She should at least contemplate forgiving him. Shouldn’t she?

  Jonah couldn’t find Callie. He had searched the entire crowd gathered for the picnic. Where could she have disappeared to? He was growing more and more desperate as he failed to locate her. He ran his hands through his hair again. He had to look like a rumpled mess.

  “Aren’t you dashing?” a woman said from behind him. “Almost as if you just rolled out of bed.”

  Jonah groaned. He didn’t want to see her. She was one of the reasons Callie refused to speak with him. He turned around and met her gaze. Her gray eyes were filled with mischief and her midnight locks were pulled back in a perfect chignon. She wore a dress of soft yellow embellished with tiny seed pearls along the bodice. The young widow was as beautiful as he remembered, and he felt nothing for her. “Lady Dryden,” he said in an agitated tone. “I trust you’re enjoying this gathering.” He didn’t care one wit if she did or not. Politeness was ingrained in him though.

  “I am indeed,” she replied. “You appear to be looking for someone. Did your little pigeon fly away and leave you lost?”

  What the blazes was she talking about? “I’m far from lost.” He was, however, desperate.

  “Perhaps,” she said. “Would you take a little direction if I were to give it?”

  “That would depend on where you are sending me.” He wanted this conversation over with. He didn’t fully trust her not to mislead him. “Say your piece.” He would decide afterward if her advice was worth considering.

  She studied him for a moment, and then nodded. “You do love her, don’t you?”

  Jonah didn’t confirm or deny anything. That admission should only be confessed to one woman. He just stared at her and waited for her to continue.

  Her lips twitched. “Keeping your feelings close to the vest are you.” She laughed. “I understand. I don’t need you to tell me what I already know.”

  “If that is true why bother asking?” He lifted a brow. “What do you hope to gain?” Lady Dryden was known for her mercenary outlook—she wanted far more than she ever gave.

  “In this?” She laughed again. “Nothing. Consider it my good deed for…well the only one I’m likely to do in my lifetime.” She leaned a little closer and said in a husky tone, “We could have been good together.”

  “No, we wouldn’t have been.” The little time he’d spent with her had been a mistake. “Now say what you were alluding to or I’m walking away.”

  She blew out an exasperated breath. “Have it your way. Your type usually does…” Lady Dryden shook her head. “She loves you too. If you’re hoping for some time alone with her you can have it now. I left her alone in the ladies’ retiring room. She probably will leave soon.”

  That’s why he couldn’t find her. Jonah could kiss Lady Dryden…if it wouldn’t give her an unwanted idea that is. “Thank you.” He nodded at her and then left her alone. He didn’t want to continue a conversation that would go nowhere and he might lose his chance with Callie.

  He entered the house and went straight to where the ladies’ retiring room had been set up. As luck would have it Callie was exiting as he reached the door. She paused when she noticed his approach. She glanced back at the door as if she was going to rush back inside to avoid him. Jonah wouldn’t allow that to happen. He had to speak to her. To make her understand…it was time to tell her the truth about his dark past. After she knew everything, and if she still wanted him or wished to walk away… He’d respect whatever decision she made.

  He rushed to her side and slipped his arm around hers. “Come with me,” he insisted. To his surprise she didn’t fight him. He led her to the library. No one was to be in that part of the house and it seemed a safe enough place for them to have this conversation. Once inside he shut the door and clicked the lock in place. He wouldn’t take any chance of someone interrupting him.

  “Was that necessary?” she asked, gesturing toward the lock.

  “Absolutely,” he insisted. “Please sit. I need to tell you…” He swallowed hard. “Please sit,” he repeated. This was going to be far more difficult than he’d anticipated.

  She studied him a moment, then sat on the nearby settee. He wanted to join her but he couldn’t. Not yet. If he had any hope of seeing this through he needed the space to move. He pressed his palm over his mouth as he considered what to say. How did one tell the woman he loved that he was a cursed fool? He dropped his hand to his side and stepped over to her. “I didn’t have a good childhood.” He laughed nervously. “That’s not the entire truth. I mean it is, but it is stating something that doesn’t quite convey the terror I experienced daily.”

  “My lord,” she started to stand.

  He gestured for her to remain where she was. “No. I can’t finish this if you come closer.” Jonah closed his eyes and took several fortifying breaths. “And please, call me by my given name. You gave me permission to use yours and I should have done the same.” He tried to smile but it was difficult. “Call me Jonah.”

  She nodded. “All right, Jonah. I’ll try to be patient. Tell me what you need me to know.” Callie folded her hands in her lap and sat back to wait.

  “My mother died when I was a boy.” He could still see her in the back of his mind. “She was so beautiful and she loved me. Her love was so wonderful and all encompassing.” Jonah met Callie’s gaze. “When she died my whole world changed and I’ve always blamed myself for her death.”

  “You were a boy,” Callie said. “I’m sorry I can’t stay quiet. How could you have possibly been at fault?”

  “I wanted to go outside and play,” he said. “I loved being outdoors and I had been learning to ride. She told me I couldn’t go and spoiled child that I was I told her I hated her and ran to the nursery.” His heart beat heavily in my chest. “She started to follow me but lost her balance and fell now the grand staircase. Her neck snapped” His emotions were overwhelming him. The lump in his throat was making it hard for him to speak, but somehow he managed. “She never had a chance.”

  “That is an unfortunate accident. I’m sorry but you cannot blame yourself.” Her voice was firm as she spoke. Jonah wished he could believe her. He couldn’t. He knew the truth.

  “My father loved her and when she died a part of him died too.” He looked away from her. “He blamed me more than I blamed myself. He started drinking heavily and was inebriated far more than not.”

  “Grief can be difficult…”

  “We were all grieving,” Jonah said. “My father more than most. He drank himself into a grave. He went riding and his horse threw him.” Jonah laughed, but it wasn’t one sprouted from joy, but more on the maniacal side. “Ironically he snapped his neck too.” Finally he faced her again. “I’m cursed don’t you see. My soul is black and that is why I should remain alone.”

  “I cannot agree with you,” she said. Her lips were pursed together and her eyebrows furrowed in displeasure. “I won’t.”

  “I never wanted to feel the way I do for you,” he began. “I tried to push you away. I needed to save you from me. If something happened to you…”

  “It wouldn’t be your fault,” she said. “You cannot deny yourself happiness because you’re afraid to live.” Callie stood and strode over to him, then wrapped her arms around his waist. “Let yourself have love. No one knows what his or her future is. If we did imagine how little we would actually do? We might never venture outside.”

  “I know…” He sighed. “I’ve had a lot to think about and it is time that I let go of my past.” Jonah cupped her cheek in his palm. “It won’t be easy, but you give me courage. I love you. I think I always have.”

  She smiled. “You cannot pinpoint the moment you realized it?” Her lips twitched.

  “No,” he said. “It matters not. What does is that I intend to love you for the rest of my days, for as many as I’m given. If you’ll have me that is.” He lifted her palm to his lips and pressed a kiss there. “Callie, darling, will you be my wife?”

  A tear fell down her cheek. He wiped it away. He hated to see her cry for any reason and he hoped he hadn’t caused he any pain. “I do love you,” she said. “Even through all your false charm. I could see beneath it, and yes, I will marry you.”

  He leaned down and kissed her quick. “Good,” he said. “Because convincing your brother that a marriage between us will work might be one of the hardest tasks I may ever have to accomplish.”

  Callie laughed and leaned her head against his chest. “Jonah, my love, I have faith you will complete an undertaking that challenging with ease.”

  He took in a harsh breath. His emotions were still raw, but he had never felt better in his life. Callie loved him, and his heart belonged to her. They would find happiness for as long as life allowed them to remain at each other’s side.

  Epilogue

  A year later…

  Callie had a secret.

  One she couldn’t wait to share with her husband. They had been married almost a year. After Jonah had convinced Daniel that he loved her they had been married by a special license. It had taken a good sennight for Daniel to cave. He had even threatened to challenge Jonah to a duel for compromising her. Iris had talked him out of that. Callie would be forever grateful to her for convincing Daniel to abandon that stupidity.

  Her wedding had been quick and perfect. She didn’t need a church or special gown. All she had needed was Jonah, and the promises they made to each other. From that moment on she started a new journey. One that involved proving to her husband he not only deserved love, but that his happiness was nothing to be afraid of. It had been a fruitful, as well as, pleasurable year.

  “Jonah, love, are you in here?” Callie called out as she entered the library. He liked to work in there instead of his study. He claimed it had more light and helped him from falling into bouts of depression. That was why she had decided to redecorate and remodel his study.

  “I’m here,” he called from the doors leading out to the garden. “It’s so lovely out I decided to take a walk. The roses are starting to bloom. Come walk with me.”

  Callie followed him outside. His project had been renovating the gardens. Along with the gardeners, he had helped pick out plants and design the space. There was a new fountain in the center. Jonah had commissioned it to be carved in her likeness. He’d claimed she was his Aphrodite, and wanted to leave a piece of her on the property always.

  “I still think this fountain is a little ostentatious,” she said. “But if you like it, I’m not going to complain.”

  He laughed. “I love it, but I love you more. Nothing compares to my Callie.”

  “I’ve finished with your study,” she told him. “When we’re done exploring the gardens I’d like for you to come look at what I’ve done.”

  “All right,” he agreed. “I’m sure it will be wonderful. You’ve made the changes and you know what I like.” He nuzzled her neck. “But I’d rather convince you to join me upstairs for a…nap.”

  “You know very well if we go upstairs very little sleeping will be had.” She wrapped her arm around her waist. “Let me show you the study, and after maybe I will be amiable to your suggestion.”

  He wiggled his eyebrows. “I have a few more ideas if you’re willing to listen.”

  She shook her head but didn’t say a word. It would only encourage his wicked behavior. Instead she stepped away from him and walked back inside the house. He followed close behind her and they went straight to the study. She opened the large oak door and went inside. Callie had them knock out the window and put in doors that led outside to the garden. There were glass panes in the doors so more sunlight would fill the room. The wall behind his desk was nothing but shelves filled with books he loved, and enough open space for him to add to his collection. There were two large mahogany chairs by his desk for any guests he had. On the far right wall was a small bar. Jonah had given up brandy, but still offered spirits to his friends when they visited. On his desk she’d had most of his ledgers set there for him to peruse, a well of ink, and a new quill. He had everything he needed to complete his business.

  “It’s exquisite,” he said. “I will enjoy working in here.” He turned to her. “Later, much later, after I’ve had some private time with my lovely wife.”

  “You’re incorrigible.” His charm was real now and when his dimples came out she melted. When she’d fallen in love with him he’d been a charmer, but now he was more than that. He was hers. Her love, her life, her husband…and soon to be the father of her child. “Before we retire upstairs I have one other surprise for you.”

  “Oh?” He lifted a brow. “What could be better than this?”

  She took his hand and placed it on her stomach. “Building our family?”

  “A baby?” He stared down at his hand against her waist and then smiled. “I’m blessed to be loved by you.” He scooped her up and carried her out of the room. “And I fully intend to show you how much I love you. Over, and over again.”

  She shrieked with laughter as he carried her up the stairs and to the room they shared. Callie had never taken a room of her own. Not in the traditional sense. She did have a sitting room attached to her dressing room, but she would never be apart from her husband. She needed him as much as he did her. “You do always keep your promises to me,” she said. “I’d expect nothing less than a full demonstration of your love and adoration.”

  “And you never should,” he said as he set her down in their room. He pulled her into his arms and pressed his lips to hers. She leaned into him and sighed. Life couldn’t be more perfect than this…

  Thank you so much for taking the time to read my book.

  Your opinion matters!

  Please take a moment to review this book on your favorite review site and share your opinion with fellow readers.

  www.authordawnbrower.com

  Acknowledgments

  Special thanks to Elizabeth Evans. Your encouragement and assistance with this book helped me immensely. I am grateful for all you do for me.

  About Dawn Brower

  USA TODAY Bestselling author, DAWN BROWER writes both historical and contemporary romance. There are always stories inside her head; she just never thought she could make them come to life. That creativity has finally found an outlet.

  Growing up, she was the only girl out of six children. She raised two boys as a single mother; there is never a dull moment in her life. Reading books is her favorite hobby, and she loves all genres.

  www.authordawnbrower.com

  TikTok: @1DawnBrower

  Also by Dawn Brower

  HISTORICAL

  Stand alone:

  Broken Pearl

  A Wallflower’s Christmas Kiss

  A Gypsy’s Christmas Kiss

  * * *

  Marsden Romances

  A Flawed Jewel

  A Crystal Angel

  A Treasured Lily

  A Sanguine Gem

  A Hidden Ruby

  A Discarded Pearl

  * * *

  Marsden Descendants

  Rebellious Angel

  Tempting An American Princess

  How to Kiss a Debutante

  Loving an America Spy

  * * *

  Linked Across Time

  Saved by My Blackguard

  Searching for My Rogue

  Seduction of My Rake

  Surrendering to My Spy

  Spellbound by My Charmer

  Stolen by My Knave

  Separated from My Love

  Scheming with My Duke

  Secluded with My Hellion

  Secrets of My Beloved

  Spying on My Scoundrel

  Shocked by My Vixen

  Smitten with My Christmas Minx

  Vision of Love

  * * *

  Enduring Legacy

  The Legacy’s Origin

  Charming Her Rogue

  * * *

  Ever Beloved

  Forever My Earl

  Always My Viscount

  Infinitely My Marquess

  Eternally My Duke

  * * *

  Bluestockings Defying Rogues

  When An Earl Turns Wicked

  A Lady Hoyden’s Secret

  One Wicked Kiss

  Earl In Trouble

  All the Ladies Love Coventry

  One Less Scandalous Earl

  Confessions of a Hellion

  The Vixen in Red

  Lady Pear’s Duke

  * * *

  Scandal Meets Love

  Love Only Me (Amanda Mariel)

  Find Me Love (Dawn Brower)

  If It’s Love (Amanda Mariel)

  Odds of Love (Dawn Brower)

  Believe In Love (Amanda Mariel)

  Chance of Love (Dawn Brower)

  Love and Holly (Amanda Mariel)

  Love and Mistletoe (Dawn Brower

  * * *

  The Neverhartts

  Never Defy a Vixen

  Never Disregard a Wallflower

  Never Dare a Hellion

  Never Deceive a Bluestocking

  Never Disrespect a Governess

  Never Desire a Duke

  * * *

  CONTEMPORARY

  Stand alone:

  Deadly Benevolence

  Snowflake Kisses

  Kindred Lies

  * * *

  Sparkle City

  Diamonds Don’t Cry

  Hooking a Firefly

 

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