Tango, p.16
Tango, page 16
I’m speechless as anger boils up in me.
Nothing would make me feel better than to tell Jessica that she doesn’t know what she’s talking about and that she should mind her own business. But … she may be right.
In my mind, the justifications for my decisions try and defend themselves but in the end, I have to admit that I acted like an imbecile.
The lunch arrives and we dig in.
While eating in silence, I mull over what she’s just said, brutally honest though it was.
She doesn’t discuss it further. We finish our meals and she insists on settling the check. After that, we head off to a boutique. She wants a dress that’s on special that she saw on the mall’s website.
Then she treats me to a haircut, not to change my style but just refresh it, and afterwards, we look for a nice outfit for, what she insists, is the next time I see Philippe.
That she also pays for, saying, “He must want to rip your clothes off when he sees you, sweetie.”
I can only blush. She’s that confident and optimistic. The outfit turns out to be a new pair of tailored slacks that accentuate my butt and a silky red button-up shirt that drapes itself suggestively over my chest and arms. The color complements my emerald green eyes nicely.
“You look fabulous!”
We go and validate our parking before heading for the Oriental Theatre a few blocks away.
Once we arrive, we go inside. Since she’d bought our tickets online that same evening when she invited me, we’re early and are seated way ahead of the starting time of the performance.
The musical starts and I’m captivated by the story about a group of young New Yorkers struggling with their careers, love lives, and the effects of the HIV epidemic in the nineties.
It’s clear why she’s chosen this particular show and I am sure that she had an ulterior motive to invite me. It wasn’t the type of show you could just take anyone to. My dad, for example, wouldn’t have been that comfortable.
The issues and the relationship dynamics between people in love, living with the consequences of their pasts, and limited aspirations or options for their futures, is an eye opener.
It isn’t entirely relevant to my life in many ways but the underlying themes do resonate with me to some degree.
We leave after the show with my own situation weighing heavily on my heart. I have a lot to think about.
Jessica doesn’t talk much during our trip home, and we listen to a mix of Katy Perry, Michael Bublé, and Josh Groban, all the way home.
This woman is really something.
We stop in front of my house just after midnight. She drops me off before heading home to her own place.
“Say goodnight for me to your dad, please. I’ll call him tomorrow. It looks like he’s still out with Charlie.”
Oh yes, she knows my dad’s friend. Wasn’t he the guy who introduced them to each other in the first place? I should really ask my dad about how he met Jessica instead of making everything so far all about me.
“Sure thing.” I wave back at her as she drives off.
I unlock the front door and go inside.
Jessica’s right, my dad’s still not home and is probably having a late night out, celebrating with the guys.
We must’ve won the game.
The emptiness of the house resonates with me. Sighing, I get ready for bed.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
It takes me a good two days before I get the courage together to contact Philippe. I know I should send Rémi a message, too, but am not sure yet what to say to him. I also think I should maybe call him. He would probably appreciate that more.
Lying on my bed in the middle of the afternoon, I realize that it must be morning there.
I unblock Philippe from WhatsApp and send him a hi.
He doesn’t respond immediately. I’m about to accept the fact that I may have left it too late and I get a message back, with a, How are you?
I text him, telling him about my night out with Jessica and how weird she is, being such a contradiction and so on.
I run out of safe, platonic conversation topics and though he’s only texted me thumbs-up and emojis, he hasn’t said much.
I wait.
My phone rings and it’s him phoning me via WhatsApp.
He blurts out, “I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore, Evan?”
I sit up. “I know I said that but I think I might’ve made a huge mistake and I’m so terribly sorry.”
Well, there it is. Let’s see what he does now.
He’s quiet for a while.
“Hello, Philippe?”
“I’m here.” Silence again.
He eventually speaks, “That’s a surprise turnaround. What made you change your mind?”
“I got strong advice from someone. Brutal, actually, but it made me realize I might have been a tad self-righteous with regards to your situation.”
“You discussed my past with someone?” His voice sounds irate, even accusatory.
“Yes, my dad’s new girlfriend.”
“I don’t like that you discussed it with someone, Evan. You had no right to do so.” He’s furious now.
This isn’t going well but he goes on, “Then again, you might not have phoned me if you hadn’t.”
“True,” is all I say.
He goes on, “My past is just that, my past. I’m not that guy anymore and if that is what you were wondering about, it’s ludicrous. I have no desire or inclination to do that ever again. I can assure you that living that life was a terrible and dangerous one. Not one I would like to associate myself with in any way or form ever again.”
“Oh, ok,” is all I manage.
Philippe continues, “What do we do now? You are thousands of miles away from me, and I wish we could have sorted this out when we saw each other last. I’ve tried desperately to get you out of my thoughts but after obsessively chasing you all over Paris and London, it hasn’t been that easy.”
“I am very sorry, Philippe.”
“Let’s rather leave it be and move on from here. Shall we?”
So, there it is. He doesn’t want us to try and fix this, even if I have no idea how we could.
“Ok,” I reply, accepting his decision.
My eyes tear up. I’m going to regret losing him for a long time to come. I know that now.
A tear runs down my cheek, and I keep my hand over the phone’s microphone to sniff.
Philippe brought excitement into my life. Until I met him, I felt like I was a visitor to planet earth. He changed all that and I’m not sure I can ever go back to only coasting through life again.
Another tear falls but I try and stay in control. Sobbing will make it look like I’m trying to make him feel bad. I’m the one who wanted to apologize.
“I have to go, Evan, I have a customer. Chat soon,” he says curtly.
I don’t believe there’s a customer. “Bye and thanks for calling me, Philippe.”
The connection goes dead.
It’s over. I feel a fist tightly grip around my heart as it dawns on me that it’s over for us. I turn over and let my pain engulf me while lying on my stomach with my chin resting on the side of the bed. Tears softly stream down my face.
I did this to myself.
My dad comes home after work to find me still lying on the bed. There’s no evidence of my earlier tears.
“Hey! What’s this laziness? Come join me while I prepare dinner. Jessica’s coming over, and you can help me get ready.”
“Ok, Dad, I’ll be there soon. Just give me five.”
He walks off.
I get up and head for the bathroom to rinse my face, tidy my hair, and take a leak.
After washing my hands and drying off with the hand towel, I go downstairs and find my dad putting the ingredients together for his delicious beef casserole.
“We’re having boeuf-bourguignon over rice. You can help by chopping the vegetables and then getting the rice going.
He slices into the beef and cuts them into smaller pieces. Then heats a large casserole dish and adds some goose fat.
Once he’s dried the beef pieces out with a paper towel and seasons it, he fries it until its golden brown and takes it out of the dish.
Then he fries some bacon, adding onions, mushrooms, and garlic that I’ve just cut for him, until they are lightly browned.
He adds tomato paste to the mix and cooks it for a few minutes, while stirring the mixture, and adds the beef back into the concoction.
After pouring in some wine and a little bit of water, he brings it to the boil before switching off the gas and covering it and placing it in a pre-heated oven for a few hours.
He lets me get on with making the rice. Once I’ve got that cooking, he finishes with the other components of the dish.
Soon, the entire house smells like a restaurant.
While we’re cooking, I take the opportunity to speak to him about Philippe. He hasn’t said anything about it since we spoke last and even though everything seems okay between us, I know he wasn’t entirely happy with how I handled it.
“Jessica spoke to me and made me realize that I may have overacted with Philippe,” I start the conversation off.
“You think?” He focusses on what he’s doing.
“Yes. I know. Her words were ’you’re acting childish and naïve.’”
“That’s Jessica for you.” My dad grimaces and checks the rice to make sure it’s not drying out.
“I’m sorry for the way I handled it, Dad.”
“Don’t be, son. I may not be happy with what you did but at least I can accept that it was your decision. Your mom always told me that you need to learn to live with the consequences of your own actions and that if I’m too overprotective, it will only cause you more harm than good.”
“Ok,” is all I say.
“So, what are you going to do now?” He stops cleaning the counter and looks at me.
“I messaged him to apologize and he ended up calling me. But, from his answers, I think I left it too late.”
“I’m sorry, son. Such a pity. Sometimes we make mistakes in life that there’s no turning back from. Just learn from this and though I, of course, want you to be careful, don’t be so quick to write off someone until you fully understand what they are worth to you and if you can maybe find it in your heart to accept them for who they are, past or no past.”
“Yes, Dad.”
“Oh, and by the way, since you’re not on vacation anymore in some exotic far of land, you can come back to work instead of lazing at home. We need you at the office. Mandy isn’t coping as well with the extra workload, as I had thought she could.”
“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“Do you really want me to answer that? You were on vacation, son.”
“Oh, ok. I get it.”
“Love you, son.”
“Love you, too, Dad.”
***
Jessica arrives just after seven, and by then the food is about an hour away from being ready.
We go sit in the living room and Dad puts on more music. This time it’s classical. Chopin, I think. Dad is the opposite to Jessica in a lot of ways. Different music and personality. She’s hipper than my Dad but doesn’t seem to care that he’s so boring.
We’re all comfortable, just like the other night, and I ask, “How did you guys meet?”
My dad gives Jessica a kiss on her lips before answering me.
“I think I’ve told you about Uncle Charlie introducing us?”
I nod.
He continues, “A month or so ago before you left, he told me at the gym that he went to a legal firm to have some issue dealt with and met this lovely lady.” He kisses her again.
“So, he tells me that he’s sure he’s found the next Mrs. Kushnir. I told him to go stuff himself but he pestered me until I was bored the night after you’d gone to Europe and gave in, agreeing to meet this mystery woman.”
Jessica mock-punches him in his ribs. “So, I was something to kill time with.”
Dad feigns a painful rib but goes on, “You know better than that, sweetheart.”
“Anyhow, we were set-up to meet at the sports bar. When I walked in, I saw this lovely young woman standing near the pool tables and was smitten. When Uncle Charlie came up, I was dreading who he had in mind because I’d just seen the girl of my dreams. Imagine my delight when he takes me straight towards the woman I’d just been mesmerized by, to introduce us.”
“That’s so sweet,” I exclaim.
“And fortunately for him,” Jessica adds, “I’d also noticed him and thought if he’s there with someone else, I was going to seduce him away from her.” She laughs and kisses him on his cheek.
“Luckily it worked out perfectly,” I say and smile.
They give each other a long, passionate kiss until I cough.
“Isn’t dinner about ready?” I ask, to change the subject. It’s not my goal in life to sit here, staring at these two making out.
“Oh shit, yes.” My dad jumps up, and we follow him into the kitchen.
Dinner is again a light-hearted affair with a lot of laughing and teasing but deep down I’m thinking of one person … Philippe.
I miss him.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
I return back to work the next day, and Mandy is delighted to say the least. She jumps up as she sees me enter from behind her cubicle and runs towards me to hug and kiss me hello.
“Welcome back, sunshine! I missed you so much.”
I smile sweetly at her. “Nice welcome.”
Mandy is a spinster in her thirties who loves the four cats she lives with and has an undying passion for Netflix.
She’s slightly obese with blonde untidy shoulder-length hair and a friendly face that hides her sad, lonely life. I recall her once telling me that she’d been in love once but didn’t have the courage to stand up to her parents who didn’t approve of the match.
They threatened to disown her if she went ahead and married a Mexican construction worker.
Mandy relented and in the end, he moved away and married someone else. As if by some twisted sense of irony, her parents died in a car accident a few years later, leaving her alone.
It’s really sad. I think this is why she always wears her emotions on her sleeve and can be unpredictable and moody at times, which makes working with her difficult but not impossible.
My dad feels sorry for her and that’s probably the only reason he’s never fired her for times when she was too bitchy or not doing her job properly.
Gavin, from marketing, is as cocky as always when he arrives after a sales meeting to find me back at my desk.
“Hello, silver spoon. You back. I better get my ten bucks from Jerry because I bet him you wouldn’t last a few weeks being away from Daddy-dearest. Shame, did the grown-ups scare you over there?”
I could probably tell my dad about this prick’s constant bullying but he’s a good salesman, and I don’t want my dad to have to make a choice between me and what’s good for the firm.
“Fuck off, Gavin.” I stare intently at him but he doesn’t even skip a beat.
“Maybe the boys didn’t want to pop that cherry of yours?” He does that hip thrust move of his. The one that always makes me shiver with disgust. I can’t believe at one time I found him marginally sexy. But thankfully, his personality quickly turned me off. He believes he’s God’s gift to women or gays in that all of us desperately want to get some of his ‘love muscle,’ as he calls his penis. He disgusts me.
He continues, “Don’t ask for it from me, silver spoon. I wouldn’t be able to get it up even.”
“That’s what you say …” I turn my back on him.
“You wish!” He chuckles.
***
One morning, two weeks later, I arrive at work early to open up, as my dad had spent the night before at Jessica’s place. I walk in to find the main office door unlocked but the lights still out. Though the sun is up and shining through the windows around the large office space, it’s still too dark for anyone to be able to do any work. I’m about to switch on the lights when I hear moaning coming from my dad’s private office and go to investigate.
The office door is slightly ajar. I look around it to peek in.
Holy fuck!
Jerry is bent over my father’s desk pumping into Gavin, who I may add does have a nice ass, fucking him mercilessly.
Poor Jerry is moaning. His erection is caught between the edge of the table and Gavin pounding his ass, squeezing it between the table and his groin with every thrust.
Wow. Gavin is fucking Jerry hard.
“Take it, you bitch. And you thought the ten bucks was all losing the bet would cost you?” He thrusts another deep one into Jerry’s novice ass.
“No, Gav!” You’re hurting me!”
“You like my big dick, don’t you? You want me to really stop?”
“Yes! No! I don’t know!”
Gavin continues fucking him and he’s close to a grand finale. If he’s increasing groans and thrusts are any indication.
If I interrupt Gavin, he’ll possibly go nuts and maybe even take aim at me. Surely, I can just report him but I think I need some evidence.
I take my smartphone out and snap a picture of him. I can’t see his face, so I cough, and as he and Jerry whip their heads around, I snap the shot of both their shocked faces.
“You little fuck! Come here!” Gavin rips out his huge cock and moves towards me.
I slam my fist into the fire panel next to the door frame and make a run for it towards the elevators. Gavin is hot on my trail, literally.
As I wait for the elevator door to open, pressing the button profusely, he comes towards me at a shit speed, still naked with his hard cock bouncing up and down. Just as I expect him to punch me across my jaw, he’s dive-tackled by a security guard exiting the stairwell at that exact moment.
