The shakespeare sisters.., p.99
The Shakespeare Sisters--The Complete Box Set, page 99
‘She’s fearless. So yeah, nothing like me at all.’
‘You don’t think you’re fearless?’
She shook her head. ‘I’m the complete opposite. Nearly everything scares me.’
‘You moved to a strange country when you were twenty. That sounds pretty fearless.’
‘I was blinded by love.’ She said it deadpan, making him laugh.
‘What about being a single mom? That takes guts.’
‘It takes having no other choice.’
They were at a stoplight. He glanced at her, and she saw herself reflected in the mirrors of his sunglasses.
‘There’s always a choice. You could have stayed with him. You could have gone home to London and left Poppy behind. You could have done so many things, but you chose to stay and fight for your kid. That takes guts.’
There was the strangest feeling in her chest, as though a hundred butterflies had come to life, fluttering their wings inside her ribcage. Behind her, Poppy and Charlie were still chatting, this time about their worm farm.
‘Keep telling me that, and I might just start to believe you.’
‘You should believe me. I grew up with parents who did nothing but think of themselves. That’s the coward’s way out.’
It was as though he was revealing little parts of himself, piece by piece, and she was doing the same. Every time they were together the armour was coming off, revealing vulnerable skin that could so easily be pierced. She’d never felt so comfortable and so exposed at the same time.
He steered the car through the gates to the parking lot, pulling into a space facing the harbour. The water was lapping against the side of the boardwalk, the moored boats gently rising and falling with its movement. As soon as they stepped out of the car there was tranquillity to the air that surprised Juliet. The only times she’d been here before was for dinner cruises – when the whole boardwalk was full of chatter and expensive voices.
Not now, though. It was as though somebody had put a little spell on the river, holding back the flow of years and progress. It was timeless in its beauty.
‘Is that your boat?’ Poppy asked, pointing at a tiny fishing vessel. ‘Can we even fit on there?’
‘That’s not our boat.’ Charlie looked almost offended. Then his face softened as he pointed over to a large sailing boat moored up by the pier. ‘That’s Miss Maisie. Our boat.’
For a moment he looked so much like his father, he took Juliet’s breath away. The same piercing eyes, the same expression of wonderment. It wasn’t difficult to imagine Ryan as a child, playing on these planks, climbing over the boats and getting up to all kinds of mischief.
The man himself had climbed out and was unloading the back of his car, pulling out two bags and slinging them over his shoulder. Then he led the way to the jetty, reaching out to slow Poppy down as she sped along the gangplank.
An old man was waiting for them by the side of Miss Maisie, a blue cap pulled down on his head where a few wispy grey curls escaped from beneath. He looked at Juliet with interest, as if he was trying to place her.
‘Hey Stan,’ Ryan said, reaching for the old man’s hand. ‘She looks perfect. Thanks for getting her ready at such short notice.’
‘You always were the impulsive one,’ Stan told him. ‘And I see you each brought a lady along. Remember to keep the language clean on there, young Charlie.’
Charlie giggled, making Poppy laugh too. The two of them stood stock still as Ryan slid their life jackets on, fastening them firmly as he gave them instructions on how to behave on the boat. Then he passed a larger life jacket to Juliet, smiling as she struggled to tighten the straps across her body. He reached out, putting his hands over hers, gently guiding her as the jacket became firm against her body.
‘You ready?’ he murmured, dragging his own lifejacket on.
‘I’m ready,’ she told him. And she was. Ready to get on the deck, to feel the air lifting her hair. To put the distance between them she needed, because right here, right now, she was a hair’s breadth from wanting to run her palms all over those tight biceps of his.
‘So what are we waiting for?’ Poppy asked impatiently. ‘Christmas?’
A few minutes later, Stan was throwing the rope to Juliet as Ryan steered the boat out from the jetty. She coiled it around her hand and arm, the way he’d shown her, before hooking it onto the side in a large loop. Ryan called out instructions to her as they reached the open water, smiling at her as she tried to follow them as best she could. Even when she stumbled on the deck, all he did was give her the once over with his eyes, satisfied she was okay.
It didn’t take long for the boat to work its magic on her. Feeling the air rushing over the deck, and the almost magical sensation of floating on the water, was enough to make her heart pound in the best kind of way. She could see the same response in Poppy and Charlie, as they sat on the deck the way Ryan had shown them, their eyes tightly closed as the wind blasted their faces.
‘You okay?’ Ryan mouthed at her. She nodded, a smile curving her lips. It was impossible to feel anything else right then. She felt exposed. Free of everything she’d left behind on the wharf. It was just the four of them and the water, and right then nothing else mattered.
No wonder he loved the sense of freedom he got from being on the open bay. It was as if anything was possible. She felt the sudden desire for them to keep sailing until they reached the horizon line, and to disappear from sight. To reach the ocean and keep on going, until they sailed into some foreign land.
‘How old were you when you learned to sail?’ she shouted, her words half-swallowed by the hissing wind.
‘I can’t remember. My grandpa started to take me out pretty much as soon as I could walk. I kind of grew up knowing how to sail just by watching him, the way other kids grow up knowing how to sing or dance. Of all the things I left behind when I moved away, I think I missed this old gal the most.’ He tapped his hand against the wheel.
‘You look like a man in love,’ she teased.
‘You can’t help but fall in love with Maisie,’ he said. ‘She has this irresistible lure. You watch out, you’ll be falling at her feet before too long.’
He’d pulled his sunglasses over his head, trying to keep his hair from blowing in his face. Even with the distance between them, she could see the sun sparkling in his eyes.
‘She’s very seductive,’ Juliet agreed. ‘It’s like she’s making all these promises. Whispering that she can take you on adventures and journeys you’ll never believe. It’s hypnotic.’
Ryan laughed. ‘She’s a siren all right. She entranced my grandpa and then turned her magic on me.’ He inclined his head at Charlie and Poppy, who were talking excitedly, their hands gripping the rail the way Ryan had shown them. ‘I think he might be falling for her, too.’
‘It would be hard not to,’ Juliet said. ‘Hard not to fall for the beauty of this bay, either. Do you know I’ve lived here for six years, and the only time I’ve been out on a boat has been in the evening.’
‘What kind of boat?’
‘The kind of boat that you have to dress up for. Full of tuxedos and shiny dresses. Where deals are done below decks, and the surroundings are only secondary.’
‘That’s no way to experience this bay.’
She caught his eye. He was staring at her with a mixture of interest and pity.
‘I can see that now.’
She was starting to see a lot of things differently since she’d left Thomas.
It was beginning to look breathtakingly beautiful.
‘You can hop down.’ Ryan climbed out of the dingy and into the shallow water, pulling the small boat to the shore. He held his hands out for Poppy, and Juliet helped her climb to standing in the still-rocky boat, lifting her daughter up and passing her to Ryan. The two of them swished their way through the water, their trousers rolled up, laughing as the spray splashed up at them.
When both Poppy and Charlie were safely on shore, Ryan turned back to Juliet. She was wearing a pair of jeans – rolled up to reveal her slim ankles and bare feet, her shoes tied together and looped over her shoulder. The light shirt she was wearing was unbuttoned, blowing in the breeze, revealing the thin T-shirt beneath. Every curve of her body was visible, slim and lithe. She was breathtaking.
‘You need some help, London?’ he asked, trying – and failing – to keep his voice light. Instead it came out rough, as though it was being dragged out of his throat. He didn’t wait for her to answer, stepping forward and wrapping his hands around her tiny waist. The feel of her warmth against his palms made his whole body tingle in a way he hadn’t felt in years.
He watched her swallow, the tight skin of her throat bobbing up and down. Then she rested her hands on his shoulders, bracing herself against him as he lifted her up. She felt light as air. For a moment he wanted to pull her against him, feel her legs wrapping around his waist. The urge was almost too overwhelming, making him forget where he was, what he was doing, who he was with.
‘There you go,’ he said softly, gently releasing her into the water. Her hands still stayed on his shoulders for a moment, soft and warm. They were an arm’s length from each other, and it seemed too far. ‘Let’s go join the kids,’ he suggested. ‘It’s cold in here. I packed a blanket as well as the food.’
They spent the morning exploring the tiny island, helping the children sort through the pebbles, looking for the perfect stone. Ryan told them the stories his grandfather had told him, about the pirates who had hidden their loot in the caves here, stealing from the English ships and selling the black market goods to the desperate colonials who’d made their home on this wild coast. He kept an eye on Juliet as he spoke, claiming London had it coming after all the taxes they’d put on the food they’d exported.
She’d stuck out her tongue in response, making him laugh out loud.
Later, when their stomachs began to rumble after an hour of playing in the sand and pebbles, he pulled out the food; thick sandwiches full of ham and cheese, with bags of chopped fruit and trail mix for desert. Ryan trained his camera on the ragtag group, watching the three of them laughing and talking through the glass of his lens. He’d taken photographs of the kids, of their pebbles, of the way they laughed so abandoned and free. And then he’d turned his viewfinder onto Juliet herself, catching her completely unawares as he took close-ups of the freckles that trailed across the bridge of her nose. He was fascinated by the way the soft skin behind her knee folded together as she crouched in front of the picnic blanket.
He wasn’t going to develop them – not these intimate shots – but there was so much beauty in her form that he couldn’t help wanting to frame it.
As if she could feel the heat of the lens as he trained it on her, she slowly turned, a small smile playing on her lips. Though the breeze was light, it still managed to lift the tendrils that framed her face, until the strands were dancing against her skin in a rhythm of their own.
‘Are you taking pictures of me?’ she asked.
‘No.’
‘Liar. Let me see.’ She stood up and cleared the space between them, reaching for the camera he had slung around his neck.
‘It’s an SLR, there’s nothing to see.’
‘You don’t take digital photographs?’ she questioned.
‘I do when I’m working,’ he said, still holding tightly to the hard plastic case of his camera, even though she wasn’t reaching for it any more. ‘But when I’m taking photos for pleasure, I still like to use this old thing. I like being able to develop the film, to watch it come to life. There’s something amazing about the way the image slowly shows itself on the paper.’
‘That sounds fascinating. I’d love to see how it works.’
She was smiling again, and he decided he liked that more than he could say. In the weeks since he’d met her – on that embarrassing day at the school – she hadn’t smiled a whole lot. Maybe that’s why earning a curve of her lips felt like he’d hit the jackpot.
Maybe that’s why he’d felt the need to capture it on camera, too.
‘I’ll show you some time,’ he said, making a mental note to get rid of the more embarrassing frames. ‘But in the meantime, I need to get you back to the wharf. I made a promise I wouldn’t interfere with your job, and I plan to keep it.’
‘Is it that time already?’ She looked almost disappointed. ‘I didn’t realise it was getting so late.’
He could hear regret in her tone, and he liked it very much. Liked the thought that she was having a good time with him. She was like a flower slowly unfurling from a closed-up bud, and it was going to be beautiful when she finally bloomed.
And if he was being really honest, he wanted to be there when she did.
9
For my part, I may speak it to my shame,
I have a truant been to chivalry;
and so I hear he doth account me too
– Henry IV Part I
‘I hear you took Poppy out on a boat last Saturday. I don’t remember you asking me about it first,’ Thomas said. He was standing at the door, his arms folded across his chest. His tailored jacket was tight across his shoulders. Had he put a little weight on? Strange how she still noticed things like that.
‘We just went out for a couple of hours. She had a lovely time.’
‘With Ryan Sutherland, or so they say.’
There was an edge to his voice she didn’t quite understand. She looked up at him, taking in his face. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes narrow.
Was he jealous? Surely he couldn’t be. He had Nicole, after all. If anybody was entitled to be jealous it was Juliet.
And yet she didn’t feel jealous. Not at all.
‘That’s right,’ she said, trying to keep her voice light. She really didn’t want every meeting to end in an argument. ‘He’s moved in next door.’
A look of surprise. Aha! So maybe he didn’t know everything.
Thomas glanced back over his shoulder, frowning as he took in the house to the left of her bungalow. ‘He lives there?’ he asked abruptly. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘I didn’t think anything of it,’ she said. Though her voice was calm, her heart was starting to pound. ‘What does it matter anyway?’
‘Anything to do with our daughter is a concern to me. And I don’t like the thought of her being around Ryan Sutherland, not one little bit. The man’s little more than a drifter. Did you know he left his family behind without a word to go travelling, yet still expected them to keep the business going? They even pay him dividends every year though he does nothing to deserve them.’
‘Isn’t that how business works? Shareholders receive dividends. It happens the world over.’
‘He’s always been unreliable. Even at school he let people down.’ His eyes narrowed, as though his thoughts were drifting back twenty years. ‘I don’t like you spending time with him.’
‘But you don’t get to decide who I spend time with any more. We’re separated, remember?’
Thomas winced. ‘But not divorced. We’re still married.’
She felt her chest tighten. She could remember the day she and Poppy had left to move into the bungalow. Thomas had asked her to stay, to try again. But the pain of his betrayal had been too much to bear.
‘Maybe you should move back onto the estate,’ Thomas said, catching her eye. ‘We could renovate one of the old cottages for you and Poppy.’
‘I don’t think—’
He reached out, touching her arm with the tip of his fingers. ‘Just hear me out. I know what I did was terrible. And I know I broke your heart. But if you came back – even if we didn’t live together – it would be so much better for all of us.’
He looked so earnest, it took her by surprise. ‘Not for me. We’re happy here,’ she told him. ‘And anyway, what would Nicole say if we moved back?’
‘I don’t know. I haven’t asked her.’
She took a step back, folding her arms across her chest. ‘Well before you make an offer like that, maybe you should. I remember what it’s like having your life turned upside down without being consulted.’ And yes, Nicole had been involved too, but that didn’t mean that it was her fault. It was Thomas who’d been the married one.
Thomas raked his hand through his hair. ‘I messed up, I know I did. And I’m paying for it, too. You think I like this? Only seeing my daughter at the weekends? Finding out that you’ve been spending time with other men from gossips at the club?’
What the hell did he think was going to happen when he started his affair with Nicole? This conversation was going nowhere, the way all their conversations seemed to go. ‘I need to go,’ she said, stepping back inside the house. ‘I have to cook dinner.’
‘I just wanted to ask you something.’ Thomas lingered on the porch.
‘What?’
‘Can you have Poppy ready on Friday? We’re going away for the weekend.’
‘You are?’
‘It’s Nicole’s birthday. We’re going to the beach house for the weekend. The Fratellis are going, and so are the Simons, in fact most of our friends will be there. Poppy will enjoy it, I’m sure.’
Of course she would. Poppy loved the beach, and she loved the huge, wooden house that had been in the Marshalls’ hands for generations. They’d spent most of their summers there before… before…
Before their whole world had been shaken inside out.
Every time a memory hit, Juliet’s heart broke a little more for her child. It was her daughter who was paying the price. She’d had so much stolen from her already, and she didn’t even know it. Juliet was damned if she was going to let her child lose any more. Which was why she was going to keep things civil, even if it killed her.
‘I’ll have her ready,’ she said quietly. ‘What time will you be picking her up?’
‘I’ll pick her up from school. Can you send her suitcase in with her?’
‘Of course.’ Thomas had been an awful husband, but he was a good father, and she was grateful for that. Poppy was surrounded by love on all sides. She’d never feel lost or alone, the way Juliet had after her mother died. She’d never have to be the one singled out because her father was perpetually late.
