There it was. Shelby wasn't there when I woke up. She didn't come back from the bathroom until after seven thirty. She could have left as soon as the doors were unlocked, crept down the row to Chloe's room and killed her, then gone to the bathroom. Plenty of time to string up a small girl like Chloe. Shelby was skinny but she was wiry and strong. If Chloe had been half asleep she'd have had no chance.

  `Hannah? Is there something—?'

  `Yes, as far as I know Shelby was there all night. Why are you asking me that? I was asleep.'

  `There are some questions about Chloe's death that—'

  `Why are you asking me? I'm just a prisoner here. I don't know anything about anything. If you've got problems call the police. Don't ask me. I'm not a snitch.'

  `Do you know why we placed Shelby with you?'

  `No. Since you didn't bother to tell me, I don't. Was it to spy on her, is that what you're saying?'

  `We needed some feedback about her, yes. And—'

  `If you'd asked me you knew I'd say no, right? So you didn't bother. Well, that didn't work out very well, did it. No, I don't know if Shelby killed Chloe. I don't know much about Shelby at all. If you want to know about her why don't you ask her instead of making me into a snitch. I could get killed for that and you know it. I'm out of here.'

  I stood up and walked out as stiffly as I could. I was absolutely livid. How dare they use me to spy on a fellow inmate even if it was someone like Shelby Hanson? It was the principle. I was still going after her but not for them.

  8

  I marched past any number of screws who all stared at me. How many of them knew what the Director had done? Every screw who did now had the power to make me a total reject and a sitting duck for brutal punishment if ever I pissed them off. Sitting in her posh office the Director would have no idea either. I was literally screwed.

  I was nearly in tears as I headed for the yard. Now I would have to link up with one of the gangs just for protection. That stupid, stupid bitch. I strode around the yard with my head down cursing and kicking at any lose stones in my way. On my second circuit I felt rather than saw someone pull in beside me.

  `Piss off,' I snarled.

  `Director done you wrong then?'

  My head snapped up. It was Shannon Beal. She was smiling.

  `You might say that,' I mumbled.

  `Wanna talk about it? But we'd better be quick. Only ten minutes left of exercise time.'

  I took a deep breath. The Director might have destroyed my life in here, but something might have come of it and if crumbs are all there is, crumbs it would have to be.

  We started walking around the perimeter of the yard. A group was throwing baskets at one end, but apart from them no one else was out there. Chloe's death had hit hard.

  `Cows like her are all about what they want. They don't give a shit about what's good for anyone else.'

  `What happened/'

  `The stupid bitch just fucked my life, that's all. And I don't think she even knows she's done it.'

  `Yeah. Someone did that to me too. But I'm sure she knows she did it.'

  `Really?'

  `Mmm. Anyway, sad about that girl today. Nice girl I heard. Tragic story.'

  `You heard about what happened with her, then?'

  `Yes. Someone told me today. Can we sit down?'

  This surprised me. She'd been so tense and standoffish last time that I thought I'd have to pussy foot for ages to get anything from her. And here she was all friendly.

  We sat on one of the steel seats along the wall. She turned to me. `This is my first time in a place like this and I know there must be rules that I need to know about. It sometimes looks so brutal in here and I'm scared. When I first came I saw a girl with a badly beaten face who started screaming the moment she saw me. She looked a bit familiar too so I wondered if I’d seen her somewhere else. But of course I couldn't have. Some people just sort of look like other people, don't they?'

  I looked at her and was startled to realise I was drawn to her. In some deep unbidden corner of me I cared what happened to another living soul. A little bit. But only because I wanted something.

  I would teach this girl about prison etiquette. And she would help me with my problem. The quid pro quo. Even so, most of us learn prison codes the hard way and get battered and bruised for our trouble. I didn't want that to happen to Shannon.

  A warder came over to tell us to go inside and I suggested we go to what was called the library. This was a small room where you could order books. It was linked to a community library outside I was told. There were a couple of computers in there too. Not many people used it and there were some fairly comfortable chairs.

  I wrote out the unwritten social rules like never asking anyone about personal stuff. `You could get some nasty sugared hot water scalds if someone doesn't like the question. Of course lots of it leaks and some people actually boast. That's usually if they're violent or want everyone to think they are.'

  I wrote down the names of some of the major players like Raina and Ellie and their current ranking in the power structure. I also listed the screws, good and bad, and a few tips about how to work the system that I'd picked up in my time. Then she floored me.

  `I'm in here for murder,' she said.

  I knew that of course, but she didn't know I knew. After what I said about violence being a passport to power maybe that's why she came right out with it. She was sixteen, had been tried as a juvenile which her lawyer fought for and won. She was in until she was eighteen then they'd take another look at her case. She might get probation or be sent to the adult jail for who knew how long.

  Because I'd been keeping aloof from everyone I must have signalled that I didn't want to know. It was my fallback position because in her case I really did want to know. It was why I'd made the first move.

  `I shouldn't have said that about murder, should I?'

  `No, you’re okay. Ellie's and Raina's groups will fight for you, that's for sure. They love killers and violent people generally, then they can control all of us non-violent crims with threats. After the first beating they usually don't have to do it again. Loyalty is guaranteed.'

  She stopped and turned to face me. Her face was pale and her eyes glittered with tears. `I was found guilty of murder, but I didn't do it.' Her voice was hard. `But someone said they'd seen me do it. That was the main reason I got convicted. She said I had a fight with my boyfriend and stabbed him six times. She said in court that she saw me do it. I didn't. I found him lying in the street. He was dying and he said, `Help me, Shannon, help me.' And I couldn't.'

  She hunched over but not before I saw the tears streaming down her face. I patted her shoulder. Two hugs in one day were more than I could handle.

  `He wasn't a drug dealer then?'

  Her head shot up. `No. What happened was we were in a pub and there was this girl who'd been stalking him. You know, constant texts and stuff. She was a friend of a girl he worked with. But she was only a kid. Anyway he got a call to say she was outside in the lane and if he didn't want her to come in and make a scene he'd better go out and meet her. He told me he was going to piss her off for good and went outside. When he didn't come back I went out to look for him. He was just lying there covered in blood. When I knelt down there was a knife lying on the ground next to him. I picked it up and this girl screamed. The police were there in minutes and the girl said she saw me stab him.'

  I had to clear my throat. `Was anyone else there?' I whispered.

  `No, just her, me and Greg. Why?'

  `Have you seen her since?'

  `Only in court.'

  `When was that?'

  `Months ago.'

  So Shelby had been in court. She did know Shannon's name. Everything was lies, lies, lies. But Shelby had been here for only three weeks and before that she must have been up on the charge of assault against Chloe's gran. That must have happened after Shannon's boyfriend's murder. But Shannon had only been here for a few days. I knew the court system ground slowly but I was struggling with this timeline.

  `Where have you been since then?'

  `My lawyer appealed so I stayed on remand.'

  I nodded. That made sense. `What was this girl's name, Shannon?' I said very quietly.

  `Taylor Hanson.'

  That threw everything into a loop. Who was Taylor Hanson? A sister? A cousin? Shelby said she was the informant. So who was this?

  `You're sure this girl was the only witness?'

  She looked at me as if I was mad. `Yes, of course. She was nuts, but the jury believed her. She had this real baby face and looked so innocent. But she wasn't Hannah. She had convictions for robbery and assault but because she was a child we couldn't say any of it. She wasn't a child. I don't think she's ever been a child. Some of what she texted to Greg said things I never heard of.'

  `So how old was she?'

  `Fourteen going on forty.'

  `Was she skinny?'

  `I guess. Doesn't matter now. I'm convicted and I'll probably go to adult jail in two years.'

  So I had two totally opposed stories. One disjointed and filled with discrepancies and outright lies and the other coherent and reasonable. I knew which one I wanted to believe, but maybe Shannon was simply more intelligent and a far better liar.

  Later that night I got a message that my foster parents were visiting the next day. With any luck they'd have the court and maybe newspaper filings of Shannon's case.

  Back in my cell Shelby was lying on her bunk playing games on her phone. She looked up warily when I walked in. Minutes later she sat up and yelled at me.

  `I seen you today. You was talkin' to that killer. I told you I seen her do it. That's how she got banged up for it. I told the cops.'

  `Yeah, you said. You're a super snitch. You snitched on Chloe and on her.'

  `I told ya,' she shouted, `I didn't know I was snitchin' on Chloe. When the screws asked me I just said…and with the other thing…That was on the outside. It's different. When the cops are coming at ya real hard and sayin' you'll get an assessory or whatever it is, you tell them, I mean, don't ya?'

  I still didn't get why she was always on about Shannon Beal being a killer? Shannon had already been convicted, so what rubber on the road did Shelby have in that case?'

  `Tell me about the dealer and his killer again.'

  She droned through the story again. But this time she added a bit more colour. That she'd seen the girl with the knife inside the pub and that's how she knew her name. But she'd never admitted to knowing Shannon's name, still calling her the brown-haired girl. To avoid more wails and howls of denial I ticked off that lie in my notebook. What Mr Edwards, the English teacher would make of these notes was anyone's guess.

  `So after you saw her stab the dealer you said you ran. Then you said you went to the cops later. When was `later'? When did you actually go to the cops?'

  `The next mornin’ after I heard about it on the news. They said what his name was, but I didn't know it.'

  Why would she say that? She'd already said he was just a dealer she didn't know. Of course she didn't know his name. She was denying something that nobody had even thought about. I let that slide through too. Her stories were utter crap. Not a word she'd said to me since I met her was true. I hoped Avril and Tony would turn up with the official version of events so I could tear her apart. Meanwhile I kept on with the soft sell.

  `What did the cops say when you turned up?'

  `They was real pleased. They said I had a real good public spirit.'

  Yeah, I bet. `And you told them it was a drug dealer you were going to meet with your friend Carly, did you?'

  `No way.'

  `Why not, Shelby? That's what you told me.'

  `Yeah, but you ain't the cops, are you? I wasn't gonna say that. And Carly was gone by then and I didn't know where she'd gone so I didn't want to dob her in.'

  `Why not, you've dobbed everyone else in?'

  She jumped off her bed and stamped to the door. `I don't have to listen to this.'

  `Then piss off and leave me in peace. And don't come back. There's an empty cell just down the corridor that you know really well. I'm sure Chloe's ghost would love to share with you, Taylor.'

  She jerked so hard she almost fell off the bed. It confirmed to me that Taylor was her real name and that she was Shannon's witness. She slowly straightened and looked me straight in the face. Her fifteen-year-old face looked closer to the forty Shannon said she was inside. It was a picture of fury and vindictiveness that truly scared me. I shuddered. She would kill me if she could.

  9

  I was dreaming that I was tied to the rack in a castle with the shadows of vast demons twisting my bones to breaking point. Then I was just vaguely aware that it might really be happening. I quit that dream immediately. But it was followed by another one. This time it was just the rack, no castle, no demons but blackness. The rack was killing me so I shut that down too. Until I couldn't.

  I opened my eyes. It was pitch black and it wasn't a rack that was doing it. My entire body was cramping. It was so bad it left me breathless. Then I realised that I couldn't catch my breath enough to scream anyway. I blinked a few times but it stayed black and the cramp kept going. I started to panic. Why couldn't I breathe? Then I became aware enough to realise that I was folded up like a pretzel. My dream wasn't a dream.

  Somebody had stuffed me into whatever this tiny space was by folding my knees up to my chin and my arms under them. I couldn't breathe because my chest was crushed. I couldn't stretch out the cramp either. Tears of pain streamed down my face and I tried to yell for help. Trouble was I couldn't take a deep enough breath to raise more than a squeak. That wasn't going to cut it.

  I tried to work out what this space was. I knew it wasn't a cupboard. They don't have metal walls. Smooth metal walls. That's all I knew. I couldn't get my arms out from under my knees but I could feel under me. My insides dissolved as I realised there was nothing under me. Just empty space.

  There was something digging into my bum and my feet. Ridges of something. They were all that was holding me over an empty space. I freaked which made breathing even harder.

  I forced myself to think over my panic. What could there be in our prison building that was a tube? Rubbish chutes? Laundry chutes? That must be it. I'd been stuffed into a laundry chute. I sighed in relief. Laundry chutes were opened at least twice a day. There was one on each floor at the end of the corridor.

  Whoever had done this, and I had a good idea who that was, must have somehow got me there during the early evening before the doors were locked. Imagining how that was done would stop me thinking about how hard it was to breathe. She must have drugged me. That's why I couldn't remember how I got here. And it might be another reason I couldn't breathe properly.

  The cramps had faded a bit, so no more tears, but everything still hurt. The other thing that would keep me going was working out the punishment Shelby would get when I got out of here.

  Apart from a continuous soft whooshing sound it was silent and I drifted off a couple of times. Pain, cramps and the constant struggle to breathe woke me again. I expected to hear voices as people came out of their cells and chatted before throwing their bedding down the chute. But there were only faint sounds of life far away. Nothing came close at all. Certainly not within range of my squeaking cry.

  Time went on. No one came. I was getting lightheaded from lack of oxygen. Was that only because I was too cramped up to breathe or could the tube have a limited supply? I had to shut that thought down because panicking over lack of air used too much air. I'd watched enough TV to know that.

  I thought instead of how Shelby got me in here. It had to be her. Who else had any reason to get me out of the way? I could die in this tube if someone didn’t find me soon. That's why she put me here. That’s what Shelby did.

  She killed people who got in her way. She killed Shannon's boyfriend because he dumped her. That was delusional because she never had him in the first place. He was a fantasy for her.

  So she was crazy. That was worse than bad. With bad, you sort of knew what they'd do next, but nutters? What they did was anyone's guess. Killing Chloe because she had the power to tell everyone about what Shelby did was nuts. She would never get caught for that though. Unless she confessed. Yeah, right.

  And me? How could they link her to me dying crammed into this…tube? Or Shannon. There was nothing to say that she framed Shannon, but I knew she did. The look on her face when I called her Taylor was enough for me. Then I got to thinking. Even though she'd already framed Shannon she still watched admin. Was she waiting for someone else to turn up? Someone who saw her do it? Because I was ready to bet she had. This friend she said was with her. Carly something?

  I couldn't think any more. I was panting for air and getting very dizzy. My panic grew until I couldn't shut it out. Apart from the breathing, it was the emptiness underneath me that freaked me out. I couldn't see it but I knew I was at the top of a height and I hated heights.

  I began to sweat and get palpitations. I think I passed out for a while because when I woke up again my hands were just dangling down into space instead of me gripping them under my knees. I started dreaming even though I was awake. Or I thought I was. People came towards me from a long way away. They came closer and closer to me yelling curses at me. I knew they were my family, the Trevelyans.

  My father was out in front yelling about ruin and damnation. I shouted his words back at him and he faded, but then my mother appeared, reaching for me. A huge feeling of relief flowed through me, then she turned her back on me. My aunts and uncles all came to scream abuse too. Then I was swimming alone in a dark lagoon. Something horrible had come up from under me. It took hold of my ankles and was pulling me down into the slimy, stinking water. I was thrashing about when a man's voice cut in.

  `There's someone in here!'

  Then more voices sounded. A shot of light blinded me. `Get me out, I'm drowning,' I squeaked as loudly as I could.

 

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