“Yes, of course! Thank you, your Majesty.” Then she paused, and her bright smile melted into a frown. “But please, can you not tell my husband? He told me not to tell anyone about our struggles.”

  I laughed a little and nodded. All men were too proud for their own good. They would rather struggle in silence than except help.

  I was happier once my Elizabeth returned to court. I spent most of my time with her, showering her with gifts of clothes and other items. This time, Henry didn’t come and see her. I tried not to dwell on his absence; he may have just been busy. But something about it made me uneasy.

  Truthfully, I had been uneasy since George had been denied the post of Knight of the Garter, but things were becoming even stranger. The court reflected it too. Everyone seemed to be watching his or her own shadows.

  All the more reason for me to secure Elizabeth’s future, just in case.

  I went to my chaplain, Matthew Parker, to ask him for help. He was one of the men I trusted most to look after my Elizabeth. We were of the same religious persuasion, and he had been in my personal service for the last two years.

  “If anything happens to me, I need you to watch over her.” I begged him, not wasting time on formal greetings and courtesies.

  “Of course I will your Majesty, but why? Is something going to happen?”

  “I don’t know, but I fear it. If anything does happen, she needs someone who will guide her.” He nodded again and I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

  I knew I was panicking, I had been debating whether or not to talk to him for days, but I had to make some kind of arrangements. I didn’t know exactly what plans were evolving in the secret corners of the court, but I’d begun to suspect that Henry might have our marriage annulled. If he did, Elizabeth would become a bastard and I might not be allowed to see her, just like Katherine and the Lady Mary. The thought chilled my heart.

  I didn’t want my daughter growing up thinking I had abandoned her. My only hope would be in people like Parker, and of course, my dear George. Surely, he would look after her too, and let me know how she was doing…

  When I returned to my rooms that night, I was exhausted. I had been thinking non-stop about Henry and the things to come, and it took me a moment, after entering the room, to notice that Mark Smeaton was by the window.

  “Mark?” I asked, wondering what he was doing here. He turned to face me, but said nothing, although sorrow was clearly written on his face. “Mark? Why are you so sad?”

  “It doesn’t matter.” he whispered, trying to sweep past me.

  Annoyed, I grabbed his hand and stopped him. I wanted him to be happy; why wouldn’t he tell me what was wrong? He had come to my chambers. Not to mention, I was also the Queen; he should speak as I so command.

  “You know, you’re lucky to have me speak to you as I speak to a noble man. After all, you are an inferior person.”

  I knew I was being a little harsh; I had always favoured him. But today, I was not in the mood to play games.

  “No, no.” he repeated, pulling himself free and crossing the room to leave. “A look suffices me. Farewell.” Then, with a sigh, he left the room without another word.

  I froze in place behind him, wondering what had just happened.

  A few days after that, I watched Sir Francis Weston flirt with my cousin, Madge. They were very open about it, and I couldn’t help but feel disgusted. She was meant to be marrying Sir Henry Norris, not Weston. When the two of them finally separated, I took him to the side.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” I asked, in disbelief. He was flirting and paying court to the Queen’s cousin, a woman who was already betrothed. “You know that she is going to marry Sir Henry Norris. Although, he is taking his time with marrying her.”

  He laughed at that; he found everything funny. Maybe that’s why all the women liked him.

  “I would not think too much about him and Madge; he comes to your chamber more for someone else than for Madge.”

  “Who does he come for?” I asked, curious by his response.

  “For you, your Majesty.”

  My mouth fell open in shock. I wasn’t sure whether Weston’s words were true or not, but when I saw Norris later, I decided to question him.

  “Sir Henry, why haven’t you just married Madge already? You spend enough time here with her.” I asked, watching as he slowly looked at Madge and then back at me.

  “I am waiting for the right time, your Majesty.”

  I could tell he was lying by the tone of his voice and the ambiguity of his answer. All these days he’d visited me, supposedly for Madge, and he couldn’t find the right time? That’s when I realised that Weston was right. He was here for me instead.

  A strange fury rose up in my chest, and I leaned dangerously forward. “I think you come here looking for dead men’s shoes, and if anything happened to the King, you would look to have me.”

  He was stunned; his eyes grew wide and he shook his head frantically. “No, your Majesty! If I had any such thought, then I would wish my head were cut off!”

  We both knew that I shouldn’t have said what I just did; it was treason to imagine the King’s death. Anger and frustration had controlled me. But I was just trying to warn him away.

  Composing myself, I pulled him to the side and whispered, “Then take no notice of my words, just go to my almoner tomorrow and take an oath saying that I am a good woman. No one must hear about this.” It was a Queen’s command, to which he quickly nodded and left.

  I only hoped that would fix the problem and cover up my treasonous act. I was still in a fragile position; I couldn’t let Henry find out, there was a chance it could ruin me.

  Henry did find out. He ordered me to meet him in the gardens the next day, and when I asked why, the messenger would not say. Not meeting him straight away, I first asked for Elizabeth to be brought to me. Henry was more likely to be merciful if he saw our daughter. After all, he still loved her, even if he was losing his love for me. Once she was safely in my arms, I went down to meet Henry.

  “I heard what you said to Henry Norris.” Henry said once I finally caught up with him in the gardens. I kept Elizabeth close to me, relaxed in my arms. I was glad that she couldn’t understand what was happening.

  “I meant nothing by it, I was just wondering why he hadn’t married Madge.” I whispered my reply, trying not to anger him, but it was to no avail.

  He whirled around to face me, suddenly shouting, “Or is it that you do not want him to marry Madge? That you would prefer to have him to yourself once you got rid of me?”

  I blinked the automatic tears from my eyes, as he lowered his gaze onto Elizabeth.

  “She might not even be mine.”

  He went to walk away but I stopped him, holding Elizabeth in between us.

  “How can you even say that? Look at her! Of course she’s yours, no one can doubt it.”

  Even if he believed the lies about me and Norris, she had his red hair. She was a Tudor.

  “She’s also perfect.” I continued. “Imagine what a perfect son we can have, if we can have such a perfect daughter?” Again, he turned to walk away from me, but I ran right in front of him. “One more chance… please. I am sure we can have a son.”

  He looked into my eyes, then at Elizabeth. At first, he seemed to be considering, but the next moment, he walked away without saying a word.

  That evening, a messenger arrived telling me that our trip to Calais had been cancelled. Henry and I had been planning that trip for a while, but I soon discovered the reason for the change of plans. He needed to sort out what he was going to do with me. After this morning’s argument, it wasn’t surprising.

  Upon hearing the news, I asked if Mark Smeaton could come and play me some music to settle my nerves. But apparently, he was ill and unable to come to my service.

  Had everyone now abandoned me?

  1 st May 1536 – Greenwich Palace, Kent

  I wanted to enjoy the May Day joust, but after the last few months, I found it difficult. It was simply so at odds with everything I was feeling. It was always a happy occasion, full of people laughing, drinking, and dancing to the lively music. It was not for me. Henry seemed to feel the same way. I knew him well enough to know when his smiles were forced and his mind was elsewhere.

  It was a warm day with only a little breeze, but luckily, the royal stand was shading us. We watched as the contestants charged on their horses, their armour gleaming in the sunlight. The men included Thomas Wyatt, Henry Norris and my own brother, George.

  For a while, everything seemed to be going well. Halfway through, however, Norris started to have some problems with his horse. The horse bucked wildly, and for a moment, it almost looked like it was going to throw him off. The sight of it seemed to be enough to change Henry’s mood.

  He stood up and the crowd fell automatically quiet. “Having some problems with your horse, Norris?” he laughed, making everyone else laugh too. He then turned to the audience. “I, the King, will let him use my own horse.”

  The people cheered, and I whispered. “That was very kind of you.”

  Once Norris was on Henry’s horse, he did a lot better. I cheered for everyone, careful not to pick sides. Besides, so far Wyatt and Norris were doing the best, and I couldn’t go against my brother.

  “So, who do you think will win?” Henry didn’t look at me when he spoke; he kept his eyes fixed on the jousting.

  “Well, Sir Henry Norris is quite good, and he does have the advantage of your horse, your Majesty. However, us Boleyn’s have to stick together, so I think my brother will win.” I answered, smiling at him.

  Henry gave me a strange frown, before nodding and mumbling something under his breath. I chose to ignore it, turning my attention back to the joust.

  We watched for another hour or so, when a messenger came up to Henry. Instead of the customary protocol, the man went and actually whispered it into his ear. It was obvious that something was going on, but then would the messenger not speak in front of me? I thought I saw Henry glance my way, but I was keeping my eyes fixed on the horses, and I couldn’t be sure. Then all at once, he abruptly stood up, and the crowds fell silent as everyone looked at him. I stared too, wondering what he was doing.

  He didn’t say a word as he left. The message must have been urgent, I thought, trying to explain to myself what was happening. He did, however, take a few men with him, including Norris, most of whom seemed equally confused.

  I did not see Henry again that day. I did not see Norris either, and Mark continued to be absent. Even some of my ladies had seemed to disappear. I was only informed later that Henry had left for Westminster; that’s where I presumed Norris was too. As for the rest of them, I didn’t know. And I hated not knowing.

  2 nd May 1536

  The next day, I tried to relax myself by watching a game of tennis. It was far easier to ignore everything going on at court, and just pretend it wasn’t happening. My champion ended up winning the game, and I wished that I had placed a bet on him. Such trivial amusements were some of the only light I had in these darkening times.

  I was just considering that thought, when a messenger arrived for me. “Your Majesty, by order of the King, you are to present yourself before the Privy Council at once.”

  He did not greet me and he did not smile. This was serious. I thought back to my words with Norris and Henry’s abrupt departure. Darkening times indeed.

  “I am unsure as to why I have been summoned, but I will come.” I stood up, remaining calm, and followed the messenger.

  Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good.

  I saw three pale and serious faces when I entered the room. The first was my uncle, the Duke of Norfolk, and I did not think much of him being there. Things had been tense since our last visit. The other two were more unusual; they were Sir William FitzWilliam and Sir William Paulet. FitzWilliam was Treasurer of the Household, a post my father used to have, and Paulet was the King’s comptroller. They made me even more afraid.

  “Do you know why you are here?” Uncle started, his expression was fixed.

  “No, I told the messenger that I was unsure, but I am sure you are going to tell me.” I replied, my voice sounding more sarcastic than I had intended.

  Instead of my uncle, Fitzwilliam replied. “Enough of that. We have been granted the power to arrest you. You are accused of committing adultery with three men. They are Mark Smeaton, Sir Henry Norris, and another who shall remain unnamed for now.”

  Time seemed to stop.

  “What?”

  This was unbelievable; I could almost laugh at its absurdity. I hadn’t been with anyone but my husband. I was lost for words, but before I could try to speak, he continued.

  “Smeaton and Norris have already confessed.”

  “You’ve got it wrong… there is nothing for them to confess to!” I protested, trying to think why they confessed. How they confessed. We had done nothing wrong. Henry couldn’t honestly believe this… could he? I pulled myself up to my full height and fought to speak like a queen. “My husband is the only man I have been with.”

  “We have evidence to the contrary.” Paulet shook his head. “But for now, we will escort you back to your apartments.”

  I didn’t understand what was going on. Was this a test to see my reaction? To see if I would admit to anything? That would make sense if Henry was trying to look for deeper meaning in my words with Norris a few days ago. But then what about Mark? Why was he involved? And who was this mysterious third man I had supposedly been with?

  I was served dinner in my rooms and even Henry’s waiter was absent. He usually came to wish me a good meal from Henry. My ladies were silent as I ate, staring at me, until I’d completely lost my appetite. How they could expect me to eat at a time like this? It didn’t help that my servants looked like they were about to burst into tears.

  Did they know something I didn’t? But what could they know? There was nothing to know! No crime! Nothing had happened! How could anyone think differently?

  There was a knock at the door and I got automatically to my feet. My uncle had returned, but this time, he was in different company. As I strained to see, he stepped aside to reveal Cromwell and the captain of the King’s guard. This really was happening.

  As I searched for something to say, my eyes locked with Cromwell’s, and I could have sworn I saw him smile. That’s when the pieces finally fit into place. This was his doing; his revenge for my threat. It had to be.

  Rising from my table, I struggled to clear my throat. “Why have you come?”

  “This is the warrant for your arrest. We have come by the King’s command to conduct you to the Tower, there to abide during his Highness’s pleasure.” he unravelled the scroll as he spoke, my arrest warrant, but didn’t show it to me.

  “If it be his Majesty’s pleasure, I am ready to obey.” I answered, clenching my fists in an attempt to keep calm. Looking around the room, I asked, “Do I have time to pack? To see my daughter?” I needed to assure Elizabeth that she would see me again; that she shouldn’t believe whatever she would surely hear.

  “No, you will be provided for in the Tower.” he replied, ignoring my question about Elizabeth. It was obvious that I couldn’t. It didn’t matter anyway; I would be out before she knew it.

  I was escorted to the barge, walking through the palace and down the privy stairs to find it waiting for me. I then understood why I had to wait so long; they had to wait until the tide changed to escort me to the Tower. For some reason, that simple fact made it real.

  My uncle climbed in beside me, as well as Cromwell, and Sir William Kingston, the Constable of the Tower.

  “You can give this up now,” my uncle told me, “the men have confessed their guilt.”

  I didn’t give him the satisfaction of a reply. Instead, I looked about at our surroundings. It was daylight; prisoners were usually taken when it was dark, so people had gathered on the banks to watch. The prisoner in question, was also usually not the Queen.

  “I’m innocent, so they will soon see me leave again.” I said quietly, trying to convince myself as well as the others. Then, looking at Uncle, I changed my mind. “I want to see the King.” I stood up, wanting to somehow leave, but he pulled me back down again.

  “Tut tut.” he shook his head disapprovingly. “You should just confess your guilt; it will make things quicker for you.”

  My eyes travelled again to the people watching us on the banks, and I sighed. But then, by some strange impulse, my voice dropped and I spoke to no one in particular.

  “You could not prevent me from dying as their Queen.”

  Waiting at the Court Gate was the Lieutenant of the Tower, Sir Edmund Walsingham. As I walked up the steps to meet him, the cannon fired. It off balanced me for a moment, as I froze in surprise. The cannon meant that a person of noble rank had just been imprisoned. I was that person. How was I that person?

 

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