Nong had a job in Bangkok and only came to Hua Hin to visit her sister. When Nick asked if Kev fancied a trip to visit her, Kev agreed. The mention of Bangkok had jarred memories of their first visit together. He thought of the official they met at the Embassy. He planned to tell him what had happened in the jungle and ask for a meeting with someone who could give him advice. At least, he felt he should go on record, stating exactly what had happened and their role in it. In case anything came from the illegal trip.

  'I am happy to go with you on the bus to Bangkok, but you have to do something for me, okay?'

  'Sure, anything, but in return, you must promise to help me with Nong. To be honest, I'm not that good with girls,' moaned Nick.

  ‘We are going to the Embassy first thing. You donʼt need to say much. Agree with what I say, okay? Then the rest of the trip is yours.'

  'Why are we going to the Embassy? We did not leave a great impression last time.

  Before they left Barny’s, Kev spotted Roy sitting in the far corner with his arms wrapped around one of the staff. Kev was in two minds about whether to say hello. The chance of earning something from Roy was too good to miss.

  'Hi Roy, how are you?'

  'Kev, just the man, I need to see you.'

  Kev immediately thought of Roy marrying this new lady.

  'What can I do for you?' Kev didn’t want to mention weddings or ladyboys, he would let Roy tell him in his own time.

  'I’m buying the Star Bar. The owner decided running a pub was not for him. All his staff walked out on him, including Suzi. So he offered it to me. At a real bargain price as well.'

  Kev could imagine what a bargain it would be.

  Roy’s enthusiasm was contagious. His companion told Kev what she would change to make it the most popular bar in town.

  Kev almost ran away. But he couldn’t resist the chance to earn some money. It would be easy as he would pass this one straight to Skylab.

  Kev spent the rest of the day at the telephone exchange. Their office phone line had not yet been connected. It’s not that phones were new to Hua Hin. But the demand was growing quicker than anybody could have predicted. You would have to book your line and then wait many months for the connection.

  During Kev's call to the Embassy, he described the official they had spoken to. And as luck would have it they had put him through to his office.

  'Yes, I remember you and your big friend. It is not me you need, I only deal with mundane requests. The man you need is Mr Black.'

  Black’s secretary explained her boss was having a luncheon. Then she asked, 'What does it concern?'

  Kev was unsure what to say as he was in a room with four other people talking on private calls. Who knows who was listening, or was he getting spooked? He said he was worried and needed advice. To his surprise, he was booked to meet Mr Black tomorrow at 11 oʼclock prompt.

  They needed to catch the first (Blue) bus at 5 am. Nick was delighted they were going. Also, surprised that Kev had already purchased the tickets, with his own money. Although, unhappy with the timing, 5 in the morning!

  Kev explained they could get the Embassy business out of the way early. He reiterated the rest of the day and night was Nick’s, and he could choose what to do and where to do it.

  Before they went to Bangkok, there were a few things to tidy up. Since the fight, Skylab was not being her normal self, and Kev needed to get their relationship back on track.

  At their office, Kev explained to Dam and Skylab that he needed to go to the Embassy. To check about English people wanting to wed a Thai person in Thailand. That would cheer her up. It was not the whole truth, but Dam and Skylab could not hide their sunny smiles. It thrilled Kev that his idea worked. There were no comments about the boys spending a night in the big fun city.

  Skylab pulled Kev to one side.

  'I don’t like cheating, what you did in the ring was very unsporting. Also, I don’t want to see you get hurt! Please do nothing dangerous like that again.'

  'I have no plans to put myself in harm’s way, don’t worry.'

  The alarm clock sounded, and as soon as they showered, the tidy and clean pair went to the bus station. Nick’s new haircut won him a few jokey comments from Kev. As did his choice of clothing, shorts and a t-shirt.

  'Haven’t you got anything else to wear?'

  Kev looked business-like, with long trousers and a pressed shirt.

  Hua Hin was silent that early. The fishermen had already left the shores in chase of their catch, and it was still too early for the market traders. So it amazed him that Dam and Skylab were there to see them off and wish the pair good luck. The blown kisses bought a tear to Kevʼs eye. The last thing he wanted was for Nick to notice the moisture surrounding his eyes. He was now feeling a little guilty about his deception. No problem, he now had something else to do at the Embassy. To find out about Thai weddings, and how to make them legal in the UK.

  They had no time to check in at their favourite hostelry, the Miami Hotel. So they had to carry their overnight bags with them to the Embassy. They moved through security; it had been tightened since their last visit. The bags were stashed safely for collection on their way out later.

  'Look young lady .....' they could hear raised voices along the corridor.

  'Don’t you young lady me. I’m here trying to do my job. I am preparing a story for the British people, a story the educated masses will love. Why can’t you give me the information I need?'

  'I asked you to close the office door, and I don’t want the whole of Bangkok to hear what I have to say.'

  The door slammed shut.

  A tall, graceful girl in her mid-twenties breezed through the outer office. She had a half-hidden smile. Her long, thin legs were clothed in tight-fitting leather. Her skimpy top was even more tight-fitting. The blonde knew of the effect she had on men.

  Black moved to his office door, opened it, and signalled his next guests to enter. He hastily tucked a business card into his trouser pocket.

  A very sombre Mr Black greeted them, showing them through to his office. Coffee was served and Mr Black started by saying how glad he was to meet them. Was there a trace of sarcasm in his voice? It seemed not, as he asked if they could be his eyes in Hua Hin.

  'What exactly does that mean?' asked Nick. Kev kicked his shins under the desk. He took over the conversation.

  ‘We asked to see you about something we experienced and need your advice.' Kev prepared to carry on and report the whole experience.

  'Yes, yes! Kaeng Krachan.'

  'But how do you know about that?'

  'In the fullness of time, you’ll know how and why, but not just yet.'

  As for Kev and Nick, to say it surprised them would have been what they commonly call an underestimate. What followed shocked them.

  'Obviously, as an Embassy we know your full names and birth dates. We also know Nicholas, your father retired early from his building job. Because of a back injury, your mother has worked in a bakery for 10 years. You have no criminal record. But once arrested and released. You smashed up a customer’s garage that you had just built, as the owner did not pay you. Both you and the garage owner shook hands and charges were dropped. You, Kevin, were arrested twice at Tottenham Hotspur matches, with no charges, and no other record. Your father is a salesman, your mother works in a newsagent. Anything else I should know?'

  'Yes, I want to get married!'

  'Let’s keep to the subject shall we.' Mr Black became even sterner.

  He said, 'Kevin, you tell me what happened at Kaeng Krachan, and I mean everything.'

  This would be a much longer meeting than the boys had expected. The retelling of their visit to the jungle was interrupted by a knock at the door.

  'Come.' Shouted Black. In stepped a Thai, whose face was familiar.

  'Good morning, sir! Lovely day isn’t it? Good morning, to you both. You may remember me from Khun Patcharinʼs establishment, you know her as Ying.'

  It turned out that the well-spoken Thai had been getting information. A case he and Black were working on. He was in Hua Hin meeting the fledgeling business community. He pretended to be a well-connected businessman. Someone wishing to invest in the tourism sector. The aim was to find information. Anything relating to a British citizen to a gang selling arms to Burmese insurgents. Jan had proved useless.

  This man was called Khun Sombat. He would be their contact, and they were expected to make another visit to the jungle. This time, to find out much, much more.

  'About my wedding?' asked Kev.

  As they were shown to Mr Black’s door.

  The secretary had a handful of papers on weddings in The Kingdom which she gave to Kev. How does she do that? Both men wondered.

  They checked into the Miami Hotel. Both deep in thought, Kev on what lay in store for the next trip to the jungle. Nick had more immediate plans. They both thought they needed to talk to their friend at the same moment. As they rushed out of their rooms, they crashed into each other in the corridor as both spoke simultaneously.

  'I need some new trousers!' started Nick.

  'I'm scared about meeting those guys again.'

  Chapter 11 GO, GO, STOP, STOP!

  NICK WAS UNHAPPY WITH his appearance. He decided long trousers should be worn instead of the shorts he always wore. Kev, sporting a look that said, 'I told you so.'

  In Bangkok, a city full of shops, buying a smart (ish) outfit would be easy. Not too expensive, but decent enough to woo the girl of your dreams, unfortunately not so. Shop after shop had nothing to suit. Some had male staff, some had female staff, and some even had “ladyboy” staff shaking their heads—nothing to fit a man of that size. The only answer was to get fitted at a tailor. The problem was a lack of time. The original plan for the evening was shopping, food, and two beers and then surprise Nong at her place of work.

  Instead, they hurried into the first tailor shop they saw. Like most tailors in Bangkok, it was staffed by Indians or Nepalese. They made very extravagant promises. But they were stumped. Even these guys had nothing to offer when they were told a pair of trousers and a shirt for Nick in under two hours.

  'Oh! No Sir, I’m very sorry.'

  A deep intake of breath, followed by a shake of the head, then.

  'Wait, a moment, please. My friend can do it!'

  'Do you believe him?' Kev whispered.

  'Kev, remember your promise. Up to me this evening. I do believe in miracles!'

  So off they went in search of Mr Lightening, tailor to the stars.

  'He had better be lightning,' thought Kev.

  They found a derelict Soi behind Sukhumvit Road. Tailor to the stars was halfway along—the only shop with lights on. The rest of the buildings looked ready to be knocked down, or fall down, whichever was quicker.

  'Good evening, gentlemen! My friend Abdul telephoned me and told me you were coming and explained your dilemma. No one, not even me, ‘Tailor to the Starsʼ, can make you a shirt and trousers in such a short time.'

  He carried on after seeing the disappointment on Nick’s face.

  'But, I can make alterations to a suit I made for a DJ in the VietNam war. They killed him. Not because of his taste in clothes or the music he played. Or his lack of a decent suit.'

  'Christ, a dead man’s suit which has to be decades old,' said Kev under his breath.

  'Let us have a look, please.' Nick was almost pleading by this stage.

  Out it came - the material was okay, but it had very skinny-looking thighs on the trousers.

  'No problem, sir. I can alter the legs.'

  'How do you make the material bigger?' Was the unspoken thought Kev pondered.

  'Come back in one hour, all finished,' said the smiling tailor.

  After a quick measure up, they left the tailor to his work. Nick is hopeful, and Kev expecting the worst!

  An hour later, they returned.

  'One more extra hour please, sir.'

  A crestfallen Nick did not see the upside, but Kev said, 'one more hour of beer!' Off they walked again.

  In exactly one hour they returned, and a smiling Mr Lightning said, 'all finished, sir.' As he held out his hand for 3,000 Baht!

  'My God, you can buy 3 suits for that,' said Nick, who was out of practice shopping. In his determination to get fitted, he had forgotten to ask the price first.

  'Better look at it and try it on, or wear it now, it’ll save you going back to the hotel.'

  'It fits. What do you think, Kev?'

  'Wow, that looks great, however did he do that?'

  Armed with a carrier bag containing his old gear. Nick walked proudly with his head held high. He marched along Sukhumvit Road, looking for Soi 4, the side street called Soi Nana.

  Kev felt happy for his mate, hoping the rest of the evening would go as well.

  Unbeknown to Kev, Nong had not been told they were coming. Nick had let this piece of information slip by. He had hoped to surprise the girl. In his love blindness, he didn’t think she may have other plans. This could be a problem, Nong could be busy entertaining.

  They opened the door to “Falang Connection”, a trendy bar. The noise knocked them off their feet. Lights were flashing multi-coloured beams all around the ceiling and walls. A very charming girl greeted them with a beaming smile, matching the beaming lights.

  'Do you know Nong?' asked Nick.

  The meeter/greeter girl nodded to the raised platform. And there she was. Clad in a tiny white bikini, dancing to the throb of the music.

  As soon as she saw Nick, she jumped off the stage and disappeared out the back. Nick could not be sure if one or two girls followed her. The lads knew where she worked, and that she worked in a popular bar. They both thought she was the cashier, not a dancing girl.

  None of this mattered to Nick, but to Kev, it spelt trouble.

  The two girls that had followed Nong to the changing room, reappeared. They pushed a drunken patron outside and joined Nick and Kev. They showed the boys to a table and took their order. One girl went to the bar while the other said Nong would be out in a minute or two.

  The beer arrived at the same time as Nong. All three of the dancing girls were now dressed in civvies. Kev offered the girls a lady's drink. A “lady's drink” in these types of establishments is given to staff by customers to make new friends. The drink is often Pepsi or Orangina, with a splash of cheap alcohol.

  Nick looked anxious. Kev thought this was because Nong was dancing and not behind the cashier’s desk. Or, he had noticed the ‘customerʼ being shunted out of the door.

  'Kev, I'm afraid I’ve got a problem.'

  Dead right thought Kev. Nick pulled him across and whispered in his ear.

  'My trousers split when I sat down.'

  Not only were they split, but they had also come apart at the seams!

  Luckily Nick still carried his bag. Using it to cover his embarrassment. He shuffled off to the toilets, as the new strides fell completely to bits. He dispatched the bottom half of his 3,000 Baht outfit to join the paper tissue which filled the bin. Once again dressed in his comfortable shorts, Nick rejoined the table. The girls raised eyebrows in a query but thought twice about questioning Nick.

  'I’m gonna kill that Indian tomorrow,' he whispered.

  It was getting late now, so Kev returned to the hotel. He refused Nongʼs friend’s offer to go with him.

  Kev had a lot of thinking to do.

  Chapter 12 LUCKY ESCAPE FOR NICK

  KEV FELL SOLIDLY AND soundly asleep. He was so tired from the day’s activity, not forgetting the very early start. He now awoke bright and with a clear head at ten oʼclock. Thinking Nick would be ‘occupied’, he ate breakfast in the small coffee shop. Entering an otherwise empty cafe, he saw the sad sight of a big man in a slump. Poor old Nick looked a mess. Still in last night’s clothes, he had nothing else to change into. His hair and beard were aiming in all directions, with empty coffee mugs all around him, as he slept on folded arms. Kev left him there while he built up the strength he felt he would need with a hearty breakfast.

  Disappointment landed on the table. The toast was barely warm. It was white and made of thin bread; the sausages were an inch long, and pink, but the eggs and the bacon were great. Hot steaming coffee arrived as Nick stirred.

  'Good morning mate, let me eat this and then tell me all about it. Looking at you, I feel you need to gather your wits and strength?'

  Nick, as Kev predicted, would need a few minutes to get himself together. He needed food. Nick ordered two breakfasts, no more coffee, but a large pot of tea.

  To surmise, it did not go well with Nong. She has a Canadian boyfriend who sends her monthly money. Therefore, she did not need to work or take on private “customers”. But she likes the friendship of the other girls at the bar and enjoys living in Bangkok.

  Nick said, 'On a scale of 0 to 10, my chance of making Nong my long-term girlfriend is about minus five.' He continued, 'She went off with her friend about ten minutes after you left. As you can imagine, I was unhappy, so I visited the tailors.'

  'Oh, no,' wailed Kev.

  'Donʼt worry, I did nothing as much as I felt like it. He was not there, in fact, his shop was not there! All closed up and gone. A drunken Brit told me they would knock the Soi down and build condos starting today.'

  Nick scratched his beard.

  'I needed more beer, and could not wake you, so I went for a wander and found a place called ‘Thermaeʼ or something like that. Yes, and guess who was in there?'

  'Don’t tell me it was Skylab?'

  'No, don’t be daft. Remember the gingery blonde at the Embassy? She was arm-in-arm with a Thai lass. When she saw me, she dumped the girl and asked me what we were doing. She had a lot of questions, and I was glad to be rid of her. I thought she would never stop with the inquisition. Other than her, you would have loved it in that bar, full of characters like me.' He cheered at the memory, only briefly.

 

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