the Wilders paid me went towards that mortgage.

  I was rarely home these days, even with running my own kitchen.

  There had been no place for me to grow at that beautiful restaurant that I used to work at. The other person at my level was related to the chef. It was a family-run restaurant, and yes, it sucked that I wasn’t even going to be considered for a promotion, but in the end, my counterpart was brilliant. Talented. They probably would have gotten it without the fact that they were related.

  And so I had walked away as soon as I got the job at the Wilders’ place. There had been rumblings that they were looking for a new chef for over a year, but I hadn’t allowed myself to believe I was strong enough to be that person.

  But the Wilders had goals, dreams they always had. There was no changing that. They worked hard and played hard, but were strong for each other.

  Maybe not for me, but enough that it made sense that they worked as a unit.

  So, when they were finally looking for that last chef, I tossed my hat in and tried.

  And now I worked for them, and my ex-husband.

  I gritted my teeth, got out of bed, padded my way to my bathroom, and got ready for my day.

  Maybe I needed a cat. Of course, I wasn’t home enough for a cat, but my house was lonely. I didn’t even have any rugs on the floors, and though there was Texas heat, the Texas chill with its cold humidity still burned.

  I loved my gray floors, but perhaps I could add a thick white shag rug underneath the bed where I could warm my toes once I got out of bed.

  A cat wouldn’t appreciate that, so again, it was good I didn’t have one. Even if I wanted the company.

  I showered, blow-dried my hair, pulled it away from my face—knowing I would put it in a braid later—and did the minimum amount of makeup. The heat in the kitchen would melt it right off, but I also wanted to look decent. Not for Evan. No, never for Evan, but for myself. I liked feeling pretty, and I rarely had occasion to do so these days. Thankfully, Alexis and Maddie, and sometimes our innkeeper, Naomi, made me get all dressed up for dinner and drinks out, or even at the winery itself. But other than them, I didn’t have much call for looking nice, so I did my best to look decent for myself. And Sandy.

  I gritted my teeth, remembering now that one of my assistant chefs was gone, fired and hopefully never coming back, I had to find someone to replace him.

  Because while Sandy and I, as well as the rest of our kitchen staff, could handle nearly everything, when we got swamped on weekends nights and during Sunday brunch, we still needed help.

  That meant I needed to find a talented chef that wasn’t handsy and didn’t make me want to throw them off the roof.

  I went to my kitchen, made myself a coffee, and diced up some fruits for a fruit salad with toast. I made the bread that weekend, needing to relax, and baking soothed me. I had also made and salted my own butter, trying out new ways to fill my time. Not that I had much of it.

  I was just taking a bite of my toast when my phone buzzed, and I looked down at it and steeled myself.

  “Hi, Mom,’ I said, trying to sound positive. There wasn’t much positive for that.

  “Kendall. Are you not at work? I assumed you would be at work.”

  Then why were you calling me if you thought I was at work? Of course, I didn’t actually ask that because I didn’t want the whole spiel, so I just let her go on.

  “I’m going in soon. I work late nights, remember? Sandy does breakfast.” That was so Sandy could do her best to have dinner at home with her family. I was the one who closed the kitchen and did the morning inventory too. Sandy could usually handle breakfast independently with our staff, and sometimes I joined in. Today was my late morning.

  Not that watching the sunrise was late.

  “I see.” I ignored the ice in my mother’s voice because she didn’t see and would never be able to understand.

  “How is everything?”

  “I don’t even know why you’re asking me that. How could you ask me that?”

  I sighed and sank down onto the chair at my kitchen island.

  My mother began to drone on about work, her family, and everyone from the cashier at the grocery store to the barista who had gotten her order wrong.

  Nothing was ever good enough for my mother.

  I was on the top of that list of things that were never good enough but, after three decades of being that way, it was something I was used to.

  “And don’t even get me started on your father.”

  I rolled my eyes and muted myself, so I could finish my toast and she wouldn’t hear the crunching. It wasn’t like she needed my answers to any of her questions. She would just answer them herself.

  I looked around at my kitchen and figured out what next update I wanted to do. Maybe I could ask East to help me out because I wanted to change out my faucet, get something a little grander in rose gold that seemed to be in all of those videos I watched online when I took a break. Do it yourself was great when you could actually do it yourself. But East Wilder was the maintenance director and handyman of the Wilders and knew what he was doing. He could probably help me with the kitchen sink.

  “Now back to your father,” Mother continued, and I unmuted it so I could hum along, and she would know I was actually somewhat paying attention.

  “He’s with that woman.”

  I crossed my eyes. I let out a breath. “I’m sorry, Mom.”

  “Oh, don’t. Don’t start. Let me tell you what he did.” And she proceeded to tell me what he did with his new wife.

  That Vegas trip had been a change for nearly everyone in the family.

  While I had met and fallen for Evan far too quickly and ended up married to him in a whirlwind romance, my parents had fought one too many times.

  I was thankful I hadn’t been part of it, and they wouldn’t have cared if I was anyway. But after finding my father cheating for the fifth or so time in as many years, my mother had left my dad with a Vegas showgirl and had filed for divorce as soon as she returned home.

  I was still in college, trying to deal with the fact that my new husband was getting deployed, and I was suddenly an Air Force wife, learning all the acronyms and other things that came with it, but I had put my all into it, trying to be a good wife. And I thought I had done so for the two years I had been with Evan.

  On the other hand, my mother had put her effort in those two years to take as much from my father as she possibly could.

  And frankly, I did not blame her. Not with the way that my father had cavorted around with women most of their marriage.

  Now, Dad was on his second wife, which surprised me since he had been with this one for a while now, and the Vegas showgirl was long since in the past.

  Apparently, Mom and Dad had ended up at the same restaurant one night, even though they did their best to stay out of each other’s orbits.

  I thought it would have been easier if they had moved to different areas, but no, neither one of them wanted to leave. So, I was stuck being in the middle. Being in the middle and not really wanted. Someplace I was used to.

  “I’m sorry, Mom.”

  “I just don’t understand. I don’t understand him. Much like I don’t understand you. I hear you’re working with Evan Wilder? Are you trying to get back with him? You know, Kendall, what happens when you try to get back with them? They just push you back more, and they lie, and they cheat.”

  I squeezed my eyes closed and let out a breath. “Evan didn’t cheat on me. We just divorced.” He never cheated on me. That much I knew. He was completely devoted to me until he wasn’t. Until he left me high and dry, wondering what I had done wrong.

  “Just don’t you go back with him. And try to find someone else. What about that Dodge boy?”

  I froze. “Excuse me?” How on earth did she know of the Dodges?

  “I know his father, goes by Dodge. The owner of that resort. Such a lovely man.”

  Only my mother would think a narcissistic asshole who was trying to take down the Wilders’ business would be a lovely man. But he had money, and that’s what my mother liked. The man was married, though, and while I didn’t know if he was a good man or not, my mother did not sleep with married men, not after what my father had done to her.

  “I’m working, Mom. And I should probably head to work. I won’t be dating anyone.” Even though I told Evan I would be.

  “You’re getting older. You’re nearly thirty now. When are you going to go out and actually be someone?”

 

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