The clover romance colle.., p.73
The Clover Romance Collection, page 73
Carl is on the ground, his hand pressed tight to his stomach as his shirt begins to change from white to red, the way we used to tie die shirts at summer camp.
“I’m so sorry,” I mouth to him. “I’m sorry.”
“She got it,” he sputters out, blood painting his lips and teeth. “They gave it to her. She’s on the list.”
I’m out the door, Zack’s arm draped over me as if we’re a happy couple strolling toward a date night.
My body is tense with fear, but still a small part of my brain processes Carl’s words. Rudy got the heart. No matter what happens to me now, she’ll be on the list. Jordan will take care of her. Corinne will feed her. She’ll dance and play and heal.
Now all I need to do is get Zack as far away from her as possible. Nothing else matters. Distance. We need distance.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Mike
The bear is cheesy. A big pink stuffed thing with a get well soon inscription on the belly. I don’t know Rudy’s favorite color, but I got bored walking the lobby of the hospital and this thing called to me from the gift shop. I wonder if Lu-Ella’s settled Rudy, enjoyed some songs and found a little joy in the simple moment. There’s such a fine line between being a support and crowding in.
I listen outside the door for a second, trying to hear if the music has stopped. Maybe they’ve both fallen asleep in the bed, and I’ll tuck them in and crash on the chair. I push the door open just a crack and hear a strangled cry that sends my stomach dropping into my socks.
Something holds the door from opening all the way and I use my shoulder to jam it open. There’s a body at my feet. Carl. A streak of blood shows he’s slid himself a few feet trying to reach the door.
The cry is from Rudy, groggy but distressed. I pull the door back open and yell for help, sending anyone in the hall into motion. I reach Rudy, who has no idea who I am, and she recoils. Lu-Ella’s phone is still on the table and I cycle through the screens quickly to play the song that had earlier brought Rudy so much joy.
She whimpers and opens her arms to me as her tiny lip pouts out. The room explodes with people as they try to figure out what’s happening.
“He took Lu-Ella. Lock the hospital down.” My voice is swallowed up by medical personnel trying to assess Carl’s injuries.
Feeling helpless, I sit on the edge of Rudy’s bed and pull her into my lap, letting her hold the phone to her ear. Her other ear presses to my chest just as the loud alarm blares. A lockdown. There is a chance they are still in the hospital and the lockdown will make Zack feel like a caged animal. Or worse they’re already out and now I’m stuck in here, having to wait to be cleared before I can go after him.
The alarm stops and is replaced by instructions over the intercom for staff and patients.
Rudy shakes in my arms, but rocks a little to the beat of the music. A big yawn splits her face. There is a doctor on us now. Dr. Linley, pointing a little flashlight into Rudy’s face.
“Is she hurt?”
“No, but he took Lu-Ella. Zack took her, and he’s obviously armed. I need to go after her.”
“No one is going anywhere,” he says, brushing Rudy’s hair back so he can get a better look at her. “If they got out before we sounded the alarm, the police will be looking for them. Our security team will give them all the information they have from the security footage.”
“Dr. Linley, I can promise you Zack is not going to give the police time to find him. Just find out what they know. Tell me if they’re still in the hospital or not.”
“Hang on.” Dr. Linley looks around the room and flags down one of the uniformed security guards.
“What are you hearing, Ronny?” Dr. Linley puts a hand on the man’s shoulder and lowers his voice.
“They just pulled the tape out of the booth. A man believed to be armed with a gun and a woman, looking under duress, left through the cafeteria exit four minutes ago.”
“Doctor,” I plead, laying Rudy down gently and moving toward them, “you’ve got to get me out of here so I can find her.”
I expect protest. Some kind of logical, rule based reason why that can’t happen.
“Ronny, can you clear him and get him out of the building?”
“You got it,” Ronny says with a nod. “You saved my daughter’s life when her appendix burst. You can call in a favor anytime.”
“Hey Mike,” Dr. Linley says, grabbing my arm. “They put her on the list. Whatever you all did today. It worked.”
Carl is on a stretcher and pulled from the room with an urgency that means his situation is dire.
“Come with me,” Ronny says, waving me along. “Let’s get you out of here.”
Chapter Thirty
Lu-Ella
The car smells like stale cigarettes even though Zack is trying to convince me he’s quit smoking. The advantage I have here is knowing him. He is fragile. I’ve learned over the years we were together how to avoid his anger. How to calm his fears. I don’t know how I’ll get away from him, but I just know I want him to keep driving. The further we get the better things will be for Rudy.
“I’m glad you signed those papers,” I say touching his arm gently. “No matter what else happens, I know you did that for me.”
“I did,” he says wildly, then calms himself. “I did. I would do anything for you Lu-Ella.”
“I know you would.” I want to scream at him and beat him upside the head. Remind him he just shot a man. A good man. A better man then he’ll ever be. But I don’t. We’re only ten minutes away from the hospital. He could turn the car around. He could hurt anyone if I make him mad.
“I’ve been with a lot of women Lu,” he says, using the butt of the gun to scratch his head. A lock of his hair stays sticking straight up, pinned there with sweat. “A lot. And I can tell you none of them are anything like you. The way you used to be, when we were making love. None of them are like that.”
“Sometimes, we remember things as better than they were so that we can feel better.” This is as close as confrontational as I can get and even that is too far.
“Are you saying you didn’t like sleeping with me? You sure seemed like you liked it.”
“That’s not what I meant. You know how I felt about being with you. You were my first.”
“I was,” he smiles. “I know I was. That first night, knowing I was going where no one else had. I still think about that. Can you believe it? All these years later I still think about taking your virginity.”
I swallow back the vomit rising in my throat. “Zack, I think we need to make a plan here.”
Police, with their sirens on, whiz by us going toward the hospital.
“I have a plan.”
“Can you share it with me? I’m worried that the police are going to stop us and you’re going to get hurt.”
“I’m supposed to believe you would care about that?” He’s fishing for me to answer, to prove to him I care.
“Of course I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“You want to be with me? You said you didn’t.”
I can’t bring myself to that level of compromise. I just don’t have it in me. “You and I weren’t good together.”
“Yes we were.” He slams a hand down on the steering wheel. “Yes, Lu, we were great together. And we can be again. I’ve been chasing what we had for years. That first night, out in the woods when we slept together, I’ve been trying to feel that good since. That loved.”
“We were kids. I didn’t know what I was doing. I mean look, we got pregnant. What did we know?”
“I loved you. I married you. I knew that.” He’s sad suddenly, sniffling back the tears. “You loved me too.”
“Of course I did,” I admit. “I don’t want you to get hurt Zack, so let’s make a plan. How much gas do you have, how far can we get?”
“What do you mean?” He looks at me from the corner of his eye.
“I think we should drive as far as we can. Maybe stay off the highway.”
“And then what?”
“Then you should let me out, fill up your tank and keep going. You shot a man back there. You need to get as far away as you can.”
“Why would I let you out? You’d just leave me again?”
“I never left you Zack, you went to prison for hurting me and Maddy.”
He shrieks. “You two were sitting in my kitchen deciding who gets my baby. Like I’m some kind of loser man with no control over his own life. You two did that.” He points the gun at my head.
“Ok,” I say, raising my hands up disarmingly. “You’re right. I knew even then that what we were doing would bother you.”
“But you still did it.”
“I know.”
“You make me do things then act like I’m the bad guy. If you would just help me out every now and then things would be so much better.”
“You’re right.”
He lowers the gun, angry at me for making him do that.
“Let’s just drive Zack. We’ll figure the rest out.”
“I’ll figure it out,” he corrects. “For once we’ll do things my way and maybe then it’ll actually work out.”
“Ok.”
“I just miss you Lu. I miss kissing you. Holding you. I miss chasing that feeling. I need that feeling again.” He licks his lips and drags his eyes over my body. “Don’t you want to feel that again?”
My throat seizes up. The idea of him touching me brings hot tears to my eyes. I have to blink them back. I give him just a nod. “You’re right,” I say evenly. “Let’s just drive and then you can figure out what’s next.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Mike
Click has called for the fifth time and finally I answer. “I already told you everything I know.” I bark.
“I’m updating you now,” Click explains. I don’t want bad news. Have they found her? Did he shoot her?
“Her phone is still at the hospital so they can’t track her. They have an APB out on his vehicle. As far as we know that’s what he left in. Rudy is fine. Carl is in surgery.”
“That doesn’t help me at all. We need to try to find out where he would have taken her. What else do we know about him? What did he say today?”
“He said a lot of screwed up stuff today.”
“Then you shouldn’t have let him walk out of there.” I’m pissed, speeding down the road with no real direction. “You should have bashed his head in while you had the chance.”
“I know.”
That’s not what I expected from Click and it makes me back off a bit. “Where would he take her? What does he want?”
“He just wants her,” Click says simply. “He wants things to be back the way they were when they first met in college. He wants her to want him.”
“She doesn’t.”
“Mike, listen to me man, we don’t have a lot to go on and you driving around aimlessly and pissed off isn’t a good idea. They’re trying to track traffic cams leaving the area. They checked his phone and it’s been disabled. The car doesn’t have any kind of GPS system. You know how this stuff works. It’s as much luck as anything else.”
“GPS.” I hear the letters pass over Lu-Ella’s sweet lips.
“Yes, they have checked and have no way to track them. But they are working hard. You know that.”
“Where is her phone?” I yank the wheel of the car and pull off to the shoulder.
“I told you she left it here. It’s no good to us. They’ve checked it out but it doesn’t look like there is any helpful information on there. Maybe we can try to get in touch with someone who knew them when they were together, try to get an idea of his state of mind, and where he would go.”
“Who has her phone right now?”
“Uh, Jordan I think. She’s holding on to it in case Lu-Ella has a way to call or get in touch.”
“Click, listen to me very closely. You need to get that phone. Lu-Ella might be wearing Rudy’s bracelet. It has GPS in it. They took it off her in the hospital and Lu-Ella had been wearing it. Maybe she still has it on.”
He doesn’t ask me any more questions but I can hear him rustling around and barking out orders. A moment later he’s swearing. “You’re right. The app is here. A lot of the kids in our classes have them. I’ve got a location.”
“Where?”
“Mike I’m sending it to the cops right now. They’ll find her.”
“Click, don’t make me beg you. Don’t make me lay all my shit out here and beg you. Where is she?”
“It’s in the woods out behind the mall Mike. There’s nothing good there and it doesn’t look like the location has updated in over thirty minutes. I don’t think you should go out there. It might be bad.”
“Send that to my phone,” I demand. “If the cops get there first then so be it. I won’t get in their way, but I’m not far from the mall. Every second might count. Send it.”
“Sent,” he says sounding like a worried mother. “Don’t get yourself killed. You’re not armed. He is.”
“When has that ever mattered? The woods are filled with weapons.”
“Dammit Mike, don’t go in those woods alone. I can get there in fifteen minutes.”
“I’ll be there in three. Stay where you are. Stay with Rudy. If he’s not here, maybe he’ll go back there. I need to know you’re with her.”
“Call me the second you know something,” Click demands. “Go get her.”
We disconnect and I throw my phone into the passenger seat. I snatch up a black baseball hat and zip up my dark green sweatshirt. If he’s out in the woods, I’m going to see him before he sees me.
“Just don’t be dead,” I plead, conjuring up an image of Lu-Ella’s sweet face. “Please just don’t be dead.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Lu-Ella
“Zack, I know you’re really upset,” I say, a quiver in my voice. I stalled him as long as I could. We sat in the car on the side of the access road as long as I could keep him there. He’s done now. I’ve brought up every happy memory he and I shared. Reminisced. When I begged him to just sit and talk longer he shook loose from my grip on his arm.
“Out of the car,” he demands, the gun pointing at my head. “We’re going for a walk.”
I don’t know if he intends to kill me. I didn’t know for sure if he intended to kill Maddy that day in the tub. He never seemed really capable of that kind of act. Not because he wasn’t mean enough but because he hardly followed through on anything. His selfishness was always paramount to any plans. But he’d just shot Carl. Clearly his emotions about me are twisted up in knots.
“I thought our plan was to drive. We should just keep driving until we get far enough where they aren’t looking for you anymore.”
His hand is clamped like a claw around the back of my neck as he pushes me into the brush that finally breaks way into a small path. The woods press into us on either side. My bag of tricks feels empty. I don’t know what he wants from me anymore.
“Well that’s up to you. What you do now is what matters.” He loosens his grip on my neck and pulls my body in tight to him, his arm draped over me again, his fingers grazing my bra.
“What do you want from me Zack?”
“You know what I want. You knew the night we went out in the woods after that party and you know now. Don’t play coy the way you did then. We’re too old for that.”
My heart sinks. The idea of having sex with him is physically painful. Any ounce of intimacy there ever was between us is gone. “That was a long time ago Zack. We did it in the woods because we had nowhere else to go. We were kids. We don’t have to do this. Let’s get back in the car and drive to a hotel.”
“You think I’m stupid don’t you? The first chance you get you’ll run. You’ll try to call someone there. You’ll try to get away. You don’t understand what I’m trying to do here. I’m trying to remind you what we had.”
“I remember what he had. I loved you so much Zack. You were my whole world. We made vows to each other. Trust me I’ll never forget that night either but we can’t do this. I’m not ready.”
“What’s that mean?” He stops walking and yanks me back.
“I’m not ready to do this. You’re the one with the gun and the control. You can do whatever you want but there won’t be any going back if you make me do something I don’t want to. I think we could have a future but not if you force yourself on me. I’m not ready.”
“Not ready? Well what are you ready for?” He spins me toward him.
“Can you hold me?” I ask, hoping he thinks my tears are something else than sheer terror.
“Hold you?” He looks skeptical but not completely convinced I’m screwing with him.
“I’m so tired Zack.” I collapse into his arms. “You were right. I’ve been taking care of Rudy and I don’t even know who I am anymore. But you know. You remember and maybe that’s what I need. I know you think sleeping together out here is going to bring us back to some magic night. But I’m telling you I’m not ready for that, but I do need you. That’s up to you, you have the power.”
I put my head on his chest and cry. One arm comes up and closes in around me. “I knew it Lu. I knew you wanted this. Your life is a nightmare. It doesn’t have to be that way.”
“Just help me Zack. Help me.” I cry loudly. I put both arms around him tightly and hope maybe he’ll do the same, pointing the gun away from me. Forgetting all about it.
When he finally does, from the corner of my eye I can see it in his hand, his finger off the trigger. I take my moment, gathering every ounce of strength I have. I knee him as hard as I can in the groin and try to jump back as he expels a puff of air. The pain he feels is clear and both hands instinctually clutch at his crotch. I consider going for the gun. But I wouldn’t even know what to do with it if I got it away from him.
