Inked devotion, p.7
Inked Devotion, page 7
That had been the roughest and hottest sex of my life, and while I remembered every bit of it, I kind of wish I didn’t. My girl parts wanted to do it again. Every other part of me knew it would be a mistake. And hell, so did my breasts. They wanted to do it again too, but every other part of me knew I shouldn’t. So I wasn’t going to.
I quickly showered and then spent the time to blow dry my hair after getting dressed in a decent outfit. I was going to see my mother later today, and she would know I’d had sex. She always did. However, she thought I was dating Benjamin, so maybe she wouldn’t overthink it.
I know I wasn’t dating Benjamin. No, I had drunken sex with him, and now we were going to have to forget about it.
I’d never had a one-night stand in my life, and of course, my first had to be with a man I saw weekly.
After I finished doing my hair, I opened the door, realizing I was hiding from him, taking up space, and looked out to see he had made the bed, packed up everything, and had put all of my things next to my bag. He stood there, looking far too sexy as he spoke on the phone.
“Yeah, Beckett, we’re safe. We’re going to head to her mother’s soon. Don’t worry about us.”
He was on the phone with his brother. And I had no idea what he had said to him.
Benjamin gave me a look and shook his head, and relief poured through me. Something must have flashed in my face, and hurt crossed his, and I felt terrible for it. I shouldn’t make Benjamin feel bad, but I also knew we couldn’t do this again. We couldn’t.
Even if that wasn’t something that would be easy for either one of us to work through.
At least for me, that was.
Benjamin hung up and gave me a look. “I didn’t tell him. Because we should talk first, and I know me telling my brother over the phone that you and I slept together in a drunken haze is probably not the best thing to do.”
“You’re right,” I said. “I have no idea what we’re going to do.”
“Good, I’m not the only one. Are you ready to go?”
I shook my head. “I need to put on makeup.”
“Then we can talk as you do that.”
“Benjamin…” I began, and he shook head. I let out a breath. “Okay.”
I added a little tinted moisturizer, some mascara, and maybe a little bronzer around the edges of my face to make it look like I had more than a few hours of sleep. Ugh, and concealer. Let’s not forget the concealer.
“You know you’re always so fucking beautiful. I sometimes forget that you wear makeup underneath all the flour and baking goods I usually see you in.”
I paused. “I don’t know how to take that.”
“You don’t have to take it at all. I’m letting you know I think you are beautiful.”
Everything felt weird, forced. And it was all on me. “Benjamin.”
“What, Brenna?” He let out a rough growl that did things to me I didn’t want to think about. “We slept together. Do you regret it?”
I looked at him then and winced.
He sighed and let out a breath. “You regret it.”
“I’m not saying regret regret, but more of we really shouldn’t have done that. You know we shouldn’t have done that. We’re friends first.”
“And everybody thinks that you’re in love with my brother.”
“That too,” I growled. “They think I’m in love with Beckett, and now I’m doing my best to dissuade that, we all are. It’s just going to complicate things. We’re in the same circles. My friends are your friends. My friends are your family. Us sleeping together and having a one-night stand or whatever the hell this was will hurt everybody in the end.” I didn’t realize I was crying, my voice going high-pitched, until Benjamin leaned forward and wiped the tears from the cheeks.
“Don’t cry,” he whispered.
“It’s these stupid hormones.”
He raised a brow.
I waved him off. “I’m on hormones because I want to get pregnant.”
“I’m glad we remembered the fucking condom,” he muttered.
I swallowed hard. “You’re already donating sperm to one person. I’m glad we didn’t decide to make it both.” I closed my eyes and groaned. “I suck at this. I don’t know how to talk to humans anymore. I’m awkward as fuck. I’m weird. I’m not very social, and I get grumpy. I don’t even know why I thought I could be a mom. I’m going to be like the worst parent ever because I just suck at being a human being. And here I am hurting you because I don’t know how to be a human being. I’m sorry. Last night was great. Seriously. Best sex ever.”
He just kept looking at me, blinking, and I kept going, knowing I might as well keep digging the hole for me to bury myself in.
“Seriously best sex ever. I’m not a virgin, not like Archer used to think for so long,” I grumbled.
Benjamin snorted. “Didn’t think you were a virgin. And I hope to hell you weren’t, considering what we did last night.”
“Drunk sex for my first time really wouldn’t have been a good thing. No, I’m not a virgin. I’m not in love with your brother. Yes, you and I had sex, but we were safe, and oh my God, I can’t believe that I’m having this conversation. My hormones are making me lose my mind.”
Benjamin leaned forward, gripped my chin, and brushed his lips along mine. I sank into him, sighing before I pulled myself back quickly. “What the hell was that? That’s not helping things.”
“Made you shut up, didn’t it?” he asked, laughter in his eyes.
I pushed at him slightly before I started laughing, this time the tears freely flowing. “I’m losing my mind.”
“You’re adding extra hormones to your system, so of course you’re going to feel like you’re losing your mind.” He let out a breath. “Let’s think about this rationally.”
“I’m not rational. That’s the point.”
“I’m the rational brother. We all know this.”
“We do,” I whispered.
“We had sex. Really fucking good sex. It’s not just on your end, Brenna. Best fucking sex ever. We won’t do it again. We got it out of our systems, and we’re going to be friends. You’re my friend Brenna. I’m the last single Montgomery of my family, and you’re the last single Garrett. We are going to remain who we are, even though I have seen all of your parts.”
“Thanks, that’s so romantic,” I said as I laughed.
He winked. “Well, you’ve seen my part as well.”
“Yes, I have,” I said, drawing out the words until I put my hands over my face and screamed. “See? We can’t do this.” I let my hands fall. “Everyone’s going to know.”
“So, no secrets then.”
“Am I a hypocrite? Horrible hypocrite.”
“I’m so good at messing things up, and I feel like that’s what I’m going to do with this.”
“Then we don’t mess it up. You and me? We’re friends. We go to your family reunion. We make sure your family has nothing to worry about, and then we come home, and we get back to business. I will donate my sperm. You will get sperm from someone else, and I will stop saying sperm in front of you.”
My lips twitched. “I don’t think you can make that promise,” I grumbled.
He laughed then, and the sound soothed me, even though it shouldn’t—damn hormones.
“I like you, Brenna. We’re going to figure this out.”
“And we’re not going to have sex again,” I said.
He looked at me then, swallowed hard, and nodded. “Never again.”
I did my best to hide the disappointment I shouldn’t be feeling at all.
Chapter 7
Benjamin
* * *
We pulled in front of a nice-looking home with decent landscaping. Brenna let out a breath as she put the car into park and looked over at me.
“I don’t want you to look at the garden in the backyard,” she blurted, and I blinked at her. Of all the things she could have said to me at that moment, and there were many things that we were not talking about and shouldn’t talk about, but really should talk about, that hadn’t been it.
“I was just thinking their landscaping looked nice.”
“It is, and they hire the neighborhood boy to mow the lawn, though soon I’m sure they’ll get one of the grandkids to do it.”
“That’s great,” I said sincerely.
“Only, with her garden? Mom likes to tinker. She tinkers, and then she kills things. Often. So then they try to bring it back to life, but they add more plants while they wait. It’s a jungle and a mess and way too much work for them, but they’re trying. Don’t give them help, or hints, or let them try to see what they should be doing to make their garden look like a professional cares about it.”
I shook my head, frowning. “Am I that person?” I asked, and she looked up at me.
“What person?”
“The person that judges random strangers. The person who’s going to judge the strangers that will let me stay in their home without warning. Am I that person?”
She cringed. “No. But I’m stressed out, and my mother is kind of notorious for the jungle that is her garden.”
“That’s fine. If she does ask for help, though, am I allowed to give it? Or should I just say she’s doing great?” I was a little worried and intrigued about what it could look like. I wanted to know. It wasn’t like I completely revamped every lawn I ever walked onto. That would take too much of my time, and I didn’t have time for that. As it was, I had multiple projects waiting for me when I got back, something that I was ignoring for now because we needed to be on the top of our games for this family reunion of hers. I didn’t think either one of us was truly there yet.
“You’re not that person. I’m sorry. I’m just freaking out over little things because I’m bringing a man to a family reunion. That’s not my date. And we haven’t…and I’m not even going to finish that statement.”
“It’s fine. We’re going to work it out.”
“Yes, we are,” she said quickly, as she nodded and looked towards the house. “I’m pretty sure we’re going to park in the back later, but they want us to come through the front door at first. So let’s make that happen.”
“Should I bring the bags now?”
She shook her head. “No, that’ll just hinder us.”
“I’ve got you.”
She looked at me then, and I wasn’t sure I should have said that.
“Let’s get inside,” she said. She gave me a tight nod, and I felt like we were gearing up for battle. Perhaps we were.
“Do you remember everyone’s names?” she asked as we got out of the SUV. She ran her hands over her body, and my mind went to where it shouldn’t. She gave me a look, and I knew she knew exactly where my thoughts had gone, but I did my best to ignore it. I was doing my best to ignore more than a few things today.
“I hope you at least wrote it down, because they’re going to know everything about you.” She frowned. “Or at least about Beckett.” She cringed, and I shook my head.
“You did tell them it was me coming, right?”
“Of course I did, but they get confused. Your family has a lot of twins.”
“We have two. Two sets of twins.”
“That’s a lot to a family that has none, which is a family of seven kids, without any twins. My poor mother.”
“And I thought our family was big.”
“You just have a lot more cousins than we do,” she muttered as we walked towards the front door. My hand brushed hers, and she pulled hers away quickly as if I had burned her. I ignored the feeling because we didn’t have time for it.
The door opened, and a woman that looked like Brenna in twenty years walked out, a big man behind her.
“Brenna, my darling. You’re finally here. We’ve missed you.”
Brenna’s mom came over quickly and kissed her daughter on the cheeks, taking her purse from her and handing it over to Brenna’s father. Brenna’s dad just rolled his eyes, kissed his daughter on the cheek hard before hugging her and glaring at me.
“So this is the new one,” he muttered.
Brenna groaned. “Dad.”
“What? You never bring boys home. You don’t give me chances to act like the big overbearing dad.”
“I’m sure you’ve had that all practiced out.”
“I thought you’d have gotten all of that out when you were dealing with her sisters.” Brenna’s mother turned to me. “Hello, I’m Teresa, this is Sam. We’re Brenna’s parents. And don’t listen to anything he has to tell you. He should have gotten his over-protective dad routine out of the way when Brenna’s three sisters were married. And honestly, when her brothers were married as well. Lots of marriages and babies in this family.” She grinned as she said it, though she did give Brenna a pointed look.
“Thanks, Mom,” she said. “Okay, let’s get inside before you guys start laying it on thick.”
“We would never. We’re just so excited that you’re here. And bringing a boy.”
“It’s nice to meet you both. I’m Benjamin,” I said, grateful I could even get a word in.
“Oh, we know all about you. Your Brenna’s best friend.”
“That’s Beckett, dear,” Sam said. “This is Benjamin. The other one. The twin. Didn’t realize they were so interchangeable.”
Brenna cringed. “Benjamin is also my friend. And he came out here to hang out with me.”
“Whatever you say, dear,” her mom said with a knowing glance.
Brenna narrowed her gaze at the three purses on the entryway table that belonged to her sisters, but quickly schooled her features when her mom looked around.
“I didn’t realize my sisters were here.”
“They wanted to be here with you. Your brothers are here too, but none of the spouses are.” Teresa looked over at me again. “We’re a lot all at once, and we didn’t want to overwhelm you if we started adding spouses and the babies. All of my children are having babies and just growing up, and it’s so wonderful, but the house gets quite full.”
She walked away, heading toward the noise from the living room, and Sam followed her.
I looked over at Brenna, who just shook her head. “Well, this is going to be fun.”
“Is it always like this?”
“Remember how I used to say that the way that your father treated you about work reminded me a lot of my family? Well, it has nothing to do with work, but all about my childbearing years.”
“But you’re planning on having a baby,” I whispered, doing my best to talk as quietly as I could so the others couldn’t hear.
She cringed. “I don’t know if my family is going to get on board with the whole doing that on my own thing, but we’re not going to talk about it with them, okay?”
“Of course not. You can trust me.”
“I know I can. It’s just, things got weird.”
We were standing alone in the hallway, and I didn’t think Teresa had even realized we hadn’t followed them, and it was tough to think when I could feel the heat of Brenna near me, the scent of her.
“Brenna? Benjamin? Where did you go?” Teresa asked.
I shook myself out of whatever I’d wanted to do. This was Brenna. Yes, we had had sex, but it had been a one-night stand, drunken sex. Drunk and consensual sex meant we were never going beyond what we were doing just then. It was never going to happen again, and I was never going to think about having sex with her again. Except all I could do was imagine how she had felt under me and the fact that I knew what that felt like. This trip was going to haunt my dreams forever. Fuck, it was going to haunt my waking memories.
How was I supposed to concentrate when she was just right there looking sexy as hell, and all I wanted to do was lean down and capture her lips with my own?
“Brenna,” Teresa called out, her voice a little harsher.
“Come on, we’re late,” she muttered, and I followed her towards the kitchen area. The house was an open concept, not unlike some of the floor plans that we built with Montgomery Builders, with a Garrett family touch to everything.
The kitchen looked well used, the appliances a little older, but the top of the line when they were bought.
It was a kitchen that people used, and since there was an extensive group of people standing in it, and in the nook beside it, I figured this is where people congregated often.
And here they all were, looking at me—most of them with Brenna’s eyes.
I didn’t realize how disconcerting that could be for others to see so many family members at once—people with their own memories, inside jokes, and connected lives.
How the hell had Brenna so easily melded with the Montgomerys? Because I knew we were probably a thousand times worse.
“Okay, you’re finally here. I’m sure you two just needed some privacy in the hallway,” Teresa said with a wink, and I knew Brenna was once again holding back a groan.
“Everybody, this is Benjamin. Benjamin, this is Joseph, Ellis, Carson, Josie, Connie, and Amelia,” she said quickly, rattling them off as if she had done it a thousand times. And she probably had.
“You’re never going to remember that.” If I remembered correctly, that was Josie. I knew she was the eldest daughter, the second oldest kid since the family primarily alternated boys and girls. She had four kids of her own and was pregnant again. Everyone looked pregnant, and now that I thought about it, Brenna had mentioned that the guys’ wives were also pregnant.
The amount of hormones was going to be ridiculous, but I wasn’t going to think about that.
Brenna also wanted a baby. As did my ex-girlfriend.
The themes of this weekend were babies and pregnancy. And I needed a fucking drink.
“Nice to meet everyone,” I said, not sure what else to say at all.
“You’re Beckett, right?” one of the girls said, and I heard Brenna curse under his breath.
“They just said his name was Benjamin. Beckett’s his twin.”
“I didn’t realize you could date twins,” the youngest one said, and if I remembered right, that was Amelia.
