“No, I’m not planning on leaving. Not until we sort this out.”

  “There’s nothing to sort out,” she argued. “You were sick. I did my job. You think you’re fine now. I pulled back. Whatever else you seem to think that I might have done, you’re wrong. You’re completely on your own. Absolutely nothing to fuss about.” She stopped then and looked at him. “Did you find the bad guys?”

  He shook his head. “No. We’re going back with a bigger team.”

  “Well, that’s good. Maybe you won’t be so hell-bent on being Rambo.”

  He stared at her for a moment. “Do you really think I’m not capable of doing whatever it is I’m trying to do?”

  “I don’t know if you are or not,” she stated flatly. “You haven’t been, and that’s all I have to go by.”

  He nodded. “I get that. I really do, but I have to be able to function.”

  “Good. Why are you still here then? Go. Go off and do your little Rambo thing.”

  He frowned at her, as again, she just gave him a flat stare. The last thing she wanted to be having was this conversation. “Go.” She waved her hands at him. “I’m going to bed. Get lost.”

  He started to laugh. “That’s not the normal response I get from women,” he noted in a cheeky voice.

  At that, she turned and glared at him. “Well, maybe it’s time you did. I’m tired, and I need to go to bed.”

  He nodded slowly. “You know that I really do appreciate everything you’ve done.”

  She held up her hand. “Stop. That is the last thing I want to hear. Just go. Get lost.”

  Frowning, he reluctantly walked over toward the door. “I really wasn’t expecting that you could even do something like that.”

  “You don’t know anything about me. So why would you?”

  “What if I wanted to?”

  “Well, it wouldn’t work,” she replied immediately.

  He stared at her. “You went to a lot of effort to save my life.”

  “I owe Terk,” she stated flatly. She refused to give an inch on anything. Inside her heart was already struggling, and the last thing she needed was to have more emotional crap flowing through him to her. He didn’t understand, and maybe it was best that way. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

  “Yes, but I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you, particularly if it’s because of what you did to me to help me out.”

  “Like I said, it’s not your problem now. Go. Your friends are waiting for you. You need to set up a plan and do your stuff.”

  He frowned, as he looked back at the other room. “Do you actually know that they’re waiting for me or was that just a guess?”

  “What? You think now I can read your mind? Or am I just going to sit here, and you’re worried about what I can do?”

  “Of course I’m worried about what you can do,” Rick admitted. “I’ve never seen anything like that before. My energy just completely shut off, like somebody turned off the tap.”

  “It was a tap. You wanted me to take the tap governor off, so I did. Does that make a difference to you? You probably don’t feel that somebody else should be able to control you, but what you keep forgetting in all of this is,” she said, “whether you actually know what level of energy to use that is safe for you? When I put that tap on, any excess usage past that definitely wasn’t safe.”

  She turned to face him. “Based on the fact that you’re still standing here in front of me, not singed or blown up, I presume you didn’t get any further with your next attempt either.”

  He slowly shook his head. “No, I didn’t.”

  *

  The next morning Rick finally approached Terk about it. Rick had still been trying to wrap his mind around what had happened with Cara’s tap, and it just seemed like he was not getting the full picture, was making a big deal out of nothing, or this really was a big deal, and he just didn’t know how to handle it.

  Terk asked him, “You still seem to be pretty shook up.”

  “Amazed, terrified, worried, exasperated, joyful—pretty much all of the above,” Rick said instantly. “I’ve been thinking about it all night.” He explained what Cara had said last night, when he’d asked her about it. Then somehow she knew that he had tried to ground energy again, and it didn’t work, as Terk already knew.

  Terk nodded slowly. “And you think that she lied, and she didn’t actually remove all the controls?”

  “I don’t know that,” he admitted quietly. “I mean, I want to believe her.”

  “I suggest you do,” Terk noted, “but I can understand why you would be hesitant.”

  He threw up his hands. “I mean, all of this is so far-fetched.”

  “Well, you didn’t have a problem believing in your abilities before, so what do you think happened?”

  “I’m not sure,” he said. “I’m really not sure. I mean, I know that I’m a bit weak and not up to full strength, but I was expecting to have more than what I did.”

  “And because she had the governor on, you’re still afraid that that’s the reason, right?”

  “Well, it’s a reasonable hypothesis,” he tried to explain.

  “It is, indeed.” Terk nodded. “So maybe you need to talk to her again.”

  “No, that I don’t need to do. I got raked over the coals pretty good the last time.”

  Terk laughed. “You might want to consider the situation from her perspective. She was doing what she thought was right, to protect you, and you slapped her down.”

  He just gave him a flat stare at that. “I get that, but, as long as she doesn’t do it again, it’s not a problem.”

  “But if she does do it again?”

  He nodded. “That’s a big problem for me. The fact that she even is capable of doing something like that just blows me away. It makes me not want to sleep at night because I just don’t understand, and I don’t know how much control she might still have.”

  “If she has any, you mean,” he reminded him.

  “Exactly. If she has any. She tells me that she has removed all ability to do that, but that doesn’t mean she can’t put it right back on.”

  “What she did was for your own healing, so don’t think of her as having done something against your will or anything else,” Terk reminded him. “She was the primary force keeping you alive, and now that you obviously have made it clear to her that you don’t need that from her anymore, she’s probably still trying to figure out what she is doing next.”

  “I know she wants to leave,” he said instantly.

  “And I’m afraid it won’t be quite that easy. We haven’t solved our problems yet, in order to make sure that she can safely leave.”

  “And that’s another problem. It’s weird.” He stopped, shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t even know what I’m saying.”

  “Well, maybe you should continue, so I can understand it,” Terk suggested.

  “It’s like there’s a weird connection.”

  “Of course there is,” he agreed instantly.

  “Well, like she told me last night—to go visit with everybody in the computer room and to make plans—as if she already knew ahead of time what everybody was doing.”

  “Ah. So now you’re thinking that she can read minds?”

  “We’ve certainly seen that ability before. You have that ability to a certain extent,” Rick noted. “I’ve just never come across it like this.”

  “Like this, or when it affected you?”

  “Both,” Rick agreed. “I’m not trying to make a big deal out of this, but somehow it appears to be a big deal, and I don’t know how I feel about it.”

  “Well, maybe you should get clear about that fact first,” Terk noted, “because I don’t think you’re thinking very clearly on all the aspects involved. One, she’s not doing anything to harm you. Two, she has done a lot to heal you. Three, everything she currently might be doing or thinking is still about whether it’s safe for you to be on your own.”

  “Am I really that bad off?” he asked in amazement.

  “It’s quite possible,” Terk noted. “I haven’t really assessed your energy. I haven’t had time, honestly. However, if she kept that governor on, I’ll presume it’s because she felt there was a need.”

  He nodded. “I get it. I absolutely do. It’s just a really weird space to be in right now.”

  “Hold off on the judgment,” Terk suggested, “and maybe work on that whole acceptance and forgiveness and gratitude thing, and see where you end up in a few days.”

  “Will she be here in a few days?” he asked, staring at his friend.

  “I don’t know. Can we get her out of here safely? I think we need to solve whoever was going into that apartment and tracking the two of you first,” Terk stated. “Then she can go back to her life.”

  “I’m hearing a maybe in there.”

  “Sure, it’s a maybe,” Terk confirmed. “I hadn’t really considered that her life would be in danger at the time, though honestly it probably wouldn’t have stopped me because I was desperately trying to keep you all alive and really needed the help,” he shared. “But I would not be happy if she became a casualty of that.”

  “Neither would I,” Rick said instantly. “Jesus. I would not want that to happen at all. She has given up a large portion of whatever was going on in her world to help me, so let’s not allow Cara to be part of our crap.”

  “It would be nice if we could keep it separate,” Terk noted, “but I’m not sure how we can do that.”

  He sighed. “Fine. I won’t get too upset, and I’ll try not to be too worried about it all.”

  “Yet you will,” Terk stated. “Just don’t go overboard.”

  *

  Early in the morning, Rick joined the gathering group, eating breakfast and making plans to go back to the house, where they had tracked the guys who found Rick and Cara at the apartment earlier. He looked over at Terk. “Do we know if they are still there?”

  Tasha answered that question. “According to the satellite images, nobody has been in or out.”

  “Okay,” Rick said, “then we need to go in and take a look, and I want to be in on it.” His voice was harder than necessary.

  Terk looked at him and frowned. “I’m not sure you’re ready.”

  “I’m not either, but there’s only one way to find out,” he stated.

  Terk gave him a flat stare.

  And then Rick realized what the problem really was. He was also supposed to be part of a team, and here he was, just worried about himself. His shoulders sagged. “Sorry. I’m just anxious to not be seen as less than.”

  At that, Tasha and Sophia started to laugh.

  “Oh, my God, you guys,” Tasha said. “Enough already. We’ve heard that from every single one of you who have slowly gotten back on your feet. Some are pretty much back to normal, if they get enough rest, and some are still fighting us on it, but you’d never know because they’re trying to hide it.”

  “Sure,” Rick muttered. “None of us want to be in this situation.”

  “Of course not,” Tasha agreed. “None of you do, but, if you all would set aside your egos, you’d find out that you’ve all basically been in the same boat.”

  Rick sat back, frowning. “Good to know, but I would still like to give it a good test and see what I can do.” Although letting everyone down if he failed was not a good move.

  Just then, as if on cue, the door opened, and Cara joined them. “Good morning.” She walked over to the coffeepot and poured herself a cup.

  Rick sensed the unease in his own energy and yet he felt a sense of rightness to it, as she approached. She sat down beside him but didn’t say anything. He was grateful that she wasn’t avoiding him, and he was surprised where she chose to sit. They had such an odd relationship between them right now. It was still very much a healer-patient thing, which added to the complexity, but also something else was there, that he didn’t even begin to know how to understand.

  As soon as breakfast was over, he stood and glanced around at the rest of the team in the room. “Terk and I will head out. Stand watch, will you?”

  Immediately they all nodded.

  “We’ve got your back,” Sophia noted calmly. “Just don’t do anything stupid.”

  At that, Rick felt Cara stiffen beside him. Rick looked at her reassuringly. “I promise that I won’t do anything stupid.” She just gave him a flat stare, and he knew she didn’t believe him. He sighed. “Honest. I’m not an idiot.”

  Reluctantly she nodded. “Good. Then you shouldn’t have any problems.”

  Even that was more than he expected, more than he’d hoped for, and he was grateful for at least that vote of confidence from somebody who actually knew the condition he was in. With that, he gave her a bright smile. “Thank you.” He turned and exited the building.

  As soon as he got outside, he froze, hesitating. When Terk came up beside him, Rick asked, “Why is it I feel like I can’t leave?”

  “You tell me.” Terk seemed curious. “Are you picking up something?”

  “Well, something, but I don’t know what. It’s the darndest thing.”

  “Maybe what you’re picking up is something more like an emotion.”

  He looked over at him. “Like?”

  Terk smiled. “Did you say goodbye to somebody?” His voice was so soft and so supportive that it took Rick a moment to realize.

  “Oh, boy. Is that what’s going on?”

  “You tell me,” Terk said, a note of amusement in his voice. “You’re the one feeling whatever you’re feeling. It’s up to you to tell the rest of us.”

  And his heart sank. “But she already knows, doesn’t she?”

  Terk looked at Rick, his lips twitching. “What do you think?” Terk asked Rick.

  “Shit.” Rick sagged in place. “I don’t know what to do about that.”

  “Why don’t you do nothing for the moment,” Terk suggested calmly, “and just see. Maybe it’ll change now that she has separated the energy.”

  “Yeah. Something has changed, and I feel like I pulled the wings off a butterfly or something.”

  At that, Terk started to laugh.

  “I’m not sure she’d like that reference either,” Rick admitted. “Does this happen to her every time?”

  “Sometimes,” Terk noted, “but, don’t forget. Usually at the level that she went to, in order to keep you alive, she lost most of them.”

  And then it hit him. How would that play out over time with Cara, again and again, the depths of that connection she had with each of her critically ill patients and the pain of disconnecting? “Good God,” he whispered. “How could she do that over and over again?”

  “I think mostly because she believes she has a calling for it, and there was a need.”

  “What about the ones she did heal?”

  “I think she had a way of separating from them, and it could be just as simple as knowing that her patients were going to be with somebody else. The other thing is …” Terk hesitated.

  “Don’t stop now.” Rick stared at Terk. “If you know anything, I need to hear it.”

  “I know a lot about her gifts,” Terk agreed, “but I don’t know her exact process—what she had to do to keep you alive. I just know that it was a huge investment of time and energy. She did it willingly, but there’ll be a payoff for that, you know? And, in this case, more than a payoff, maybe a price.”

  “Well, she had to separate.”

  “And you made it very clear that you wanted it done … and not necessarily in an easy way. So, from her perspective, she may be feeling like she’s been abandoned. Psychologically she knows how this will play out, so no wonder she wants to leave right away.”

  “And just the thought of her leaving makes me sick,” Rick murmured.

  Terk smiled. “Yeah, and that’s the thing. It’s a two-way street.”

  “So, what you’re saying is, whether I like it or not, we’re bonded?”

  “What I’m saying is,” Terk stated, “this was a byproduct of healing you. And, yes, it happened without your prior permission. Yes, you’re bonded. Now the question is, what will you do about it?”

  Chapter 7

  One thing about knowing where Rick stood, it meant Cara needed to pick up and to start fresh somewhere else. She’d had similar emotions many times over, and it always came back to her patients. She was happy that they were doing so well, but it also left her in an odd state. This time with Rick was way worse and was her own fault.

  She shouldn’t have taken on something this dark. Honestly she hadn’t been sure that he would make it. Yet, when she’d seen that little tiny bit of hope, she’d dove in as hard and as fast as she could to save him. However, the penalty for that was how she was the one who would hurt.

  Rick just wanted to move on and to get back to his old life, and she couldn’t blame him for that. She couldn’t blame him for any of this. It was her fault; she needed to take responsibility for that. When she went out to the main room, she asked calmly, “Is there a laptop here I can use?”

  Tasha looked at her and asked, “Did nobody get you yours?”

  “Is it here?” she asked in delight.

  Tasha nodded and walked over to where a stack of electronics sat. “Do you need a mouse with that?”

  “There should have been one with it,” Cara noted. They rummaged around until she found it. “Perfect.” Looking around at the three women, all at the three computer stations, Cara said, “I’ll just take this back into my room then.”

  “Or,” Sophia offered, “you can set up over here, if you want.”

  Cara hesitated and then shrugged. “Sure, if you don’t mind. I don’t really want to spend all my time in my room.”

  “And you don’t have to,” Tasha stated immediately. “You’re more than welcome to be out here with us.”

  She smiled. “Thank you for that. I feel like I’m here on sufferance.”

  “Not at all,” Tasha noted warmly. “You don’t have to earn your way here by any means. Anybody who worked as hard as you did to care for Rick is more than welcome here, anytime and all the time,” she stated firmly. “And listen. Just because he’s caught up in his own mess of emotions right now, that doesn’t mean you have to be as well.”

 

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