Dr. Byers landed a boot to my ribs, and I curled up reflexively against the attack. In the process, I revealed part of the weapon. Swallowing back the vomit that threatened after the kick, I stretched out my arm, pulling the cylinder back to me.

  I closed my hand around the object and rolled away just in time to miss another kick to the ribs. Getting to my feet, I winced as I straightened to standing, then faced the doctor. "It's over, you lost."

  "You forget, that weapon isn't any good on me," he said. "I might not be able to get inside your head, but I still know what makes you tick. How's Tommy? Seen him recently? Or did you never bother to check in with him?"

  My breath caught in my lungs. Tommy was a mistake from when I lived in the human world. I'd thought I'd met a decent guy, but the longer we were together, the worse things got. Until the night the violence got so bad he almost killed me. I reacted on instinct to protect myself, breaking my promise to myself to refrain from using magic.

  After the damage I did to him, I had to leave the human world. I wasn't even sure if he was alive. "How do you know about that?"

  "Who do you think changed that sweet boy who adored you into the monster you feared?" Dr. Byers's eyes shone with glee.

  My nostrils flared, and I squeezed the weapon in my hand. My whole body felt hot. "You're lying. You read my mind in the cave. You found out about Tommy."

  Dr. Byers laughed. "I told you back in my lab, if you ever ran from me, I'd find you, and I'd ruin your life."

  "No, no that wasn't you. Tommy snapped," I said.

  "That's what you had to tell yourself after you left him for dead," he said. "That poor boy never understood why the love of his life beat him nearly to death and then ran."

  My lower lip trembled, and my hands were shaking. Was it possible he was telling the truth? Had he used Tommy? Had I hurt an innocent man? Worse, someone I might have been in love with? "You're a monster."

  "Just like you, we're no different, Morgan. Admit it. You like the rush when you use your magic. You get off on the power in your veins. Can you imagine how intense it will feel to transform into a dragon?" Dr. Byers held out his hand. "Give me the weapon. We can take it to the queen together. We'll be her right hand. The whole world will bow to us."

  I blinked away a tear that was blurring my vision and stared at the doctor. My whole body felt like it was vibrating now and my breathing was rapid. I could feel my heart racing. It was as if I was hyperaware of everything.

  I could hear Dr. Byers's heart. It beat calm and steady. As if he wasn't even worried about me harming him. How was he so calm right now?

  I held up the weapon. "What makes you think I won't just set this thing on fire right now? What makes you think I won't just set you on fire?"

  He smiled. "If you were going to kill me, you would have done it already. Besides, if what you said was true, you need that weapon. When I caught your friends, I thought you wanted to force the queen to shift, to take her out. But once you let me know your predicament, I realized it was more personal than that."

  "Maybe it doesn't matter, either way," I said.

  Dr. Byers narrowed his eyes. "You're stalling."

  I smiled. "And time's about to be up for all of us."

  "You wouldn't," he said. "You came here to save your friends. Whatever you have up your sleeve will kill them, too."

  "If that's the price I have to pay to stop you," I said.

  "I knew you were just like me," he said.

  I couldn't keep the heat in anymore. My hands exploded in flames, and I dropped the weapon and released fire at Dr. Byers.

  He shimmered for a second, then slid to the side, as if teleporting a short distance. Before I could reposition, he appeared at my feet, crouching. He grabbed the weapon.

  When I reached for him, all I caught was a ghost trail of where he had just been. I didn't know what kind of magic he was doing, but it made him faster than me. "Give that back."

  Both of my arms were on fire now, and I felt more out of control than ever. Somewhere deep in my mind, I thought I heard something telling me to calm down, to let the fire go, but I pushed it away and embraced the growing flames that were threatening to consume me.

  With a war cry, I ran for the doctor with my arms outstretched. At the last second, I veered to the right, following my instincts.

  As I hoped, the doctor had used the magic again and slid away from his original position, right into me.

  I grabbed him, and he let out a scream as fire climbed up and down his torso. He dropped to the ground and rolled around, extinguishing the fire.

  The flames were replaced by smoke rising from his blackened skin. "You bitch."

  The weapon was still in his charred grasp.

  I dove for it just as his thumb pressed down on the button. Then he snapped the cylinder in half, tossing the pieces to the side.

  Sharp pains shot through my stomach, and I doubled over, arms around my waist, in agony. I cried out as the pain shot through the rest of my body, taking away my breath. Tears streaked down my cheeks as my eyes watered from the pain.

  I forced myself to take short, sharp breaths as I collapsed to the ground. This was it, I was dying. I'd failed everyone. My friends were going to burn alive when James finally arrived to finish off the mess I'd left behind.

  I glared over at Dr. Byers. The only joy I could find was that he'd be gone soon and nobody else would have to experience the pain he could cause.

  My vision blurred and then Dr. Byers’s face sharpened. I could see the sweat droplets forming around his hairline. I could see the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. The sound of his heartbeat returned as did his breathing. There was a rattling sound at the end of each of his breaths. Turning from his face, I noticed that a piece of glass from the truck's windshield was sticking out of his side.

  He was weak, possibly dying.

  The pain that had knocked me to the ground subsided, and I felt strong. My head was clear, my vision sharp, my senses alert. Just as I had been before he pushed the button. I wanted to laugh, to tell him he'd failed.

  I stood, and my head hit the ceiling. Wings expanded, knocking down the cabinets along the wall. I looked down at my hands and legs and realized they were no longer my own. I looked down to see scales and claws.

  So it had worked. I was a dragon.

  Anger surged through me on a level I had never felt before, and before I could stop myself, I opened my mouth, and a rush of flame came pouring out. Dr. Byers didn't even have time to make a sound. Flames swallowed his body, and when I closed my mouth to stop the fire, all that remained was a burning pile of ash.

  Dr. Byers was gone, but so was the only chance I had at being able to shift back into mage form. Tears stung the back of my eyes, and I wondered if they'd come out the same way tears did for me as a mage.

  Stretching out the wings, I glanced from side to side. There was no way I was going to be able to get through the doors in here to get to my friends in the basement.

  A rush of heat flared above me, and I looked over to see fire eating away at the ceiling. James must be attacking as I'd asked.

  Without thinking first, I jumped toward the fire above me, hoping learning to fly was instinctual. I had to stop James and get him to help our friends.

  Bursting through the weakened structure above, I spread my wings and flapped them in unison. To my surprise, I stayed airborne. A thrill shot through me. I was soaring above Dr. Byers's burning home. If it weren't for the long list of things we had to accomplish, and the fact that I wasn't happy about being a dragon, I might have been able to enjoy flying through the air.

  Narrowing my eyes, I searched the sky for James. I thought I'd have to struggle to find him in the dark sky, but my vision shifted again, and I began to see the world differently. The burning fire below me was bright red, an intense heat that faded into softer shades of orange and yellow as it radiated away from the source of the heat. Within the house, I could make out glowing yellow human shapes. I saw heat. Using that, I scanned the sky for any other warm tones.

  Finally, I caught sight of an orange glow as another dragon flew toward me.

  James landed on the ground in front of the house, and I followed him, landing next to him.

  Opening my mouth, I tried to speak, but the only thing that came out was a roar. If dragons could blush, my face would be scarlet. I couldn't communicate with him. I felt exposed and frustrated. His dragon form was magnificent and powerful. I was sure I looked like an imposter. I wasn't supposed to be a dragon. I was a mage.

  I tried to speak again, to tell him where our friends were, but again, my voice was limited to a dragon roar.

  James shifted in front of my eyes. Returning to his beautiful human self. My heart ached with longing. I wanted to return to mage form. I wanted James to wrap his arms around me. Neither of those things was ever going to happen again.

  30

  "Morgan?" James asked, but the hurt in his expression told me he already knew the answer.

  I looked down, unable to meet his gaze. What was it going to be like being a dragon? Never able to communicate with my friends, unable to live in Realm's Gate, stuck in this form.

  "Don't worry, Morgan," James said. "I'm going to get the others out, then we'll find a way to fix this. The dragon queen can’t be the only one who can help.”

  I looked up at him and realized that the most important part of what he just said was that the dragon queen was still out there. The whole point of getting the weapon was to have a chance at taking her down, but I'd gotten distracted by my dragon problem. We still had to eliminate her, even if I was in dragon form.

  "Don't move," James said, then he took off toward the house.

  I sat back, trying to figure out my next move. Should I hunt the dragon queen myself? If I left right now, I could find her and try to take her out on my own. Then, nobody else would have to get hurt. I could at least do this for my friends.

  Don't even think about it. Tavas's voice echoed through my head.

  Elated that someone might be able to communicate with me, I sat up straighter. You can still talk to me?

  Of course, I can. Besides, there's nothing else to do. They used something laced with iron to hold me down. I'm not going anywhere.

  Leave it to Tavas to remind me that he valued himself above all else. James is on his way, he'll get you out.

  I'm not worried about me right now.

  Didn't you just say you're tied up? I asked, then I waited. And waited. Tavas?

  Alone in the dark, I listened to the sounds of the night. The crickets had returned, and without Dr. Byers, there'd be no more spiders. Tavas, you there?

  "I'm here," he said as he walked toward me.

  Alec, Quinn, and Dima followed James. Behind them, McKenzie was helping Lucy walk. The girl looked exhausted, but she was walking on her own with help. I let out a sigh of relief and it came out like a growl.

  Startled by the sound coming from me, I wondered if I should fly away. Seeing me like this would be difficult on my friends. They'd been through so much, it might be better if I just took off.

  "James, take the others to the car," Tavas said.

  James paused.

  "Morgan?" Alec asked.

  I turned away, not wanting to roar at any of them in my clumsy dragon language.

  "Please, James," Tavas said.

  "Let's go," James said.

  "Is that Morgan?" Alec asked.

  "Not now, Alec," Dima said.

  I was grateful for her ability to sense how people were feeling. I knew my friends would support me and do their best to help me, but right now, I couldn't handle seeing the sadness on their faces.

  Thank you, Tavas.

  "You're welcome," he said.

  I can't stay here, you know that, right?

  "Don't be ridiculous," he said. "Your friends don't want you to go anywhere. Besides, I might be able to help you."

  How?

  "The dragon queen said you could learn to shift back, right?" he asked.

  I nodded.

  "I've spent most of my life around dragons. Elites and wild dragons. I learned some things along the way," he said.

  When you weren't running from the Fae? I asked.

  He laughed. "I was a general in the Fae Wars. There's a lot you don't know about me."

  That was true. I hardly knew Tavas and I knew the Fae were immortal. It was possible he had been in the Fae Wars. Besides, what did I have to lose? Okay. Help me.

  "This might hurt," Tavas said.

  Do whatever you have to do.

  A searing pain shot across my forehead, then wrapped around my skull like a wire cutting into my head. I wanted to scream, but the pain was so intense I couldn't.

  Suddenly, my whole body went limp and I fell to the ground. The pain on my head had subsided, but I was locked in place. Panic washed through me in waves and for a moment, I wondered if I'd made a terrible mistake in trusting Tavas. Then, everything went black.

  There was something comforting in the darkness now. I'd grown used to what it was like to meet in this in-between. Were we in my head or Tavas's?

  I looked down at my hands and let out a grateful sob to see that I had fingers again instead of claws. I knew it wasn't real, but there was a tiny sliver of hope I could cling to knowing that my internal self was still a mage.

  "Morgan," Tavas appeared in front of me. He looked as he always did: handsome, confident, graceful. He smiled as he approached. "It's nice to see you as you. Not that you don't make a lovely dragon."

  "I don't want to be a dragon," I said.

  "I know," he said. "But the first thing you're going to have to accept is that the dragon is part of you now. That's not going away. We want to allow you to control the shifting yourself, but you'll never be just a mage anymore."

  "I just can't be a dragon full time," I said. "I never wanted this."

  Tavas grabbed my hands and held them gently in his. "I need you to stay calm and work with me here. We're going to fix this."

  He tugged my hands down, guiding me to the ground. We both sat, cross-legged, hands still clasped. "There's something you have to know before we try this."

  "What?"

  "The only way I know how to do this is through the connection we have. We'll figure out a more permanent fix later, but for now, if I get this to work, we'll have to maintain the connection," he said.

  "You mean I won't be able to choose when I shift on my own? I'll need you to help me transform?" I asked.

  He nodded. "Only until we find a better way. And I can't do it on my own. So I can't force you. We have to do it together."

  "How do you know it will even work?" I asked.

  "I've done it before. Long story," he said, pain obvious in his expression.

  "Who was she?" I asked.

  "It doesn't matter anymore," he said. "We need to get this done before the dragon queen arrives. Do you want to try it?"

  Jaw set, I straightened my posture. Tavas didn't have any reason to lie to me and while the whole thing wasn't exactly ideal, it was my only option right now. I wanted to see my friends and speak to them. I wanted to be back in my own skin again. And to be honest, I now wanted to feel my skin against James's more than ever. "Tell me what to do."

  "Close your eyes," Tavas said.

  I closed my eyes and waited.

  "Now, imagine the energy that surrounds you. It's gold, by the way, when you're a dragon. Normally, your energy is pink."

  Was he messing with me? I opened one eye and peeked at Tavas. His eyes were closed and he looked focused. He was serious. I'd heard of energy fields around people, but never from anyone in the magical community. That was the sort of talk I heard when I lived in the human world from psychics and witches. Maybe they were on to something after all.

  I imagined myself standing in a field, with a glowing gold aura rising from my body. After a few deep breaths, I was surprised how clear the vision in my mind was. It didn't seem foolish anymore. It seemed like it was a real entity that was part of me.

  "Good," Tavas said. "Now, together, we need to shift that energy from gold, back to pink."

  "How do we do that?" I asked.

  He squeezed my hands tighter. "We shift it together. Keep your sight on that energy field, picture it changing to the color of the wild roses that grow in the woods outside of town."

  I smiled as I pictured the little pink flowers I used to pick as a child. How did Tavas know about those? The energy around the mental vision of me shook, and faded in and out.

  "Don't lose focus," Tavas said. "You have to keep it in sight. Don't let it go."

  I held on to the image in my head and the energy field flared back to life. "Okay, I got it."

  "Work with me," Tavas said. "Gold to pink."

  "Okay." I squeezed my eyes shut tighter and imagined the bright pink of the roses seeping into the energy field, staining it like herbs dropped into a cup of hot water.

  Traces of pink began to appear on the edges of the energy field and spread in lines and veins through the gold, breaking into them like cracks in a frozen lake.

  "Good, keep going," Tavas said.

  The more I pushed through, the more resistance I felt. It was like I was running uphill through something sticky. My head throbbed and my breath came out in short bursts.

  "Stay with me," Tavas said.

  I felt lightheaded and wasn't sure if the rocking I was feeling was in my mind or if I was actually wavering back and forth, struggling to stay upright.

  The pink continued to bleed through and my heart thundered against my ribs. I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep pushing this. We weren't there yet. There was still more gold than pink. Was I going to be able to do this?

  Tavas yanked my hands, pulling my physical body closer to him so our knees were touching. A jolt of something that felt like fresh air rushed into me from the point of contact. It felt like a second wind and my heart slowed enough that I could rally for another push.

  Using everything I had, I imagined the gold energy exploding away, the pink taking over like a firework. To my amazement, that's just what happened. Glowing pink light shot from around the vision of me, sparks cutting through the last pieces of gold light.

 

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