Discovered, p.29
Discovered, page 29
But before I took a backseat once again, there was one more thing I needed to do.
“Hey Cub.” Dad smiled as I stepped through the back door, closing it behind me against the winter chill. He reached out his arm, and I stepped into it so he could wrap it around my middle in a hug. “Did you enjoy your walk? Sick of being cooped up in here?” He asked.
I nodded, offering him a small smile. Even though I’d missed the guys being around, and I was hugely grateful they were back to deal with the enormous mess Henry and I had created, the Manor had felt too crowded to me over the last twenty-four hours, with Ben, Lincoln, and the unnamed guy here too. I hadn’t been able to get any time to speak to either Ben or Henry since we left the forest. But I hoped to change at least one of those things sooner rather than later.
“Yeah, thanks. Listen, Dad…” I trailed off, and he cocked his eyebrow at me, waiting for me to continue. “Can I speak to Ben… alone? Before you do?” He opened his mouth to argue, but I rushed on. “Just fifteen minutes? Please?”
He glanced at Dan, who shrugged and looked away. Finally, Dad sighed. “Ten minutes.”
I smiled and reached up on my tiptoes to plant a kiss on his cheek. Then I headed out of the kitchen and up the stairs before he could change his mind. Or maybe it was before I changed my mind, because my stomach churned with more and more vigour the closer I got to Ben’s room, until I was sure I would vomit. But I needed to have this conversation, even though I knew it wouldn’t be easy.
Ben was in a bedroom at the front of the building, with a view of the mountains. It was probably the nicest room, other than Ray’s, and it was a minor victory that I’d won over Henry. He’d wanted to lock Ben in the cellar. I mightn’t have been able to secure his release, but at least I could make his time in captivity more bearable.
I knocked on the door, waiting for him to call out that I could come in, before pushing it open and stepping inside.
The room was dim, with only a table lamp lighting it from a warm white bulb. The moon was hidden behind clouds, so it didn’t cast any additional light despite the curtains being wide open.
Ben sat in an armchair by the window, facing outwards, but he turned to face me when I came in, offering me a small, unsure smile.
“Hey.” He said.
“Hey.”
I pushed the door gently closed behind me, leaving it open just an inch before walking further into the room, shoving my hands into the front pouch of my hoodie as I did. I couldn’t stop myself from awkwardly fiddling with my fingers.
I didn’t know what to say. Even though I’d only known Ben for a couple of weeks, we’d clicked instantly. I’d never felt awkward around him. Not even once. He was so charismatic, he could make anybody feel comfortable in his company.
But that was the idea, right? The big plan to get me to trust him, so he could report back to Vincent. And I’d fallen for it.
Everything I thought I knew about him was a lie. And I needed to find out who the hell Benjamin Lavoie really was.
I licked my bottom lip and then dragged my teeth back over it; a nervous tick Sierra scolded me for when I was a kid, but I still never grew out of. Ben just continued to watch me, waiting for me to speak. He didn’t try to rush me, which somehow made it worse.
“So… they untied you, huh?” I asked, laughing softly.
Ben nodded. “Yup.”
I sighed and then gestured towards the bed. He nodded again, inviting me to sit, so I perched on the end, pulling my hands out of my pocket to rest them in my lap instead. I still nervously twiddled my fingers, though.
“I told Henry it wasn’t necessary, but… well, you know what he’s like by now.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
I nodded, biting my lip again. Then I inhaled deeply before the words tumbled out.
“Was any of it real, Ben?” I asked, not daring to look into his eyes. “I told you things, and I trusted you, and… I don’t have many friends.”
“Yes. I swear.” He responded. “Look, I’ll admit I didn’t come here with the best intentions. And you have absolutely no reason to trust me… But I swear to you, I didn’t know that’s what my da – Vincent – was planning. He told me it’d be easy to get you on board. What with the pack out of the way… once I found your weakness.” I dared to look at him then, and he flushed as he explained. “And I found it, pretty quickly.”
“Carter.” It was almost a whisper.
He nodded, dipping his head as if in shame. “He pretended he didn’t want Henry, at least at first. He didn’t even want all of Maine, or so he told me. The plan he told me was he would take the northern region, close to the border, so my mom and brother could come down and still be close enough to home to be happy. The pack could keep the rest, but you were to join him, so he had a bargaining chip. Said he knew they’d go back on their end of the deal eventually, and they’d run him out of town if he didn’t get enough numbers behind him. But if he had you? And he threatened your life? He figured that’d be enough to keep them in line. But he swore you’d be safe. That any threat was just that – a threat – and he’d never act on it. And I fucking believed him.” He shook his head, his fists balling where his arm rested on the side of the armchair. “When I saw how close you and Henry were… I knew there was no splitting the two of you up. He’d do anything to protect you, you know that?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat as my cheeks flushed. I wasn’t ready to talk about Henry; about my feelings for him, or whatever he might feel for me, if anything. Not yet, and certainly not with Ben.
“Why did you switch… in the end?” I asked. “You tricked me again.”
He released his fist and lay his palm flat against the arm of the chair instead, his fingers rubbing up and down the material. His eyebrows knotted together in confusion as he looked over at me again.
“You warned him about Henry.” I explained.
“Shit. I thought you…” He trailed off as he sat forward in his chair, and I flinched. His face fell as he caught my reaction, and he slumped back in the seat. “I thought you must’ve known… I had to make him think he could still trust me, that I was on his side, so I could catch him off guard.”
My face must have looked less than convinced, because he carried on frantically.
“I won’t lie to you and pretend I wanted him dead, Maddie. He is – was – my dad. I think I knew, deep down, what you and Henry were telling me was true, but… I didn’t want to believe it. That’s why I had to ask him, y’know?” He sighed. “I hadn’t ever seen that side of him before. He made it sound so righteous, like the packs were the bad guys and they’d taken advantage of him, kicking him while he was down… He killed that other werewolf, years ago. The one he got exiled for. I know that now. But despite everything…”
“He’s your dad.” I finished for him. “Your blood.”
“Yeah. And all he wanted was our family back together. That’s what he promised. And I thought…” He trailed off, but I knew what he was thinking. Ben didn’t have the best relationship with his mom because of what he was. He’d already told me that. And Vincent knew, too. And he’d preyed on Ben’s desire for a real and healthy family. My heart broke for him. “I’m so fucking stupid.”
“No you’re not.” I said. “He was just a bad guy.”
I wanted to believe him when he said he was really on our side in the end; I truly did. But I wasn’t sure if that was because what he was saying actually sounded truthful, or even logical, or just because I desperately wanted my friend back. But I had to decide; either I accepted his word and forgave him, or I walked away forever.
I already had to walk away from one friend, and I was dreading having that conversation… I didn’t want to do it twice. So, after a beat of silence, I said, “It was a good plan, I guess. The double agent thing.”
I offered him a smile, and he smiled back, but his lips barely twitched. It was far from the grin he normally had; the one that met his eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He gulped, but a tear broke free from his eye and rolled down his cheek. I instinctively reached forward to take his hand, and he met my eye. “It’s just… I’m scared, Maddie. Will it be quick?”
I raised my eyebrow. “What?”
“You know. I just… I saw… with Johnny, and… I don’t want that.”
“Ben, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.”
“He’s asking how we’re going to execute him.”
I jumped as my dad’s voice filled the room, and he took a step inside, the floorboards creaking under his weight. My eyes widened in horror and I launched myself to my feet, turning to face my dad with my mouth already opening, ready to argue. But he just held his hands up to me to stop my protests, and I had to clamp my mouth shut. “Right?” He added to Ben.
Ben straightened up out of the chair and nodded.
“Well, you were involved in a coup aiming to tear apart the Maine pack in order to take territory.” Dad said as he came to stand at the end of the bed. He used his fingers to tick Ben’s crimes off as he listed them. “You lied to my daughter. Personally targeted her to be a pawn in your plan. Falsified your identity to representatives of the pack when you were here as a guest on our territory. You knowingly and willingly did nothing whilst your father murdered innocent people as a distraction to leave Maine unprotected, in direct breach of the Order of Conduct for the supernatural community. And —”
I’d heard enough. Bile rose in my throat with every word. “You can’t be serious? Is this Ray’s decision? I want to speak to him!”
“This is your Alpha’s judgement, Madison, and you will respect it.” Dad said. “After much discussion, Ray has decided on a suitable punishment.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It couldn’t be happening. They couldn’t seriously be talking about executing Ben. Killing someone in self-defense, like Henry with Vincent and Johnny, was understandable. But this? This was murder.
Ben’s face paled, but he just nodded. And I didn’t know what to say. I opened my mouth, but no words came.
“A long and torturous drive back to Canada with Lincoln. A fate truly worse than death.” Dad said, and I wasn’t sure I’d heard him correctly until he continued. “You’re just a damn kid. I don’t know what you’ve learnt from Vincent Lavoie, or Aiden McCall, for that matter, but that’s not how we do things in the state of Maine. We just want to have a chat with you first.”
All the breath whooshed from my body in an instant, and my legs felt weak with relief. I wanted to throttle Dad for letting me believe the worst, even just for a second…
But it didn’t matter. They weren’t going to do it. Ben was going to be okay.
I gave my dad a light swat on the shoulder, earning a chuckle from him, before mumbling I’d be downstairs. Then I left them alone to talk.
* * *
Henry was leaning against the kitchen counter when I finally made it back downstairs. He held out a bottle of coke towards me, and I took it from him with a smile.
“You wanna get out of here?” He asked. “I need a break. And I’m starving.”
“Diner?” I suggested, and he nodded, before leading the way out to his car.
We didn’t speak on the drive to Silveroak, instead listening to the CD already in the stereo – a My Chemical Romance album I’d slipped into his collection a couple of years ago. He swore he didn’t like them, and usually he’d grumble whenever I sneaked the disc back into the player when he wasn’t looking. But not today. Today, he actually hummed along.
I grinned to myself at that, but let the sarcastic comment that was bubbling on my tongue fade away.
When he pulled the car to a stop in the parking lot of the diner, I reached for the door handle. But he didn’t make a move to get out, so I turned to face him, while he stared ahead out of the windshield.
“Henry?” I said, when the silence between us started to feel uncomfortable again.
He drummed on the steering wheel, still not looking at me. Then he sighed and turned to face me, his dark eyes boring into mine.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call you.” He said eventually. “After we… y’know. And I’m sorry I ran out.”
I felt my cheeks rush with heat, and I coughed, taken aback. “Okay,” was all I could manage.
He shook his head. “I… I wanted to call you. I should have.”
“So why didn’t you?” I forced myself to ask, even though I feared the answer.
He sighed. “It was getting too heavy. And I didn’t want…” His voice faded, and I bit my lip as I nodded.
“Oh.”
“Not like that!” He rushed on. “Fuck, no… I wanted it. I wanted you, so bad. And it took all my strength to stop. Jesus, Mads. You have no fucking idea how hard that was.” He paused before smirking. “No pun intended.”
My face burned with embarrassment at the comment, and he chuckled, before continuing.
“I just… I didn’t want you to wake up the next day and regret it.” He admitted.
I just stared at him, lost for words. Because it was all I’d ever wanted to hear from Henry. That he wanted me. That he felt the same way. And I didn’t know what the hell to say.
“I was gonna call and ask you out, like on a proper date.” He continued. “I’ve never really done that before, but I wanted to. For you. Because you deserve it. Then I thought it’d be better to come and see you. It’s stupid but—” He trailed off, fiddling with his fingers for a moment.
“I took the day off school and I went shopping. Bought you some flowers, and myself a fresh shirt. Even a bottle of that damn cologne you used to like. You remember the one?” He asked, and I nodded.
Sierra and Dan bought him his first bottle of cologne for his eleventh birthday, and I’d commented on how much I loved it. After his first Change, though, he stopped wearing it. The smell was too overpowering. I couldn’t believe he remembered that.
“I wanted to look good for you. But then Ben came by, and he told me what you said, and—”
I cut him off. “Wait… what?”
Henry rolled his eyes and shifted in his seat, the leather of his jacket creaking as he raised his arms to tap the steering wheel again in irritation. “It was embarrassing enough the first time, Madison, can we not rehash it?”
“What did Ben say I told him?” I demanded. “Tell me, Henry.”
He almost growled, and I thought I’d pushed him too far. That he was going to end the conversation there, storm out of the car, and I’d never get the chance again – the chance to be completely open and honest with him. About everything.
Finally, he grunted with frustration, and then said, “You really don’t remember? Fuck, Madison. You told him you regretted kissing me, ‘cus it fucked up your chances with Johnson. You hated me for it, but were too fucking scared of me to tell me yourself, so you asked Ben to.”
“And you believed that?”
He bit his lip, glancing at me briefly before looking forward again, his cheeks flushing beneath the stubble. “Not at first. I told him if you had something to say you could damn well say it to my fucking face.” He admitted, and I chuckled lightly, imagining the conversation playing out between them. “But, man, he was insistent. Said you wouldn’t make it awkward if I acted like it never happened and laid off Ben a bit. ‘Cus you needed him, since I hadn’t been there for you lately. And I guess it was my fucking ego that made me believe it, in the end. But clearly it didn’t bother Johnson when you told him… because you two are like, a thing now, right?”
I ignored his question. I hadn’t told Carter what happened between me and Henry. Because I’d thought it was just a mistake. And it was mortifying, so it didn’t need to be mentioned again. Should I have told him? Was I deceiving him by not?
I guess it didn’t matter anymore. Not when I was going to tell him we had to go our separate ways.
“I never said that to Ben.” I said, pushing thoughts of Carter aside.
“Which part? That you regretted kissing me or being scared of me?”
I rolled my eyes. “I think I’ve more than proven I’m not afraid of you, haven’t I?”
“Yeah. Fucking pain in my ass, this new you, honestly.” He joked, then he looked forward, refusing to meet my eyes again, as he said, “You really didn’t say any of that shit?”
I shook my head. “No. You should’ve known that. And you should’ve called, Henry. That was a real asshole move.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.”
I cleared my throat. “Well, I guess I could’ve called you, too. We’re both to blame. But Ben said that… Well, he said you had a girl over, that day he came to see you.”
He nodded slowly. “Yeah, that’s true. Sophia came by.”
My face fell. I tried to hide it, but he must have noticed, because he rushed into an explanation.
“It wasn’t like that! Fuck. Jesus, Mads, I already told you I’m not interested in her anymore. But she turned up and asked to talk. Said she was worried about me because I never missed a game day. Which was clearly bullshit, right? She was just missing all of this.” He joked, moving his hands exaggeratedly down his body – trying to ease the tension. I rolled my eyes and swatted him on the shoulder, earning myself a deep chuckle, before he turned serious again.
“I know I should’ve told her to get lost, but… I was trying this thing of being a nice guy. ‘Cus I thought that’s what you wanted me to be. So I let her come in. But it was just talking, I swear. We dated for a long time, y’know? I thought maybe we could be friends. So I wanted to clear the air.”
I nodded. I believed him. Henry couldn’t lie to me; I knew him too well.
“I’m sorry too.” I said, and he raised his eyebrow questioningly. “For not telling you as soon as I knew about Vincent. Or about what he was doing, anyway. I didn’t know who he was. But that’s not the point. We don’t keep secrets from each other.”
