"Nope," he shook his head, his mullet swinging to either side of his neck. "Sorry can't be of more help to you guys."

  A thought hit me. “Different question. Know anything about Diarmuid?"

  "Oh yeah. Donn, the Red’s dead son. That little brat. He was so lanky and spindly, even I could have snapped him like a toothpick."

  Nehemiah spun the chamber of his revolver. "Did you know he’s undead now? Donn raised him."

  "I had heard that, but did not believe it."

  The wizard shoved his revolver back in the holster. "After raising a massive beast like Balor from the dead, a skinny twig like his Diarmuid would be easy right?"

  "Balor is back too? How long have I been away from Tir na nOg? Oh well, I'm glad I'm not there with all these rotting corpses walking around. Might drive me insane."

  "You wouldn't know the whereabouts of Aengus Og?"

  "Aengus Og I do know of. He stays here in Berkeley."

  "Any idea where we could find him on a night like tonight?" asked Charice.

  "Yeah. He's either in Half Price books, or sometimes he plays the acoustic guitar on the corner of University and Shattuck. And if he's not in any of those places he'd probably be at Zachary's Pizza. He loves that joint. Why would you need to talk to the Celtic god of love?"

  "Donn sent Diarmuid to live with him,” I said. “Apparently he figured he would use his newly risen son to strengthen the bonds of friendship."

  A disgusted look crossed Iarfhlaith’s face. "Politics. Another reason why I never venture into Tir na nOg. So much side switching. And in the middle of it all, the Morrigan staying neutral as ever. Maintaining the balance of Chaos and Order. Just watch out if you fall on the wrong side of the balance. Am I right?"

  I wanted to ask Iarfhlaith more about the Morrigan as that definitely caught my attention, but we didn't have time. "Well thanks Iarfhlaith, and it was nice seeing you again. I appreciate that you didn't end up killing me or my friends this time. We could've done without Rob though."

  At the mention of our last encounter Iarfhlaith broke into a booming fit of laughter causing the ground beneath our feet to vibrate. He wiped the tears from his eyes. “My, Rob, your new master is almost as funny as you are. I like you guys. It was nice seeing you again.”

  I smiled and flipped my jacket collar up. It was fixing to be a cool night.

  “Oh. You reminded me Master O’Farrell. Give it here.” The Fir Bolg motioned for my jacket. I took it off and handed it to him.

  “You seem to carry a lot of items all of the time. As a Fir Bolg and crafter of bags of holding, I cannot in good conscience let you go a second time without modifying your jacket into a jacket of holding. Especially since you are the first good master my friend Mr. Swellfellow has had in a long time.”

  I patted my pockets. “Um. This is awkward, but I don’t have any money to give you right now.”

  “Nonsense. I’ll do it as a gift. It won’t be done for a week or so mind you. Besides this jacket is torn and shredded anyways. You could use a new one.”

  “Well, if you insist.”

  Iarfhlaith nodded, then looked down at the Bay from the crest of the grassy hill we stood atop. He licked a finger and tested the wind. “Beautiful night, no? Now if you don't mind I'm gonna go back to flying my kite. The night isn’t as young, but the wind is picking up. I really want to try out my new baby."

  We left the Fir Bolg to fly his new kite in peace. As I walked through the grass down the hill back to my ‘Stang. I couldn't help but think about what he said. The Morrigan was trying to maintain the balance between Chaos and Order. What did that mean? I was also really disappointed that he didn't know where Tain was but at least we had a lead on Aengus Og.

  "So where to next," asked Nehemiah.

  "I'm starving," said Charice.

  "Sounds like we're getting pizza," I said.

  13 Bald Biker

  I honked at the Prius driver who still hadn’t moved well after the light turned green. What was it with Prius drivers?

  "Do any of you remember where Zachary's pizza is?" I asked the group.

  Charice and Nehemiah shook their heads.

  "I do," said Rob.

  "What street is it on?"

  Rob puffed out his lips and thought. "I don't know. I just fly there."

  "Okay. Not helpful. Charice look it up on your phone please."

  Charice grunted and struggled with her phone. “I just charged it and it already died.”

  “Uh oh,” said Nehemiah. “I should have warned you. Bad Luck tears up modern tech.”

  Charice’s eyes widened. “My phone is dead?”

  The wizard frowned. “Yeeeeaaaahhh. This is why I don’t have a smartphone. If you’re lucky, your powers only drained the battery.”

  Charice scowled at Nehemiah. “And if I’m not?”

  Nehemiah grimaced.

  I handed my phone to Rob. Since playing video games at my apartment almost non-stop between monster hunting, he’d gotten up to speed on modern tech.

  We cruised up University Ave. It was a four-lane road split up the middle by a cement divider decorated with skinny trees.

  "Found it?"

  Rob flicked his tiny finger across my smart phone screen, searching for the address. "Stupid paid Google advertising. It's only showing me every other pizza place in Berkeley besides Zachary's."

  "Another reason I don’t do smart phones. They just make people dumb," said Nehemiah.

  "But that has nothing to do with the fact that you can’t use them period." I said.

  "Hey, watch it," said the wizard.

  "Okay I found it," said Rob. "It's on—"

  But I didn’t hear the address because right then my Keening scar erupted into a burning fire within me. I looked in my rearview mirror and locked eyes with Nehemiah, both of us feeling it.

  "What is that?" asked Charice.

  "You can feel that?" I asked.

  "Yes. It's familiar."

  I didn't need to explain. The roar of a Harley Davidson exploded in our ears as a biker rolled up alongside my car. For a moment in time I saw what everyone else would see. A man with a gaunt face riding the motorcycle with an empty helmet strapped to his hip. Streetlights reflected off of his bald head. In fact all hair fled his face, even eyebrows. His eyebrow ridges were so thick, they jutted out so that shadows were cast over his eye sockets. He wore all leather including spiked gloves. But looking through the Glamour I could see that the upside down helmet strapped to his hip had an upside down skull inside of it. And the skull grinned right at us. When I looked up to where the bald face should've been there was nothing there.

  It was the headless rider. The Dullahan.

  "Where's his head?" screamed Charice.

  Rob squealed. "It's in his helmet!"

  The last time we'd seen the Dullahan, we’d fought him at Donn the Red’s fortress island, Tech Duinn. After defeating Donn, his head honcho—pun alert—the Dullahan had chased us all the way back to the threshold and through the Between. My pal Nehemiah had stood in the gap, letting Charice, Tain, Rob, me, and the rest of the people that we saved, flee while he stood, barring the way through the threshold. In that moment he’d ripped the spinal whip from the headless rider, rendering him weaponless. And when we got out of The Between and through the threshold back to Earth, Nehemiah used the whip to completely demolish the threshold gate leading to the Otherside so that the Dullahan and other monsters like it couldn't come through the gate into Vallejo, at least not that way.

  In the process Nehemiah lost his own staff, the tool he used to funnel Chaos magic and turn it into Bad Luck. Since then, Nehemiah used the spinal whip as his own weapon. Because he already channeled Chaos magic, he figured it would work out for him. But the spinal whip proved to have a life of its own. On many occasions it turned and attacked Nehemiah like a skeletal snake. Even Cennétig the Fachan pawn shop owner didn’t want any of that.

  "He's back for his whip," said the wizard.

  I don't know why he wanted his whip back, because he clearly didn't need it. His right hand remained on the motorcycle throttle, while his left hand produced an Uzi.

  "Everyone get down!" I barely managed to yell, as very real, non-magical bullets sprayed in the general direction of my ‘Stang. All of my passengers sank below the window line, while I did my best to sink as low in my chair as I could and not wreck my car. My left arm never moved in a circle so fast as I manually rolled up the driver-side window. I love this old muscle car, but right then I really wished for automatic windows.

  Thank goodness no bullets made it inside my car before I got the window up. The Dullahan kept firing but his shots were stopped short by the Luck charm I had placed on my Fastback.

  "Sit tight everyone," I said. "He can’t shoot us while my car is charmed.”

  “If the charm lasts,” groaned Rob.

  We approached a red light and in a few milliseconds I determined that the intersection was free enough for me to hang a left and drift down a side street. The tires squealed as I tested the grip. It passed the test. The Dullahan crossed onto the sidewalk causing a civilian to jump out of the way, staying right alongside me, now on the right side of the car.

  I sped up and weaved down more streets than I could count, taking left turns and right turns with wild abandon. My rear view and side mirrors flashed with the reflections of Uzi muzzle flair.

  “How much ammo does Jack Skellington have?” Rob yelled.

  I found myself in a residential neighborhood with old houses built in the 50’s and 60’s surrounding me.

  "Sweet Denzel Washington! Sean, you gotta get out of this neighborhood. People are going to get hurt," said the wizard.

  "I know! I know!"

  I use the hand over hand technique they teach you in the DMV driving classes, whipping my steering wheel back and forth as I shredded layers of tire rubber. In under a minute I was back on the main road surrounded by businesses. Since it was nighttime, most of the businesses were closed and the chances of stray bullets hitting any civilians diminished a lot.

  Apparently the Dullahan ran out of Uzi ammo, which was nice until he started flailing a chain whip at my car. On the first impact Celtic knots flared all around my car as they had been during the whole drive-by shoot out. But this time I noticed when his chain struck my car, sparks flew off the Celtic knots. The charm began to buckle under the onslaught of his chain attacks.

  "Ah crap," I groaned.

  Chaotic magic pulsed from the Dullahan through his chain as his relentless attack went on. The Celtic knots lacing my car grew dimmer and dimmer. The headless rider somehow wrapped his chain around a section of Celtic knots, pulling it away from the surface of my car. I turned the car down a side street hoping to break away from the dead biker, or at least yank him off his bike. The tension from the chain wrapped around the Luck charm fought against the steering wheel under my hands, threatening to give my palms blisters.

  Snap.

  Emerald ribbons tore and blew into the wind before evaporating. The Luck charm had shattered.

  A sinking feeling hit my gut. The Dullahan destroyed the only thing protecting us. Now we were vulnerable. My Chuck Taylor All-Star mashed on the gas. The roar of my Fastback was answered by the roar of his Harley-Davidson. I wondered where his black horse was and how you'd swap that out for a Harley-Davidson. Didn't really matter right then, did it?

  The Dullahan continued to chase us down streets. He caught up to me and rammed me with his Harley. Apparently he didn't care about his Harley like I cared about my Mustang. He should have flipped over me when he collided with my muscle car. Instead he hit me with the force of a semi-truck causing me to veer into oncoming traffic. Charice and Nehemiah screamed and it was all that I could do to tap into my Luck magic and submit to the magic as it guided me around light poles, fire hydrants, bike lock poles, and trash cans, as well as a few oncoming cars. I don't know how I made it through. But I didn't make it through without a scratch. I sideswiped a stop sign completely taking it out. The Dullahan swerved around the other side of my car and begin lashing the passenger side with the whip. The passenger side window shattered spraying glass all over Charice.

  "No!" I yelled.

  The Dullahan rammed the side of the ‘Stang with the bike again, sending me off course into an alleyway between some two and three-story buildings. I slammed on the brakes sliding down the entirety of the alley. Smoke billowed from my tires. We slid face-to-face into a brick wall. At the last moment my car halted to stop, the stench of overheated brake pads making me flare my nostrils.

  We all scrambled out of the car. Nehemiah spotted a ladder mounted to the side of the building. The four of us crouched behind a large dumpster as the Dullahan dual wielded two 9 mm pistols letting off a barrage of bullets.

  From beneath his trench coat Nehemiah whipped out the .357 magnum revolver and primed the gun.

  "I'm gonna try something fancy, Sean. You two get up that ladder. Rob you distract him. Ready? Go."

  Charice and I ran for the ladder and started climbing it.

  "Ready to see how lucky you are, eh lucky charms?" The wizard grabbed my hobgoblin by the scruff of his Celtic's jersey and launched him into the air.

  Rob spun in the air, toppling as he hovered before turning into an owl. The Dullahan unloaded lead at my hobgoblin who fluttered his wings and flew into the sky drawing the Dullahan’s attention away from Nehemiah. Charice and I breached the top of the ladder and stumbled onto the roof. At that moment amethyst Bad Luck ran down the length of Nehemiah's arm and it enveloped his revolver.

  Crack.

  The revolver boomed with a single shot. A bullet enveloped in amethyst magic launched at the Dullahan. The Bad Luck bullet bit the Dullahan square in the chest, exploding into a reign of amethyst sparks and purple electric lightning pulses.

  The Dullahan fell to one knee, smoke rising from his chest. Nehemiah spun and scrambled up the ladder. The creepy sockets void of eyeballs in the upside down skull tracked our movement, somehow still staring at us.

  Rob took to the skies and didn't look back. In a few breaths he was a spec on horizon. Fire flared in my veins. "That little coward," I shouted at my hob. Rob was a little squeamish, but he knew how I felt about running from danger. I mean sure, we were running right now. But we were also doing our best to fight back with every retreat. We didn't leave each other behind though. That’s my rule. I'd have to forget him for now and focus on the three of us that remained.

  Before us lay a playground of rooftops all various heights and sizes, some connected, some with gaps between them. Ventilation shafts, chimneys, and plumbing and electrical pipes were all there to stumble us or help us hide behind from the Dullahan. As I scanned the terrain I formed a plan in my mind.

  "If we loop around this way," I said using my arm to direct my friends, "we can circle back here and lead the Dullahan a wild goose chase. When we make it back to the ladder we can get down to my car and be out of here. Hopefully we’ll ditch him along the way."

  We nodded and agreed to the plan, then took off.

  Nehemiah and I ran over rooftops and Charice used the advantage of her newfound amethyst wings, flying low over the rooftops. By the time the Dullahan climbed to the top of the ladder we were a ways off on a different building entirely, like living out some kind of Dick Van Dike scene from Mary Poppins. Gunshots rang out and bullets pinged off of nearby pipes and chimneys. How in the heck was a headless man able to shoot so accurately? The answer was magic. And it was just plain stupid.

  Nehemiah and I switched off launching attacks at the Dullahan. Me shooting orbs of Good Luck and Nehemiah shooting Bad Luck at the Dullahan, or sometimes .357 magnum bullets. A return shot from the Dullahan grazed my thigh and I cried out in pain. I tripped over a pipe, falling headlong into a cement building lip. I hit my head hard. My vision blurred and I stumbled, almost falling off the roof, but caught myself on the edge. Nehemiah tried to steer the Dullahan away from me, but he was pretty far away for me in the Dullahan knowing that I was hit came after me like a mountain lion after a downed deer. From the skies Charice launched a blast of wind that knocked the Dullahan back and prevented them from shooting me point blank on the building’s edge. The problem was that he had now turned his efforts on her. She dove and flew in between two buildings away from the Dullahan's line of sight and his deadly gunfire.

  He had to be out of bullets now. Where was he getting so much ammo? Whatever. I just needed to survive.

  The wizard took the Dullahan head on, no pun intended. While I tried to gather my bearings the Dullahan lashed out at Nehemiah with his whip in one arm and his 9 mm in the other. Nehemiah ducked and dipped between obstacles seeking cover behind piping and electrical boxes as he returned his own revolver fire. He was trying to close the gap between the Dullahan and I before the Dullahan took me out. I got a leg over the lip of the roof, then pulled myself up and over. I took a knee and summoned more Good Luck again. Nehemiah was hitting the Dullahan with everything he had. But without his staff he was clearly outmatched. Even with the birch wand.

  The spinal whip was in Nehemiah's hand all of a sudden. Whether of its own volition, or Nehemiah's, or the Dullahan's I couldn't tell. Nehemiah lashed out at the Dullahan with his spinal whip and the Dullahan met the attack with the chain links. Sparks flew in the air as cursed bone met metal. Nehemiah snagged the chain with the whip, ripped it from the Dullahan’s boney fingers, and yanked it back to himself.

  He grinned, a little arrogant. "Who's your daddy now?"

  But the spinal whip and the chain link wriggled to life and wrapped themselves around the wizard’s legs, arms, and throat before he could register what was happening. Nehemiah tumbled to the ground struggling against the restraints trying to break free. At that point I was up and charged the Dullahan, free running and performing parkour over and under pipes. I ran up the ramp shape provided by a rooftop doorway exit. As I vaulted from the top of the doorway I twisted in the air several times before landing a tornado kick on the Dullahan's chest. I hit the ground and rolled as he was knocked back to the rooftop. I leapt up and launched a string of punches at the Dullahan, each one shooting an emerald Luck orb at the headless monstrosity. Each attack exploded as it impacted on his chest. But no matter how many times I successfully hit the Dullahan, the chain and spinal whip continued to wrap tighter and tighter around Nehemiah.

 

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