The wicked instruments b.., p.28
The Wicked Instruments Books 1-4, page 28
“That’s great, I’m even helping you remember things,” Tear chuckled to himself. “You can send her back with the same command.”
“Send her back? I’m taking her everywhere!” Leanna insisted. “Oh, and it’s a girl pegasus? Yay!”
“At least I made you feel better,” Tear said. “Pegacow.”
The pegasus shrunk back into the statue and disappeared into the tall grass. Leanna danced around, hunting for the statue and snatching it up the moment she found it. She clasped the tiny statue to her breast and spun around with it.
“I’m glad you like it.”
“Best present ever! But...what do you think Jonathan wants now?” Leanna asked, walking with Tear back towards the front of the inn.
“It’s hard to say,” Tear replied. “I mean, no reason not to think he’s still got a thing for you.”
“Never going to happen,” Leanna affirmed.
“Love makes us do dumb things, Leanna. For example, Heather decided for lunch, she would challenge that stupid dwarf to a drinking contest, to break the ice between him and me.”
“But she’s little,” Leanna said.
“I tried explaining that to her. She didn’t listen. Then she lost. Now, she’s in my pocket, probably asleep for the rest of the day, unless she comes out and starts cursing at me for cutting her off.”
Leanna laughed. “You cut her off?”
“I had to. She was wandering around through the inn, invisible, putting little bits of strawberries into people’s ears. She almost made a fight break out,” Tear replied.
Leanna reached for the handle to Jack Baxter’s Place. “If that’s what love is, I’ll stick with my protégé.”
She walked inside the inn with Tear and caught sight of James. He was sitting at a table in the corner of the room, his brow furrowed as he struggled to make sounds come out of his mandolin that were not ear-shattering. The noise he produced was offensive. Leanna squinted and found that he was trying to play a song using her bar of soap as a pick.
“What? What are you doing?” Leanna demanded.
“You told me to practice, and use this,” James said, jumping out of his chair like a scolded dog. He tried to approach Leanna, but doubled back and wiped his chair with an elbow, then began saying a quick prayer to himself.
“You’re fired,” Leanna said, incredulous. “You’re so completely fired. Tear, I’m going to go to my room now to have a long cry. If you need me, that’s where I’ll be.”
Incidents and Accidents
Assured that the Church of Epi Fanny was compliant with the Soft, Trixi and the party slipped out of town without ceremony. Alicia was responsible for the conversion of Bruin, though slaying Weevil and his Holy Juggernaut made that job simple. Since the group decided on a direct route to Kingsfield, they were taking the less-used roads around the massive forest known as the Grove of Ancients.
The Grove of Ancients was more than a simple forest. The inhabitants, some many hundreds of years old, gained knowledge from the sentient trees that stood at the center of the forest. Hunter and prey alike were magically granted a simple basis of communication and enough intelligence to understand their world on a deeper level. This led to many a philosophical debate on nature itself. Wolves usually took the stance that there would always be a creature of lesser value and that the strong would survive through consuming the weak. The deer were stoic pacifists that argued every creature had inherent value, and the truest test of one’s self was to live in harmony with all creatures. Their position was compelling, particularly to those that felt undervalued and disenfranchised in the forest. When this argument popped up every few decades, the wolves proved their point by hunting down and eating the deer almost to extinction and getting everyone back to the business of being chipmunks and fish. Nature didn’t like unionizing anymore than human nobles did.
The inner roads that ran in a continuous circle around the grove branched out and reconnected with the well-travelled and more populated roads that connected Kingsfield to Midburg and Southvale, and Saul to Southvale through Bruin. Travelers avoided the areas where the grove came near to the road, and give it a wide berth. Sante made the party aware of that as they walked along the road, the edge of the forest just a few paces away.
“So we shouldn’t be this close?” Tear asked.
“No,” Sante replied.
“Sounds like a load of crap,” Cort said.
“We need more snacks,” Leanna said, digging through her pack.
“It’s been almost a week out of Bruin. We’re out of snacks. Your best bet is maybe finding some berries,” Tear replied. He checked his pack for any more of his lovely banana chips from Midburg, but sharing them with Leanna’s snack cravings had depleted his supply.
“I could look for berries,” Heather offered.
“No, I’d rather you not get too close to the forest,” Tear said. “If Sante’s stories are true, we best keep our distance.”
“Fresh out of basic training, freshly married, and he’s the worldly one?” Cort asked.
“I’ll admit, I’ve never been in the forest myself,” Sante said. “But many in the Knight’s Guard have told stories of magic and witchcraft within that place.”
Trixi waved it all off. “It’s just campfire stories. Probably started by some cranky old man that lives in there and wants to be left alone.”
Tear halted and motioned to the trees. “You want to grab us some food? Be my guest.”
The priestess rolled her eyes and walked right off the road without hesitation.
“Priestess, no!” Sante shouted.
“Oh, c’mon, Sante,” Trixi replied over her shoulder. “You really think I would put my pilgrimage in danger if I thought there was anything here that could hurt me?”
The priestess stepped over loose branches and young saplings as the party watched on. Within moments of entering the dense forest, Trixi vanished from view. Sante stood at the edge of the road, arms crossed and tapping his foot.
“Priestess?”
“I’m still alive, geez,” Trixi shouted back from some distance. “I told you, it’s just a forest!”
After several minutes, Trixi emerged with both hands full. She walked back to the road and sat down, exposing her purple, juice-stained palms to the group and showing them a handful of ripe blackberries.
“They were growing all over in there, not forty paces in,” she said.
A clump of what looked like dirt was also in her hands. Trixi examined it and brushed it away.
“Mushroom.”
“Ooh, can I have some berries?” Leanna asked.
“If you eat them all, you’re going in there and getting some more,” Trixi warned.
“What gives you the right to those berries, though?”
The voice that spoke carried an accent not one member of the group possessed. They all looked around but found themselves still alone.
“Who speaks?” Sante challenged.
“Down here,” the voice called out again.
The party leaned in close to Trixi and looked down. The only thing there was the small, stained mushroom the priestess discarded.
“I know I started drinking early today, but everyone else thinks the mushroom is talking, right?” Cort asked.
“I speak,” the mushroom confirmed, though no one could be certain where it spoke from. “I speak for the forest, as a matter of fact.”
“Why?” Tear asked.
“Someone has to, do they not?”
“Great question,” Trixi replied with a sigh. “Who wants berries?”
“I do!” Leanna held out her hands.
“You did not answer the question, though. Again, I would ask: what gives you the right to those berries?”
“Listen, mushroom,” Trixi said. “I don’t mean any offense, but I really want to enjoy a little afternoon snack before we get back on the road, and you’re killing me here.”
“Those berries were intended to supplant the life of the forest, though,” the mushroom explained. “You have no right to be taking them out of the forest. I’m not all that pleased you planned to leave me here, ripped from my home, either.”
Trixi poured the berries into her lap, picked up the mushroom, and pitched it over her shoulder with everything she had.
“There, everybody wins,” the priestess said.
Tear squatted down and waited his turn after Leanna helped herself to some berries. He handed one to Heather, what would be quite a meal for the pixie. She didn’t take it from him, though, and instead pointed and tapped on his shoulder. The elf looked back at the forest, and his mouth fell open in surprise.
“New problem, guys,” Tear said.
Everyone shifted their attention to the forest. Three white mushrooms with orange caps, each the size of a dwarf, walked out of the forest on roots that looked like tendrils. They each held onto a spear fashioned from fallen branches, held in tentacle-like arms.
“Now you’re going to get it,” the voice of the small mushroom shouted out from the forest.
“Oh, I am so done with this,” Trixi exclaimed, bowing her head.
“No,” Tear said, grabbing her hands. “Let’s not have any more of your god’s random ‘I’m not paying that much attention’ magic, okay?”
“Well, three of them, one of me. I like those odds,” Cort said, reach for his axe.
“You see that? You see what they did? They’re oppressing me,” the small mushroom yelled out.
“We will not permit your transgressions against the forest,” one of the mushrooms said.
“Decency and the right to exist is within all life on this world,” another said.
“You’re threatening us with spears,” Tear reminded.
“Such is the paradox,” another mushroom bemoaned. “To achieve peace and equilibrium, certain outliers must be culled from nature. Pruned, if you will.”
Leanna clicked open her guitar case and took out her instrument. She settled it on her lap across from Trixi and looked over the priestess’ shoulder to get a good view of the mushroom knights. She started a magical song with a disapproving glare.
Her song crafted together an illusion, as glowing white strings fired out to the grassy side of the road. An enormous fork with arms and legs, pulled straight from her imagination, came into being.
“Excuse me. I’m Leanna Moonbody. If you don’t own those berries, I would really like some more,” she said.
The mushrooms glanced at the giant fork that materialized a few steps away.
“Are you threatening us?”
“I’m saying,” Leanna replied. “I would like those berries if you’re not eating them.”
“We are mushroom. We do not consume berries.”
“Then perhaps you should take Tiny back there and keep your nose out of our business so I can have my snack! I get cranky walking in this stupid heat, and I’m not about to have my favorite meal of the day ruined by stew seasoning!” Leanna shouted.
With that, the fork gave chase at the mushroom knights, who immediately turned and sped back into the forest. The fork clanked and ran in right behind them until the whole group vanished into the forest.
“Oh, wouldn’t that just figure,” the small mushroom called out. “The great and strong hunter class using force to prevent their just comeuppance! You shall see! Soon we shall gather as one voice, in numbers greater than yours! Then we’ll see whose back is against the wall!”
“Can someone just eat that thing or something? He’s so annoying,” Trixi said.
Another voice spoke from behind the group.
“This is what the big deal was all about? Them?”
The party spun around to find three men behind them. On the right was a dark haired, lithe man with a strong jaw and toned muscles. On the left was a tanned, mountain of a man, taller and wider than Sante. His black hair fell to shoulder length, while a bandana kept his locks out of his eyes. Between the pair stood Jonathan Twilight.
“You!” Sante shouted, going right for him.
The large man stepped in front of Jonathan. Sante got close enough to press noses with the big man, neither one backing down or giving an inch.
“Stand aside, sir. This man knows what he has coming,” Sante informed.
“Sante, calm down,” Jonathan said. “I bring urgent news from Kingsfield. Things all of you need to hear.”
The paladin was committed to going through the big man to get to Jonathan, but Leanna’s hand on his shoulder broke his resolve. He gave only a step back.
“Hunk, stand down,” the lithe man instructed.
The big guy obeyed and stepped back, revealing Jonathan to the group again. He was still in his finest clothes, with his white, bell-cuffed shirt and brown vest adorned with Tear’s tracking brooch.
“You don’t deserve to be in My Lady’s presence,” Sante spoke through gnashed teeth.
“Perhaps not, but my aim for months has been to protect her, and I have no plans on stopping now.”
Jonathan removed the brooch from his lapel and handed it to Tear. “This belongs to you.”
“Is there a threat to Leanna?” Tear asked, curious as he snatched back the magical brooch Jonathan wasn’t supposed to be able to remove.
“To her directly? No, of course not. I’ve been promoted to head of the Thieves’ Guild after the untimely death of Kipling,” Jonathan replied.
“Wait, you run the entire guild of thieves in Kingsfield?” Cort asked, shocked.
“No, Cort, the whole thing. Our world headquarters is in Kingsfield. Good to see you again, by the way.”
Cort nodded. “Seems like you must be doing alright these days.”
“Indeed. I’m now one of the ten most powerful and wealthy men in the world,” Jonathan explained. “As a matter of fact, I’m second in Kingsfield only to Lord Robert Venegrass...the reason why I’m here.”
“Oh, no,” Leanna whined. “First you come back here, and now you’re telling me Heather’s arrow didn’t work?”
Jonathan shrugged. “I can’t say if it did or didn’t. What I can say is that he’s turned himself into some kind of hermit, holed up in his manor. It’s thrown the entire city into an uproar.”
Tear crossed his arms. “How so?”
“You know I’m still here,” the mushroom reminded. “Pretending the voice of the forest doesn’t exist does not silence it!”
“I’m going to burn this forest down,” Trixi fumed, getting up and looking around. “If I can’t find you, I’ll just burn everything!”
The priestess wandered around the grass off the road, looking for the wayward mushroom. Everyone else returned their attention back to Jonathan.
“Well, the Council is nothing but a bunch of yes-men, if you recall. Without Venegrass, they’re taking whatever bribes are offered. Money is running the city now. The Knight’s Guard, well, many of them threw their oath to the wind and have become little more than thugs for hire. Extortion, rezoning, city ordinances, merchant buyouts - the place is a mess.”
Sante balled his fists as he listened to the news.
“You must be loving all the new business,” Leanna said with eyes threatening to burn Jonathan alive.
“Quite the opposite. We have nothing to do with it,” Jonathan replied. “This is being driven by the remaining members of the City Council.”
“Why should we care about politics?” Tear asked.
“Well, I can think of a few important reasons, not the least of which is if you plan on bringing Trixi’s followers through Kingsfield, you’re going to have trouble.”
Trixi was busy on the other side of the road, scolding a mushroom in her hand. One look back at her, and Tear decided it was in their best interests to leave her out of the conversation.
“The Church of the Great Father might denounce her if they view her as a threat,” Jonathan said.
“Denounce a chosen prophet? This is the Church of the Great Father you are speaking of, blasphemer,” Sante warned.
Tear was far more cynical of the situation. “Is that a real possibility? She loses all her momentum in a war of words with the church?”
“If the church forces the issue, sure,” Jonathan nodded. “A mass exodus from Kingsfield to a fabled city, led by someone that isn’t them? Yeah, they’re going to make trouble. Then there’s the other issue, with you, Tear.”
“Me?” Tear said, shocked.
“The Mage’s Guild has gone into dead silence. Last word I heard, they’re awaiting you, and they don’t want anything or anyone screwing up that meeting,” Jonathan explained. “I don’t know what they want, but I can’t imagine it’s a simple chat. Word is, they’ve concocted some experiment and you’re an important part of that.”
Leanna looked at Tear. He had his angry face on, but the songstress could see right through that. He was scared, even if he’d never say it.
“You came all this way,” Sante said. “To explain to us that in order for the priestess to complete her pilgrimage, we have to deal with the Mage’s Guild, a corrupted Knight’s Guard, the City Council, Lord Venegrass, and the Church of Great Father, with only a pack of thieves to aid us?”
Jonathan put his hands in his pockets and sighed. “Actually, I’m still sorting out who I can trust within the guild. I have a lot of potential challengers for my seat. So, you really just have me, Hunk, and Guy.”
“Perfect,” Sante said.
“You’re a guy named Guy?” Leanna asked, looking at the lithe man.
“That’s what they call me,” he replied.
The priestess grunted as she pitched the small mushroom further into the forest.
“How’s that for a compelling argument?” Trixi shouted. She made her way back to the party.
“Oppression by the ruling class...,” the mushroom’s voice faded into the distance.
“How do we even know that we can trust you?” Sante asked.
“We can’t,” Leanna replied. “He’s lied to us before, and he’s very good at it.”
Jonathan shrugged and looked at Sante. “She’s right, unfortunately. You can’t trust me. I will handle things on my end, and I can help get you guys into the city, but you’re never going to trust me, and I’m not going to come up with a great way to prove myself, either. So you can take the chance that I’ll help, or you can fall flat on your own the second you get there.”
