One hot summer, p.8
One Hot Summer, page 8
I peeked at Cora’s chunky little cheeks as she was presented to me. “Aw, yeah, you did make another cute one, bro. Kudos.”
“She is beautiful,” Zack agreed.
“What are you doing?” I asked my mum, who was trying to pass the baby to me.
“Unfold your arms then. Come on, she won’t bite.”
“Yeah, Jen,” my brother piped up. “Come on, you know you want to.”
I shot him a glance as my cheeks burned.
“Here.” Before I could protest, my mum placed the baby in my arms, which I reluctantly unfolded to cradle little Cora. She was sound asleep, luckily, and little squeaky sounds escaped from her tiny nostrils.
“See,” my mother said. “Nothing wrong with that.”
I smiled in agreement as I looked at the baby’s face. Tiny specks of dark hair were visible on her head. I released one of my hands to stroke her, amazed at how soft her skin was.
“Looks good on you, Jen,” Andrew teased.
“Yes, perfect practice for when you and Zack have…” I shot my mother a glance this time, hoping to silence her. “I mean, if you and Zack, not that you need to, you might not, or you might, but…”
“Come on, Mum.” Andrew took baby Cora from me. “Help me see if Cora needs a nappy change. It must be time now.”
“I didn’t mean…” Mum tried to argue her case as my brother put her arm around her, pulling her away.
“Let’s just head this way.” Their voices faded as they made their way back into the house.
I looked to Zack who was trying, and failing, to hold in a laugh. “Are you okay?”
“Shall we investigate this food situation?” I said through gritted teeth.
“Ha, come on.” He put his arm around me. “It’ll take a lot more than your mother’s comments to have me running for the hills.”
“That wasn’t too bad, was it?” Zack asked on the drive home. He insisted on driving.
“It wasn’t too bad, my mother walking on eggshells the rest of the afternoon was quite funny. You handled that well.”
“Your mum’s harmless.” He chuckled. “Anyway, you survived your first experience of vegan cuisine. What did you think?”
“It was all right,” I said. “Off the record, though, I am bloody starving.” I smiled at him, and he took his eyes off the road for a second to glance back at me. I loved his smile. “Anyway, how did you get on? I saw you chatting to my brother for ages. I wanted to be nosy and see what was so interesting between the two of you, but I was otherwise engaged.”
“Yeah, I noticed you’d been roped into a game of hide-and-seek with Sam. He’s adorable.”
Sam had been hiding behind a tree for ages, his arms wrapped around it, which meant it was glaringly obvious where he was, but he really believed I couldn’t see him. If his arms weren’t giving his position away, his infectious giggle was.
“It was fun, but I admit, I was trying to stay away from my mother. She kept trying to make me hold the baby again. I mean, yes, Cora is incredibly cute, but I prefer them when they can talk.” Zack laughed. “Do you know what I mean though? Babies are silent, you never know what they’re thinking or when they’re going to spit up on you.”
“You might feel different when it’s your own in the future.”
“Mum? Is that you? Your Zack mask is very convincing.” I prodded his face.
“Ha! You know what I mean.”
“Yeah… I guess.”
His words knocked me back a bit. He didn’t say ‘our baby’. Did he mean that I would have babies in a future without him? Or was he planning that kind of future with me? We’ve never talked about having kids. We’ve never even talked about getting married. He has practically moved in with me since I got back from Rome. We haven’t spent a night apart. I know the tenancy is up on his flatshare soon. Did he want to renew it, or make it official and move in with me? Apparently, grown men are as silent as babies when it comes to what they’re thinking. I might have to tickle it out of him, like I had to tickle Sam to tell me where he had hidden my phone after I’d let him play Candy Crush on it earlier.
“Perhaps.” I didn’t know how else to respond.
“I was chatting to your brother about holidays. He said they’d not been abroad since having Sam.”
“No, I think the thought of controlling that many children on a flight gave Elizabeth an anxiety attack. Shame really. They had some fantastic holidays before they got married. They actually took three months off work and travelled around Asia for their honeymoon.” I remember my mother being in a panic as they went during monsoon season and we lost contact with them for a few days. It turned out they’d made friends with a local taxi driver who took them in. Only my brother could have ended up in that situation.
“Maybe we should go away together. What do you think?”
“Really?” I had visions of us buying a tent, camping in a boggy field and trying to heat up tomato soup over a poorly lit campfire. “Yeah, that could be nice.”
“There’ll be some late summer deals. Portugal is nice, have you ever been?”
“No.” I suddenly perked up and momentarily forgot all about my hunger pangs. “Have you?”
“A few times. Or we could look at the Canary Islands. Where would you like to go?”
“Anywhere I can relax by a pool or dip my toes in the warm sea and feel my skin sizzling under the sun.” I smiled. Rome was amazing, but I felt like I needed another holiday to get a rest as soon as we got home. A relaxing, romantic summer getaway, just me and Zack, would be perfect.
It may not be one of the more serious relationship questions like babies or marriage, but going on holiday together is a big commitment. We could wake early and, in true Brit style, nab our sun loungers before everyone else and then head for breakfast. Sunbathe, swim in the sea, more sunbathing, eat as much food as possible. Then, before it was time for our evening meal, we would head back to the hotel to shower and have sex.
“Great. We can get looking soon, get some ideas.” He took his left hand off the steering wheel and put it on my leg, leaving it there whilst we cruised down the motorway.
I heard my phone ping through the Bluetooth connection to the car. I’d not checked it since Sam brought it back from wherever it had been hidden. There were two missed calls from Sarah and three WhatsApp messages.
Tea.
TEA.
FFS WILL YOU CALL ME, TEA TEA!!!!!!!
Oops. I had already failed in my duty.
“I forgot that Sarah was meeting someone today. She mustn’t be enjoying herself much.” I couldn’t contain my giggles.
“Aren’t you going to call her then?”
“Okay, okay, I suppose I ought to rescue her.”
It was probably time to put her out of her misery.
“What took you so long?” Sarah asked me breathily when I finally called her.
“It wasn’t that long,” I laughed, “only an hour. Little Sam had my phone, sorry.”
“I could have been kidnapped and murdered in that time. Although that might have been preferable. Oh Jenny, it was bloody awful. Just awful. I forgot how terrible the dating scene could be.”
“Given how much I complained about it, that does surprise me.”
“I couldn’t get away quick enough. I am mortified.”
“So, go on then, tell me what happened?”
Sarah had opted to wear her floral maxi dress, with her hair down, bouncing off of her sun-kissed shoulders as she strutted in her stilettos. There was a group of men in their early twenties by the bar, making the most of the two-for-one drinks offer. They all looked up as she walked in, smiling at her as she removed her sunglasses. She wondered if one of them might be Nigel, her first dating app suitor, but none of them advanced towards her. She decided to wait at the bar and order herself a small glass of wine, when a tap on her shoulder stopped her.
“Oh, I don’t need a table just yet,” she told the very young waiter. “I’m waiting for someone, so I’ll hang by the bar until he gets here.”
“Sarah?” the young man said to her. “It’s me, Nigel.” His braces sparkled under the chandelier light and his black bow tie sat slightly wonkily against his white, creased shirt.
Sarah thought this must be a wind-up. That Jenny had arranged this as a joke. It had to be. Nigel’s profile photo had depicted a normal enough guy in a suit, seated at a computer desk, holding a tumbler with what looked like a shot of whisky in it. Very suave and mature. The man standing in front of her did not look like he was old enough to legally drink alcohol.
“Our table is over there, by the window,” he panted excitedly. Sarah looked to the group of guys by the bar, hoping they would notice a damsel in distress and save her, but they had now been joined by a group of twenty-something girls and were no longer interested in her. They were sipping their cocktails and laughing together without a care in the world, and with no concern for Sarah at all.
Sarah followed her date, feeling like a childminder. He ran ahead and gallantly pulled out her chair for her, which she quietly thanked him for, secretly wishing it wasn’t a table by the big window, but rather one at the back where no one could see her.
“So,” Sarah began. “Nigel, I have to be honest, you’re not what I was expecting.”
He blushed and smiled broadly, clearly taking it as a compliment.
“How old are you?” she asked. She knew she sounded blunt, but she wasn’t happy.
“I’m twenty-two. I know my profile says thirty-two. I need to change it.”
“Yes, you do. And, just guessing now, but I suppose you’re not a creative director at a web design company?”
“Well…” A waitress appeared before he could answer, with a plate of sandwiches, nibbles and cakes. Sarah was confused because they hadn’t ordered anything to eat yet. “I hope you don’t mind,” Nigel said, seeing her obvious confusion. “I thought it would be nice to share an afternoon tea. I know women like that. I saw it on TikTok.”
“Ah, I’m not familiar with TikTok.”
“Oh you should get it,” he insisted. “It’s ace.”
Sarah moved her attention to the food, which she thought looked very nice. She wondered if concentrating on the food would make this date more bearable.
“There are two glasses of prosecco included per person,” the waitress said. “But as it is a special occasion,” she winked at Sarah, “I’ll just bring you a bottle.”
The waitress sauntered away.
“Special occasion?” Sarah asked. “Why did she say it was a special occasion?”
“Well, when I booked here, I said it was our first romantic meeting,” he made a sound which could only be described as a nervous giggle or a snort, “and I wanted it to be extra special.”
She felt so embarrassed. It was time to bring out the big guns. She had rescued Jenny many times, having to take the fake emergency phone call, even if it was not convenient at the time. It was a duty. Now, it was time for Jenny to return the favour.
Sarah’s phone was in her bag. She reached in and discreetly typed out the infamous text message and sent it. It would not be long until she was saved and could make a swift exit to the train station just down the road. She didn’t want to just run out. Nigel was very young, and she didn’t want to upset him.
The waitress had managed to compose herself long enough to bring over the bottle of prosecco and two glasses, however the tears of laughter were still in her eyes.
“Here you are,” she said, gleefully. “Is there anything else we can get you to make your time with us more memorable?”
“No,” Sarah said quickly. “This is memorable enough, thank you.”
Sarah poured herself a glass of prosecco and wondered what was taking Jenny so long to call her back. She quickly typed out another message.
“So, I don’t know if you recognised my name, or saw this on my profile, but I’m a bit of a celebrity around here,” Nigel said, waiting for Sarah to ask him to elaborate. She stayed quiet, but he continued anyway. “I run my own blog. It’s very popular. My last one got two hundred hits!”
“Oh yeah?” She picked up her glass, her eyes glancing to her bag, impatiently waiting for the sound of her phone ringing. “What do you write about?” She glanced down at her Apple watch too, willing it to light up with a message, but nothing happened. She sipped her prosecco. It tasted like fizzy, sour water.
“It’s a sex blog.”
“Sorry, a what?” She wiped some prosecco from her chin as she stifled a laugh.
“A sex blog. I write about my personal experiences. It has a huge following.” His hand gesture as he uttered the word ‘huge’ made Sarah want to laugh even more. “So, just a heads-up, I am up for anything.” He smiled, licking his lips. “I mean anything.”
Sarah cringed. She wanted to be sick. She wanted to leave. She wanted her best friend to hurry the hell up and call her back! She sent another message, not caring if Nigel saw.
I was laughing so much I could hardly breathe.
“And then! He proceeded to tell me about the best position for reaching an orgasm if in a confined space such as a toilet cubicle. After that I was too scared to use the loo in case he followed me! He also mansplained oral sex, and I think I can confidently say from his explanation that he’s never experienced it, giving or receiving.”
“Stop!” I was finally able to speak. “Please stop, I can’t take any more. This is too funny.”
“I’m deleting that app.”
“No, you’re not,” I insisted. “It was the first date. You’ve popped your blind-date cherry. It is time to find your second date.”
“Do I have to?”
“Absolutely. This is fun, I can see why you sent me on so many. We just need a better vetting system. I’ll help you find your next one. But most importantly, what is Nigel’s blog link? I have to see it.”
“I have no idea, I was too scared to ask. Anyway, if you read it, it might put you off sex forever. I stopped listening when he tried telling me how to find the male G-spot. That is the time your emergency call finally came through, so I still don’t know the answer, thank God. Tell me something to get my mind off the thought. What did you do today?”
“I ate vegan food at a vegan barbeque.”
“Shut up. You? I don’t believe you.”
“Well, believe it. I’m even thinking of converting. I have seen the light, and the light is leaves mushed up and shaped into sausages.”
“Now I know you’re lying. You’d never give up bacon sandwiches.”
She knows me far too well. I told her about my brother’s secret stash of meaty treats in his garage. He managed to briefly take me in there, telling his wife he was showing me his new Tesla, when he really wanted to show me the storage cupboard, which was actually an integrated fridge.
“That’s hilarious.”
“Why doesn’t he just do what he likes? That’s what I don’t get. He always seems to go along with what she wants. It’s like he doesn’t have a voice in his own family environment.” It was the same with my own parents. There never was any middle ground.
“That could be marriage,” Sarah said with a sigh. “Not like you or I know anything about that. There’ll be sacrifices and compromises. As long as everyone’s broadly happy. Maybe having a happy wife is what makes Andrew happy.”
“She has a new trend to try every year. You watch, she will want them all to live in a mud hut in the middle of the woods, without electricity or running water next.”
Sarah laughed. “I think that’s a bit extreme. Although I still remember their wedding breakfast, with the food served on banana leaves.”
“Ha! My mum still hasn’t gotten over that. It didn’t help that I told her to watch out for exotic African spiders hiding in amongst them. Anyway, I need to share my most exciting piece of news…” I hesitated, leaving Sarah in suspense while Zack parked up. I motioned to him that I’d be in shortly. “…Zack has asked me to go on holiday with him.”
“Ooh! How exciting! When are you going? Where will you go?”
“I’m not sure. Somewhere hot and sunny, walking distance to the beach, food on demand, private pool, balcony optional.”
“You’re not asking for much then.” She laughed. “You’ll get some good deals this time of year too, I bet.”
“Hopefully. I think we’ll get looking properly over the next few weeks. We just need to get this meal out of the way with his parents, first.”
“You’re meeting the parents too? This is a night of big news. When’s this happening?”
“I don’t know, he’s just got inside so might be giving them a call now. I’m so nervous. I get the impression they’re really well off. I hope they don’t suggest somewhere posh to eat. Those places always serve tiny portions of pretentious food. Do you remember your Aunty Susan’s wedding in York?”
“Oh yes,” she said, laughing. “When you made me sneak out with you to the KFC down the road before the evening guests arrived?”
“I was starving! That piece of pork was so small it may as well have been served on a cocktail stick.”
“Well, find out where his parents want to take you first, and check out the menu. Then eat before you go if you have to.”
“That’s a good idea. Anyway, we need to meet up soon and find your next date.”
“Believe it or not, I’m not in any rush for that, but we do need to meet up. How about after you’ve met his parents? We could do lunch and you can tell me all about them.”
“That sounds like a plan,” I said with a smile.
I put down the phone, allowed myself a couple of moments to dream about a hot holiday with Zack in the not-too-distant future, and then headed inside to put the kettle on.
CHAPTER EIGHT
I am a reasonably sensible, somewhat mature, thirty-one-year-old woman. I work in customer services, actually dealing with members of the public on a face-to-face basis, giving them joyous news that they can’t have what they want, and why they can’t have it. Needless to say, there is an element of crowd control and diffusing difficult situations involved. I have faced many obstacles in my life, not to mention living on my own all these years with a cat I was sure wanted to kill me during the first few years of being roomies. So, after all that, why was I suddenly terrified of meeting my boyfriend’s parents? They’re humans. Two humans who produced the love of my life. Two humans who supposedly already liked me before they’d even met me. Why was I so nervous? Because I knew how much it mattered to Zack that it went well tonight.
