A lick of flame, p.18
A Lick of Flame, page 18
My cock stands tall just thinking of her wanton and needy. Of Maya giving herself with complete abandon. I think of how her legs would feel wrapped around my waist. Of how she would sound in the throes of ecstasy. I would love to see her eyes filled with wonder and delight as I pulled her first orgasm from her.
Hell’s teeth, now my balls are tight and throbbing.
Need, the likes of which I have never felt before, unfurls inside me. I wade into the pool, turning as the water hits mid-thigh. I see the smallest movement behind one of the bushes as Maya ducks out of sight.
My mouth twitches, but I hold back a smile. Only just.
Perhaps she is not as timid as I thought. I look away from where she was just standing. I can practically feel her eyes on me. My cock is fully erect. Need and desire burn through my veins.
She’s watching me.
She’s watching.
My skin prickles.
Perhaps she isn’t a delicate rosebud. Perhaps she is more of a flower waiting, no begging, to be plucked. Disappointment hits, since it won’t be me doing the plucking. It can’t be me, even if it would be a simple solution to our problems.
If I bedded Maya, there would be consequences. There always are. They’re consequences I don’t want or need. Not right now.
I’m not sure what possesses me when I grip my cock in my hand. Perhaps I’m trying to quell this need. Or… I don’t know. I grip my cock firmly in my hand and groan softly. I want to go to her right now. I want to… No!
Her eyes are burning into me; I can feel them. The thought of her watching heats my blood even more.
I start to tug on my cock in easy strokes. Kakara help me, but this is wrong in all ways. I’m sure I hear a gasp. It’s ever so soft, but there.
It’s her.
Maya.
She’s watching me take my pleasure.
I should turn around, finish in the water where she can’t see me. I should stop this madness, but I can’t. I want her to see me. To see what thoughts of her do to me, even if she doesn’t know it or understand it. Maya is a grown woman. She’s the one watching me. She’ll choose to stay…or she’ll choose to look away…maybe even to run away. It will be up to her.
I use a bead of pre-cum to wet my shaft; my hand slides up and down and up and down. I picture her face. Those lush breasts bouncing in time to my thrusts. I want her so badly…more than my next breath. If I can’t have her, then this will be the next best thing.
Her channel would be slick and tight…oh so damned tight.
I groan, my hand working faster. I see her face, hear her breathing, feel her tighten around me.
Then I am coming in hot, hard bursts into the water. I crunch a little over my middle and groan deep. I don’t hold back; there is no point since she is watching me. I don’t need to keep quiet. I want her to hear me. I stroke out my orgasm, thinking of her the whole time. Her face, her smile, her eyes, and her laughter.
I finally release my cock. I’m breathing hard. My shaft is still hard because I’m not nearly satisfied. Not even close. There is only one thing that would satisfy me. It’s the one thing I can’t have.
I glance her way, turning all the way around so that she can get a good look at me. I know she is still watching. I turn away.
Hell’s teeth!
I can’t help but to burn with shame. I am just as bad as the others, lusting after her like this.
What in Hades is wrong with me?
I wade into deeper water. I drop below the cold surface. I work hard at washing away the dirt, not just on my skin but in my head, too. I need to push aside any thoughts of her. Of Maya. Although, I’m sure she won’t want me after witnessing that.
26
Maya
I can barely catch my breath. I’m burning up inside. On the outside, too. My skin feels too tight. I don’t feel like I fit inside my own body, and everything is tightly coiled and ready to break open. Like an overburdened dam after a heavy rain.
There is this throbbing between my legs. I realize with a start that I want to be touched there like Orion was touching himself. I want to be touched like that. I want to feel like that. I want this heat to be doused. I want…I want…him, and so badly I can barely take in air.
By the gods, no! Just no!
My breath is coming in ragged pants like I just ran a hundred furlongs. What in Kakara’s name possessed me? Why did I watch? Why?
Perhaps because he invited me to. He said he didn’t care either way. I found myself rooted to the spot and unable to leave. Unable to look away. I don’t think he meant for me to watch that, something so intimate and private.
I put a hand over my mouth, trying hard to still my breathing and my racing heart.
The fae is beautiful. I’ll give him that. From his stubbled jaw to his broad shoulders, right down to his tapered waist. Even that part of him is beautiful. The part he stroked with such fervor.
The noises he made… Kakara help me. The way his face pinched in…in sheer pleasure. My sex throbs harder.
No!
I squeeze my thighs together, but it does nothing to stop the raging need. If anything, the friction makes it worse.
That deep groan he made…and then there was his seed. The way it spurted from him in thick rivulets. His belly tightened, his muscles rippled, his hand worked faster and faster. I should have been disgusted, but I wasn’t. I was mesmerized. Enthralled to my core.
I want to watch him some more. I am a voyeur. A peeping Tom.
I start walking away as he wades deeper into the water. I need to try to clear my head. I know not to go too far. I try to take in the beauty of my surroundings, but I am too stuck inside my own head to do it. I fan myself with my hands. Only when I feel halfway to normal, do I go back to the clearing.
I sigh with relief when I find Orion fully dressed. His hair is still wet, reminding me of… No! I must forget it ever happened. This isn’t me at all.
He is preparing a fire for later. I note that our bedrolls are ready, too.
“There are no biting creatures,” he says, looking tense.
I can barely look at him. I’m a terrible person. How could I have done such a thing? To have spied on him like that.
“Good news,” I mutter.
“I will leave you to wash.”
“Thank you.” I glance his way but don’t hold his gaze. I can’t. I don’t think that I will ever be able to look at him the same way again. Does he know? Can he see it on my face?
No, that’s silly.
I push out a breath I didn’t know I was holding when Orion walks away. For a moment, I picture him hiding and watching, just like I hid and watched him. I find that the thought makes me feel warm instead of abhorrent like it should.
I remove my dress and then my shift. There is something freeing about being naked out in the open air.
My nipples are tight. They throb in time with my sex. It is like there is an unseen cord that binds them. I look down, seeing the patch of dark hair between my legs.
I shake my head, wading into the cold water. Goosebumps break out on my arms. Once I am in the cool depths, I start to wash off. I wish I had tallow. I dip my head under the water a couple of times, rubbing at my scalp.
Despite the cool water, I still feel like I am burning up. I want to be touched so badly. I cup my sex in my hand. I even push a finger into myself, but I feel…nothing.
How can it be so good?
Perhaps it is different for a woman. It must be. My cheeks are hot. My neck, too. I need to stop these wayward thoughts. I will stop them and right now.
I dunk back down under the cool water, staying under for as long as my lungs will allow, and then I emerge and walk from the pool.
I have a clean shift and dress in my saddlebag. I am dressed and washing my other pieces of clothing when Orion returns with two dead rabbits dangling from his hand.
“Dinner,” he says, holding them up by the back legs.
“Oh…that’s excellent,” I say, trying hard to sound normal. I look up at the dead creatures instead of at him. All I see is his face while he was… I need to forget!
“Did you enjoy your bath?” he asks.
I make a noise of confirmation, keeping my attention on the job at hand. Only when all the garments are as clean as I can get them do I hang them up on a nearby branch.
I note that Orion has skinned the rabbits by the time I am done. He’s pushed them onto a long, thin stick. I suspect he plans on roasting them over the fire. My mouth waters at the thought.
He catches my gaze and smiles. I hear his groan of pleasure in my mind. It makes me blush.
Kakara, help me forget!
I quickly look away and scrub a hand over my face. Then I get busy filling the empty waterskins.
By the time I am done, Orion is sitting next to the blazing fire, and the sun is setting. The sky is a beautiful pink through the trees.
I contemplate sitting with him but think better of it. I watched him. I watched. I’m reeling. I still can’t believe that I did that. I should have left well alone. When will I learn?
I rummage through the saddlebag, find a brush, and start grooming Midnight. I’ll give the other two a brush as well. Hopefully, dinner will be ready by the time I’m done. I’ll eat and turn in early. I am tired. It’s been a long few days. And most importantly, I can’t face Orion. Not today. Maybe tomorrow?
No!
It’s doubtful.
“Are you going to ignore me for the rest of this quest?” Orion asks from directly behind me, almost making me jump out of my skin.
I grab my chest as I turn and shake my head. “Has no one ever told you not to sneak up on people?”
“I hardly snuck up on you. And? Is this how it’s going to be until we break this tether?”
“I’m not sure what you mean.” My cheeks go all hot again. I’ve never had this happen so often. It’s driving me mad. I don’t like it at all. I look back at Midnight and keep brushing him, praying that Orion will go away.
The tension in the air is palpable. I can hear my heart ringing in my ears.
Go away!
Go!
“You’re ignoring me,” he says.
I turn. “I’m doing no such thing. I’m brushing the horses. That’s all.” I wish he would leave already.
“That’s not all, Maya. Should we talk about it?” His voice is gentle, almost pleading. “Will that make you feel better?”
“No!” I half-yell. “There is nothing to talk about.” My heart is racing.
Please, no! Please!
Orion can’t possibly know that I watched him. He can’t. If he knows, I will die. I will wither and die.
“There is no shame in it, you know.”
“Stop! Don’t!” Kakara’s cat, he knows. He knows!
“It’s normal to be interested in the opposite sex, and there is nothing wrong with nudity.”
“Thanks for that insightful piece of information. Can we leave it alone now, please?” I look more at my slippered feet than at him. I turn and start brushing Midnight in such a vigorous fashion he turns and tries to nip at me.
I jump back, bumping into Orion, who grips my upper arms to keep me from falling. “I knew you were watching,” he says into the shell of my ear.
My body lights up, and I feel myself go numb. It’s like all the blood has left my body and yet is rushing through my veins simultaneously, and I want to die.
“You knew!” I turn, breaking free from his grip, feeling a rush of anger toward him. It’s irrational. He should be the one who is angry at me. I watched. I’m the voyeur.
“Yes. I saw you.” His eyes move about my face for a moment before locking with my eyes.
I swallow thickly. I can’t believe this. “Why, then? Why did you…?”
“Touch myself?” His voice is a deep rasp.
“Yes,” I whisper, and it sounds all breathy, like I can’t form proper words.
“Why did you keep watching?” he throws back at me.
“You first,” I snap.
“The thought of you watching had me burning up inside. I probably shouldn’t have done…what I did, but…it happened. You stayed, and you watched…and I could sense you there in the shadows, your eyes on me. Perhaps you were curious. Perhaps you were burning up, too. There is no shame in any of it. Men and women are supposed to find each other attractive. We’re supposed to want sex.”
“We can’t have sex!” I practically yell at him.
“No, we can’t,” he says gently.
Disappointment courses through me.
Why am I feeling this way? I don’t want to have sex with Orion. I haven’t really thought very much about the subject until the last few days. Since meeting him. And now all I can do is think about what it would feel like to kiss…to touch, and be touched in return.
“It’s your turn to answer my question. Why did you keep watching me?” he asks; his voice is deep. “Why didn’t you walk away? Or look away, at the very least.”
“I…I…couldn’t look away, even though I wanted to.”
“You wanted to look away? Are you sure about that?” He narrows his eyes, and there is a glint in them that tells me he doesn’t believe me. I don’t care what he thinks.
I swallow again. “Very sure. I felt nothing save morbid curiosity,” I lie through my teeth. Although, it isn’t an outright lie. I was curious.
“Morbid curiosity.” He raises a brow. “Interesting. Nothing else?”
“Like what?” My face feels hot, and just like that, I am feeling things I shouldn’t be feeling.
“I don’t know…need. Heat. Desire.”
I shake my head each time he says a word.
“Like you wanted to be stroked and kissed… Like you wanted, no needed to be touched.”
“No.” My voice is breathless and slightly high-pitched. “Not at all.” I clear my throat.
Orion tosses me a casual half-smile. Just like everything about him, it’s beautiful. His vivid green eyes light up. His full lips quirk up to the side. A dimple appears beneath the dark stubble. “I think you might be lying, Maya. Morbid curiosity had you watch me take my pleasure from beginning to end?”
“Yes, because it isn’t like it lasted very long.” I shrug. “You were done in no time.”
He barks out a laugh. I find I like the sound of it. Although, I have no idea why he is laughing at all.
“Why is that so funny?”
“The innocence of your remark. It’s a bad thing if a man can’t last. A terrible thing…that is all.”
“Why?” I ask before I can stop myself.
“Because it can take much longer for a woman to find completion, and a man must have the stamina to…take her there.”
“What is completion? I mean, I understand the meaning of the word. To end. To be done, but I don’t…understand. Although…” I turn and start brushing Midnight again, careful to go easy this time. “I’m not sure that this is an appropriate topic for us to be discussing,” I say, even though I am desperate to know. To understand. I want to hear more about it.
“No, you are right. It is not appropriate at all, but perhaps not for the reasons you may think.”
I want him to say more. To explain those reasons to me, but he doesn’t. I hear him walk away. What reasons could he mean?
27
Maya
Orion tosses another log onto the fire, causing a burst of sparks and embers to shoot into the night sky. The flames greedily lap at the fresh wood, growing higher. A satisfying crackle echoes through the clearing, punctuating into the peaceful night air.
I lick my fingers as well as my lips. “The rabbit was delicious,” I tell Orion. “Thank you.” I move my gaze back to the fire.
I can barely look at him. I thought that things between us would be better with everything out in the open, but they are worse. Orion can tell me all he likes about how natural it is to be curious, and how normal it is to be interested in sex. It’s a great pity that it doesn’t feel natural to me.
I’m not sure which is worse – that Orion knew I was watching and…touched himself anyway or me and my peeping Tom ways. I shut my eyes. It’s me. I’m worse. I should never have watched him in the first place.
Orion probably did what he did to teach me a lesson and scare me away, but he didn’t bargain on me staying and watching the whole thing.
“You can stop beating yourself up now, Maya,” he says. “I can practically hear you thinking. Stop giving yourself such a hard time. So, what if you watched me?” He shrugs. “Let’s move on. We’re supposed to be resting up so that we can take on the witch. You’re too busy stressing to rest.”
“Can you drop it already? I wasn’t even thinking about that.”
He laughs softly. “If you say so.”
“I do.”
“Okay,” he says.
“Okay, what?”
“Okay, nothing. Just okay. That’s all.”
“That’s not all! I can hear it in your voice.” I should take my own advice and drop it, but I can’t seem to make myself do it.
“I think you’re lying about all of it, but it doesn’t really matter what I think.”
“Lying how?” I want to punch myself in the jaw to shut myself up. Why do I keep asking him stupid questions? Whhhhyyyy?
“You’re lying about why you watched. It may have started out as just curiosity, but it didn’t stay that way. Heat, desire, lust. I think you felt all those things. I think you’re still feeling them. I think you wanted me to put my hands on you in the same way I was touching myself. I think that you still do.”
“I don’t!” I shake my head. There is a tremor in my voice. “What would be the point? Women are not made the same way as men. They don’t…they can’t…we… It isn’t like that for us,” I say the first thing that comes to mind, but only because he is right, and I don’t want him to know it.
He gets a look of concern. His eyes even cloud. “Who told you that?”
