Grim fandango, p.36
Grim Fandango, page 36
Meche ‘scowled’.
Bowlsley got very agitated as he read the note. “I knew it!” he exclaimed, crumpling the note and throwing it away. “I knew he was out to get me the whole time!” Bowlsley went off camera. “He’s going to have to find himself another florist!” There were some rattling and banging noises, and then silence.
“Lucky break,” I said.
“Hey, don’t knock it,” Eva said. “Unless Hector has a large stash of Bowlsley’s special sproutella—and Bowlsley didn’t leave the formula behind—maybe we just did some good work. If we can’t take care of Hector tonight, this might even things up a little for the next attempt, especially if we can pick up Bowlsley before he goes to ground.”
“Eva,” I said after a moment, “I know you don’t want to talk details, but if Salvador wants as many agents as possible to rendezvous with him, he must be planning something big. Right?”
“I’m not going to argue with you, sweetheart,” she said. I chose to take that as an affirmative.
“Hector must have a lot of protection,” I guessed.
“He wouldn’t still be here if he didn’t.”
“Does he ever see anybody? I mean, when someone wants to buy a Double-N ticket, do they deal with Hector directly or through one of his gang?”
“As far as we’ve been able to find out,” Eva answered, “anyone who wants to buy a Double-N ticket, buys it from Hector himself.” She folded her arms and gave me the ‘paperclips-are-not-toys’ glare. “Where are you going with this, Cal?”
“Well, it just seems to me that an attack by a bunch of LSA toughs is exactly the kind of thing Hector would be ready for, but anyone in the market for a ticket can get to him without all that fuss, right?”
“We’ve sent agents to try to buy tickets before, darling. You already know how well that worked out.”
“Yeah, but those were agents. I’m not exactly your average LSA man, am I? And besides, I’m still on top of that mountain so far as Hector knows, unless he figured his note would make me bolt into the next world the second I read it. Either way, I don’t think the man’s staying up nights worrying about me.”
Eva shrugged. “Maybe you’ve got a point, Cal, but I still don’t see what you’re aiming at.”
“I gotta find out what happened to those tickets and try to get them back, Eva. If I can get to Hector, maybe I can do something about it.”
“Maybe you can, but you’d be taking an awfully big risk. Even supposing you manage to get in to see him, you might not get back out.”
It was my turn to shrug. “Yeah, but I’m probably not getting out of this world anyway. If I can do a little good while I meet my destiny, I can take it.” Eva projected an unhappy frown, but said nothing. “So here’s the plan,” I said. I looked down at myself. Not a pretty sight, even in the best of times, and these weren’t anything like good times. “First, I’m gonna need new clothes, something that doesn’t reek of sled dog. A really sharp suit would be ideal. I need to look loaded if Hector’s going to take me seriously.” Eva nodded. “Trouble is, I’m tapped out. Glottis and I emptied our accounts in Zapato to help finance the trip to the end of the line. Olivia footed the bills since we left Rubacava, but she didn’t give me her bank card. Can the LSA help out?”
“Are you seriously asking me that?!” Eva exclaimed, incredulous. My spirits started to sink, but then she said, “If you think the price of a new suit will help bring down Hector, you’ve got it. But what about Mercedes?”
“Well…” I began.
“You’d better include me,” Meche said. “You’ll be more convincing as a couple, you know.”
“That’s good,” Eva said, “really good! A lot of Hector’s customers are old marrieds.” She shook her head. “Why the hell didn’t we think of that before?”
“Search me,” I said. “So, once we get dressed up, we try to get in to see Hector. I’ll need a gun so we’ll have something to talk about when I get there.”
“I can fix you up, no problem,” Eva said. “Have you ever fired a sproutella gun?”
“No, but I’ve handled guns.”
“Well, these ones have a different kind of kick. And the aim is a little tricky. You should practice. But first you need to get your new clothes before the shops close.”
“Yeah, good idea,” I said.
“I’ll get you guys some money,” Eva said and left the room.
“I haven’t been shopping in ages,” Meche said.
“Just remember we’re in a hurry here,” I said. “We go in, get new outfits, and come right back out again.”
Meche shook her head and muttered, “Men!”
Nuevo Marrow
We went topside and got our new clothes. We weren’t as quick about it as I had wanted to be, but…well, I’m a man and Meche’s a woman, and I’ll leave it at that. When we got back to LSA headquarters, Eva was waiting for me with a gun and good news.
“Take a look at this,” she said, holding out a green canister, “but be careful.”
“What is it?” I asked as I took it.
“Glottis had it sent to me,” Eva said. “It seems a little man in overalls ran past him a while ago and dropped this.”
“Bowlsley!” I exclaimed.
“Looks that way. We did a test. This is the fast-acting sproutella.” I quickly handed the canister back, thinking I’d be happier not knowing how they tested it. “We might be able to duplicate it. If we can, it might shift the balance of power our way. Anyone hit with this stuff doesn’t have time to shoot back.” I shivered. Eva noticed and said, “I know, Cal, but they shoot us so we have to shoot back.”
“Last one standing wins.” I sighed. “I understand. It’s just a little chilling to hear you talk like that.”
“It’s been a long time since I was a meek little secretary.”
“I never thought of you as ‘meek’.”
“If you say so, Cal. Come on, let’s get you on the firing range.”
“While you’re doing that,” Meche said, “maybe I should try to find out where Hector is.”
“His casino tower is directly above these headquarters,” Eva said. “That’s the best place to start looking.”
“All right,” Meche said. “Meet me there, Manny.”
“Volunteers quickly for dangerous work,” Eva said approvingly after Meche had gone. “She could be very useful to the cause.”
“As far as I’m concerned, she is the cause.”
Eva gave me an appraising look. “C’mon, Cal. Let’s see what you can do with that gun.”
It turned out Eva was right. The sproutella gun did recoil different from a normal gun. Although similar to a gas-powered BB gun, it had a lot more kick, and aiming was a lot harder than I had expected.
“These darts don’t have the range of a lead bullet, sweetheart,” Eva said when I couldn’t hit the target anywhere near the bull’s-eye with the water-filled ‘blanks’ used on the firing range. “They’re bigger and heavier, so they drop pretty quickly. You have to aim high. The further away you are, the higher you have to aim.”
“I’m planning to be very close to Hector when I shoot him, you know.”
“You still have to know how to handle that thing, and you’re not going anywhere until I’m convinced you do.”
That took a while, but eventually I was able to hit what I was aiming at. The breakthrough came when I figured out that I needed to feel like I was overcompensating for distance. When Eva was satisfied, I put on a shoulder holster under my coat and got ready to go.
“Good luck, Manny,” Eva said.
“Thanks,” I said. I buttoned my coat, checked that my tie was straight and headed for the door. But before I got there I stopped and turned back to Eva.
“Look,” I began, “I might not come back from this, so…I think I should apologize now.”
She cocked her skull. “What for, Cal?”
“Well, I’m not sure exactly. It’s just that,” I took a deep breath and let it out, “I know I was kind of an asshole all those years ago, so I think I should try to make things right before—”
“Manny,” she said earnestly, “I’m not sure what the problem here is.”
“I’ve been getting wise to myself the last couple of years,” I said, “and I don’t like what I see. People have gotten hurt because I wasn’t paying attention to anything besides me. I’ve been worried maybe you were one of them. Somehow. I don’t know. I hope not. But I can’t walk out this door without—”
“Don’t worry about it, darling,” she said. “If you had done anything you shouldn’t have, you’d have known about it long before now, believe me. You were always aces with me. If things had worked out different…” She trailed off wistfully and shrugged.
I didn’t care about what might have been, so I said, “Well, that’s good to know. I couldn’t take it if I’d done anything to hurt you. Not on top of everything else. You know.”
“Sure, Cal. I know. Well, you’d better take off. Mercedes is probably getting worried.”
“Right,” I said, turning to go out the door. “Hold my calls.”
“Asshole!” she called out after me with a laugh.
I came out of the sewers into an alley near the intersection of 42nd and Corley. It wasn’t hard to spot Hector’s casino. It was labeled plain enough in bright neon equaling Times Square multiplied by Las Vegas cubed. I felt a little exposed on the street, but I dismissed that. I was in the big city. I hadn’t been here in years. No one should recognize me. Hell, no one even looked at me as I emerged from the alley and walked to the casino. I went into the lobby and was ignored by the sullen-looking hat-check girl, too. That suited me, but I recognized then what a good asset I’d had in Lupe (and I hoped the overeager kid was somewhere safe and jacked on sugar). If I could go back to my club as it had been, I might even have begged her to give me every last crazy detail of her latest coat-check scheme just to have gotten another taste of those good old days. But, of course, that wasn’t possible. Emphasizing that fact, Hector’s casino was even more garish inside than outside. I guessed he didn’t have someone like Lola to help coordinate the colors. I shoved aside the reflexive guilt I felt about her and focused on trying to find Meche. I followed the loudest noises and found myself in a huge room filled with slot machines. Figures. Might as well have a big neon sign out front saying We Got No Class. I scanned the room, trying to spot the green and black tartan outfit Meche had on. I expected it to stand out against all the red and gold in the room, and it did. I saw her toting a bucket of coins.
“Meche,” I said as quietly as I could as I came up beside her.
“Manny,” whispered back, “what kept you?”
“I needed more practice than I thought. What’ve you found out?”
Meche stopped walking and looked quickly around. “Hector’s here,” she answered. “He has an office in the penthouse suite. There’s an express elevator in the rear of the casino, but it’s guarded by a big red demon. You can get by only with a password.”
I was impressed. “Hey, you’ve really been putting your time to good use.”
“My new boyfriend likes to talk,” she said.
“You’re new…what?” I stammered.
“Jealous?” she asked, ‘grinning’ wickedly.
“Uh…”
She let me off the hook. “It’s that little guy way over there.” She pointed. “He knows the password. He’s even got it written down. So he says, anyway.”
“OK, so what is the password?” I asked when she didn’t spill it.
Meche shook her head. “I don’t know. He won’t tell me and I don’t dare press him any more than I have. But I’ve got an idea. While I was getting more change for Mr. High Roller, I heard some people talking about a toga party at the Hotel Romano next door. Maybe I can get him there. You can follow and go through his suit after he changes.”
“You’re trickier than I thought,” I said.
“Well, I’ve been watching you operate.”
I winced. “Wicked left,” I said.
Meche shrugged. “I’d better get back before he runs out of coins. Again.” She shook her head.
I followed, but when we got nearer to her ‘boyfriend’ I went “Whoa!” and quickly turned around.
“What is it?” Meche asked.
“That’s Chowchilla Charlie,” I answered. “If he recognizes me, we’re sunk.”
“Chowchilla Charlie?” Meche asked, startled. “So he’s the guy— Do you think he’s in with Hector?”
“He must be…if he really knows the password,” I said. “I knew that suitcase full of counterfeit tickets wasn’t his.” But I was still confused by the kabuki he and Max had performed with it.
“You’ll just have to try to keep out of sight while I get him to the Romano.”
“I know this guy, Meche,” I said. “He can play the slots for days.”
“Well, I still have to try,” she countered.
She went to Charlie, putting the bucket of change beside the one he already had. Charlie dug into the new bucket, feeding coins into the machine with one hand and pawing Meche with the other. I turned away.
After a few minutes it became very clear that Meche wasn’t going to get Charlie out of Hector’s casino any time soon. She pouted and pleaded and used just about every female tool of persuasion there is to get him away from the bandit, but none of it worked. Charlie wasn’t going to budge until he hit the jackpot, which seemed increasingly unlikely as time passed. So much for Charlie’s ‘infallible system’. In fact, no one around me seemed to be having any luck with the machines.
Except for one guy, that is. Whenever someone gave up on a bandit, he’d go up to it and clean it out. Consistently. And he was pretty remarkable for another reason: he rode a unicycle and wore a trench coat and big hat. The unicycle wasn’t all that strange. He might have lost his legs in some kind of accident, maybe even a run-in with a wild demon. But when he went up to a machine, he seemed to snuggle against it, then go rigid. And I could almost swear I could see something like an animal going into the slot the money came out of shortly before the machine paid off. But the light was very dim in the casino, just like it had been in mine. Easier to rip people off that way.
I got a quick glimpse of his face when he turned toward me briefly. Suddenly it started to become clear. I went over to the guy and quietly asked, “What’s going on under that raincoat?”
He didn’t flinch or jump. “I don’t know,” he said. “What’s going on under that pinstripe?”
“Didn’t Salvador chop you in half earlier this evening?”
The agent didn’t look at me. He just pretended to play the bandit with his one arm and said, “Yes, which has given me this glorious opportunity to continue to serve the cause by gathering funds for the LSA while stealing from our arch-enemy at the same time.”
I figured out what the ‘animal’ must be. He had to be wriggling out of his coat and up the slot to trip the coin box. “I guess you can blame me that when Salvador thinks fund-raising, he thinks casino,” I said. “Can you crack any machine?”
“None of these unholy temples is safe from the LSA,” he exclaimed softly.
“How about that one over there?” I indicated the one Charlie was feeding.
“The one with the sucker planted in front? Tell me when he gives up and I’ll make it cough cold change.”
“I can’t wait that long,” I said. “Are you willing to take instructions from me?”
“Depends.”
“If I can distract that guy, I want you to do your thing, but leave the change. My mission requires me to get him to the Hotel Romano, and he won’t leave unless he wins.”
“Can do,” the agent said.
“OK, give me a second.”
I tried to discreetly get Meche’s attention. It took a little while, but fortunately she spotted me waving before I had to resort to fake sneezes. When she finally was looking at me, I curled up one hand to mime Charlie’s bucket of coins and then set it on top of the slot machine nearest me. Then I shoved it off with my other hand. I pointed at the bucket and made a pushing motion, just to be sure she got the point. She nodded. When Charlie pulled the lever next and was focused on watching the dials spin around, Meche shoved the bucket off the machine.
Charlie jumped when the bucket crashed to the floor, and swore loudly when he saw his coins scattering everywhere. “I’m sorry,” I Meche said, sounding sincere. “I guess I got a little excited.”
Charlie grumbled something while he and Meche got down on their hands and knees to pick up his coins. The agent quietly rolled over and worked his magic. Charlie’s bandit started spilling coins as the agent quickly moved over to the nearest free machine.
Charlie looked up from the floor to see the coin slot overflowing. “I did it!” he crowed. “My system worked! I knew it! I told you!” He started stuffing his pockets.
“That’s great,” Meche said, sounding more relieved than glad. “Now let’s go so you can buy me a drink at the Romano.”
Charlie finished picking up his ‘winnings’ and took Meche’s arm. “Come, my lovely,” he said. “I have another infallible system I’d like to demonstrate.” He went grrr and they started walking toward the exit.
Smooth Hector
I followed Meche and Charlie from a discreet distance. Inside the Romano they went to the convention room where the toga party was being held. They got sheets from the organizers and went into separate restrooms to change. Meche was quick and came out first. From the Bride of Frankenstein way she had the sheet wrapped around her, I guessed she still had her clothes on underneath.
“Stick with Charlie for at least fifteen minutes,” I said to her, “then try to ditch him without his noticing. We don’t have a lot of time here, angel, because the longer we wait, the greater the chances that Hector might leave the casino, and then we’d have to start all over again. So if you don’t show up in half an hour, I’m going to assume that Charlie’s just too hard to shake, and that I should try to get to Hector on my own. So, if that’s how it all shakes out, I’ll meet you at the train station with the tickets as soon as I can.”
Bowlsley got very agitated as he read the note. “I knew it!” he exclaimed, crumpling the note and throwing it away. “I knew he was out to get me the whole time!” Bowlsley went off camera. “He’s going to have to find himself another florist!” There were some rattling and banging noises, and then silence.
“Lucky break,” I said.
“Hey, don’t knock it,” Eva said. “Unless Hector has a large stash of Bowlsley’s special sproutella—and Bowlsley didn’t leave the formula behind—maybe we just did some good work. If we can’t take care of Hector tonight, this might even things up a little for the next attempt, especially if we can pick up Bowlsley before he goes to ground.”
“Eva,” I said after a moment, “I know you don’t want to talk details, but if Salvador wants as many agents as possible to rendezvous with him, he must be planning something big. Right?”
“I’m not going to argue with you, sweetheart,” she said. I chose to take that as an affirmative.
“Hector must have a lot of protection,” I guessed.
“He wouldn’t still be here if he didn’t.”
“Does he ever see anybody? I mean, when someone wants to buy a Double-N ticket, do they deal with Hector directly or through one of his gang?”
“As far as we’ve been able to find out,” Eva answered, “anyone who wants to buy a Double-N ticket, buys it from Hector himself.” She folded her arms and gave me the ‘paperclips-are-not-toys’ glare. “Where are you going with this, Cal?”
“Well, it just seems to me that an attack by a bunch of LSA toughs is exactly the kind of thing Hector would be ready for, but anyone in the market for a ticket can get to him without all that fuss, right?”
“We’ve sent agents to try to buy tickets before, darling. You already know how well that worked out.”
“Yeah, but those were agents. I’m not exactly your average LSA man, am I? And besides, I’m still on top of that mountain so far as Hector knows, unless he figured his note would make me bolt into the next world the second I read it. Either way, I don’t think the man’s staying up nights worrying about me.”
Eva shrugged. “Maybe you’ve got a point, Cal, but I still don’t see what you’re aiming at.”
“I gotta find out what happened to those tickets and try to get them back, Eva. If I can get to Hector, maybe I can do something about it.”
“Maybe you can, but you’d be taking an awfully big risk. Even supposing you manage to get in to see him, you might not get back out.”
It was my turn to shrug. “Yeah, but I’m probably not getting out of this world anyway. If I can do a little good while I meet my destiny, I can take it.” Eva projected an unhappy frown, but said nothing. “So here’s the plan,” I said. I looked down at myself. Not a pretty sight, even in the best of times, and these weren’t anything like good times. “First, I’m gonna need new clothes, something that doesn’t reek of sled dog. A really sharp suit would be ideal. I need to look loaded if Hector’s going to take me seriously.” Eva nodded. “Trouble is, I’m tapped out. Glottis and I emptied our accounts in Zapato to help finance the trip to the end of the line. Olivia footed the bills since we left Rubacava, but she didn’t give me her bank card. Can the LSA help out?”
“Are you seriously asking me that?!” Eva exclaimed, incredulous. My spirits started to sink, but then she said, “If you think the price of a new suit will help bring down Hector, you’ve got it. But what about Mercedes?”
“Well…” I began.
“You’d better include me,” Meche said. “You’ll be more convincing as a couple, you know.”
“That’s good,” Eva said, “really good! A lot of Hector’s customers are old marrieds.” She shook her head. “Why the hell didn’t we think of that before?”
“Search me,” I said. “So, once we get dressed up, we try to get in to see Hector. I’ll need a gun so we’ll have something to talk about when I get there.”
“I can fix you up, no problem,” Eva said. “Have you ever fired a sproutella gun?”
“No, but I’ve handled guns.”
“Well, these ones have a different kind of kick. And the aim is a little tricky. You should practice. But first you need to get your new clothes before the shops close.”
“Yeah, good idea,” I said.
“I’ll get you guys some money,” Eva said and left the room.
“I haven’t been shopping in ages,” Meche said.
“Just remember we’re in a hurry here,” I said. “We go in, get new outfits, and come right back out again.”
Meche shook her head and muttered, “Men!”
Nuevo Marrow
We went topside and got our new clothes. We weren’t as quick about it as I had wanted to be, but…well, I’m a man and Meche’s a woman, and I’ll leave it at that. When we got back to LSA headquarters, Eva was waiting for me with a gun and good news.
“Take a look at this,” she said, holding out a green canister, “but be careful.”
“What is it?” I asked as I took it.
“Glottis had it sent to me,” Eva said. “It seems a little man in overalls ran past him a while ago and dropped this.”
“Bowlsley!” I exclaimed.
“Looks that way. We did a test. This is the fast-acting sproutella.” I quickly handed the canister back, thinking I’d be happier not knowing how they tested it. “We might be able to duplicate it. If we can, it might shift the balance of power our way. Anyone hit with this stuff doesn’t have time to shoot back.” I shivered. Eva noticed and said, “I know, Cal, but they shoot us so we have to shoot back.”
“Last one standing wins.” I sighed. “I understand. It’s just a little chilling to hear you talk like that.”
“It’s been a long time since I was a meek little secretary.”
“I never thought of you as ‘meek’.”
“If you say so, Cal. Come on, let’s get you on the firing range.”
“While you’re doing that,” Meche said, “maybe I should try to find out where Hector is.”
“His casino tower is directly above these headquarters,” Eva said. “That’s the best place to start looking.”
“All right,” Meche said. “Meet me there, Manny.”
“Volunteers quickly for dangerous work,” Eva said approvingly after Meche had gone. “She could be very useful to the cause.”
“As far as I’m concerned, she is the cause.”
Eva gave me an appraising look. “C’mon, Cal. Let’s see what you can do with that gun.”
It turned out Eva was right. The sproutella gun did recoil different from a normal gun. Although similar to a gas-powered BB gun, it had a lot more kick, and aiming was a lot harder than I had expected.
“These darts don’t have the range of a lead bullet, sweetheart,” Eva said when I couldn’t hit the target anywhere near the bull’s-eye with the water-filled ‘blanks’ used on the firing range. “They’re bigger and heavier, so they drop pretty quickly. You have to aim high. The further away you are, the higher you have to aim.”
“I’m planning to be very close to Hector when I shoot him, you know.”
“You still have to know how to handle that thing, and you’re not going anywhere until I’m convinced you do.”
That took a while, but eventually I was able to hit what I was aiming at. The breakthrough came when I figured out that I needed to feel like I was overcompensating for distance. When Eva was satisfied, I put on a shoulder holster under my coat and got ready to go.
“Good luck, Manny,” Eva said.
“Thanks,” I said. I buttoned my coat, checked that my tie was straight and headed for the door. But before I got there I stopped and turned back to Eva.
“Look,” I began, “I might not come back from this, so…I think I should apologize now.”
She cocked her skull. “What for, Cal?”
“Well, I’m not sure exactly. It’s just that,” I took a deep breath and let it out, “I know I was kind of an asshole all those years ago, so I think I should try to make things right before—”
“Manny,” she said earnestly, “I’m not sure what the problem here is.”
“I’ve been getting wise to myself the last couple of years,” I said, “and I don’t like what I see. People have gotten hurt because I wasn’t paying attention to anything besides me. I’ve been worried maybe you were one of them. Somehow. I don’t know. I hope not. But I can’t walk out this door without—”
“Don’t worry about it, darling,” she said. “If you had done anything you shouldn’t have, you’d have known about it long before now, believe me. You were always aces with me. If things had worked out different…” She trailed off wistfully and shrugged.
I didn’t care about what might have been, so I said, “Well, that’s good to know. I couldn’t take it if I’d done anything to hurt you. Not on top of everything else. You know.”
“Sure, Cal. I know. Well, you’d better take off. Mercedes is probably getting worried.”
“Right,” I said, turning to go out the door. “Hold my calls.”
“Asshole!” she called out after me with a laugh.
I came out of the sewers into an alley near the intersection of 42nd and Corley. It wasn’t hard to spot Hector’s casino. It was labeled plain enough in bright neon equaling Times Square multiplied by Las Vegas cubed. I felt a little exposed on the street, but I dismissed that. I was in the big city. I hadn’t been here in years. No one should recognize me. Hell, no one even looked at me as I emerged from the alley and walked to the casino. I went into the lobby and was ignored by the sullen-looking hat-check girl, too. That suited me, but I recognized then what a good asset I’d had in Lupe (and I hoped the overeager kid was somewhere safe and jacked on sugar). If I could go back to my club as it had been, I might even have begged her to give me every last crazy detail of her latest coat-check scheme just to have gotten another taste of those good old days. But, of course, that wasn’t possible. Emphasizing that fact, Hector’s casino was even more garish inside than outside. I guessed he didn’t have someone like Lola to help coordinate the colors. I shoved aside the reflexive guilt I felt about her and focused on trying to find Meche. I followed the loudest noises and found myself in a huge room filled with slot machines. Figures. Might as well have a big neon sign out front saying We Got No Class. I scanned the room, trying to spot the green and black tartan outfit Meche had on. I expected it to stand out against all the red and gold in the room, and it did. I saw her toting a bucket of coins.
“Meche,” I said as quietly as I could as I came up beside her.
“Manny,” whispered back, “what kept you?”
“I needed more practice than I thought. What’ve you found out?”
Meche stopped walking and looked quickly around. “Hector’s here,” she answered. “He has an office in the penthouse suite. There’s an express elevator in the rear of the casino, but it’s guarded by a big red demon. You can get by only with a password.”
I was impressed. “Hey, you’ve really been putting your time to good use.”
“My new boyfriend likes to talk,” she said.
“You’re new…what?” I stammered.
“Jealous?” she asked, ‘grinning’ wickedly.
“Uh…”
She let me off the hook. “It’s that little guy way over there.” She pointed. “He knows the password. He’s even got it written down. So he says, anyway.”
“OK, so what is the password?” I asked when she didn’t spill it.
Meche shook her head. “I don’t know. He won’t tell me and I don’t dare press him any more than I have. But I’ve got an idea. While I was getting more change for Mr. High Roller, I heard some people talking about a toga party at the Hotel Romano next door. Maybe I can get him there. You can follow and go through his suit after he changes.”
“You’re trickier than I thought,” I said.
“Well, I’ve been watching you operate.”
I winced. “Wicked left,” I said.
Meche shrugged. “I’d better get back before he runs out of coins. Again.” She shook her head.
I followed, but when we got nearer to her ‘boyfriend’ I went “Whoa!” and quickly turned around.
“What is it?” Meche asked.
“That’s Chowchilla Charlie,” I answered. “If he recognizes me, we’re sunk.”
“Chowchilla Charlie?” Meche asked, startled. “So he’s the guy— Do you think he’s in with Hector?”
“He must be…if he really knows the password,” I said. “I knew that suitcase full of counterfeit tickets wasn’t his.” But I was still confused by the kabuki he and Max had performed with it.
“You’ll just have to try to keep out of sight while I get him to the Romano.”
“I know this guy, Meche,” I said. “He can play the slots for days.”
“Well, I still have to try,” she countered.
She went to Charlie, putting the bucket of change beside the one he already had. Charlie dug into the new bucket, feeding coins into the machine with one hand and pawing Meche with the other. I turned away.
After a few minutes it became very clear that Meche wasn’t going to get Charlie out of Hector’s casino any time soon. She pouted and pleaded and used just about every female tool of persuasion there is to get him away from the bandit, but none of it worked. Charlie wasn’t going to budge until he hit the jackpot, which seemed increasingly unlikely as time passed. So much for Charlie’s ‘infallible system’. In fact, no one around me seemed to be having any luck with the machines.
Except for one guy, that is. Whenever someone gave up on a bandit, he’d go up to it and clean it out. Consistently. And he was pretty remarkable for another reason: he rode a unicycle and wore a trench coat and big hat. The unicycle wasn’t all that strange. He might have lost his legs in some kind of accident, maybe even a run-in with a wild demon. But when he went up to a machine, he seemed to snuggle against it, then go rigid. And I could almost swear I could see something like an animal going into the slot the money came out of shortly before the machine paid off. But the light was very dim in the casino, just like it had been in mine. Easier to rip people off that way.
I got a quick glimpse of his face when he turned toward me briefly. Suddenly it started to become clear. I went over to the guy and quietly asked, “What’s going on under that raincoat?”
He didn’t flinch or jump. “I don’t know,” he said. “What’s going on under that pinstripe?”
“Didn’t Salvador chop you in half earlier this evening?”
The agent didn’t look at me. He just pretended to play the bandit with his one arm and said, “Yes, which has given me this glorious opportunity to continue to serve the cause by gathering funds for the LSA while stealing from our arch-enemy at the same time.”
I figured out what the ‘animal’ must be. He had to be wriggling out of his coat and up the slot to trip the coin box. “I guess you can blame me that when Salvador thinks fund-raising, he thinks casino,” I said. “Can you crack any machine?”
“None of these unholy temples is safe from the LSA,” he exclaimed softly.
“How about that one over there?” I indicated the one Charlie was feeding.
“The one with the sucker planted in front? Tell me when he gives up and I’ll make it cough cold change.”
“I can’t wait that long,” I said. “Are you willing to take instructions from me?”
“Depends.”
“If I can distract that guy, I want you to do your thing, but leave the change. My mission requires me to get him to the Hotel Romano, and he won’t leave unless he wins.”
“Can do,” the agent said.
“OK, give me a second.”
I tried to discreetly get Meche’s attention. It took a little while, but fortunately she spotted me waving before I had to resort to fake sneezes. When she finally was looking at me, I curled up one hand to mime Charlie’s bucket of coins and then set it on top of the slot machine nearest me. Then I shoved it off with my other hand. I pointed at the bucket and made a pushing motion, just to be sure she got the point. She nodded. When Charlie pulled the lever next and was focused on watching the dials spin around, Meche shoved the bucket off the machine.
Charlie jumped when the bucket crashed to the floor, and swore loudly when he saw his coins scattering everywhere. “I’m sorry,” I Meche said, sounding sincere. “I guess I got a little excited.”
Charlie grumbled something while he and Meche got down on their hands and knees to pick up his coins. The agent quietly rolled over and worked his magic. Charlie’s bandit started spilling coins as the agent quickly moved over to the nearest free machine.
Charlie looked up from the floor to see the coin slot overflowing. “I did it!” he crowed. “My system worked! I knew it! I told you!” He started stuffing his pockets.
“That’s great,” Meche said, sounding more relieved than glad. “Now let’s go so you can buy me a drink at the Romano.”
Charlie finished picking up his ‘winnings’ and took Meche’s arm. “Come, my lovely,” he said. “I have another infallible system I’d like to demonstrate.” He went grrr and they started walking toward the exit.
Smooth Hector
I followed Meche and Charlie from a discreet distance. Inside the Romano they went to the convention room where the toga party was being held. They got sheets from the organizers and went into separate restrooms to change. Meche was quick and came out first. From the Bride of Frankenstein way she had the sheet wrapped around her, I guessed she still had her clothes on underneath.
“Stick with Charlie for at least fifteen minutes,” I said to her, “then try to ditch him without his noticing. We don’t have a lot of time here, angel, because the longer we wait, the greater the chances that Hector might leave the casino, and then we’d have to start all over again. So if you don’t show up in half an hour, I’m going to assume that Charlie’s just too hard to shake, and that I should try to get to Hector on my own. So, if that’s how it all shakes out, I’ll meet you at the train station with the tickets as soon as I can.”
