Cupid/Stupid Copy

  Monstrous surprises book 3

  E.V. Sauvage

  Copyright © 2023 by E.V. Sauvage

  All rights reserved.

  No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher or author, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.

  Contents

  1. Chapter 1

  Trigger warnings

  1. When a girls' night is all our heroine needs

  2. When the heroine finally gets the drama that she wished for

  3. When the heroine shuts up an asshole’s mouth

  4. When everyone goes home tired

  5. When the heroine discovers that — maybe — she shouldn’t have antagonized Cupid

  6. When the heroine has murder ideas

  7. When life hangs by a thread

  8. When the heroine would do anything for it to stop

  9. When the heroine discovers something interesting

  10. When the heroine has questions

  11. When the heroine wants her phone back

  12. When the heroine has to do something to get her phone back

  13. When the heroine hates Cupid even more

  14. When the heroine has vibrating problems

  15. When the heroine hates Cupid so much that she wants to kiss him

  16. When Cupid brings heaven to Rose

  17. When the heroine might have gotten a taste and wants more

  18. When the heroine gets back to reality

  19. When the heroine has a stalker

  20. When the heroine falls into a trap… again

  21. When the heroine might want the trap this time

  22. When the heroine gets an angel for herself

  Epilogue

  Extended epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  Also By E.V. Sauvage

  About the author

  To you who think Cupid is a cunt, you’re wrong, he’s worse

  Trigger warnings

  This book contains mature content, descriptive sex scenes, profanity, kidnapping, shibari king of bondage, and a main character who is morally grey.

  Chapter 1

  When a girls' night is all our heroine needs

  This was going to end up in a disaster, Rose was sure of it. At times, drinking before trying to shoot arrows had been a great idea — or Rose had thought — but now that she faced the target her hands were sweaty and she wasn’t completely sure she would be able to aim right, let alone touch the target. If her arrow finished its course in the colorful circles that had been printed on the paper stuck on hay, or even just in the hay, Rose would be relieved.

  She was clumsy most days, if there was something to bump into, she would be the one to do it. It was annoying, but since it had been an eternal fixture in her life, she had grown thick skin and was pretty resistant to whatever life decided to throw at her.

  She wasn’t sure she was ready for what could happen if she totally missed though.

  Why did Rose, Carla, and Isis pick this pub for their ladies’ night? And who the hell thought mixing a shooting stand with alcohol was a good idea?

  Yeah, she needed to stop complaining, she had been the one asking for this night, she had been the one who had thought going to “Cupid” for their Galentine’s day party was a neat joke.

  Cupid was a cunt and it felt right to celebrate friendship over love right under his nose.

  Even if it wasn’t literally under the real Cupid’s nose.

  If he even existed.

  Rose wouldn’t put it past the universe if Cupid really existed.

  So far in the past months, she had met a demon and three puma-shifters and also discovered her best friend was a witch, not that Isis had known she was a witch herself. She had summoned a demon — now her boyfriend — and surprisingly it had worked.

  The puma-shifters were all Carla’s fault. She had been robbed in the middle of the night and instead of leaving with the Christmas gifts from under the tree, the thief had left with Carla’s heart.

  The thief had been a puma-shifter and he came with a “package”, Mickaela and Astrid, his sisters, who had been invited tonight.

  Mickaela was so drunk that she kept hugging everyone, including the barmaid. In fact, if Rose thought very well about it, it was a genius thing to do because Rose couldn’t remember who had paid for half of the cocktails they had drunk. Mickaela was a damn genius.

  She also could hit the bullseye with each of her arrows and Rose started to get annoyed. None of her arrows had even left her bow.

  At least she was trying. Because Astrid was physically there with all of them, but her mind had been elsewhere all evening, her phone almost glued to her hand.

  The night had started with each message arriving on her phone bringing her an even bigger smile, but the smile had turned into a frown just minutes ago and Rose couldn’t wait to see the drama of the situation unfold. Or for Astrid to break. In a fit of cries or of anger, Rose wasn’t picky.

  Anything would be better than shooting those arrows, that would never hit a thing it seemed.

  Carla had offered to help her. She was a more outdoorsy woman thanks to all those camping trips she had taken with her dad and had been able to do almost as well as Mickaela.

  Isis wouldn’t have tried to help, she had given up her bow and was sipping on a cocktail that never seemed to empty.

  Rose felt good and it was a nice change from all those weeks of trying to date and obviously failing. She had been in a long relationship until a few months ago and she had discovered with dread that dating when you were over thirty was Hell.

  Or at least it was Rose’s personal kind of Hell. She wasn’t complaining because no one “matched” with her, oh no, she knew she was attractive, not top model attractive, but still. She had long red hair, blue eyes, and lovely freckles over her nose and under her eyes. She had been told she could seduce with just a smile…

  As it was, dating apps weren’t the better place to use that skill and it felt that it wouldn’t have helped her in real life either. Men in the dating pool over thirty were like sharks. If they felt that you looked even a tiny bit like prey they would bite and never back down. Even when Rose had told them it wouldn’t work between them. She knew what she wanted and didn’t want after all.

  So she had blocked and blocked and blocked, until she had realized Cupid was probably laughing at her from his spot in the sky and that she would stay single for the rest of her life.

  It was alright. She still had her friends and her job at the local journal, the “Daily Hollow”. It was enough to make her happy.

  “Keep your legs apart like this,” Carla said as she moved her feet to make a perpendicular angle with the line of sight to the target, “now turn your head to face the target. Use your left hand on the bow to help you aim, and now pull the string as far as you can and keep your elbow leveled.”

  Carla moved away to give Rose enough room to shoot.

  “And now release the string,” she said.

  Rose nodded and it was the last sane thing that happened before all Hell broke.

  Chapter 2

  When the heroine finally gets the drama that she wished for

  Rose released her hand and the string hit the side of her breast, giving a wide berth to the arrow and making it fly up. Rose followed the arrow’s track to the “Cupid” sign hanging above the targets. It was written all in gold and a golden arrow rested just under the name.

  It was there that Rose’s arrow decided to bury itself in the sign, knocking off the golden arrow in the process and sending it flying in another direction. Actually, right in the direction of Cupid, the pretentious owner of this pub/shooting stand, parading in a dark blue suit and… freaking wings.

  Rose couldn’t really blame him for trying. Except for the contempt that hadn’t left his face the whole time he had paraded at the bar and near the shooting stand, he really looked the part.

  He had picked the name of the place because of his looks, Rose did not doubt it.

  The man was tall, almost as tall as Sebastian, Carla’s Puma-shifter boyfriend, and looked like he took great care of his looks. Curly blond hair framed an angelic face with chiseled cheeks and light blue eyes.

  The only thing that was all wrong with the angelic vibe was his smile. It had nothing sweet and innocent. It promised dark things that Rose had no will to know.

  But Cupid was a cunt, so maybe that man had found the perfect balance to what the real Cupid could look like.

  Just because of that mean smile, Rose couldn’t call the man beautiful. She had no idea what that smile would turn into if he was mad.

  And Rose felt as if she was about to find out.

  Because as if fate had a hand in it, the runaway arrow was dangerously aiming at him, and with his back to her, there was no way he would realize in time what was about to hit him.

  Until the golden arrow embedded itself in his right buttcheek.

  It shouldn’t have been possible. The speed of the arrow had been slow. It hadn’t been shot, after all, it only had fallen – even though Rose had to admit it, the course had curved way more than it should have been able to – from the establishment sign.

  “Who the fuck is the idiot who has done that?” He yelled to no one in particular, frantically looking everywhere in the shooting stand part of the place until his gaze settled on Rose.

  “You!” His voice was seething, and his smile had been all but wiped from his face. In its stead, his lips had settled into a harsh line and Rose could have sworn she could have seen traces of lightning in the blue of his eyes.

  He took slow but resolute steps in her direction. Rose could see everything that appeared in his eyes, the pain he wanted to inflict, the vengeance he wanted to exact, and the pleasure he would take in all of this.

  Yeah, Rose was sure of one thing, this man was not an angel, far from it.

  Or maybe he was an angel of vengeance, one who was coming for Rose.

  She should be scared shitless, anyone in her stead would be, but Rose had never backed down from a fight and she sure as hell could recognize one when it was coming for her.

  Isis and Carla used to say that Rose loved drama. Yes, she did, but it was more than that, drama loved her too.

  She flicked her hair over her shoulder and held the bow by one tip, the other one resting on the ground, making it look like she hadn’t a care in the world.

  No man, even one who looked like some vengeful angel, would make her feel like she had done something wrong.

  She might have done something wrong… the golden arrow still jutting out from the back of his pants was proof enough to incriminate her, but it shouldn’t have been able to fall with the strength Rose had put into her shot.

  She didn’t work out, she didn’t walk her ten thousand steps a day, and she had purposefully chosen a house that was all on the ground floor just to avoid stairs.

  Her shot should never have been able to hit a single thing, even with all the help of Carla or of a misplaced boob.

  Rose would stick to that version of the facts.

  When the owner of the place arrived in front of Rose, she still hadn’t moved, and he was so furious that he started to look a bit red.

  Maybe if Rose tried to rile him up a bit more his head would explode like in the cartoons she watched when she was a kid.

  He looked like he deserved it anyway.

  “You fucking idiot, how the fuck that happened?” He tore the arrow out of his buttcheek, dripping blood on the wooden floor. “Do you have a death wish?”

  “Which answer do you want the most?” Carla cocked her head to the side, brought her index finger to her mouth, bit the nail, held her hand in front of her, then turned it as if she was admiring her nails. He could have been a fly on the wall, she would have given him as much attention.

  Rose’s reaction to him seemed to throw him a bit out of the haze of his anger. She saw him hesitate for a fraction of a second before he talked again.

  “Answer both questions,” He said in a hard voice that grated on Rose’s nerves.

  “You’re lucky I’m in a good mood because I don’t owe you any answer, at least not about the second question, which is no, of course, by the way.” Rose finally tipped her chin up to look the angelic bastard in the eyes. “Would you believe me if I say that it was pure luck if it happened?” She asked, plastering the most innocent smile on her face.

  “You meant to say misfortune, surely.” The bastard dared to say.

  “Oh no, I’m pretty sure pure luck was what I wanted to say.” Her smile stretched even further on her face.

  “You didn’t say that. You can’t be that dumb.” The look he gave her was harsh and unyielding. “What is your name?”

  “Why do you need my name? Are you going to make a voodoo doll with my face on it? Or cast a spell? Do you need one of my hair? Or maybe one of my nails? I can even do you one better, I should spit on you, you’d have saliva for whatever spell you are planning to curse me with!”

  Yes, Rose was pretty sure she was exaggerating – a lot – and rambling – a bit – but she might have indulged a bit – too much – in cocktails, and this party had started to be boring and in deep need of things – anything – to spice things up.

  And Rose knew exactly how to spice things up.

  Even if she started to think that she might not like the results coming out of her petty behavior.

  “You must be stupid,” He hissed.

  “I don’t know, you’re the one with a dumb name. Cupid? Is that really your name? That sounds like stupid… So Stu, what are you going to do?”

  “Oh, Sunshine, you should have never said that,” Cupid said and the smirk on his face promised violence and pain.

  Chapter 3

  When the heroine shuts up an asshole’s mouth

  “Why? Are you going to give me a little lesson?” The asshole looked all pleased and confident, and Rose couldn’t let that go. Maybe she should be the one giving him a lesson.

  Anyone here could have told him that what had happened was nothing intentional, but somehow people must have loved drama as much as Rose because no one said anything.

  The music was still playing but it was the only sound one could hear in the room. The tension was almost palpable and it was like everyone was holding their breath, even Rose’s friends.

  But they knew better. They knew that even if they tried to stop her she might or might not only make it worse.

  Carla tried to move her way, only taking a step before the glare Rose sent her stopped her in her track and left her a few feet away clutching at her bow as if it could solve the whole problem Rose was causing.

  “You have no idea, Sunshine.” He grabbed forcefully her chin and forced her to look him in the eyes. “I’m going to pin you on my wall, trap you, gag you and tie you up like the useless thing that you are.” He twirled the bloody arrow he had removed from his own butt in his hands, dripping blood on her in a line that was almost aesthetic. “One arrow at a time. By the time I’ll be done with you, your throat will be raw from screaming and you’ll wish you never upset me. You’ll wish you never met me.”

  Rose shivered. It wasn’t even cold, but the words he had uttered froze her to her bone.

  And this man was supposed to be an angel???

  Who the fuck believed that?

  He was a cold-blooded asshole and his threats were half-assed ones. Rose wasn’t scared of him or his dark promises. She’d been hurt before, there was no chance she would let simple words give her nightmares again.

  She’d been there, done that.

  Her high school years had been hell, she’d been the chubby girl, too smart for her own sake and it had caught the eye of a few people. A few people who had found her weak and had loved to torment her. A few people who had enough power inside and outside the school – or their parents – for everyone to turn a blind eye to whatever they deemed fit to do, namely call Rose names and always make sure she knew where she belonged. At the bottom of the social scale, especially every time they not so inadvertently poured their cold or hot drinks on her.

  At that time, words had hurt, they were insidious, and wormed their way under her skin, until Rose had stopped thinking she was worth anything in the eyes of others. She had kept working her ass off, it was probably the only thing that had saved her, but she also had indulged in food over and over, because it was the only thing that brought her joy. Food brought her joy… how sad that had been.

  But she had gotten stronger, had met good people that helped her see her worth again, and now she wouldn’t back down in the face of a bully.

  And Rose could recognize a bully when she saw one.

  This man had always gotten anything, everything, even the things he thought he didn’t need or really want. It was written on his face.

  He thought everything was meant to be his, that the world belonged to him, and in a way he was right. For as long as no one told him he truly was wrong, it was true because no one stopped him, and no one made him question what he knew.

  “Poor Stu who thinks everyone should be scared of him.” Rose went into his personal space, pointing her index finger at his chest and pushing her nail at the edge of cutting through the skin. “I don’t need to spend more time with you to know I regret meeting you.”

  She patted his chest as one would do with a kid, pinched his cheek —she hoped it hurt even a tiny bit — and turned to leave.

  At the door to the pub, she turned to have the last word.

  “See you never, Stupid.” Then she slapped the door and was greeted by the heavy silence of the night.

 

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