“I thought so, too,” Molly admitted, her heart clenching. “Things were going well. It’s what I wanted. I care very much for Logan and Judah.”

  Avery rolled to her stomach and cradled her chin in her hands. “So what’s the problem, then?”

  “Rufus is fully trained. He’s with Judah now. I don’t need to be there to train him anymore.”

  “So?”

  “So there’s no reason for us to see each other every day.” Nothing like stating the obvious. Avery clearly wasn’t listening.

  “That’s ridiculous and you know it. As if you need Rufus to have a reason to see Logan. Haven’t you guys ever heard of dating? It’s this new thing where a man and a woman who like each other go out to dinner or a movie. Or you could take Judah to the park or the zoo. It’s not rocket science.”

  “If only it were that simple.”

  “And why isn’t it?” That was obviously what Avery was getting at and had been digging for since the moment she’d entered Molly’s bedroom.

  She wasn’t going to give up until she got to the truth, and the more they talked, the worse Molly felt. Maybe it was better to just blurt out what Avery wanted to hear.

  “Judah ran away because of me.”

  “I’m sorry. Come again?” Avery sounded stunned, as well she might. It was a horrible, miserable truth, and Molly had to live with it every day.

  “It’s more complicated than that, but I feel responsible.”

  Avery rolled to a sitting position and tucked a pillow on top of her crossed legs. “I can tell this is going to take a while. You can’t keep going on this way, holding everything in. You need to talk about it.”

  “The petting zoo is nearing completion,” Molly said, trying to brighten her tone. “It will be up and running well before the Christmas season starts. I’m sure you’ve seen all the animals coming in.”

  “I’m in charge of the finances, remember?” Avery said dryly. “I’m well aware of how the petting zoo is doing.”

  “I’m shopping for bargains,” Molly protested. “I’ve even gotten some of the ranchers to donate to the cause.”

  “You’re avoiding the issue,” Avery pointed out blandly.

  “Yes, I am.”

  “You’ll feel better if you talk about it.”

  Avery waited in silence while Molly gathered her thoughts.

  “The day Judah ran away, Logan and I were out on his back porch having a pretty serious conversation,” Molly started. “The kind that will make or break a relationship. I thought—I believed—that his intentions were to try to move forward, to give us a second chance.”

  “That doesn’t surprise me. I’ve seen how it is between you two. We all have.”

  “Well, it wasn’t. That wasn’t why he wanted to talk to me.”

  Avery shook her head. “How can you say that?”

  “Okay, so Helen was supposed to be watching Judah and keeping him otherwise occupied while we had our conversation. It didn’t quite go that way.”

  “Judah heard you?”

  “Yes, and he put his own twist on what he heard. He thought it was all his fault his daddy had such a hard time.”

  “That’s awful. And it’s not true. Anyone can see how much Logan loves Judah.”

  “I know, right? He’s a really good father.”

  “Yes, he is. But I still don’t understand how you play into Judah’s running away from home.”

  “I think the way Judah heard it, he believed if it wasn’t for him, Logan and I would be together. As in married. And after seeing us hugging each other the night of my birthday, he kind of had it in his head that we might become a couple—a family.”

  “I have to admit, the thought has crossed my mind, as well,” Avery said.

  “Me, too.”

  “Then why are you avoiding them?”

  “Because the truth is, Logan doesn’t want to be with me.”

  Avery shook her head fervently. “No way. I don’t believe that, and neither should you.”

  “But I do. I heard it from his own lips.”

  “No. Way. You can’t convince me.”

  “Well, it’s true.”

  “Oh, come on, Molly. What could he possibly have said that would have made you think he is no longer interested in pursuing a relationship with you when, as you pointed out, it wasn’t all that long ago that you were out in the petting zoo enclosure nearly...petting?” She laughed at her own joke.

  Molly didn’t so much as crack a smile, because it wasn’t funny. It was her heart that had been broken for a second time, and this time it was worse, because it wasn’t just about Logan, but about Judah, as well.

  She should have known better, should have guarded her heart from the very beginning.

  “Judah asked Logan flat out if he would have married me if it weren’t for having a baby.”

  “How on earth could he understand something as complicated as that?”

  Molly shook her head. “I have no idea. I don’t see how he could. It hurts my heart that he cares enough about me that he could see a future where his daddy and I were together.”

  “That’s pretty sweet if you ask me.”

  “Yeah, except for how Logan answered.”

  “Of course he would have asked you to marry him. Everyone who knew you two back then thought you were the perfect couple. We were all expecting it to happen any day when—well, when things went upside down.” Avery leaned forward in expectation of Molly’s explanation, which was a long time in coming.

  “That’s not what he said.”

  “No way.”

  “Yes, way. His exact words when Judah asked if he was going to marry me back then were that he said to be honest, he didn’t know. He didn’t know, Avery. I had given my whole heart to him and thought we had a real future in front of us, and he didn’t know.”

  “Well, maybe it was just his immaturity speaking.”

  “After what he’s been through, I can confidently say he’s one of the most mature men I know.”

  “I don’t mean now. I mean back then. He obviously didn’t have his head screwed on straight.”

  “Yes, well, maybe not. But that doesn’t change the facts. He has Judah now. He had plenty of time to turn the conversation around if he’d wanted to, so I have to assume he didn’t. And even afterward—I know he’s been to the farm several times with Judah to visit the donkeys. He hasn’t even tried to see me.”

  “That you know of. Because you’ve been totally avoiding him. Hasn’t anyone ever warned you about making assumptions? Especially where your heart is concerned.”

  “What I know about my heart is that I have to learn to guard it better.”

  “Or,” suggested Avery, “you could learn to follow it when it’s pointing you in the right direction.”

  Molly remained silent as Avery’s words pierced her.

  “You aren’t in high school anymore, sis. If you want a future with Logan, you have to fight for it. You can’t just wait for it to happen. I know if you dig deep, you’ll find the strength. If you wait for him to make the first move and it never happens, you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering if you could have had a good life with Logan and Judah.”

  Molly stood and looked out the window. From here, she could see the barn and part of the petting zoo enclosure.

  Logan had done that for her, after she’d told him not to.

  Maybe Avery was right. Maybe she’d given up too quickly on what could be the biggest two blessings in her entire life.

  She turned to Avery and blew out a breath. “How did you get to be so practical?” Molly asked. “You shoot from the hip and hit your target every time.”

  “Well, not every time,” Avery said with a grin. “But for the most part, yeah. It’s a gift.”

  * * *

  Logan didn’t know what to do. Molly was obviously avoiding him. She’d completely pulled away from him. Should he honor that, or ignore it and pursue her when she might not wish to be pursued? His mind and heart were split right down the middle.

  One thing he knew for certain was he didn’t want to hurt her any more. He’d already given her a lifetime of pain, when she deserved everything a good life had to offer. If that meant staying away from her and allowing her to live her own life, then maybe that’s what he ought to do—although trying to explain that to Judah was going to be difficult.

  They’d both been making extra trips to Winslow’s Woodlands to see the donkeys, and all the other animals that had been showing up recently. Molly was really doing her petting zoo up right, with llamas and alpacas, goats and sheep, a couple of miniature horses, and most recently, Sharpe and Frost had put in a chicken coop. It wouldn’t be long now before she was open for business, and Judah was super excited about it. He wanted to be the first one in line to pet and feed all of the animals.

  So did Logan, but for an entirely different reason.

  He wanted to see Molly. Like—see her. With his eyes. Maybe get close enough to say a few words.

  As many times as he’d been to the farm recently, he would have thought he’d have at least had a glimpse of her at some point, even if at a distance. She was definitely avoiding him like the plague.

  Several times he’d thought about forcing the issue—going to her house and standing out on the front porch until she agreed to see him. Maybe throw stones at her window and sing a love ballad to her. That would get their dogs howling.

  But seriously, that was part of the whole not wanting to hurt her thing. The last thing he wanted to do was put pressure on her if she really had nothing more to say to him.

  And yet, how could that even be?

  He still didn’t know why she’d left in such a hurry that day after they’d found Judah. He knew she’d been upset. They all were. But something more had happened. At some point during that conversation with Judah, Molly had flipped her heart off like a switch.

  It had to have been something he’d said—but what?

  That’s why he was so anxious to see her again, to speak with her. One of the reasons, anyway. The other was to find out where her heart stood.

  Was there any possibility of them having a future together?

  He would take it as slow as a snail if that’s what she wanted.

  If only he knew what she wanted.

  That’s it. He was going to call her.

  If she didn’t want to speak to him, she could tell him so. But it wasn’t only his own heart he was thinking of—it was Judah’s. He’d never said as much, but he was confused that his Miss Molly was no longer hanging around with them. She hadn’t even been out to visit Rufus.

  He pulled out his cell and was surprised to find he’d received a text message. From Molly. Meet me at our bench at the petting zoo at 6 p.m. Come alone.

  His heart welled until he couldn’t swallow.

  She’d called it our bench. Maybe she hadn’t done it on purpose, but there it was quite literally in black-and-white.

  Our bench.

  Not only that, but even after everything they’d been through, he had to chuckle at the way she’d worded the message. He knew what she meant. They’d screwed up twice where Judah was concerned. This time, he had to be absolutely positive Judah was with his mother and was staying with his mother while he went completely elsewhere.

  Still, it did rather sound like a kidnapper’s ransom note or a money drop. He wondered if she’d done it on purpose.

  Probably not. There wasn’t much to smile about these days, and he couldn’t imagine she was trying to make a joke.

  Not about this.

  The next few hours ticked by painfully slowly. He couldn’t get comfortable, couldn’t concentrate on his work. Numbers were just a big jumble to him.

  Finally, he just sat down by Judah and played a video game with him. If Judah wondered why his dad kept losing, he didn’t say so.

  At long last it was 5:30 p.m. He’d already spoken to his parents about his meeting with Molly, and of course, they were very encouraging. They had always loved Molly.

  This time, they promised, Judah would not leave their sight.

  Not even to go to the bathroom.

  Logan didn’t tell Judah where he was going or who he was meeting. If this turned out to be a final goodbye, Logan thought it was better that Judah not know about it. In a way, there had already been that split, since they hadn’t seen Molly since the day Judah ran away. If Judah knew he was meeting her he might get his hopes up again.

  Just like, despite his own best efforts, Logan’s hopes were rising. If things went well, maybe they really could work it out.

  He left a few minutes early so he could stop by a corner gas station and pick up a treat for Judah in case he had any questions when Logan returned to the house about where he’d been.

  Even so, he was ten minutes early to the meeting, which surprised him, as he had chosen to walk rather than to take his truck the short distance, figuring he could use the fresh air and the time to think before their meeting. He’d always had a long stride, but he suspected he might have been walking double time in his haste to see Molly again.

  His heart started racing when he reached the petting zoo enclosure and discovered the bench was empty. Had she changed her mind?

  He knew this was the right bench. It was the only bench. And they had history here.

  He sat down and removed his hat, tossing it beside him, then clenched his hands together and leaned on his forearms, staring at the ground, gathering his wits about him and trying not to count the seconds.

  Five minutes went by, and then ten.

  Still, no sign of Molly.

  By this time, he had his cell phone in his hand and had checked it at least once a minute against the time. This wasn’t like her. Molly was a teacher. She wasn’t in the habit of being late. If anything, she was early to everything.

  But not, apparently, to this.

  Had she changed her mind? Gotten cold feet?

  He would wait another five minutes and then he would go. There was no use sitting here torturing himself for nothing. Although he wished she would have at least had the courtesy to text to tell him she wasn’t going to make it.

  Which was the one and only reason he was giving her more time. Because whatever else Molly might or might not be, she was kind. Even if the whole reason she’d set up this meeting was to let him down, he knew she’d let him down gently.

  Or at least, as gently as she could.

  She wouldn’t just not show up.

  Five more minutes passed, and Logan stood up to leave. He jammed his hat back on his head and yanked the brim low over his brow, shading his eyes.

  He was hurt, and he was angry.

  Their relationship had always been about trust or the lack of it—mostly on his end. Where was that trust now? Was this some kind of game, seeing if he jumped when she said to jump?

  The truth hurt. Because not only had he jumped, but even with his tender ego bruised almost beyond recognition, he knew he’d do it again and again.

  Because he was in love with Molly.

  And if not now, then he didn’t know when. But they would have this talk.

  He now knew what he wanted, and it had taken being stood up for the clarity to come. At some point in the future, he would tell her how he felt about her. Then the decision about their future would be up to her.

  But somehow, someway, he would express the deepest desire of his heart.

  That he wanted to be with Molly for the rest of his life.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Logan wasn’t ever going to forgive her if he wouldn’t give her the opportunity even to explain what had happened.

  She’d reached out to him, just as Avery had suggested. She’d taken the coward’s way out and had texted him rather than calling or showing up at his door, but she had reached out.

  And then she hadn’t been able to meet him.

  With good reason, but Logan clearly didn’t even want to hear her excuse.

  She hadn’t been there to meet him at the bench because she hadn’t even been at the farm.

  She’d been amped up about meeting Logan and was in the bathroom putting on a dash of makeup and straightening her hair, neither of which she usually bothered doing except on Sundays to go to church.

  Suddenly, she’d heard a crash that sounded as if someone had dropped a dozen pots and pans, followed by a thud and a groan.

  She’d rushed out to find Granddad on his back on the floor of the kitchen, a variety of pots and pans surrounding him. Apparently, he had been reaching for a ten-inch frying pan from a bottom cabinet and had been attempting to pull it out from underneath several other pans. He had overcompensated and had gone down backward.

  Granddad definitely looked dazed and had a nasty bruise building on his shoulder where it had hit the sharp edge of one of the pans. Thankfully, he hadn’t lost consciousness, but Molly and all her siblings weren’t about to take any chances. It wouldn’t take much for him to get a concussion, and his bones were brittle and prone to break.

  The stubborn old man wouldn’t let them call an ambulance no matter how practically they’d presented the idea to him, but he couldn’t stop them from rushing him to the emergency room. The urgent care in town was closed for the evening, and the nearest hospital with an emergency room was an hour’s drive away. Molly had loaded up Granddad and Felicity and Ruby in her sedan. Once they’d reached the hospital and gotten Granddad checked in through triage and into a room, Molly had finally looked at her phone.

  Logan would have visited the bench and be long gone, and he was no doubt furious with her for not showing up. Avery, who was the only sibling who knew of her secret meeting, had offered to take Granddad in her place, but he’d specifically asked for Molly to come, and she couldn’t let him down. She’d always been the one to bandage wounds and take care of family illnesses. It was part of her giving nature.

 

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