Rob grant, p.3
The Silent Midwinter, page 3
It’s hard to resist someone who makes you feel so special, so wanted. Sadness washes through me. What am I to Jon now? Was I always just being used as his daughter’s carer? My previous husband left me as I couldn’t give him children. One failed IVF attempt and he was out the door and off with someone else. Yes, that hurt. And once more I find myself not feeling loved for me. Wallowing in a hangover of self-pity is not helping. I need to talk to him – and I will. As soon as I feel less like vomiting.
‘C’mon Fizzy. Let’s get home.’
Chapter Six
Gregg
Damn it, she’s freakishly strong, Gregg wrestles with the seventeen-year-old, trying to pin her arms behind her back. She’s slippery though and manages to release an arm, spin around and boot him in the shin. She loses her footing and stumbles backwards. Gregg strikes her head, forcing her down. He seizes the upper hand now to pin her down, pushing her face into the dirt. With the other hand, he whips out his knife and holds it to her face. He didn’t think he’d need the knife. He underestimated the fight in a young woman. It’s not a story to retell the others.
She lay still for a moment, sobbing to be let go. Gregg quickly checks out his surroundings. No one around. It’s a quiet lay-by just off the main car park to the woods, but it’s the middle of the day. There could be a sodding dog walker at any time, he panics. It should have just been a quick grab and run. Grooming and luring them to a location was easier. They came to him. Easy. But that takes time, and he was pushed for it. He forces the girl up and marches her to the back of the van, pulling the door open, maintaining a firm grip on her. She screams. Gregg forces his gloved hand around her mouth and bundles her inside the van. He releases the pressure from her mouth so he can grab the rope. The girl clamps her teeth into his wrist, biting hard. Gregg yelps out, pulling the teen’s head back with force. She screams again. Gregg punches her in the face and gets his knife to her throat. He’s got her cornered now and gets the rope around her wrists. He then tapes up her mouth.
Falling back on his bum for a moment with relief at the restrained young woman, he inspects the blood seeping from the teeth marks. ‘Damn it,’ he curses. He took a last look at the wide-eyed girl and slips out from the back of the van. He slams the doors shut and checks his surroundings again. Quiet. He looks carefully. Definitely no one around. He jumps into the driver’s side and starts the ignition. He’s about to pull away but his phone rings. It’s Riley.
‘Riley, what’s up?’
‘Word’s in that Jason Sawyer has been granted his appeal.’
‘You don’t need to worry about that.’
‘He can’t get out. Do you hear me?’
‘He won’t. The evidence was stacked against him.’
‘But he’s been granted his damn appeal.’
‘What can I do?’
‘We’ll talk. But one way or another, he’s not coming out. Oh, and Gregg… the girl?’
‘I have her with me right now.’
‘Good. We have an order for another so sort it.’
‘I gotta get movin’. Talk later.’
Gregg hangs up and inspects his hand again. “Sort it,” he mimics. Where’s the please and the thanks? He thumps the steering wheel before pulling away. He prays that he wasn’t seen and no one heard the brat scream. Next time he’ll do it his way.
Chapter Seven
Jon greets me when I get home with a smile and a peck on the cheek. This takes me by surprise, he can’t be too cross with me then.
‘How was the session?’ he asks, giving Felicity a big hug.
‘It went well. The therapist is going to arrange a family team building activity for us,’ I say.
‘Sounds good,’ he says as he lets Fizz go and watches as she skips from the kitchen.
I pour myself a glass of water, willing my headache to leave me. I’m ready to crawl back to bed.
‘Hangover?’ Jon asks with some tone of sarcasm.
I merely nod, waiting for the lecture.
‘You were funny last night.’ He winks at me. ‘Starting to strip and offering to have me on the couch, whilst falling over was quite something.’
Oh God I did. I threw myself at my husband. Which should’ve been fine, but he sat me on the sofa and went off to bed. I think within minutes, I had curled up and passed out. At some point I had made it upstairs to bed though.
Jon puts his arms around me and I place my heavy head against his chest.
‘We should make more time for each other, but perhaps not in the middle of the night and not when you’re half-cut.’ Jon quietly speaks in my ear.
It’s like my hangover has just melted away. My stomach flutters for the first time in a long time. Perhaps he does still think of me in that way after all. Perhaps he does still love me. I shouldn’t doubt him. He works hard, he has a high-pressured job, and two daughters who present different challenges. I admit that perhaps I don’t make enough effort with him either. After all, when was the last time that I suggested making love to my husband or got dressed up for him or suggested we go out somewhere just the two of us? It shouldn’t wait until all my insecurities bubble over after a cocktail-infused night out.
Jon kisses the top of my head and suggests that I go for a lie-down and he’ll bring me up a coffee. This is music to my ears and I gladly agree.
‘Dad, I know wh–’ Harper bursts into the kitchen and freezes at the sight of us hugging. She turns to leave.
‘Harper wait. Well, what is it?’ her dad asks.
She holds back in the doorway, ‘I know what I’d like as a treat for finishing my exams.’
‘Go on then, how much will it cost me?’ Jon laughs.
‘I want my lip pierced.’
Jon mocks looking horrified but then laughs. ‘Yes, you can have your lip done. You’re already starting to look like the undead. You may as well.’
Harper looks insulted but then grins and hurries back to her room. No doubt she’ll be straight on the phone to Callum to tell him the good news, I smile. Jon is in a good mood this morning which I couldn’t feel more thankful for right now, especially with a hangover from hell. We all need a weekend of peace. That will have certainly put a smile on Harper’s face anyway. But then I remember. The hotel. He spent the night in a country hotel in Devon when he said he was on business in London. I need to ask him, but I don’t want to ruin the moment. Funny, isn’t it, how he’s the one that has lied yet I’m the one that doesn’t want to rock the boat? No, I’m not going to bring it up now; I’m going to enjoy the relaxed atmosphere, get rid of this hangover and broach the subject later.
‘Oh, by the way, I’m out for dinner this evening.’ Jon pipes up just as I’m about to finally get back to bed.
‘What? Since when?’
‘Last minute thing, a business dinner, as Alan wants to go over strategies.’
‘On a Saturday night? But we were having a takeaway night.’
‘You can still do that. Have a girls’ night without me.’
‘Fine, it’s okay. I need to have lie down. I’ll help sort lunch in an hour.’
I head upstairs, my head feeling heavier suddenly. Is this why he’s in a good mood? What is he really doing? I stop outside Fizz’s bedroom and listen in. She’s chatting away to herself – probably acting out something with her dolls and horses set. I don’t tire of listening in on her when she’s alone in her room. It’s the only time she feels uninhibited. I really would do anything for that special girl. I look up with a start as Harper opens her bedroom door. She sees me and retreats into her room, closing the door with force. I rub my forehead and shut myself away in my own sanctuary. Girls’ night. Somehow, I think our girls’ night will consist of us shutting ourselves away in our rooms.
My bed embraces me as I press my head into the pillow. Just an hour, I just need an hour. My body aches with fatigue from head to foot. I’m sure that there was a time I could party all night and then manage a day’s work with none of my joints hurting. Mala has a lot to answer for. Never again. I reach for my phone and scroll through Facebook, my eyes feeling heavy. A few minutes of this and I’ll be out like a baby. But my eyes are now wide open. I’ve stopped on a news post with a picture of Jason Sawyer. His appeal has been approved. I read on with interest. Jason has always maintained his innocence after being accused of stabbing a man called Michael Bennet to death. He admitted to stabbing the man in the upper shoulder in self-defence before fleeing the scene and calling the police. He stabbed the man once, yet when the police arrived the victim had numerous stab wounds and was dead at the scene. Forensics found the knife which was used and only Jason’s prints were on the weapon. However, forensics brought to light that the majority of the stab wounds were made with a different knife. The jury were not convinced at the trial and Jason was sent down for life. Jason has now won the right to appeal and for the evidence to be re-evaluated.
I sit up and read it all again. What if he is innocent? I’m unnerved at how much I hope that he is. What should it matter to me? I refuse to believe that I have a crush on an inmate. I don’t. It’s definitely not that. Perhaps that’s why Anna West still loves him, because she believes that he is innocent. Makes sense, right? She’s standing by her man because he hasn’t killed anyone. But he did have a knife on him and was capable of stabbing Michael at least once. He must have been involved in something dodgy. Anna has put in her letters to Jason enough times that she’ll never give up on him. Anna is filling my thoughts again now with her intimate pictures. I don’t want to but I have to admit it to myself. It’s not Jason that’s making me feel uncomfortable. It’s Anna West. I’m curious about her and I feel like I can’t let it go. She’s there all the time. I have to know who she is.
Chapter Eight
‘But we had pizza yesterday.’ I mock a frown at Felicity whose eyes are sparkling. ‘What do you fancy Harper?’ I raise my voice a notch to be heard through the teenager’s earphones. She just shrugs.
‘Answer Kate.’ Jon snaps, removing Harper’s earphones for her.
‘Hey.’ She snaps back.
‘Fizz wants pizza. That okay with you?’ I try to keep my cool.
‘Yes,’ Harper replies curtly putting her earphones back in place.
‘I’ll get the usual then shall I,’ now feeling like I’m talking to no one in particular. Jon pecks me on the cheek and says he won’t be in late.
‘Where is it you’re going?’
‘The Castle Inn. Nothing fancy, just a quick business meeting with Alan over some pub grub.’ With that, he swipes up his keys and says that he won’t be back late again and off he goes.
I sit down at the table opposite Harper and pull the pizza menu up on my phone and start selecting items. Harper scrapes her chair back and heads out of the kitchen. I sigh but I’m not surprised. The image of a girls’ night in where we’re all giggling over pizza and watching a movie together was never going to be one that was going to materialise. Fizz looks over my shoulder and asks if she can have one of those squidgy chocolate chip cookies. I add it to the basket with a smile. I have Fizzy at least.
‘Shall we paint our nails tonight?’ I ask her.
She nods, twirls around a few times in a circle, and skips from the room. I complete the order and watch the little timer pop up, telling me that our order will be with us in thirty minutes. I still can’t say I’m very hungry. It really will be the last time that I drink that much. It was a bit inconsiderate of me when I had to be out of the house so early with Fizz. It’s rare though that I don’t put everyone else’s needs first. That I chose to have some fun for me, yet Jon does it without batting an eyelid. He just comes and goes as he pleases without feeling any weight of responsibility, so it seems.
It is unusual for Jon to need to dash out for a business dinner on a Saturday night. I can’t think of a time that’s happened before. His good mood this morning felt unusual too. I would doubt him though, wouldn’t I, after discovering he has lied? This is why I should just ask him about the hotel. If there was a good explanation, then I wouldn’t be sitting here doubting his every move and mood. But that doesn’t help my paranoia now though, does it? Has he really gone out with Alan? I pick up my phone again and without thinking it through I call Mala.
‘Hey what’s up?’ she chirps.
‘Are you free? Just for half an hour or so?’
‘Yeah just about. I’m meeting Tom at eight. Why?’
‘The guy from last night?’
‘This girl doesn’t waste time, you know that,’ Mala laughs.
‘Look anyway, I’m sorry to ask this but could you come pick me up, take me to The Castle Inn. I just want to see if Jon is in there. It won’t take long… please?’
‘Sure, but why do you need me for that? You’ve lost me.’
‘I don’t want to risk Jon seeing my car. I don’t want him to know I’m spying on him. Could you go inside and see if he’s there with Alan like he should be?’
‘A secret mission? Hell yes, count me in sister. I’ll be with you ASAP.’
I hang up and take a breath. This won’t take long and then I can relax for the evening. I’m sure that he’ll be there with Alan and then I’ll talk to him tomorrow about the hotel and then I can stop feeling like this suspicious wife. It’s not something that I’m enjoying. I head upstairs and cautiously knock on Harper’s bedroom door. She throws the door open, her rock music blaring out. She has put on dark plum lipstick and thick lines of eyeliner. It actually looks quite striking on her pale complexion. She is a beauty even though she hates to be told so.
‘I need to pop out just for ten mins. I said I’d help Mala with a quick job. Can you just watch Fizz and open the door to the pizza guy? I honestly won’t be long.’ It’s not something that I ask Harper to do much of – babysitting. With Felicity unable to communicate with others, it’s a worry should there ever be an emergency. It’s a big responsibility for a sixteen-year-old who has emotional issues of her own at the best of times.
‘Yeah sure,’ she nods and closes the door.
I knock on the door again, ‘You’ll need to turn the music down so you can hear the front door.’
I’m surprised that the music actually turns off so I’m feeling less on edge. I really won’t be gone long. I have to do this for my own sanity. I run down the stairs and slip on my shoes. I poke my head around the living room door and explain to Fizz that I’m popping out and that I’ll be back to paint our nails very soon. She looks happy watching Frozen, which must be for the millionth time. I hear the beep of a horn and rush out to meet Mala.
‘I really can’t be long,’ I gasp, breathless from just jogging from the front door to the end of the driveway.
‘Buckle up sister.’ Mala grins. ‘So have you not asked him about the hotel?’
‘Not yet. I can’t. I don’t want to risk an argument and upset Fizz and not to mention Harper is on the warpath. I’m waiting for the right time.’
‘How many times! You are everything to those girls. Don’t let him take you for granted. Just have it out with him. You have to consider your own feelings and needs too.’
‘I know. I hate all of this suspicion… I mean, look at me now. Look at what we’re doing.’
‘It’s cool, you gotta do what you gotta do.’
‘Anyway so… Hot date tonight huh?’
‘If he’s lucky it’ll be scorchin’ hot.’
We both laugh, and I relax. A couple of minutes later, we are pulling into The Castle Inn car park. I duck down like some criminal on the run, hiding from the law. Mala simply shakes her head at me and steps out of the car, saying she’ll be back shortly. I sit up a little and look around the car park. I can’t see his car. He would be here by now; he had a good head start. Even if he was picking Alan up on the way, he’d be here by now. I duck down again, my heart beating that bit faster. It seems to be taking too long. Hurry up Mala. She should have just walked in, seen him straight away and walked out. What if he’s stopped her to chat? I can only hope that she’s come up with a good reason to be there on her own. We hadn’t discussed this scenario. I trust Mala. I know she’ll be quick thinking.
The driver’s door opening makes me jump. Mala slides in.
‘He ain’t there.’
‘What?’
‘I looked around the whole pub and did a second lap to be sure. I checked in the smoking area outside too. He ain’t there.’
I’m speechless. Despite my doubts, I was sure I’d be wrong. I needed to be wrong. My eyes sting.
‘Okay,’ Mala says sternly. ‘Don’t go freakin’ out yet. They may have decided to go elsewhere last-minute.’
‘But they booked a table.’
‘Plans can still change. Just talk to him yeah.’
I nod through the bile rising in my throat. Mala leans over and hugs me. I’m grateful for it. I don’t know what I’d do without her. She starts the car up. Now I have to get back and push it out of my head and try and enjoy the rest of the night with Fizzy. I’m trying to think rationally but it’s no good. He’s having an affair; I know he is.
Chapter Nine
Harper
Just be ten minutes. Yeah right, Harper scoffs to herself as she closes the door to the pizza delivery man. She calls Felicity to the kitchen and starts to unpack the boxes.
‘Margherita for you,’ she says, sliding the pizza over to her younger sister. ‘Double pepperoni for me.’
Harper inhales the meaty and cheese aroma. She moves her stepmum’s BBQ chicken over to the side. She doesn’t care if it goes cold – serves her right. So much for a family takeaway night. Sitting opposite her sister at the table, she asks her if her pizza tastes good. Felicity nods, licking her lips.
‘So, you’re watching Frozen again?’ Harper quizzes her.
Felicity nods again.
‘Did Kate tell you where she was really going?’
