Nothing is left, p.8
Nothing Is Left, page 8
part #11 of Forever and Ever Series
“Let’s just go home,” she said with pouted lips.
He stared at her like he was tempted. “It’ll have to wait.”
She growled.
“I’ll make it worth your while.”
“You better.” She finally got off his lap.
“You’d think they’d be sick of each other by now,” I said.
“I got Slade,” Conrad said.
“Skye,” Theo said immediately.
“The teams are off,” Conrad said as he pointed at Trinity.
“She sucks,” Slade said. “She doesn’t count anyway.”
Trinity shot him a frightful glare.
“I mean,” Slade said. “That bombshell makes it look easy.”
Satisfied, she walked to him.
“Let’s get this game started,” Conrad said.
The ball was thrown in the air and we ran back and forth across the court. Whenever I had the ball, Heath was on me. He was my height so it was difficult to get past him. Only when Conrad ran behind me could I pass the ball.
Slade was a horrible player because he kept paying attention to Trinity. She would run by and grab his ass then strut away. When someone passed him the ball, it hit him in the head then bounced off.
“Get your head in the game!” Conrad yelled.
“Now look who sucks.” Trinity put her hands on her hips then stuck her tongue out at him.
Cayson had the ball and was dribbling up the court but Skye jumped in his way. He tried to get around her but she stayed on him.
“How do you want to do it when we get home?”
Cayson fumbled with the ball and Skye stole it.
“Sucker,” she said and passed it to Theo.
Theo passed it to Alex and she made the shot.
“That’s my girl!” Theo yelled.
“Why can’t you be good like that?” Slade asked Trinity.
“Why can’t you be sweet like Cayson?” she snapped.
“I’m always sweet to you,” he argued.
“It comes and goes…” She walked off and twirled her fingers in her hair.
Silke was fairly good, and took the game more seriously since she didn’t have a date. She was good at stealing the ball, and she could run fast. She made as many shots as Theo did.
By the end of the game, we were all sweaty and exhausted.
“Best…party…ever.” Conrad sat down and leaned against the garage.
Beatrice sat beside him, not looking tired at all. She didn’t do much during the game.
“Let’s go in the bushes,” Slade said.
“Eww,” Trinity said. “This is Sean’s house—so awkward.”
“No one is going to see us,” Slade hissed.
“It can wait until we go home,” Trinity said firmly.
“Such a stuck up—”
“Yes?” she demanded.
“Princess,” he finished.
“That’s what I thought.”
When her back was turned, Slade rolled his eyes.
Heath was sitting on the ground drinking a beer.
I sat beside him. “You’re pretty good.”
“I grew up with five brothers. Sports were everything.” He tapped his bottle against mine. “Good game.”
“Yeah.” I took a drink and let the cool air dry the sweat from my body.
“You’re pretty good too.”
“My dad and uncles play a lot of basketball,” I answered.
“And Alex is really good,” he noted.
I shrugged. “Theo says she used to be a tomboy.”
“That’s cool,” he said. “So, are you excited for your new office?”
“I am. Now I can smoke weed and watch porn.”
He chuckled. “Both admirable.”
“I am excited, but also not.”
He watched me. “Why not?”
“I like sharing a desk with you.”
He continued to stare at me, his eyes guarded.
“Now it’ll be quiet and I’ll be all by myself…”
“Yeah…but you’ll probably like the quiet after a while. You’ll have a lot of work to do and won’t want distractions. And if it’s too quiet, you can play music.”
“I guess…”
“You’ll be fine, Ro.”
“I’m excited to get an apartment more than anything else.”
“Where at?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I want to be close to work, but I also want to be close to Conrad.”
“Why Conrad?” he asked.
“He’s my best friend.”
“Oh.” He nodded.
“But, I don’t want to walk more than a mile in my work clothes. I’ll get them all sweaty and gross.”
“Good point,” he said. “My building is nearby. And it’s pretty nice.”
“It is nice,” I argued. “I like the view too.”
“It’s a cool place,” he said. “I’m no Conrad, but I’d still be a good person to be close to.”
I noted the slight hurt in his voice. “You’re cool too.”
He drank his beer and didn’t say anything.
“So, am I your boss now?”
He chuckled. “I guess you are.”
“Ooh…the power.” I rubbed my hands together greedily.
“You want me to bring you coffee in the morning and fetch your lunch?” he asked incredulously.
“Maybe…if you piss me off.”
“I have a feeling this is a bad idea…”
We finished our beers then moved onto the next ones.
“Okay, where are the pizza bagels?” Slade asked. “They should be done by now, right?”
Cayson rolled his eyes and didn’t respond.
Heath chuckled then turned to me. “I like your friends. They’re all really cool.”
“You obviously don’t know them very well.”
“I think I know the basics,” he said. “It’s clear everyone here would do anything for you—in a heartbeat.”
I shrugged. “I guess.”
“And you would do anything for them.”
I thought about that Christmas painting he showed me. It conveyed such loneliness. I knew Heath didn’t have a community like I did. “You’re part of the group too now.”
“I am?” he asked.
“Yeah. Everyone likes you—more than me, actually.”
He chuckled. “Well, they are easy people to get along with.”
I drank my beer while I studied his face, noting his fair skin and blue eyes.
“We’re heading out,” Slade said. “We need to have sex then go to bed.”
“Good to know,” Conrad said sarcastically.
“Whatever, dude,” Slade said. “You’re just jealous your girl doesn’t put out.”
Conrad clenched his jaw but didn’t say anything.
Beatrice’s cheeks tinted.
Trinity smacked his arm. “You can’t talk to people like that.”
“It’s Conrad,” Slade argued. “I can talk to him however I want.”
“And my brother,” she hissed.
“Shut up and stop talking,” Slade said.
“Those are the same thing,” Trinity said.
They bickered until they got into their car and drove off.
“We’re going to head out too.” Cayson came to me then fist-pounded me. “But congratulations, man.”
“Thanks,” I said.
Skye hugged me. “So proud of my little brother.”
“Oh, whatever,” I said as I pushed her off.
“I am,” she said firmly.
Heath stood up and started to stay goodbye to everyone. I did the same, feeling tired.
As we walked to our cars, my sister walked with me. “You’re going to get your own place?”
“Yep,” I said. “It won’t be a penthouse, but it’ll be something.”
She chuckled. “Maybe Dad will buy you one now that you’ve reached your goal.”
“I doubt it,” I said. “But that’s okay. I don’t need one.”
“Yeah…they’re overrated.”
“You’re such a liar,” I said with a laugh.
“You’re right,” she said. “I love it.”
Heath and Cayson were walking ahead of us, having a quiet conversation.
“I really like him,” Skye said.
“Heath?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“Yeah, he’s a cool guy. He taught me a lot of things and has always been a good friend.”
“I’m glad you’re nice to him and don’t treat him differently.”
Treat him differently? What did she mean by that? “Why would I?”
“Unfortunately, not everyone believes all people should have the same rights. Maybe one day the world will be different, but for now, people will still be prejudiced. It’s good you make him feel welcome.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Heath was a normal guy. There was nothing different about him.
She looked at me with wide eyes. “You don’t know?”
“Know what?”
“Heath is gay.”
I stopped in my tracks and looked at her. “What?”
“Come on, Roland. Open your eyes.”
“But…he’s never told me that.”
“He doesn’t need to say it.”
“How do you know?” I asked.
“It’s so obvious in everything he says and does,” she said. “Please don’t tell me you see him differently now.”
“I don’t,” I said immediately. “It’s just…he doesn’t act gay.”
“Well, not everyone is obvious about it,” she said. “You don’t know if someone is into swinging or BDSM just from knowing them at a friendly level. He keeps his personal life private just like other people.”
“I don’t know if you’re right…”
“Then ask him.”
“I’m not going to ask him that!”
“Why not?” she asked. “You guys are really good friends. He wouldn’t be offended.”
I put my hands in my pockets while my mind swarmed with thoughts.
“Roland,” she said firmly. “You better not act different around him.”
“I wont…you just dropped a bomb on me.”
“What’s the big deal?” she said. “Whether he likes men or women, he’s the exact same person.”
“It’s not a big deal.” For some reason, it just took me by surprise. The knowledge seemed ground-shaking. I couldn’t explain what I was thinking or feeling. But I guess, in the back of my mind, I always knew.
“Then don’t be weird about it.”
“I won’t,” I said. “He’s one of my closest friends. I’m just processing it.” When I reflected on our time together, I realized he never mentioned girls. When he talked about relationships or significant others, it was always in a vague way. He never actually identified their sex. And then I thought about that painting he made, of the man looking out the window. Was that an old lover? Everything came to me, and like broken pieces mending together, the picture became clear. “I guess it makes sense.”
“It does.”
“How did you know?” I asked. “You hardly know him.”
“When he said I wasn’t his type, I got the vibe from him. I thought you noticed.”
“Maybe he just thinks you’re ugly like everyone else.”
She rolled her eyes. “No, I knew what he was trying to say without plastering it on a billboard for everyone to see.”
“Well, I’m not gay,” I blurted.
She raised an eyebrow while she looked at me. “I know, Ro. I never thought that.”
“I just…want to make that clear.”
“You don’t have to be gay to be friends with a gay person.”
I had no idea why I blurted that out. It just happened. “Okay.”
She linked her arm through mine. “I hope this doesn’t change your friendship. I’d be really disappointed in you if it did.”
“It doesn’t,” I said firmly. “I don’t care what people do in the privacy of their own home.”
“Good.” She dropped her touch. “Otherwise, I’d have to kick your ass.”
***
My sister’s revelation stuck with me for days. How did I not notice Heath was gay? When I thought about it, I realized how obvious it was. He never checked out girls in front of me. In fact, he never mentioned them. He was quiet, thoughtful, and sensitive. And he more mature than other guys our age. He liked sports like I did, and he didn’t have a gay way of speaking, but I guess that didn’t matter.
Now that I had my new office, I didn’t spend as much time with him. We used to share snacks and play games when the day was slow. We’d play tic-tac-toe or surf the web. Sometimes we would send emails back and forth just to fool around.
But now I was alone in my office.
People came and went with their articles, and I was constantly reading and making changes. Now I didn’t have to mark their work with a red pen and tell them to make the changes. I did everything on the computer without their input. Nora told me it would save time.
Heath and I hadn’t hung out after work because I had too much work piled up. I cared more about getting through my first week with flying colors than anything else. I needed that paycheck so I could leave my folks. I knew my mom was sad about it, but she would get over it.
On Friday, Heath walked into my office. He was wearing black slacks and a yellow collared shirt. A black tie hung from his throat. His blond hair was highlighted by the color, and he looked like a Calvin Klein model with his broad shoulders and wide chest. I mean—he looked normal.
“Hey.” He sat in the armchair facing my desk and rested his ankle on the opposite knee. “How’d your first week go?”
“Eh.” I shrugged.
He laughed. “That bad?”
“It’s just a lot of work to do.”
“You’ll get quicker at it. Just give it time.”
“Do you have your article for me?”
“Yep.” He opened his bag and handed me the flash drive.
“Thanks.” I left it on the desk.
He leaned back in his chair and sighed. “I’m glad the weekend is here.”
“Me too. I’m going to sleep the entire time.”
He chuckled. “You want to go for a drink after work?”
When he asked me to spend time with him, all I could think about was his sexuality. I wasn’t sure why. We’d hung out numerous times before and I didn’t have a clue he preferred men. But my sister was right. I shouldn’t treat him differently. “Sure.”
“Cool,” he said. “Let’s go to Rogers.”
“Okay.”
He rested his head on the cushion then closed his eyes. “I’m just going to chill for a little bit. Wake me up when you’re done.”
I stared at his face for a moment, noting his fair complexion and prominent cheekbones. He had a strong jaw like Harrison Ford, and his body was large like a gladiator. I realized my eyes were lingering too long so I turned away and got back to work.
***
We ordered our beers then found a table that faced a TV. I purposely sat further away from him than I normally would.
He clanked his beer against mine. “Cheers, mate.”
“Cheers.” I took a deep drink then looked at the TV.
“So, since I’m your friend, do I get any special privileges? Longer deadlines? Better stories?”
I chuckled. “I’ll let you eat lunch in my office.”
“Well, it’s better than nothing.” He took another drink.
I spotted a blonde in the corner. “She’s hot.”
Like usual, Heath didn’t say anything.
I don’t know why I said that. I guess I wanted him to know I was straight. “I’d tap her.”
Heath looked over then returned his gaze to the TV.
I continued to drink my beer but couldn’t think of anything else to say.
Heath’s playful demeanor was gone, and now he was serious. His eyes shined with a different intensity. His hand gripped his beer but he didn’t take a drink. “Something on your mind?”
“No.”
“You seem quiet…and distant.”
“I’m just tired,” I said without looking at him.
“Are you sure?” Judging by the tone of his voice, he knew I was lying.
“Yeah.” I kept watching the TV.
Heath sighed and pulled out his wallet. He threw money on the table then walked off. “I guess I’ll see you around…”
I let him go and didn’t chase after him. I sat alone and replayed our conversation. It accelerated from friendly to serious instantly. The tension was palpable, and I could feel his hurt radiate to every corner of the bar. I wasn’t sure what I said or didn’t say to make him leave, but I knew he was upset. Did he know I knew? Did he think I thought less of him? Well, I couldn’t blame him. I was acting different. I finished my beer then headed to his apartment.
***
He opened the door with an unreadable expression on his face. Nothing was said. He just stared at me.
“Hey…”
“Are you ready to tell me what’s bothering you?”
My hands were in my pockets and I shrugged.
“You either are or you aren’t.” His aggression rang clear as a bell. He was normally so easy going and docile. Now he was directive and hostile. He’d never been like that before.
“I am,” I said firmly.
“Then come in.” He stepped aside and allowed me entry. Then he closed the door behind me. With his arms crossed over his chest, he headed to his couch then leaned against it.
The evening lights were visible through his window. His TV was off, and our silence echoed in the room.
“What’s on your mind?” he said quietly.
I stood in the center of the room, unsure if I should sit or pace.
“You’ve been acting odd around me all week. And it became crystal clear that something was different tonight. So, why the sudden change?”
I knew I should just come clean with my thoughts. Pretending like we both didn’t know what the other was thinking was pointless. “Are you…?”
“Am I what?” he asked simply.
“You know?”
He gave me a hard look. “You know what?”
I sighed. “Are you gay?”
His features didn’t change at all. There was no reaction. If he was offended, he didn’t show it. “Why? Will you have a problem if I am?”
“No,” I said immediately. “My sister told me and I just…I never noticed it before.”
