Facing me, p.9
Facing Me, page 9
Walking over to Aiden, who is now slumped over in a chair, I kick his boot. “Let’s go.” I bite out, making him jump. His eyes meet mine; pain and regret filling his face, cutting me deep. I take in his battered and cut face. His sexy mouth is split in one corner, and a decent stream of blood is trickling down his cheek from the gash above his eyebrow. Right now, I want nothing more than to hold him so he knows it is okay. But. It’s. Not. That voice inside my head keeps telling me to do my job. Which job? Do I do my job as their manager, or as his girl who wants nothing more than to protect him? Do I let him have it for making a scene or do I try to get to the root of this shit once and for all? Part of me was worried that this was all about me being here. Now, I’m not so sure. Abby said Aiden was fighting before the show last week. Aiden doesn’t do that shit…that’s always Hunter. That is why Henry always stays on him like a damn shadow. Even when shit went crazy with Landon and Tad; the only time Aiden lost his cool was when Landon put his hands on me. He was completely in control at every second and aware of what he was doing. This is a whole new thing for me. “Aiden, I’m taking you back to the hotel. Let’s go.” I say again, holding out my hand.
He looks at my fingers as if I’ve just extended an olive branch or a stay of execution, and maybe I have. Maybe this is the first step in getting back to us. By showing Aiden that it’s okay to let someone else pick up the pieces when he can’t, it may give him that something I can tell is missing in his eyes. I’d already figured a long time ago there were things in Aiden that came from dark, troubled shit in his past. I just never asked, he never shared, and it got buried in the pile of shit we never dealt with. I’m guessing, now, a lot of that pile will have to be sorted through.
Aiden pushes roughly to his feet and takes my hand. Without a word, I lead us out of the bar with a final wave to Daisy, who is now wrapped around Gray on the dance floor. Once Aiden and I are tucked into a cab, I give the name of the hotel to the driver. I look at the love of my life, curled away from me against the window, staring at the street lights. Seeing him like this makes my heart hurt. The beating in my chest does nothing but keep my blood pumping. My heart, however, has been with this man since I met him. Now that I’m sitting beside him, more broken than I’ve ever imagined he could be, I feel like I have to force myself to breathe for the both of us. If I concentrate on both of us, then we will make it through this, to the other side. I have to make Aiden realize that I am here and not going anywhere. Why should he believe you Cam? You left before…you’ll leave again. “No. I. Won’t.” I shout before realizing I had opened my mouth.
Aiden’s entire body goes rigid at my outburst. Reaching out, I grab his hand, lacing our fingers. "Sorry." I mumble nervously. The tension pours off his body; filling the cab so thick I swear I can taste it. I expect him to yank his hand free, to ignore me, but he doesn't.
To my surprise, Aiden faces me and pulls me into his arms. He buries his face in my hair, inhaling my scent. Aiden's breathing is erratic, his chest heaving with pent up adrenaline from the club. His fingers stroke my back slowly, tapping out an unknown rhythm as they move along my body. I blow out the breath I've been holding since the club, when I came out of the bathroom. Allowing myself to become his instrument, as I have many times before; but this time it's different. It's not sexual. It's intimate, comforting, and whether I know it or not, it's what we both need right now. Who am I to deny him that, or myself for that matter?
My body relaxes, melting into him, earning me a sigh from his lips. "That's my girl." He coos; I can't help the smile that spreads across my face.
No words are said the rest of the ride to the hotel. I can’t decide if that is good or bad; but it feels so good to be back in Aiden’s arms that I don’t care if he talks to me right now. All too soon the ride is over, which means the time in his arms is over as well. I toss a fifty at the driver just in time for Aiden to pull me from the car. “I need a drink.” He blurts, pulling me through the revolving door.
“I think that’s the last thing you need tonight, Aiden.” I murmur, looking at my watch, “I mean, this morning.” Taking a deep breath, I yank my hand from his. Those dark brown eyes watching me carefully, trying to gauge my mood. Aiden could always read my body; sometimes my mind. At times we were so in sync that he could tell me what I was going to do without any words at all. The connection between us is intense and terrifying at times, but it is the most stable thing I have ever known. I was never afraid of Aiden; what scared me was losing him after giving him all of me. Something that I’ve never fully done with anyone.
“Why are you even here, Cam? I’m a little old for a babysitter.” He bites out, slapping the elevator button.
“I’m not sure what you need, Aiden, but I can tell you a swift kick to the balls might do you some good right now. Stop being such an asshole to everyone. What the fuck did anyone ever do to you?”
The anger in my voice makes him smile. Just as the doors to the elevator open, Aiden shoves me inside, pinning me between him and the wall. With his free hand he slaps a number for his floor, and then cups my jaw. A gasp is lodged in my throat, Aiden smirks down at me knowingly, “Oh you’ve done plenty baby. It’s time we got back to things that make fuckin’ sense.”
Aiden’s lips hover just out of my reach. It takes all of my restraint not to reach onto my toes in hopes that he will take my mouth. I want nothing more than to go back to what we had, but I know neither of us are the people we were then. Things are different now and he needs to know that.
“Aiden, I can’t go back to what we had before because I’m not her anymore.” I pant out between ragged breaths, making him chuckle.
His finger strokes over my bottom lip; my tongue darts out, stealing a taste of all it has missed in these last few months. Aiden’s eyes flutter closed, and reopen hooded and full of hunger. “Camaron, that much I do know.” He says surely. “I also know that I’m not the same man you walked away from. Another thing I know is the more I tried to forget you, the more you fuckin’ haunted me. You’re my heart, my baseline, and you never fade away. What the fuck does that tell you Cam? I need you. Any. Way. You. Come.” He replies, biting out each word in desperation, then slams his mouth to mine.
Aiden’s hands dive into my hair, holding my face to his. As if I could go anywhere even if I wanted to. My knees nearly crumple beneath me, giving Aiden the perfect chance to wrap my legs around his hips. Pulling my head back, he trails kisses down my throat before biting lightly along my shoulder. “I’ve missed you so much Cam. You have no idea.” He pants as the doors open.
Without sitting me down, he walks down the hall to what I assume is his suite and slides the cardkey. Shoving through the door, he walks down the hall to the smaller spare bedroom. “Can’t fuck you on the bed in the master bedroom, Henry and Hunter made a mess of that room with a groupie.”
I barely have time to nod before we are falling back onto the bed in a tangle of arms and legs. Fingers greedily exploring the familiar, while our moans echo off the walls. I didn’t come back here with him expecting this. My plan had been to settle him in followed by leaving with my dignity still intact. Instead, I’m writhing beneath Aiden’s body as his clothes start flying across the room; both of us desperate to be skin to skin. “Aiden…” I plead, once he yanks my dress over my head leaving me naked beneath him. Aiden nips along my chest, between my aching breasts. Please, Aiden, I can’t wait any longer.
“God, Cam. I’ve missed this. Every single woman I’ve seen since you left me has been you. Every time, all I saw was you.” He says, running his tongue around my navel.
Aiden’s words are ice water on my libido. I shove at his shoulders with both hands, my chest heaving. “No. Aiden, stop.” I huff, scrambling to the side of the bed.
His eyes widen in confusion. “What’s wrong?” He asks, moving up the bed toward me, but I can’t speak. He’s been fucking women this whole time and here I thought he was as unable to function like me. He obviously didn’t need me that badly then did he? “Cam, what’s wrong baby?” He asks again, worry etched all over his face.
My stomach is churning, my fists clenched tightly into balls. Aiden reaches out running his fingertips along my arm tenderly, but all I can think about is them. The other fucking women. Those random pieces of pussy in every damn town tempting him, making him just like Hunter. Just like every other goddamn man I’ve ever dealt with in my life. Making me feel unworthy once I start speaking up for myself, all while they move on to the greener fucking grass. Well that settles this shit.
Before I can stop to think another thought, I slap Aiden across the face, his jaw dropping in shock. Jumping up from the bed, I yank on his t-shirt and snatch up my dress and shoes. “After everything that you said to me, you just let your dick try to fuck away all that I supposedly meant to you, huh?” I bite out angrily. Throwing my stiletto, it crashes into the nightstand, knocking a lamp to the floor with a crash. “Yeah, I told you to live your life. I understand the limelight you live in, Aiden, I really do. All the temptation was why I tried to let you go in Vegas.” Walking toward the door, I swipe at the tear that escaped. I don’t want to be so hurt. I all but told him to tap groupies and move on didn’t I? “Maybe, I didn’t think it would hurt so badly because I never expected to know about it. Now, it hurts knowing that you moved on and I couldn’t. It crushes my fucking heart to know that I couldn’t get out of bed, or even listen to the radio in fear of hearing one of your songs. Here you were, out grabbing beers and random twat like it’s just another regular Saturday night.” Aiden’s face falls, but I am in no mood to feel sorry for him now.
“Cam, you don’t understand. You left me, I…” He starts to explain, but it only makes me angrier. My other shoe barely misses his head, rage coursing through my veins.
“You. Told. Me. To. LEAVE!” I shout. Walking over, I get inches from his face, my finger pressing against his chest. “You said you loved me Aiden. You wanted me to fight for you. What the fuck about me, huh? Here I am, ready to fight and for what? You gave up the moment it got too hard for you. Just the big, bad Dom who didn’t want a broken woman.”
“Fuck you, Cam.” He spits, pushing to his feet, forcing me to take a step back. “You don’t know shit if that’s what you think. I’ve given you more than I have given anybody else, ever.”
I am so angry right now that my blood is roaring in my ears. “I know that I had my chance to move on, but I couldn’t take it.” I shout back, shoving him. Even after drinking all night, he doesn’t budge.
Aiden just laughs, “With who?” He asks pointing toward the door, “That fucker? Shit, Cam, he’ll never be enough for you.”
“I guess I’ll never know.” I whisper, turning for the door.
“Why Cam?” He asks, desperately grabbing at my arms, silently begging me not to leave. Aiden turns me so that I’m flush against his body, reminding me that he is still naked, the only barrier between us is his ratty SHAFT t-shirt covering me. “Answer me, Cam, now.” He says more commandingly this time, sending a shiver down my spine, dominance oozing out of every pore of his body.
“Because, Aiden, no one will ever be you.” I choke out before bursting into tears and burying my face into his bare chest. Strong arms encircle me, settling us back on the bed as I continue to cry. “I want to hate you Aiden, but I love you so much it hurts. The only person I want to hate more than you is me, for walking away in the first place.” Pulling the blanket over us, Aiden settles us on a pillow, so that we are as close as possible.
“Ssh baby. I’m so sorry.” He croons, his long fingers running through my hair. “I’m not letting you go again, no matter what happens. You’re it for me Cam, all I want.” He whispers. Eventually, my sobs slow, and my eyes begin to droop. The exhaustion from flying and everything that has happened today is settling in, but I fight to stay awake. Desperate to listen to the sound of his voice, “Even if I don’t deserve you, I’m not losing you again.” I hear him choke out before kissing my hair; I fall asleep wrapped in Aiden, secretly hoping he is right this time.
Chapter Seven
Ladies and Gentlemen, The Shaft Street Boys.
*Aiden*
I feel Cam’s breath even out, letting me know that she is finally asleep. I can’t believe things went the way they did tonight. After my fight with Luke, I figured she would load up and go with him back to Vegas. After kissing Cam, I lost all control. There was nothing anyone could have done to stop me, I want that fucker gone and the few punches I got in were nothing compared to what I had planned. I was never a person that just explodes, but lately I have no patience for stupid people fucking with my life. The band, the people on our bus; Cam, that’s what matters. When Luke instantly went to her before I could, I saw fucking red. Again. The whole time they talked, I watched like a hawk preparing to make my move if necessary. He would not take her from me, not when I am just getting her back. Then, Cam not only came with me but tore into me. She put me in my place alright. I lost control. That’s the only explanation for what happened. If she hadn’t stopped me when she did, I have no doubt I would have plowed through her as usual. Then when she crawled up the bed I saw it, her tattoo.
Camaron’s skin was flawless and untouched by ink, until now. That is a helluva tatt for a first too. The orange blossoms run nearly the length of her entire side, with some script I couldn’t read. Jealousy pulses in my veins at the thought of that fucker putting his hands on her body, while he spent hours detailing that piece. The fact that he touched what is mine, for hours on end, makes me want to go find him and give him another dose of what I gave him at the club. Just so that he will know he will never touch her again.
Shifting the covers, I pull the shirt up over her hips. Seeing Cam sleeping in my bed, wearing my shirt, stirs something primal and possessive in me. If she thinks I’m letting her walk away again, she’s wrong. Her breath tickles against my chest as she breathes, I couldn’t imagine moving her. This feels too right. Having Camaron here with me now, feels like home. Her ink comes into view. Urgently, I want to kiss every inch of it. I never took the time to worship Cam as she deserves, but I plan to remedy that as soon as possible. For fucking days, if necessary. My fingers brush down the words along her side: ‘For The One To Whom I Belong’. The words are a shock to my system. Did she get this tattoo for me, or for Luke? I shake my head, reminding myself that I know already. Cam’s words from earlier echo in my head so loud that I could swear she is speaking them all over again.
“No one will ever be you”
“I want to hate you Aiden, but I love you so much it hurts.”
“You gave up on me the moment it got too hard for you.”
The truth hurts like a cold, hard, slap to the face. She’s right. The minute she said she loved me, I told her to leave, because she didn’t love herself. Only now, I realize that I made her go through all of that pain alone. I should have been there for her during it all. Now, she can’t trust me. I fucked another woman; that hurt her worse than I ever imagined it would. I could try and explain the emotional detachment I had with her and even those I tried to have sex with and failed to, but what’s the use? She always felt an emotional connection when we were together, from day one, so did I.
I have so much to make up to Camaron before I can ever ask her to take me back. First, she needs to know what she’s getting into. Cam deserves to know the shit that I keep buried; the things I never talk about. Not even Hunter and I talk about our life before Henry saved us that night. Forcing my thoughts out of my head, I settle against Cam and cover us again with the blanket. Brushing a kiss to her lips, I make a promise that I will be the man she deserves, if it fucking kills me.
***
“Aiden! Oh, Mr. Heavyweight Pussy Puncher. Wake up, wake up, wherever you are!” I hear the irritation in his voice, but I ignore him, snuggling deeper into her warmth. She’s here with me; I don’t want to come out of this dream. Ever. “Come on, you stupid, impulsive fucker, we don’t have time for you to beat your meat again. Get the hell up, jerk a knot in it, and let’s get to the studio!” Hunter shouts from the hallway.
Groaning, I open my eyes and meet the most beautiful face I’ve ever laid eyes on. Her features soften and she smiles at me sleepily. “Good morning, I think we have company.” I murmur as Hunter’s singing echoes down the hallway. My eyes drift to her mouth, a smile creeping across her face. All I want to do is stay here all day and kiss that smile off of her face, among other things.
Leaning down, I kiss her lips softly, telling myself that even though I want fast and hard; Cam deserves slow and cherishing. My hand cups her jaw so that I can deepen the kiss. Tenderly, I stroke my tongue along hers, my other hand possessively gripping the script along her ribs. Pushing the shirt up, I kiss along the black lettering, making Cam tremble. “Do you belong to me, Cam? Or have I lost you?” I ask, fear dripping from every word. I’ve never been so scared in my life of a simple yes or no answer.
Leaning up, she meets my eyes, the seconds feeling like days while I run my fingers along her skin. Then she shatters every thought in my head, “Aiden, I could never belong to anyone else. It’s only been you. I just don’t know if we can ever make it work.”
“I wanna lay you down in a bed of dildos.” The singing gets closer, making me tense. “Oh, look at the sexiness right here.” Hunter says from the door, that next time I will fucking padlock. Walking over, he flops onto the enormous bed next to us, sprawling his legs wide. I yank the shirt down to cover Cam’s body from his perverted eyes. “I’ll bet it was hot as hell in here last night, Duchess.” He says, fanning himself like a drama queen. “Please tell me you scream baby; Aiden really needs a screamer. It’s good for his ego.” Hunter teases, slapping me on the ass.
